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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Miscarried yesterday..................

109 replies

Northerner · 18/04/2006 22:49

And feeling a bit low tbh. I was 9 weeks and last night I actually passed the feotus and I can't get the image out of my head.......

Have great support here, but it's always good to talk to people who have been there.

Am off to bed soon so if I don't answer I'll be back in the morning.

Thanks for listening.

OP posts:
jampots · 18/04/2006 22:50

:( sorry Northerner. Ive never been there and couldnt imagine it to be honest

hunkermunker · 18/04/2006 22:50

Oh sweetheart Sad

Oh, you poor love Sad

I don't know what to say other than I'm so very sorry - be kind to yourself x x x x x

madrose · 18/04/2006 22:51

I am so so so sorry. I remember that helpless feeling so well, thinking why, why, why. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Thinking of you at this very sad time.

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 18/04/2006 22:52

Sad northerner so sorry babe
hugs
xxx

Socci · 18/04/2006 22:54

Sad so sorry - thinking of you xx

FastasleepInTheHellPit · 18/04/2006 22:54

Aw no how awful Sad thinking of you xxx

Nemo1977 · 18/04/2006 22:55

northener thinking of you.

ShaysMummy · 18/04/2006 22:55

My heart goes out to you.
I miscarried at 10weeks in July 2004. It started on the aeroplane on the way home from a holiday of a lifetime in the caribbean.
we felt so helpless 30 thousand feet in the sky. we just sat and cried for 10hours!
i also passed the baby and the image will be with me forever.
Dont listen to anyone who makes out you shouldnt hurt because you were 'only 10wks'. it doesnt matter how far gone you are- you still lost a child and need to grieve.
Make sure your dh/dp does too, mine bottled it up a bit and got very upset in the end.
as far as im concerned, ive had 2 babies and i remember him/her all the time. especially on the due date.
take things slowly and dont expect too much of yourself- tiny things will upset you.
you will feel better but you will never forget and it will take time.
:)
Xx

MrsSpoon · 18/04/2006 22:55
Sad
SleepyJess · 18/04/2006 22:58

have been there Northerner (((((hugs)))) :( I was nine weeks too. It was 8 years ago and it does get much much easier to bear I promise.. although you will never forget.

SJ xx

biglips · 18/04/2006 23:08
Sad
twocatsonthebed · 18/04/2006 23:12

Hello Northerner.

Really sorry to hear that, I miscarried last year at 11 weeks, although the baby had stopped growing some time before that, and I managed to get to hospital, so didn't have to see.

It's miserable basically. I had a lot of support (discovered how many people I knew had also had miscarriages) but was still very tearful for a long time, and also wanted to kill any pregnant women I saw on the street, as it wasn't fair. All I'd say is echoing what hunkermunker said, be as nice to yourself as you can, take time out if possible, and talk to people. Our hospital had a miscarriage counsellor, but if not, The Miscarriage Assn are supposed to be very good.

And remember that it's not your fault, or anything wrong with you. Dp's uncle, who works in reproductive biology, said that making a baby is such a complex process, and sometimes just a tiny mistake gets into the copying, and that's why a pregnancy miscarries, and it's no one's fault at all. I found that really helped me to remember that.

tc x x

threelittlebabies · 18/04/2006 23:14

I'm so sorry northener, and will be thinking of you Sad Take care x

PrincessPeaHead · 18/04/2006 23:15

oh northerner I;m so very sorry to hear that. take care of yourself Sad

LadySherlockofLGJ · 18/04/2006 23:21

Will talk to you when you are ready, also M/C when living in HGT, brought back feelings I thought I had dealt with, more than happy to talk to you.

E-mail when you are ready dearheart.

My heart goes out to you.

Remembering you and your baby.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/04/2006 23:31

So so sorry to hear that Northerner. Sad

Please take care of yourself xxx

cataloguequeen · 18/04/2006 23:44

so sorry babeSad

please take it easy okay.x

Chandra · 18/04/2006 23:49

I'm so sorry to hear that Northerner, I'm not sure I can say anything that may make you feel better but I wanted to send you a big heartfelt cyber hug.

Esmummy · 19/04/2006 09:20

Northerner, Have posted on the Nov thread but wasn't sure if you would go back on there to see the messages you have got.

I'm so terribly sorry :( I can't imagine how you must be feeling so i wont pretend to, I can only think how i would feel and i feel really gutted for you.
Thinking of you x

secur · 19/04/2006 09:22

Hi Northerner, just to let you know I am thinking of you Sad

Take care

Secur xx

MadameDeMars · 19/04/2006 09:23

Sad I'm so so sorry honey.

Original poster
Northerner · 19/04/2006 09:40

Thanks guys. Everyone is being so nice and that makes me cry even more Sad

Can't beleive how sad I feel. I know it will take time, but I want to feel like me again IYKWIM.

OP posts:
CristinaTheAstonishing · 19/04/2006 09:51

So sorry to hear this, Northerner.

hoxtonchick · 19/04/2006 09:58

really sorry :(

hunkermunker · 19/04/2006 10:00

You will feel like you again, albeit with a little corner of sadness for your baby. It will take time. And the sadness will sneak up on you sometimes when you least expect it. But those unawares moments will lessen with time - it doesn't mean you'll forget, it just means you're healing.

But now it's very raw. I have found that imagining putting the memories in a drawer in your mind is helpful - then you can choose to open that drawer and get them out to see again - but then you can put it away again. I'm sorry if that sounds ridiculous, but it has helped me in the past x x x