Holy mother of CRAP..this was defo NOT part of my plans...what the jeff do i do??

[nosleepwithworry]

I had my 7th mcs about 9 weeks ago (i think, i didnt write any dates down, have little memory of about 2 weeks during the time, due to the drugs i was pumped with)
In short, i dont know when it occurred.

Ive sought councelling because i have never talked about my mcs ever, to any one.(well, only to you lot )
Additionally, i am coming up 42, and thught that that was IT the end, no more, even went and got the pill.

Patiently waiting for my period so that i could start taking the damned thing.
No af as yet.
Feeling much better in myself, councelling really really helping, im on a healthy eating mission (thanks to myfitnesspal) doing really well.

Accepting everything, although the grief has been overwhelming at times .

So af still not here, so bought a cheepy test, thought that all pregnancy hrmones will now be gone...this far after mc....almost immediately a pink line came up.

We dtd only a couple of times..it normally took me up to 22 months to concieve so this has floored me...completely and totally. Do not know what the jeff i should do?????????
All calming words of wisdom very much appreciated....i know i know, theres no fool like an old fool..

Just read this thread and want to wish you a massive congrats, what a wonderful thing. Long may the sickness, sore boobs and Nanna naps continue

Aww wow, this thread made me shed a wee tear! Amazing!
Another one lying on the floor with everything crossed for you :)
I won't move for another 32 weeks I tell ya!

Keep peeking at the thread.

I am willing you to keep on feeling queasy .

Love this thread!
Mmm, toasted tea cakes, yum. Any other cravings, nosleep?

Thanks every one! So happy that you are all behnd me xxx
Scan tomorrow, lets see what that brings...fingers crossed its all good.

Craving Yorkshire puddings and gravy, which is lovely because i craved ice cubes oddly when expecting my ds...ice cubes! Whats the point in that?

Got all tearful like a twat at sportsday when ds came 2nd in the sack race then had mega nana nap for 2.5 hours, then had to go to bed at 8 as i couldn't keep my eyes open!
lazy arse.

Ive just started a masters degree and as soon as i start my research my eyes become welded shut..thats no good is it!?

One day at a time, one day at a time....

tearful and knackered is GOOD! i could sleep for england in those first few weeks, its amazing such a tiny thing can make you so tired!

good luck for the scan tomorrow, will have everything crossed for you, you will be 9wks then?

i craved ice cubes as well, along with raw carrot and celery! they do funny things to us these babies.

xxx

nosleep I will be checking my threads tomorrow dying to hear how your scan goes. Fingers crossed for you.

Everything still crossed for you here, good luck for the scan tomorrow

Definitely behind you, every step of the way!
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed. Are you being monitored with blood tests for hormones, vitamins etc too? I want them to look after you as well as possible at the hospital
You only can do your best with the Master's. You might find it easier to concentrate a bit further along. As you say, one day at a time.
Good luck for tomorrow.

Keep peeking at this thread, everything crossed for you, hope it goes well tomorrow xx

Thanks Whatdreams will chip away at masters.

I am not being monitored at all other than regular scans. There isnt anything else that they can offer tbh.

Blood tests are not helpful and so i dont have them.

Im having a wobble tonight, feeling very anxious about scan tomorrow, feeling very doom & gloom.
Panic about how i will cope if its bad news.
I kind of, well, assume it will be bad news, presume that it will be the same story as always.

Talking myself into practical mode..book D&C, see if they do them on a Saturday, that way i wont miss any work this week and can go to work on Tuesday, no one will need to know because i feel ashamed that i have let this happen again.
Every one told me "enough now" after my last mc, i agreed, told them all i had the pill.
Im embarrased that im nearly 42 and have let this happen again after so much upset and distress and pain and disruption after the last mc.

DH is sat there happy as anything because ive told him i feel like death today..which i do, he is blissfully ignorant to my anxieties and that this is likely to be just like all the others. I dont want to take away his happiness again, like i do everytime i loose his baby.

Hope all goes well tomorrow, I can't imagine how worried you are

nosleep I think you're being hard on yourself about 'letting this happen' - you didn't expect it, it is just chance.

I think it is to be expected to be so very anxious, how could you be anything else?

But don't be hard on yourself for also having some hope, it's natural.

Take care and I will be thinking of you tomorrow x

Thinking of you tomorrow nosleep. None of this is your fault- you know that right? Your latest post made me :( because you seem to be beating up on yourself a lot. Loads of hugs for you xxx

Be kind to yourself: you've been through a lot. Your anxieties are entirely normal given your history.

I also think those of us who have had miscarriages have a wee bit of defence mechanism going on (understandably) - we think the worst before scans, planning for the worst scenario.

I really hope everything goes well tomorrow xxxx

It's very natural to feel worried after your experiences however last time everything you saw on the scan was good so there is a high probability that it will good news again, plus there are very positive signs - the sore boobs, the sickness, new cravings and the now legendary nana naps! You are allowed to have hope! We all have it for you.
Optimism rules the day!

You and your baby will be fine. I'm sure of it. I truly believe all will be well with this sticky little fighter of a bean. Think positive thoughts my darling.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

congratulations.
i really hope everythng goes well tomorrow.

Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow...
Lots of people on here will be thinking of you!

You mustn't carry all the worry yourself though, you must share it with your DH. Please don't blame yourself for what has happened in the past.

Hope tomorrow goes well.

Another delurker wishing you the best for tomorrow xx

Best of luck for tomorrow. I've had 4 mc so have an inkling of what your going through. Fingers crossed all the way.

I've got everything crossed for you too. I hope everything goes well for you at the scan tomorrow, I'll be checking for updates and thinking of you.
Do share your anxieties with your dh, he may be having the exact same thoughts and trying not to worry you about it. None of what has happened to you has been your fault so please don't blame yourself for any of it.
Good luck xx

Try not to over-think things before they actually happen - I know, easy for me to say.

What will be will be (but you know that). Having said that, I really hope it is nothing but good news tomorrow.