Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

[GuppieK]

shallweshop I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story. I'm 35 years old too, although have been trying for about 18mths now and had 3 mcs. It's good to hear about the happy endings after all of the perseverance and sadness.

Also, on a slightly unrelated topic, I was reading an interview with the (rather hot) lead singer of the band Biffy Clyro at the weekend and he was talking about his sadness about his wife having 3 miscarriages. I thought it was a brave thing to talk about. I appreciate people being open about these things nowadays as I think it's good for people to know it's not always straightforward.

[teaandchocolate]

Hi shallweshop. Thanks for your story. It's lovely to hear positive outcomes. I have had all the thrombophilia tests but they came back negative and after reading Lesley Reagans book I was quite worried they'd done them wrong. Although my situation is a bit different in that I have one DD with no problems in pregnancy & once of my mc had a chromosomal abnormality. Although if I have another one I might go somewhere more specialist for tests.

Guppie I totally agree that it helps when people are open about these things as for some reason there is a massive stigma surrounding miscarriage as if its more unpalatable than infertility. I probably don't help as I don't like to tell people. But it makes me feel much less of a freak knowing others have been through similar experiences. That's why this forum is so great.

[orangebowl]

Shallwe thanks for your story. And sorry for your losses. your history is similar to mine (apart from I had DS first) and so hearing how well the heparin and aspirin worked for you has given me a boost.

Thanks guppie and tea as always. Now you might think I am bonkers but I am convinced I felt movement today. Is that even possible at 10+5? I don't think it is but I'm sure I felt movement!

Tea I'm glad you can talk on here if not in real life. I tend to tell quite a lot of people, more for practicality reasons at the time than anything else but it's such a personal thing that we all deal with so differently.

Xx

[shallweshop]

Phew, thanks girls. I was really worried after I posted in case it wasn't approrpiate. Miscarriage is such an emotive, sensitive subject and I know damn well that you don't always want to hear people's happy endings because you just want yours!

Guppie - you are right, it is brave to open up and talk about it. I have found that, once you do, it is remarkable just how many people experience fertility problems.

Tea & Chocolate - the main thing with the blood test is that it should be done asap on the freshly drawn blood which has been obtained without using a cuff. When I had my initial testing done at a local hospital they used a cuff and then sent it off later that day to be tested the following! When I had it done at St Mary's, my blood was taken and immediately rushed next door to the lab.

School - wishing you a very healthy pregnancy.

I truly know what it feels like and I wish you all your own happy endings.

[teaandchocolate]

School I didn't think it was possible to feel movement so early but then I'm hardly the pregnancy guru as only done it properly once!! I definitely always feel lots going on inside especially as I'm now so sensitive to it all these day. Either way its just so exiting you're so far on now. I'm not going to get too carried away but 10+5 sounds pretty good!

Shallweshop I told the girl who took the blood that it needed to be tested quickly (I'm such a difficult patient!) and she said it would be but to be honest I wasn't convinced. She used a cuff to start with but I think took it off once the blood was flowing (argh can't remember!). Although it is a huge teaching hospital so you'd have thought they'd know what they're doing.

A question I have though is if I did have clotting issues how did I manage to have DD with no help? School has anyone explained that to you? I also think that the reason no-one I've seen has been hugely interested in pursuing a cause is because one of the pregnancies tested positive for triploidy so it means consultants think well it must just be bad luck then...I guess only time will tell.

[butterfly86]

School- fantastic news about your scan I'm so pleased it's going well for you!

I'm worried about the thrombophilia results now my blood was taken with a cuff on and the nurse said it had to go to scotland for the tests so god knows how long it was before it was tested! I'm going. to ask my consultant about it when I see her in a few weeks.

[orangebowl]

Tea. Yes they explained it. Apparently it's fairly common for blood disorders (and actually autoimmune disorders in general) to just appear in women in their early 30's. they dont know why. I had DS at 29 so that fits.

Thanks butterfly. I'm just holding my breath for potential last stretch (crosses fingers). You could always ask for your blood clotting tests to be done again? Mine came back as ok at my local hospital. Only when I got tested at Liverpool womens they found it. X

[orangebowl]

Ps. Yeah I think not must be wind really tea ( but its nice to imagine!)

[teaandchocolate]

Thanks School that's interesting. Although I was 29 for 1st mc and 30 when I had DD!! Who knows...! Out of interest - did you have any other symptoms/issues normally associated with these disorders? I'm always trying to self diagnose but just can't figure it out this time...

[orangebowl]

No no symptoms at all.

You've had 2 m/cs right tea? I know it's annoying when people say these things when you just want answers ... But If one had chromosomal abnormalities it really is most likely to be "bad luck" (hate the term-sorry for using it, I mean down to chance). 2 good friends of mine with 2 consecutive miscarriages followed by healthy babies no intervention. I hope you are like them. X

[teaandchocolate]

Thanks School. I've actually had 3 mc - 1 before DD, 1 after with triploidy and then one after that. I hope you're right though. I keep telling myself next time will work and there are lots of stories of women having lots of mc and lot of babies! Hopefully I can handle whatever happens.

[orangebowl]

Grrr stupid miscarriages! (There's my productive comment of the night )

[twentythirteen]

Oh dear, I just came across this thread and was reading along thinking how helpful you are to each other and what a useful thread... And then saw a post of my own!!! I just totally lost this thread asking the way! May I re join?!!

[orangebowl]

Hi twenty waves! Of course you can rejoin. Welcome

[teaandchocolate]

Hi twentythirteen! How are you doing? Welcome back!

School I also have nothing else useful to say and so am going to sleep! Night everyone x

[twentythirteen]

Thanks School and Tea, it was very much a "doh!" kind of moment when I realised I'd already found the thread previosuly!

I'm well thanks, we've started ttc again but only on my second AF post 3rd mc. I recieved a letter a few days back saying the results of our blood tests are in and gave us a date to meet with the consultant but it's not for another 3 weeks. I've felt quite depressed for the last few days thinking it will never happen, I'm old, gained too much weight from the pregnancies, looking like crap... My friend who is pregnant just two weeks ahead of where I was with this last one is about 26 weeks now, is showing and is uncomfortable at night and I'm painfully, terribly jealous, I can barely stand to be around her and yet I love her dearly. I'd have a 3 month old now if all had gone to plan with the first pregnancy, it's potentially soul destroying stuff.

I'll have to start getting to know you all again, but in the meantime congratulations School! Sorry about your bfn Tea, it sounds like it was particularly gutting.

Ladies, what wisdom do we have on here re these consultant appointments, what can I expect? Is it possible they'll say we've got some genetic thingy wrong that means we cannot have children???

[teaandchocolate]

What blood tests did you have? I think that most of the problems they find are treatable. The exceptions are some chromosomal abnormalities but even then there's just a percentage chance of mc I think. To be honest most of my (limited) knowledge comes from Lesley Regans miscarriage book so might be worth getting a copy (I got mine 2nd hand on amazon). It will feel like an age but try not to pre-empt what the consultant will say. I'm forever diagnosing myself and am usually wrong!

I've seen a few consultants but none at a specific nhs rmc clinic so not exactly sure what they will do. However I had all the nhs will offer in terms of tests - thrombophilia, karyotyping, full blood count, thyroid function (& some other general thing like iron I think). I've also had scans including a 3D saline one but that wasn't nhs although they offer similar procedures if they think there's a physical problem.

Not sure if any of that helps but I think it highly unlikely they will find a genetic issue that means you can't have children.

I completely know what you mean about finding it hard to see friends. I'm finding it awful at the moment. 3 of my best friends are due when I would have been if not for my 3rd mc. And I don't know anyone who's got a child the same age or older than DD who is not either pregnant or with a baby. It's so hard I completely sympathise!

I'm also trying to be super healthy to get my sodding AF to turn up but failing miserably as all I want to do is eat rubbish and drink wine as I'm getting so frustrated with it!!

[LandsN]

Hi all I have had 3 mc's last one being 19/12/12 at 9 weeks the hospital told me I would have to fall pregnant again before any tests could be done but now feel like I am being fobbed off!! We are ttc again fingers crossed it happen this month should have ovulated on the 29/1. I am just so scared it will happen again I have two aged 11 and 8 so know I can do it which makes it very frustrating :( it is a big comfort to know I am not the only person going through this and u all understand what I am going through I am sorry to read what u have been through and fingers crossed u all get happy endings xxx

[twentythirteen]

Tea, when I had wayward cycles I took a complex b vit and it straightened out everything including ovulation. Have you taken it? I actually took a few vitamins that were all for promoting a healthy cycle but I think that was the strongest one. What CD are you now?

And your situation sounds much more difficult, I only have one good friend and one not so close friend who are pg. I have another who is preparing for ttc and I finally let her know to stop including me in her tcc plans and she was great about it. But I don't know what to say to pg friends, I just grin and bear it and feel shaky and upset for ages after.

Although I have been being healthy I did have about a bottle and a half of wine last week, I have become quite a light weight and it's taken days to recover! Feel rough and guilty now. How does everyone here manage with your friends and emotions? I've taken up cooking after work and am reading most nights before bed to take my mind off it and do something worthwhile instead.

How embarrassing, I don't know what cloud tarts (auto correct!) Blood tests i've had, but what you mentioned sounds familiar, and also they have tested oh now to. Thanks for the reassurance. I'll have a think about the book but I feel pretty angry still and cannot fathom owning a book about something that has caused me so much upset. With the last mc I actually went into for what they said was very like labour for 8 hours without pain relief.

Hi LandsN! In sorry about your mcs and the information you were given. You had your third mc in the hospital and they still did not do any tests?? That does seem like a harsh waste of opportunity. Do you have a good Gp? Are you tcc yet?

[LandsN]

Hi I was at home when I passed everything but had been for a scan which was when they told me the heartbeat had stopped and they could fit me in for surgery on Xmas eve but if I passed in the meantime to put it in a pot and take it in :( well emotionally I couldn't do this and tbh I couldn't tell either! My doctor is a bit like a wet weekend but is brilliant with my kids and yes ttc already this will b my last try I can't go through it anymore x

[twentythirteen]

That's awful LandsN. I was also told to bring it in if it happened at home and I was worried about the logisitics of it. Being new to the system I don't have any advice to offer but really whish I could as it does seem unfair. When did you actually mc in the end? I once mc'd on mother's day, that seemed cruel but at the time I was too preoccupied with the event of it to realise that. I know there's never going to be a good time but Christmas eve is equally unkind timing.

[LandsN]

That's where it gets better I had the scan on 19/12 and miscarried on 20/12 which is my birthday:( will not be quite the same again I am just so nervous cos we are ttc again and so scared as I am none the wiser as to why it keeps happening especially after 2 healthy babies the only difference I can think of is that I was taking vitamins when I fell with my 2 so have started taking them to see if its just a coincidence or if there is a link?? Never know fingers crossed xx

[teaandchocolate]

Hi LandsN really sorry to hear about what you've been through. I don't understand why the hospital said you have to be pregnant again before they can do tests. Do you know what tests they were talking about? AFAIK the main tests the NHS will do after 3 mc are thrombophilia and karyotyping. Karyotyping can be done at any time as it tests yours & your DH's chromosomes. But thrombophilia tests must be done when the pregnancy hormones are totally out of your system so hospitals seem to say 8 - 12 weeks. So I don't understand why they want you to be pregnant again. The only test I've heard of them doing when you're pregnant is by St Mary's in London and is when all tests are clear but there still might be a blood clotting issue during pregnancy. I would call them up and find out if you're concerned. Although ttc again is also a valid option to be honest as it seems the tests can often be wrong/inconclusive. I've had quite a few and all negative and now I kind of wish I'd just kept ttc as I could be pregnant now!!

Twentythirteen I'm now on day 43 and no sign of AF except brown spotting (sorry if tmi) which is usually just a sign that my hormones are all over the place. I already take a million vitamins although not a separate b complex so I could look into it. Just so fed up now and really wishing I'd ttc last cycle as in retrospect it was a good one (only 32 days!). You're lucky you don't know that many pregnant people - maybe I have a particularly fertile group of friends and acquaintances! Sick of buying new baby presents and holding newborns! My friends 3 yo even asked if I also had a baby sister in my tummy the other day :( obviously need to stop eating cake....

[LandsN]

Thank you I will ask my gp to sort this have had more help from here than him ATM at least I can sound like I know what I am talking about now xx

[twentythirteen]

Good luck with your gp LandsN. That's awful timing for a mc.

Goodness Tea, I'm presuming this is a familiar state of play for you, such long cycles? Poor you. What dpo are you, or has the brown spotting since materialised into something more?

And yes, I think being older means that most of my same age and older friends have already set up their families and I don't mind so much about the pregnancies of people I don't know so well as I don't have to engage with the conversation, I can just smile as if I'm pleased and run off! It's mostly my good friend and my OH's friend. Oh, I forgot another of OH's close friends... oh dear, perhaps I'm in denial!

I should be gearing up for ovulation here but have minimal signs...