had a miscarriage? waiting to get back to normal to TTC? come join us..

[tedmundo]

There are so many of us in that we deserve a thread....

MC and waiting to get the cycle back to normal before TTC....

Come here to share the stories of never ending bleeding, praying for BFN's and the return of the lovely AF in all her glory!

It is so sad reading all our terrible stories here, but I am finding it comforting knowing that you are all feeling the same things as me. I went back to work and it was hard, I struggled with my classes and noone said anything about the MC or a welcome back. It upset me and I cried on the way home. I thought I was totally ready to go back after 2 weeks. At least it's the easter holidays now so I have another 2 weeks to get stronger.

I got BFP in the week, but the bleeding has stopped now so we've started TTC. I started my fertility monitor up and will start testing for ov next week. Started back on my metformin and it's upset my tummy so I've got to build it up slowly again and this will take a few weeks, with no chance of ov until then. I just want to be back to normal.

Going running has really helped though, so I'd recommend getting outside and doing some exercise to help feel good again (and I am not the fittest person in the world).

I FINALLY got my bfn last night! I got a little drunk after reading the stick. It was a complex mixture of being glad to be able to call it a past rather than a current experience, being relieved as today was the deadline to doc gave me for having to go back for help from them to finish the MC, but also sad to hope for a bfn and for that to really be the last of the babyness out of my system.

I go back on Monday and have really been considerig just telling everyone why I was away. I think they've been told I was ill, which annoys me as I don't want to hav to fake having been ill - everyone knows when it's being faked. And there's also a lot of stress leave where I work but I haven't taken it and I don't want people to think I've just been stressed as I work in a rough environment and some people would be unplesant about that. My plan was going to be to tell everyone I had a berevement, but I'm feeling quite militant now and am thinking I will just say I had a MC. I imagine if I can say it and keep moving then I won't be putting them in the position of haing to come up with a response.

Anyway, woohoo my bfn, roll on ovulation and try number 2 (when the freakin bleeding stops - honestly).

OMG Tedmundo - I could have written exactly what you said about discussions regarding number 3 and also the timing of the due date. We had the will we wont we conversations for over a year and then at Hogmanay decided to go for it and got lucky straight away. Seems all so silly and superficial now.

Wrigle - I was open with people in my work for similar reasons to yourself and everyone has been great. For me it was easier just to be honest.

Hi, it's early days in my miscarriage journey but I'm trying to arm myself with all the facts about what happened and if it will happen again etc. I have just had a blighted ovum and a natural miscarriage at 7 weeks. My first pregnancy was great and I have a beautiful 17 month old. I have a few questions. Do any of you lovely ladies have any answers??

I'm frightened of miscarrying again and wanted to find out the possibility of this after a successful first pregnancy and one miscarriage?

Next time round should I do anything differently? (I thought I'd done it all 'right' this time - vits, no booze, coffee etc)

Do I need to see my GP and have any tests (for infection etc) before TTC?

Also how long do I need to wait before TTC? After a natural miscarriage does my body need time to heal? Would it be better to wait until after a period? (thicker lining etc) or just until -ve pregnancy test? I can't find a conclusive answer.....

I'm not planning ttc yet but want as much information as possible.

Thank you in advance
XxX

Hi cakeplease. I had a blighted ovum too. As far as I can fathom, it could be caused by the egg not being good a good quality one, but it could be because of a chromosomal defect too. It's one of those things and apparently quite unusual to get a blighted ovum twice, and the chance of miscarriage after having one is the same as if you had never had one. You did everything right, don't blame yourself in anyway.

As for TTC i was told not to have sex until the bleeding had stopped to help prevent an infection. So we started TTC as soon as my bleeding stopped, I expect I won't ovulate for ages (PCOS) anyway and just wanted something positive to focus on.

I'm sorry for your loss

Hi Cakeplease, I was told the same as HettyTurner - that if your miscarriage was complete and you've not got any signs of infection (pain, smelly discharge) then there's no need to get the all clear from your doctor. I was told that we could start trying as soon as the bleeding stopped, which we did. I fell pregnant that cycle but then mc again. I understand, from my midwife that we were just really unlucky and that many people who conceive before their 1st AF after MC have a successful pregnancy. Good luck with ttc again.

We've decided to just try again this cycle. My bleeding has stopped and so, for me, it was just like a slightly longer period and the hormones are already out my system (last time it took 2 weeks!), so I'm hoping that everything is more or less back to normal now - fingers crossed for us all!

Hi everyone,

Hope you all had a good weekend? Well its now 4 weeks after my mmc was discovered at my 12 week scan and 2 weeks after my ERPC. I tried POAS this morning hoping for a BFN but no such luck, still positive for now :( Was really hoping for it to be negative to help me continue to feel like i'm moving on through the process and getting closer to being able to ttc again. Congratulations on your BFN wrigle!

Sorry to hear of your experience fizzycola -fx for you that it was 'just' bad luck.

I think the BFP kicked me even harder because today would have been my 16 week mw appointment if things had continued :(

Littlespade, sorry for the unwelcome anniversaries. They are hard. And two weeks and still no BFN? It took me that long but I'd come to think of ERPC's as quicker. "Hope" you get your BFN soon, it did help me to think of it as a past rather than current experience.

Fizzy, when you tried again straight after the bleeding stopped when do you think you ovulated? I've never had more than a ping when I've ovulated in the past but I'm having a major "hello, these are your ovaries calling" version today, and am wondering if I'm ovulating, but I only stopped bleeding yesterday so am worried that if I concieved now there wouldn't be much a womb to move into. Does anyone know? If it's approximately two weeks from the start of bleeding to ovulation then is the 2nd week rebuilding a womb? I'm so anxious to become pregnant again but partner is reluctant to try during the WTF period.

Also Fizzy, I was honest with those who asked about my absence and it was fine, I was prepared from reading about previous MNers experience for the "aw, well it is really common" comments and only got one so considered it a good day back. Weird though that last time I was there I thought I was still pregnant. Kindly I had a meeting wiht my lovely manager who said, the important thing regarding my work responsibilites was that the focus was on me getting pregnant so at least I'll go into this next time with support.

Hetty, I presume you mean you got your BFN (and not a BFP - although many congratulations if that's the case!) in the week?

And I have just managed to bold people's names for the first time!!!

Morning all. I had my first day back at work yesterday. I told a couple of people what happened and they were very sympathetic and told me about their experiences too. I can't believe how often this happens. I have also just done another test - there was the slightest, palest line and I'm not sure whether to count it as a BFP or not. It is one of the cheap ones from Amazon. I might buy a pack of digital ones to do in a couple of days to confirm.

I also stopped bleeding for a day on Saturday which was great but unfortunately it came back on Sunday. When will it end...

LittleSpade Are your BFPs getting paler? I'm taking it as a good sign if mine do and that everything is getting back to normal.

HeeHee I used a digital clearblue one as that's what I already had a pack of at home. It said positive 1-2 weeks. This implies my hormone levels have dropped slightly since the ERPC has in the earlier stages of my pregnancy before we found out about the mmc i had a test that said positive 3-4 weeks. Still find it frustrtating that 2 weeks after the op its still positive when like wrigle i had thought it would speed up the process and bring a conclusion to the experience quicker than waiting longer for things to happen naturally. Will test again in a week or two - if i leave it two weeks i'm hoping that af will be nearly due / have turned up.

Have been back at work for a few days now. One of my colleagues is seven months pregnant and obviously a little embarrassed. We've gone from comparing pregnancy symptoms to avoiding the subject altogether. I'd say with a little time things will go back to normal. still bleeding 2 weeks on (2 weeks since beginning of miscarriage, 12 days since erpc) just am fed up with it. Can't wait for my body back to normal and not have a constant physical reminder. I can't seem to find what a "normal" amount of time for the bleeding to go on is.

Hi Wrigle, the midwife thinks I ovulated approx 2.5 weeks after my mc. She based this on the date that I got my first positive hpt after having confirmed that the levels from the 1st mc had gone back to zero. This corresponds to the signs I was getting at the time - EWCM etc. I bled really heavily for 2 weeks and then it just stopped as suddenly as it started, and EWCM kicked in as well as ov pains.

I have no idea if a thin lining is what actually caused the second mc but my midwife thinks it might be. Bleeding from that one has now stopped and think we are going to try again so it hasn't put me off. I'm hoping that as the bleeding only lasted a week this time that if we're lucky to conceive that my lining will be thicker... but I could just be spouting rubbish! Anyone who knows more about this please let us know!!

Not having a good day today. At work but have been feeling quite tearful. My manager has noticed I'm not myself as she asked my colleague if I'm ok. Not good...

HeeHee, I think your MC started before mine, I was so frustrated how long mine took to finish, so I can't imagine how frustrated you must be. My hpt's went from two strong lines at the end of the first week, to feint lines last week, and like you I took that progression as a good sign. I also had a day where I thought my bleeding was coming to an end and then it returned and I had a little more cramping. But that has finally finished (I think? I hope!?).

Fizzy, I'm still learning so much through this process. I'm shocked that we can ovulate moments after bleeding has finished. If I normally have a week plus betwen the end of my period and ovulation, then ovulating the first day I have clear of bleeding seems bizarre. I'm wondering if the pangs I'm getting are something else as I'm gettig it on alternate sides for 24 hours now. I'm watching the ovulation sticks but I don't trust them!

Sorry for everyone who is back at work and struggling. What we're struggling with now is so far from what we had hoped to be experiencing at this point.

wrigle Our experiences sound quite similar. I will take comfort in the fact that you have had a BFN and hope to get one in the next few days. I bought some digital tests at lunch time so I can be a but more sure. I'm not totally convinced by the cheapies as the line is so faint im wondering if it really is a line or just a mark because thats where the detection line is (wishful thinking). I'm going to do another on Thursday I think.
I think I may have ovulated too as I got the weird pain I often get around that time. Can't do anything with it though as I'm still bleeding. This is so frustrating!
fizzycolabuba How are you feeling now? Are you still at work. I have had a couple of tearful moments at work today. I also cried on the way :(

HeeHee and Fizzy, sorry you've both been having a hard day. It's horrible when you're at work when all you want to do is hide away and cry. Hope you get a chance to relax and recover this evening.

It's been 4 weeks since my MC and I'm feeling better overall, but still get up days and down days. Would have been my 12 week scan today . Was dreading today, but has been fine - seems like scan was planned in a different universe.

Is anyone using ovulation tests from amazon? They seemed to have mixed reviews, so wasn't sure if they were a good buy? Have picked up a pack from Tesco, but only 7 in a box so am rationing them, which is hard when I don't have a clue what my body is up to.

Hi everyone. I haven't posted on here for a while as have been quite busy with work & non-mc related things - had a hen do last weekend which was so nice (despite there being quite a few pregnant people!).

Qazxc I am still bleeding (just brown though) 3 weeks after my erpc! It stopped but then started again today which is so annoying especially as I have pcos so my hormones are pretty rubbish at regulating things!!

heehee hooe you're doing ok. It's so hard having to put on a brave front at work. I'm lucky that this time I work from home so can be miserable on my own! But after mc1 I found it really hard going into work & carrying on as normal....although the one good thing about work was that there were no babies there!

firefil I've not done any ovulation or pregnancy tests since the mc. Am just kind if leaving it & waiting for af. Although reading everyones posts I feel like maybe I'm missing a trick. I've sort of decided to try to wait 3 months before trying again & am having accupuncture & taking vitamins etc in the meantime. Saw the consultant who did my erpc and he said he would carry out some tests on the nhs for me to check for a few things that might have caused the miscarriages. But he said I need to wait 3 months after the erpc. Seems like ages but I reckon my cycle will probably get messed up anyway & I wouldn't get preg.

So i need to try and get on with things in the meantime I suppose...& not get irritated with all the people who keep talking about planning next pregnancies & how they'd like 2 close together etc. You just never know how things will work out do you?!
Night everyone x

Thank you ladies for your replies, I am feeling much better. The bleeding has stopped :) and that has made me feel better in myself. I have talked to some friends who have been great & I'm feeling more positive & content. I am blessed with a beautiful boy & a great family and I hope to be able to expand that successfully soon. You have to stay positive right?

I've also been thinking a lot about ttc again. I think I'm going to not get obsessed & look into it too much but just have a normal sex life and see what happens. I don't want to wait for af as been told that will be 6-8 weeks then we are another 2 mths down the line. Don't think I'm prepared to wait.... Is it ok/safe to concieve before first af? I can't find an answer. The mc was natural and all done in a week, no medical intervention at all x

Hi Cake

I was told the only reason you are advised to wait for your AF is so they can date the pregnancy better.

cake and music,do you know if the dating is importnat for the purpose of knowing if the baby is developing normally? I was being naive and thinking it was just to predict an inaccurate due date and just realised that's silly and it must be useful for more important reasons ! (And glad to hear you're feeling better cake!!)

Heehee I'm going to do my own experimental test. Last week I bought a pack of ten pregnancy tests on line for something like £2 and I thought they worked fine. I now have a 20 pack of clearblue ov tests (for £40!) and I thought I'd check out that site again, I just ordered 25 of their opks for about £4. When they arrive I'm going to use one of each brand and see for myself if I have to pay more for certainty.

In addition to that, this online company talked about 3 levels of power in an opk; high, normal and low. It said for most women normal is fine and that that's what we get with ones from the stores. But if you're someone who never gets a strong reading on an opk then it might mean that your surge is below the amount "normal" sticks are designed to pick up. For me the opks never worked in the past, so I've bought the "high" strength ones.

This site also talks about different strengths of hpts by the way, I bought the stronger ones because I wanted to be sure the MC completed, but obviosuly I will be using them in future at more hopeful times and they warn that the issue with the stronger ones is that you can detect chemical pregnancies quickly and think you're pregnant.

qzxc I was reading what you wrote about wondering what a normal ammount of bleeding is with interest! I'm home today at the computer and have had a few mild cramps, assumed it was the ice cream I ate, but no! Some more bleeding!!! After two totally clear days! It is 20 days since my MC bleeding began. Obviosuly my body no longer realises it's meant to hang on to the lining for a couple of weeks every month or so! (argh!).

Sorry for the mammoth entry - and yes I have also just learned how to use the emoticons!

wrigle I guess as you say it's important for developmental things like the nuchal test. I am not sure though (and always thought if I got pregnant before my af I would happily pay for a dating scan privately).

Please can I just ask my friends (none of whom read this of course!) to PLEASE STOP posting scan photos on Facebook. My heart drops every time I see them and I have to keep referring to a pregnancy app on my phone (which I should delete but don't know how!) to see how pregnant I should be :(

(and well done with the emoticons, wrigle :))

And while I am whingeing (sp?), can the people on 'Exepcting in October' thread give it a rest and stop keep appearing in my 'Most Active' box? Never any other months, just that one :(

Ooh wrigle I await your testing with much interest. I have been using the opks, all neg so far, but we have actually just been having sex every other day since I stopped bleeding as I gather this is a good way to get preggers. That said, I have not had any rumpy for a few days now as been out, v tired etc and I wasn't panicking as the tests still neg.

but now I am worried in case the stupid cheapo tests have missed my surge and I missed the change to get jiggly. Oh poo.

I also plan to shell out for a private scan at what I will guess to be about 7 or 8 weeks (here in the west country we have a company called gp care that does them for £70) to a) check the baby is alive and b) get the dates for the Oscar scan.

But first I have to flipping ovulate, and then wait a flipping 2 weeks to test, get a flipping positive preg test, wait another sodding month to PAY for a scan to check there is actually a baby in there. And then wait another month before i can breathe out. Oh jeez - I am a bundle of laughs today. NOT!!!

Hi Ladies,
Have previously been on other threads...had mmc/blighted ovum on 5th Jan, had ERPC on 18th Jan, bled for few weeks then it stopped, then clots, then no bleed then day on day off alternating in red and brown blood.
Went back to doctors after 8 weeks of this and she referred me for next scan. Had stopped bleeding for two weeks and then had another period type bleed before scan for 5 days. So....................then went for scan this monday and she said there was STILL stuff left in the womb!!! when will this ever end???? I am now brown spotting/stuff after transvaginal scan (uterus tilted). Has anyone else had this experience??

I am terrified of getting pregnant again now/......................:/