Recurrent miscarriage support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 8

[Bakingtins]

Welcome everyone, pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of company, information, moral support, tea or sympathy.

Can I suggest we start page 1 with a recap of where we are all up to, because my fuddled head can't keep track?

baking it is really positive that you have got this far but I know the anxiety is awful and you can't really let yourself believe but everything sounds very positive for you, I too have a Christmas edd

My SIL had her baby girl last night. Induced 3 weeks early due to GD, which at least moves her away from my EDD coming up. I'm not sure how I feel about it, pleased for them, but jealous of the ease of it. She's always asking if we'd like a third ( she only knows about one MC) so obviously lives in a world where wanting a baby makes it so. DH chose the day I had my last mc confirmed as complete to tell me she was pregnant

Good luck Baking. I've had 3 appointments made and only made it to one of them. All 3 were MCs, so I really understand. I really hope it goes well and you get a supportive mw.

good luck baking

Good luck baking, thinking of you. New babies in the family are bitter sweet. In a funny way I was glad I practically delivered my nephew as I was involved and rather the hero of the hour. I had been dreading how I would feel. I told the hospital staff about my situation early on once we got to hospital so they wouldn't say stupid things to me all afternoon. Good vibes coming your way!

good luck baking!

Baking very best of luck. I know what you mean about superstition - of course these things are just superstition but they are so very real and terrifying when you're in the middle of it.

My GP kindly/crassly gave up telling anyone medical (except the EPU) I was PG after a while ("we'll see whether it's worth it"). So I will go through everything for the "first time" if/when any treatment from St Mary's works.

New babies are so bittersweet. I find often whether the mum knows the score about me and how sensitive she is makes a big difference. Once a colleague quietly came up to me (without baby) and explained she'd had fertility and MC issues before hers, and she wished me all the best. That meant a lot. But another blithely told me to "get real about my easy early losses, once I'd been through natural childbirth then I'd know pain" in order to "cheer me up"- not that I'd mentioned anything physical, complained and I'd only taken 3 or 4 days off each time.

My latest rage is against mums who post those idiotic 'slogan-over-a photo-meme-things' on FB which imply that if you haven't got a child (a) it's because you want to party unlike the moral superior mums or (b) you have no idea and couldn't possibly handle a baby (unlike them). Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the plain slushy "share if your son is the handsomest" ones, but the others make me want to scream "You are actually very lucky!! If mothers really do have super caring powers maybe think how this might affect infertile or miscarriage sufferers, to be portrayed as party girls!!" (Aaaand breathe, just needed a rant there... sorry I sound REALLY ANGRY don't I?? AF must be a-knockin').

i have unfriended people on fb for those squizita i have only been back at work a week and had 4 people tell me if i want another baby i better get on with it now im 37

I'm at the people at your work, purple, that's awful and very very rude!

I sometimes think that mc is still such a taboo, generally people do not seem to know how common it is (I had to admit that I didn't, until it happened to me...). But it's still very insensitive to make a comment like that!

squiz I've never seen a post like the one you've described, but I think I'd be tempted to de-friend anyone who posts something like that, too...

Sending good vibes and hugs, baking I'm with you on the booking in superstitions, totally understandable - good luck for a sticky bean! Does your mw know your history? Hope she is kind and understanding.
Would you not tell your SIL about your mcs? So that she stops asking?

Thank you all for the reassurance that low AMH is not the end of the world just yet. I'm hoping to get a more complete picture next week at the appointment with the mc clinic... But I'm not holding my hopes up too much, thinking it'll be all down to my age from the medical point of view. Feeling a bit morose at the moment, wondering what we will find out next week and what it will mean in terms of ttc. Not sure I want to face it all...

Got through booking in without incident. I have the same community MW as with my boys, but am prob going to have to have mainly consultant care due to history. She's v matter of fact so I kept a lid on the waterworks. It feels daft to be planning where to have the baby etc, everyone else is much more positive about it than I am! Ah well, another mini-hurdle surmounted.

I'm not sure about telling SIL, DH decided not to tell any of his family which is a bit but I feel it's up to him. She'd be bound to tell MIL and then I'd never hear the end of it.

Baking that must be a weight off your mind! Phew. One step closer every day!
It's tricky with in-laws, as it's kind of up to whoever's family it is to make that call. Hope it's all as smooth and un-traumatic as it can be for you!

MMC on 29th July '13 at 11+4
MC on 7 Nov '13 at 5+2.....still recovering.

Turning 39 in less than a month.
Where do I go from here? Do I try again ASAP? I guess it would mean I get tested sooner, should I lose a third.....

I've resigned myself not to test next time until I'm at least a week late, though I seem to get very early strong symptoms.....breast pain, tender abdomen and metallic taste....so I will "know" even if I don't test....so I guess I'll be just as upset if I start bleeding when my AF is due. I have irregular periods, anywhere from 31 to 42 days, so hard even to know when I ovulate. With the first pregnancy it must have been cd10 given how early the symptoms started and how early I got my BFP, but with the second it must have been around cd20.
It's such an unknown, and such a sad time.

Hi Ruggle welcome to the club nobody wants to join

In your shoes I'd approach your GP. Although the guidelines say 3MC in a row, there is some discretion involved, you may be lucky and get someone sympathetic. The irregular periods might be significant, for example PCOS can cause miscarriages, so that's another angle to approach it from - hormone tests etc might be a good place to start.
The other option is to go private to jump the queue. I did this after my 3rd MC (but not 3 in a row) it cost £200 to see a consultant and then the GP did the tests she advised on the NHS. I'm like you, 39 at the end of this month, no time to muck about.

I would test when your period is due, particularly if you will know anyway. Should the worst happen and you have another chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage, you don't want it not to 'count' because you hadn't tested.

Hello everyone. Sounds good, baking - well done on getting through booking in. Welcome, ruggle. squiz - I saw and held a close friend's very new baby a couple of weeks ago - I did well mostly but it did get very hard after I'd been there a while. She has been marvellous about it, though.

I know I've been away but I just wanted to pop back and tell you all I'm pregnant. 5 weeks (by dates, which will be right. Not overly strong positive last Mon). Scan today and saw a little (as yet) empty sac plus a rather larger haematoma . Have refused hCG monitoring. Next appt in 3 weeks. Already have a lovely bruised stomach from the heparin. Am ruthlessly detached, as an alternative to being terrified.

Picardy me too. Am taking each day as a pregnant day until it's not. I'm not happy in my detached state, but can't cope with the alternative.

Thanks Bakingtins

It's such hard work to get an appointment with my GP that I am somewhat tempted to go private for tests.

I think I had hormone tests for PCOS yonks ago, but was told I didn't have it, and was also told that I'd find it hard to conceive because of my cycle. We didn't find it hard to conceive at all...though maybe down to fluke....but just not able to find a bean that sticks.

I worry that my eggs may have been damaged by a reaction I had to a potent antibiotic 4 years ago. It damaged my nerves, tendons and muscles, and is known to interfere with DNA, though I can't remember how. It's the same drug that's been implicated in Gulf War Syndrome. If this is causing my problems then it's not likely to show up in tests, as it's the result of a toxic reaction rather than a disease process.....but I have my fingers crossed that this isn't what's causing the miscarriages....and that the next bean will be a sticky one.

Picardy congratulations! everything crossed for you.

I have got on much better with the clexane since listening to advice from on here - ice your stomach first (bag of peas) expel the air from the syringe (directly contravening what the instructions say) and hold the skin taut/flat with your fingers to slide the needle in at 45 degrees, rather than pinching a fold, inject slowly to allow the heparin to disperse, ice again. Since doing that I get at worst a little 2mm bruise rather than the 3 inch whopper I got from the first injection.

Just a sac at 5 weeks is ok. I had a haematoma at 5+4 and 8 weeks and it seems to have resolved itself, so not necessarily bad.

I like the phrase PUPO stolen from the pred thread - pregnant until proven otherwise!

Ruggle sorry to hear about your adverse reaction. I don't know enough about it to comment but it sounds worth pursuing if there is a link with DNA damage. In any subsequent miscarriage (sorry to be so negative, I hope your next pregnancy is a success) I'd really push for cytogenetic testing - you need to know if these losses are chromosomal or not.

Picardy sending good luck sticky vibes!

ruggle welcome. Hope you get some answers soon.

Squiz are you feeling better today or do you still have the ?

Baking feeling a bit saner, but still mid-pmt-week so a bit of a grump!

Picardy Congratulations! Good luck and good vibes!
Welcome Ruddle, hope you can get fast tracked and get some answers.
Work is hectic, I am off to St Mary's for my human pin cushion duties tomorrow.
Waves to everyone. :)

Oh, I like PUPO a lot. I think of myself as having conceived rather than being pg iyswim. In German there is an expression for being pg which translates as 'in hope', so i think of myself as being 'in hope of being in hope' tanny - atm I find the idea of going to term really quite bizarre, a bit science-fiction-ish. Definitely a self-protection mechanism, but bring it on - I need it.

Thanks for the injecting advice - am a bit about my injecting skills as it didn't bruise nearly so much last pg. They always tell you to not under any circumstances do it other than perfectly straight - will try the angled thing tomorrow. How many weeks are you now?

Good luck for tomorrow, Justone!

tanny, the was not for you, but for the delights of this situation...

No worries! I feel like most of the time!