Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

[orangebowl]

Hi guppie. Just worth you knowing that normally they advise aspirin from the point of BFP but heparin from the point you see a heartbeat (so they scan around 6wks as it should be visible then). Hopefully this month for you. X

[teaandchocolate]

I bought some ovulation sticks but they're cheapo ones and really tricky to use (require dipping in room temperature wee at the same time everyday!) and because my cycles are so eratic I think if end up doing it for weeks. Fancy trying clear blue digital ones but they're so expensive. Next month I will just dtd every other day. I think this cycle I was just blasé as I always get pregnant so easily.

Still no sign of AF though. I bought some more tests but still bfn. Getting very frustrated! Desperate for a bloody glass of wine but don't dare just in case....my body is taking the p**s!!

School how are you feeling? And Butterfly any news?!!

[orangebowl]

That's frustrating tea. Particularly not knowing whats going on with your cycle. Dtd Every other day if you can manage it (!) is a good policy. That's how we conceived my DS so I recon it must be a good strategy!

I am feeling alright. Im 9+3 today. Of my 4 miscarriages.. Seen heartbeats for 2.. One stopped at 8+3. And the other at 9+1.. So safe to say I am pretty scared right now. Next scan on Monday when I should be 10+1.. Can't imagine there being a heartbeat.. But trying to stay positive.

[teaandchocolate]

Oh school I really hope Monday is good news!! Once you get to 10 weeks if everything's ok it's so likely that all will be good. I felt much calmer at 10 weeks (after the scan!) with DD. there's no point in me saying dont worry everything will be fine because all of us here know that we are those 1 in 100 unlucky people! But try to stay positive or at least sane until Monday. I'm thinking of you...& really hope you will be this board's next success story! Either way I'm alway here to chat...probably POA(bloody!)S!!

For my 1st 2 pregnancies we dtd every other day...although I was a bit younger then but with my long cycles it is hard work!! However for my last 2 pregnancies we only dtd twice I think! Although I can't exactly give advice on successful pregnancies!

[orangebowl]

Haha you made me laugh with the thought that over the next 4 days you will either be peeing on a stick or checking on me!

Just trying not to think about it really until Sunday night when I will probably be petrified! Just trying to remind myself there is nothing I can do.. What will be will be

[teaandchocolate]

I do indeed have an exciting life!

You definitely have the right approach, you're doing amazingly x

[butterfly86]

Hi tea don't know what's going on thought af had started this afternoon (after i'd been to the doctors & she had a good poke around!) but it's tailed of again, I've had this brown spotting now for about 12 days! I wish I could just have. a proper bleed and get it over with and get my cycles back to normal.
What a pain for you still not knowing what's happening with you either, who would be a woman eh! It's so much easier when things happen on time at least you know then you can get on with the next month, trouble is with us we like to be in control and when it doesn't go exactly how we expect it to we are no good!
School good luck for monday I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! We need a nice success story and hopefully everyone else will follow x

[teaandchocolate]

Butterfly I know what you mean. I also just want AF to turn up now! If I'm not pregnant then want to get back to 'normal' & try again. I had brown bleeding on & off for months after my 1st mc. Apparently it's normal for hormones to take a while to settle down & the doctor said maybe exacerbated by stress (how do you not stress?!). Anyway in the end the consultant gave me progesterone to induce a period and on the next cycle I got pregnant with my DD. see how long the brown bleeding goes on for and then maybe ask for the same?

[orangebowl]

Just to give you another perspective butterfly and tea.. After 2 of my erpcs I basically dd t have any periods (bit of spotting at most every cycle) and was convinced there was something wrong.. Have got pregnant after each one so was obviously ovulating.. Strange but actually rabid (if not that easy to interpret at the time).

Thanks for both your wishes. Will post Monday afternoon and let you know either way. X

[butterfly86]

Well definately have af now I'm pleased it's arrived so I know where I am and it's on time so at least things have settled down straight away. Only thing is I'm having a lot of clots sorry if tmi! They are small no large ones is this normal for first af following a natural mc as I only have experience of erpc? I'm prob passing more "bits" than I did during the actual mc, I had a scan afterwards and the lining was thin so nothing left behind, I'm not worried or anything just wondering if it sounds normal.

[teaandchocolate]

That is good AF is here now. Are you going to ttc straight away?

I think clots are normal. I had some little ones in my first AF after natural mc but as I'd also had a scan I wasn't too worried. Also read on here of others having the same....I think!

[butterfly86]

Hi tea I thought the clots would be normal. I don't know what we will do about ttc straight away I don't know how I feel about it if I'm honest...with the other 2 mc I've been desperate to try again but this time I'm not. We talked about it tonight I said to dp I'm just tired of it all, if it happens quickly then fine but I don't mind if it doesn't (I might not be sayin that in a couple of months) I'm like you in that I've been lucky to fall quickly so who knows what will happen. We won't prevent it as that doesn't feel right either so we will probably just go with it and what will be will be.
Have you any news yet?

[teaandchocolate]

It felt so wierd for me not trying over the past 6 months or so as I felt compelled to ttc especially when I knew I was ovulating. Like I couldn't bear to waste a good egg! But actually having some time off was good for me and gave me a chance to just be me avian. I could eat what I wanted and drink, get my nails done etc and not worry about being pregnant and everything that goes with that. See how you feel but I know with me if we tried I'd have got pregnant.

I've still not tested again! Think I will tomorrow morning. Having cramps on & off but no AF. Will keep u posted!

[butterfly86]

I think it would do me good to to take a break but it is a hard decision to make. In your words I want to be me again when I say this to my dp he doesn't understand what I mean, I feel like I've lost part of who I used to be I don't quite feel like me anymore. I don't think that will ever change though if I'm honest unless maybe it will get better if I'm lucky enough to get a baby eventually. I don't want to get blase about getting pregnant easily as things can change but that's the. thing unless we are preventing it it's probably going to happen.

Let us know how you get on if you decide to test tomorrow!

[teaandchocolate]

Tested again and it was bfn . Feel so disappointed as had convinced myself I could be pregnant. Gutted that no AF either as just means we can't try again for ages and who knows what my cycle is doing. And in the meantime all my friends are having their babies. Just wanted to be past 12 weeks by my next due date. Feel really upset actually which is silly and need to pull myself together otherwise I'm never going to keep going with all this. But ugh....

Butterfly I feel like I've totally lost myself over the past year. The first mc changed me but once I had got to 12 weeks with DD I was just so happy and extra grateful. I loved the first 18 months of her life so much. Then I feel the last year I've been consumed by having a baby and feeling jealous of everyone else who can which is so not me! Also hate lying to everyone and trying to avoid seeing people when I'm having a particularly bad day. Sorry am so grumpy this morning- I'm sure I'm not normally this bad! But anyway in short I know how you feel totally. Even if we just 'use what happens' I know we are trying as I always watch my cycle...

[teaandchocolate]

See what happens....
Sorry for all the typos am rushing as need to sort DD out!!

[butterfly86]

Oh tea sorry you got a bfn you are just in limbo aren't you it's shit :-( Literally everyone I know is pregnant or just had babies it's hard, I thought I have to be pregnant again before sil has her baby but now I just thought f**k it I'm not worrying about it anymore it's stressful enough, I'm sure when the baby arrives I'll find it hard but I'm trying not to think about it or I won't have the strentgh to keep going either I'll end up having a breakdown or something!
Keep strong, hope you feel a little better soon! X

[orangebowl]

Hi tea. I'm really sorry you're having a rubbish day and nothing is working out as you expected/ wanted it to. There isn't anything I can say... Think we've said it all before. Tomorrow will be a better day. Somehow we have to find a way of taking our lives off hold and doing all this while living at the same time. That's the hard bit. I know its not much comfort right now- but It will work out in the end. X

[TaytoCrisp]

Hello, i have been lurking a little bit - and haven't read everything, but i just wanted to send tea a hug this morning - that's just rubbish and disappointing. You need to be extra kind to yourself today...

Sorry for butting in, but i just felt sorry for teawhen i saw her message this morning..

[teaandchocolate]

Ah thanks guys you are so sweet and brought a little tear to my eye (not hard today!). Feel a bit better as been out in the snow with DH & DD and I just need to pull myself together and get through this don't I. Whilst still living my life. You are all so right. Don't want to waste DDs toddlerhood being a misery. Going to make the most of not being preg by drinking loads of normal tea, eating cake and having some wine tonight.

If I knew I was going to end up with another baby it would be much easier & I can't wait to be the one telling my good news story. Just scared how much I'll have to go through to get there. But onwards & upwards! Will try counting my blessings!

TaytoCrisp thank you for your post - you're not butting in at all!

youre all so fab & means so much that you know exactly how I feel. i appreciate you all letting me wallow in my own self pity for a bit! Xx

[teaandchocolate]

School I've just seen on your other thread that your scan was all good!! I'm so so pleased for you - was thinking about you and hoping it would be good news. Only a few weeks to go before you can really relax - how amazing!!

[orangebowl]

Literally just came on here to update you all! Thanks lots. Yes 10 weeks and 2 days so gained a day (good!) and heartbeat ok and was bouncig around! Feeling relaxed for tonight.. Hoping next 2 weeks go fast- will new you to hold my hand before then I am sure :)

[GuppieK]

Just popping on quickly to say congrats School! Really pleased everything is still going well. It's good that they're monitoring you so closely. Even though it still must be very nerve wracking it's good not to have to wait until 3 whole months to find out if things are okay.

Tea - how are you feeling now? Still no sign of AF? It's so frustrating isn't it, just stuck in limbo. I know what you mean about just wanting to know if you'll have a baby at the end of all this. If we knew we would, it'd all be worth it. We're also trying to buy a house at the moment and that is dragging on. This whole chapter of my life is feeling like a good lesson in how you can't control things and just have to go with the flow sometimes! Hope you're doing okay. I'm having to hit the gym hard a couple of times a week at the mo to help keep positive!

[teaandchocolate]

Hi Guppie! I'm doing ok thanks. I have to admit I wasn't great over the weekend or Monday. Then yesterday I had some acupuncture which really helped and I felt much perkier afterwards!! Still feel very sad & frustrated but managing not to cry all the time which is an improvement!

Still no AF though. Praying it comes before the end of the week so we can start again although if all of my cycles are this long I won't get pregnant for ages! I'm also trying to do exercise and eat healthily in the hope that it will sort my hormones out but not sure I've been committed enough! It's hard as all I want when I'm miserable is wine & cake!!

Anyway can you all do an AF dance for me - think I must have horrendous PMT what with all this moaning!!

[shallweshop]

Just found this thread and wanted to share my experience in the hope that it helps someone on here.

I didn't start ttc until I married at 35. I got pregnancy quite easily but over the course of a couple of years I had 3 early m/c's and one ectopic pregnancy (tube removed). I read Professor Lesley Regan's book 'Miscarriage - What Everyone Woman Needs to Know' and asked to be referred to her at her clinic in St Mary's, Paddington. She diagnosed me with antiphospholipid antibody syndrome (sticky blood)and said she would treat me with aspirin and heparin in next pregnancy. I should say at this point that it is extremely important for the blood test for this clotting disorder to be carried out in precisely the way Professor Regan recommends in her book. I had previously been tested for the condition but because the blood was not tested correctly, it went undiagnosed.

14 months after ectopic, I became pregnant again (39 years old) and immediately started aspirin (I had to take 150 mg daily but normal recommended dose is 75mg). I also asked my GP to prescribe progesterone pessaries which I used until I was 16 weeks. After my first scan at 7 weeks I started injecting heparin and I continued on this treatment until I was 36 weeks. At 40+5 DD appeared weighing a healthy 7lb 8oz.

2 years later and after following the same regime, my DS was born.

I really feel for you all on this huge rollercoaster of a journey. I really hope this post helps at least one of you and I wish you all the very best of luck.