Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

[teaandchocolate]

Thanks School and Butterfly. It's true it is like a rollercoaster. I felt vaguely excited when I thought I'd ovulated but I think I'm just subconsciously stressing to be honest as I try not to think about it and keep busy but I'm sleeping so badly & am so oversensitive that I think it must be ttc.

I can't bear what a long process this all is. Wish we just knew straight away whether the pregnancy will work!! I think ultimately the only way I'll feel content again is if I get a baby or if I become happy with the idea of just one child. Otherwise all I can see is this emotional rollercoaster with a general feeling of being on edge all the time!

Sorry if I sound miserable, I'm really not that bad just feel a constant low level anxiety which has sort of been around since my 2nd mc! Anyone know what I mean? It's like my brain is on overdrive!!

[ArkadyRose]

Hello ladies, just coming to join you after MC no.4. I had to have an ERPC on Wednesday when it all went wrong at my 12-week scan (I guess if you're going to have an MC, the EPAU is probably the best place for it to happen), and we're starting on all the testing - it was only my second recurrent MC, but I'm 40 and there's a family history of recurrent MC (my mother had 10 MC before she had me, and my youngest sister has had 8; my DD1 has had a MC too so we think there's something genetic going on).

I was wondering, how long after ERPC/D&C do you usually have to wait before doing the tests for karotyping? We're going to leave at least 2 cycles before TTC again. I do have children already so I know I can have kids - I just seem to be having real problems giving DD3 a little sibling.

[IRCL]

Can I join? I am 22 DP is 26.

1st MC with DP was in Jan 2012 early one at 6 weeks. Second was in April, that one was a MMC, should of been 11 weeks little one only measured 8+3 and the last one was in July/Aug at 6 weeks, heartbeat was seen but EPU nurse said it was rather on the slow side. (God that seems a long time ago!) Been trying ever since!

Went to the GP who ordered a load of blood tests which all came back normal, referred to the local gynae at the hospital, appointment on the 30th Jan! Any idea what will happen?

Sorry to hear abut everyone's stories, it really is shit. :(

[teaandchocolate]

Hi ArkadyRose and IRCL and welcome to the group! So sorry that you've found yourself here. Yes it's just shit really! But everyone here is really lovely so hopefully you'll get lots of support.

ArkadyRose you can test for karyotyping at any time as it checks your chromosomes which don't change. It's only the clotting tests which can be affected by pregnancy hormones. I made them take our bloods for clotting when I was at the hospital having a scan to confirm my mc as the results take a while to come back, so its worth getting them done ASAP.

IRCL so sorry to hear about your losses. It is so hard especially if you don't have dc already. Hope you're doing ok. I didn't have an official appointment with a rmc clinic as I've seen different consultants privately and on the nhs. However the nhs will usually do karyotyping tests on you and dp which is when they check your chromosomes for problems that can be passed on. They also do thrombophilia tests which check for clotting disorders that cause mc. So for these they will just take lots of blood. They will also take your history and maybe do a scan. Although someone else might be able to help more with this? There is guidance from the rcog which was linked to further up the thread I think and sets out the recommended tests for rmc. Also I found Prof Lesley Regans book on mc really helpful to refer to.

[teaandchocolate]

here is the link to that guidance

[orangebowl]

Hi all,
sorry ive been not around for a while. i'm working from home today as have my scan later for what should be 8 weeks so i can go on mumsnet without people seeing my screen for once!

Arkady and IRCL welcome and sorry you find yourselves here. again tea has answered your questions nicely and i cant add much- but this is a good place to come and chat when that emotional rollercoaster takes a dip.

So I am v. nervous yet again about my scan. Of the 4 previous miscarriages for 2 of them we have seen a heartbeat which has stopped - one at at 8.5 and 9.5 weeks..

i hate these few weeks!

[teaandchocolate]

Good luck with your scan School! Will be thinking of you. Keep us posted please!

[orangebowl]

All fine! Measuring 8+1 as expected. Now just the next few weeks to get through (heart always stopped beating between 8 and 10 weeks before)

[teaandchocolate]

Yey that's fab news! It will be stressful over tbe next couple of weeks im sure but not long to go. I so hope it works out for you!

[butterfly86]

That's great news school! Not long to wait I know it will seem like an eternity for you though! Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Tea how are you? X

[ArkadyRose]

OH is quite heavily involved with Wikipedia and the Wikimedia Foundation, and this morning we got a condolences card signed by everyone in the WMF office. It had me in floods of tears. I was mostly OK up until now until I read all the messages, and then that was it - waterworks in full go.

And a friend who had deleted her FB account suddenly reappeared today, announcing she was having a homebirth and was probably in labour - and proceeded to post a blow-by-blow of every single twinge and speculation as to whether she's actually in labour or not. I just had to take her off my feed, because I really couldn't handle that right now.

[butterfly86]

Arkady sorry you are having a bad day :-( it's hard when you are feeling so fragile anything can set you off crying can't it, sometimes does you good though. That was lovely of them to send you a card, my aunt who had a baby die shortly after birth sent me a beautiful card and wrote some lovely words she said in there "the days will brighten again" and it's true it lessens a little with time.
I had to hide my sil from my news feed as couldn't cope with the constant updates we found out she was pg and the next day found out our baby had no hb, she is also the most insensitive person I know she loves to rub it in my face. You do what you need to to protect yourself it's sometimes just to tough to smile and be happy for others you need to greive. I hope it gets a little easier for you soon x

[teaandchocolate]

Hi everyone.
Butterfly thank you for asking after me. I'm doing ok although I am feeling a bit stressed! I don't think I can test until the weekend but already symptom spotting and convinced I feel sick! But that might just be from worrying! God knows what I'll be like if I actually get a bfp!

ArkadyRose hope you're ok today. It's so hard when you have bad days - I still have plenty and last mc was 6 months ago! Facebook is so depressing and I keep debating whether to leave but to be honest there are enough reminders in normal life not sure it would make a difference. Nearly all of my closest friends are heavily pregnant and although they are very sensitive towards me its still really sad and I dread seeing them.

How's everyone else doing today?

[butterfly86]

Sorry you are feeling a bit stressed tea the 2ww is a bitch...in fact the whole month is a bitch you spend a week gutted your period arrived then wait what seems like ages to ovulatate and then 2ww again it's just just a vicious circle off stress! Hopefully you will find out either way soon, keep us posted. X

[teaandchocolate]

I so know what you mean! I'm in a constant tizz worrying about not being pregnant, whether I've ovulated, whether we dtd enough, whether I might be pregnant and have another mc...argh! Just wish I could go to sleep and wake up with a newborn!! x

[orangebowl]

Just checking in to say I get it too.. Going to sleep and waking up in labour.. Bliss! and in the meantime we are wishing our lives away.. Not good. X

[teaandchocolate]

School you're so right I really shouldn't wish time away. I know I've really got to enjoy every second with DD as she's growing so fast and I don't want to look back at the past year and just think of being miserable. Feel quite guilty about that actually....one more thing to worry about!!

[orangebowl]

If you're a nutter then so am I! Am particularly wishing away the next 3 weeks ( around now is when the babies heartbeats usually stop so am extra nervous)

[GuppieK]

teaandchocolate - I'm in exactly the same position as you at the moment I think. On day 25 of cycle today and tested this morning (cycle was 25 days last month but has been up to 33 days since last miscarriage... used to be like clockwork so v annoying!) and got a BFN. I've had days when I'm convinced I'm feeling sick or have a weird stitch-like pain that could mean something.

I feel like I don't really know my body as well since my mcs. Like I said, I used to be very regular, I could tell when I was ovulating, period pains lasted 24hrs and that was it. Nowadays I get period-like pains on and off throughout the month and have no idea when I'm ovulating or when my period will come. We've been DTD every other day pretty much throughout my cycle so think it's all we can do really. Good luck for when you test at the weekend. x

[teaandchocolate]

I really hope it works for you this time School!

[orangebowl]

Guppie it's true that miscarriages throw our bodies out weirdly. My consultant said something which made me think.. He said "stop thinking of your body like a machine, it's not a machine that works like clockwork.. Although its frustrating give your body time and its amazing how it will re- adjust". Really made me think.. I'd been counting days and spotting signs etc but my poor body has been trough so much that there is no wonder it was knocked out of its regular pattern.

I know it sucks.. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks tea. Me too (that's for me and for you ) .

[teaandchocolate]

Guppie sorry I think our posts crossed!

I'm on day 31! Think we're sort of opposite in that my cycles were always mental because of my pcos but they're actually generally shorter now & I know when I ovulate because of ewcm. They're still always over 32 days though. Never had a 28 day cycle in my life!

Although saying that, this month I had ewcm on day 20 which is pretty standard for me but then had it again a few days ago!

So im not sure what's going on but we only dtd around the 1st possible ovulation date. We were a bit half hearted about it to be honest & im not sure we did it enough! But I always get pregnant far too easily so am a bit blasé about the actual conception bit I think! It's the next few weeks that freak me out!

Anyway thanks for the good luck. I will keep you informed! So tempted to test tomorrow but feel should probably wait til Sunday as its 14 days after my probable ovulation date and when my period would normally come. Still feeling a bit queasy and have crampy pains so could go either way. Guppie I also get crampy 'feelings' all through my cycle. Do you think it's because we are now so much more aware obsessed with what's going on inside our bodies these days?

[GuppieK]

Thanks Schooldilemas - those are wise words I think! It's funny that you take your cycles for granted I guess, especially if they've always been pretty predictable. But yes, it is a lot for your body to go through.

teaandchocolate, that's interesting you feel like you get more crampy feelings now too. I definitely think it could be because we're much more tuned into what's going on now... every little crampy feeling I wonder if it's ovulation or implantation or something..! They found I had a couple of small fibroids when they were doing my testing too, so I wonder if it could very coincidentally also be that they're suddenly causing a bit more pain.

Haven't totally lost hope for this month as I could be on a longer cycle and tested too early. But since I'm bursting into tears about everything today (on such a pretty snowy day AND I'm getting to work from home) I'm pretty sure I'm pre-menstrual!

[teaandchocolate]

I just tested and it was negative :( used a first response so don't think it's too early. Although I do think maybe my cycle was weird & I didn't ovulate when I thought I did. Guess I'll find out when AF comes. Feel a bit frustrated that its going to take even longer but also relieved in a weird way as I do hate early pregnancy. Actually I am a bit sad its not happened as I was convincing myself I was pregnant.

GuppieK when are you testing again?

[orangebowl]

Hi tea. Sorry . Sorry if you have said before but when is AF due? on this cycle where I got pregnant I used first responses for what I thought was 3 days early (negative). 2 days early (negative ) ,1day early (negative). It wasn't until day period due I got faintest positive. Then the clearblue digis went up as expected...