had a miscarriage? waiting to get back to normal to TTC? come join us..

[tedmundo]

There are so many of us in that we deserve a thread....

MC and waiting to get the cycle back to normal before TTC....

Come here to share the stories of never ending bleeding, praying for BFN's and the return of the lovely AF in all her glory!

I really wished I'd taken you advice Hetty and cancelled the medically managed MC. Initially I was glad of pain as I really do believe I have had some closure on my loss.

I was only supposed to be in hospital till early afternoon but I was loosing so much more blood than the nurses expected. I started to feel faint every time I rushed to loo to fill bowl with blood. Sorry if TMI. Each time they'd say we think you have expelled the fetuses.

My partner had to leave me at 10pm and the ward was very busy. I fainted once with the nurse. The last time however I hadn't been checked in ages and the nurses found me on bathroom floor, in a pool of blood unconscious. I took a long time to revive and spend the remainder of night on drip and oxygen. It was horrendous. I just wish I'd had ERPC.

Back home now and been signed off for a further week. I am still bleeding heavily and feel weak so I am safer in bed as keep having funny turns.

Just want this to be over to we can TTC and started distracting myself with cleaning etc like you wrigle

Teaandchocolate On pain relief the nurses told me only take paracetamol as Ibuprofen increases blood loss. I didn't know this as I prefer Ibuprofen

tedmundo i saw that thread when it started a while ago and it made me laugh so i might need to go back and find out what's happened since.

wrigle I hope like you that i get my energy back soon. Had my ERPC a week ago and still have to be really careful with what I do as get knackered, and sometimes dizzy, quite easily.

Thankfully, other than the afternoon following the operation, I've had no bleeding post ERPC and the discomfort is easing now, although I'm not sure how much of that was due to op and how much due to constipation which I had for nearly all og the last week.

Tried DTD (but not ttc) at the weekend but found it a bit painful and it caused a bit of spotting so guessing my body needs a little more time to recover. I'm planning to POAS this weekend and hope it will be BFN so we can start ttc soon.

Hope everyone else is doing ok - I finding the sunshine helps :)

Natty your experience sounds awful - how scary it must have been to have had so much bleeding and without your DH there for some of it! Glad you're safely home now - take the time to rest and recover as much as possible x

Oh Natty, that sounds horrible. And it's not tmi, I don't know how much previous experience you have of MC, but I had none, and I had no idea what to expect. I don't understand why people don't talk about this more. I was shocked and scared as well as saddened by what was happening. Traumas are eased, among other things, by being able to talk about what happened.

My MC was natural, or unassisted, and started 12 days ago, my bleeding is very light now, and it's only today that I have felt I had energy. Although being at home last week depressed me, and the weather was so nice, so we went to a national trust garden every day as I didn't want to mope on the sofa, I moped under trees instead with frequent visits to the loos there. I think gettign ou every day, ven thouh I didn't feel like it, hastened my recovery. You'll get your energy back.

Littlespade, I'm jealous you tried to dtd but I guess if you're not bleeding then it's different. I'm desperate both to be close and to start trying again!

Hi everyone, can I join in? I am recovering from my MMC. Not sure exactly what date counts as the MC having happened but my baby died at 9 weeks, I found out at 11 and actually passed it at 12. This was last Tuesday and 8 days later I'm still bleeding. The MC was natural in the end - I chose medical management but passed everything only 3 hours after the first tablet when I was at home. I then ended up in A&E as I lost a lot of blood and in a lot of pain. They told me to keep my next appointment in case there was still retained tissue.

I was scanned when I went back two days later for the pessaries but everything had already gone so I didn't need them.

I did a pregnancy test yesterday which was still positive :( I'm so desperate to get back to normal and try again. We have decided to try again as soon as AF returns so I hope this doesn't take too long. I have already bought some ovulation tests so I will start using these as soon as I get a negative pregnancy test.

I still feel so devastated and cry every day.

Hi HHHB, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that devastated feeling. And it's perverse situation to be waiting for a negative pregnancy test, isn't it. I don't know about you but I don't want to take it, don't want to see it, but it will give an all clear for being in a position to start trying again. And it is hard to know what is meant by miscarriage, it seems to be both an event and a process. This has certainly been a sttep learning curve for me. I do not know when my baby died, although I suspected that how I felt the week before was not a good sign, but I started bleeding 13 days ago, what I consider to be the main miscarriage event happened on days 3 and 4, and I'm still bleeding now, but the cramping has eased and I have taken pain medication for a few days now. It's good you don't need any further intervention, you've got a lot of this experience behind you now andyour body can continue healing. Hope you can give yourself time for what you need to feel.

Hello again everyone

Sorry to read about some of your stories on this page :(

I went in for my medical mc yesterday. It was a long long day with a lot of pacing up & down the corridor. But eventually it happened when the nurse decided to do a check. Otherwise she was going to discuss other options with me...
There was a lot of bleeding last night, but less now.
Generally I am feeling a lot better, as the 2 weeks of waiting is over. I am off work sick for the rest of this week and then on holiday next week so should be feeling more emotionally stable by the time I'm back at work.

I can't think about DTD and TTC at the moment. I think things are still too fresh / raw. Also, we are going to have some tests done, so feel I have to wait until after this, just in case there is something that can be done to stop another mc.
I do feel funny though about potentially using contraception in the meantime...

Lots of good luck to those of you who are ready to DTD and TTC, and big hugs to those who are still or have recently Had a mc. X

Miscarried at 12 weeks two months ago. It was awful. Baby got stuck in my cervix coming out, had full blown contractions and they had to remove it with forceps. My partner and I were absolutely devastated. After my first normal period we have started trying again. However, Im scared to get pregnant again because I Don't know if I could go through it all again if I miscarried.

Hi I've been following the thread for the last few days and am so sorry for everyone's losses. I hope you don't mind me joining...

I miscarried the middle of February at 7 weeks. Hospital confirmed miscarriage complete with a scan and HCG levels back to zero almost 2 weeks after.

On Friday I felt just different and took a HPT - positive. Have done many since then, various brands, all positive and getting increasingly darker lines, DH agrees. This morning however I've started to bleed quite heavily and feel totally gutted. I presumed that I was pregnant again. Got doc appt this afternoon. Was doing OK up until this point.

We have two DD, both uneventful pregnancies, carried to term.

I too am terrified to start ttc again.

Thanks wrigle. Yes, it is odd hoping for a negative test. I should have known a week was not long enough for it to turn negative. Seeing it still showing positive was very sad.

HHHB, when I went for my scan to see if it was over I was asked to take a test, as if it was negative then I wouldn't have had to have the scan. When the nurse told me it was positive I broke down. I'm angry that I have to test again. This Friday, if it's negative then I'm done, if its positive then I have to have further help. It makes me angry. This was my first pregnancy, first try, and it all went so easily and so well until it didn't. I felt like an indignant child when I lost the baby but MN has helped me imensly (where's spell check when you need it!). I remember your input from the October thread. It's heartbreaking stuff. I have found getting out into the sunshine, even if that's where I do my crying and cramping, better than staying at home, have you made it out of the house? You were brave keeping in touch on that thread, I just disappeared from it myself.

wrigle I totally understand. This was my first pregnancy, first try too. I was really enjoying the October thread and miss reading it. I had a quick look at it this morning but I got teary so didn't stay long, I should have known better. I totally understand why you would want disappear from it.

I feel I have gone from immensely happy with lots to focus on to heartbroken in an instant and I can't get my head around it. I agree about mumsnet, it has helped me so much and I am so greatful. Hopefully we will be on another more positive thread in the near future. I went for a walk out in the sunshine for a bit today, I must say, it did cheer me up.

Take care of yourself.

i had my erpc 6 days ago and today i feel a bit better. i'm in less pain and think that the bleeding/discharge seems to be slowing. Today I'm going to unsubscribe from pregnancy threads and alerts as they keep coming to my email and i really don't need to be reminded about what i lost.
Yesterday, the hospital rang to schedule my 14 week scan, the poor girl at the end of the phone was mortified when i told her. Every time i turn on the telly the pampers add showing an ultrasound seems to be on. everywhere i turn there are things to remind me.
Hopefully things will improve when i can go back to work as i won't be at home brooding over things.
I'm starting to get a bit scared about trying again in case it happens again. but i'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

qazxc, I found it so strange that the different services didn't communicate with each other and my GP and that I had to inform all of them myself.

HHHB, the weather is a real gift, I'm sure the sun helps.

Just took a pg test, it's still positive, this is day 14.

Hello everyone, have just been reading not posting past few days. RoxyLady, that sounds like a horrendous experience. You too FizzyCola - was your GP able to shed any light on whether it was a second mc?

I'm in the desparate to have a baby but too scared to get pregnant zone too. May have had my AF, but not sure as after only 3 weeks?!! Going on holiday in a month, and scared that if I got pregnant I would have another mc when away, or spend the holiday freaking out about the possibility of mc. Agreed with dh that we would wait to ttc, but now I worry that I'll somehow 'miss my chance' to get pg again. He's beginning to think I'm crazy for still obsessing about this when we've 'made a decision'. aaaaahhhhh!

ooo, that feels better.

Firefli I totally get what you mean desperate for a baby but too scared to have to go though all this trauma again.

I think we just need to not think about it, we are majorly owed some good luck!

Just need to stay positive. x

Hi the doc on Wed was very polite but simply referred me to the EPAS on Thursday as was closed by the time I was out. They confirmed that it was a second miscarriage and put me at 4.5 - 5 weeks. Midwife said that based on my dates I must have ovulated and conceived a few days after the bleeding stopped (I bled really heavily for two weeks) and that probably my womb lining would just have been too thin at that point to support a pregnancy. (???)

They wanted to scan me but as yesterday was meant to be my dating scan with the first miscarriage I refused. They were Ok about it and I've been told to repeat a test in a weeks time and if still positive to go back to them and not to bother going to the doctor.

On a plus side they still think I've just been unlucky and said no reason not to try again this month. I think we're going to as they wont investigate until I've had three. Really scared though as if it happens again will have to start properly accepting that maybe there really is a problem....

Qazxc - I know what you meant about the different hospital dept's not communicating. I got my dating scan appt through the day after the EPAS discharged me for my m/c. Unnecessarily upsetting. Again.

Weather beautiful here again so am getting ready to go panic buy petrol (well everyone else is!) and then do nothing else but sit in the garden sunning myself all day. Hope everyone OK today.

Hi fizzy, sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you mean about being scared of trying again, although we all know the odds it doesn't make it any easier when it happens to you. Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts and take care of yourself.
Feeling a bit blue today (week after erpc), hoping that going back to work and getting back to normal routines might help.

Thanks qazxc. Sorry you're feeling down today, a week is still such a short time.

I had 2.5 weeks off in total, one and a half weeks before as we knew we were going to miscarry (hcg levels weren't doubling), and one week after. I really really dreaded going back to work, tears the night before and everything, but it has been ok and as you said, very quickly got back into a routine which has helped loads. When are you due to back to work? Hope you feel a bit better soon.

Hi girls, can I join? I am currently miscarrying at 7+2. Had a scan after spotting on Tuesday that showed an empty sac measuring 5+2 there was some hope that my dates were wrong but the bleeding gradually got heavier until last night I was bleeding heavily & passing large clots. It seems to have tailed off abit now. I'm feeling tired & emotional with it all. I am lucky enough to have dc1, 16 months but we are keen to expand our family. I don't know whether to wait to ttc or to start straight away? I'm terrified of this happening again.

Hi Cakeplease, I'm sorry to read what you're going through. You're in the right place for talking about trying again and being scared! It sounds like you need lots of rest and comfort right now.

I'm comforted to read that those who've returned to work have found getting back into the routine an ok process. I'm dreading it on Monday, but for no good reason really, don't get me wrong, my working environment is awful, but there's nothing specific I'm worried about! I'm sure it will be fine!

cakeplease, don't worry about ttc right now. you are still going through a big upheaval and you need to process it before you can move on. ttc is entirely up to you, some people want to get on with it straight away and others want to wait. only you can decide what's right for you. i had a miscarriage last week and was told not to have sex for 2 weeks and that they would rather i wait til i had a period before trying again. but that advice might vary from woman to woman.
fizzycolabuba, I'm due back in work tomorrow. never thought i'd be gagging to go to work but i can't wait to go back and have something to occupy my brain. I have been watching crap telly and eating my own weight in chocolate for the past week, so i really need to get back out there. just need to think of an excuse for not being there for the last two weeks.

Hi all - sorry for long message but hoping I can join here as need to talk to others who've experienced the same to help share my experience. I found out two weeks ago at my 12 week scan that we had a MMC and that the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. I got married last year and this was my first pregnancy. Had a bit of bleeding the night before my scan so had gone to A and E in the morning to check all was ok. But as it showed a positive pregnancy test and i had normal bp and pulse they thought all was ok and said that i'd find out at my scan as they couldn't get me in for an earlier scan. Well we did and it wasn't good news. I'd never even heard of a silent miscarriage before then!

We had the medical management on mother's day (!) but sadly it didn't work for me - they said i passed a few clots (sorry if tmi) but i was in a lot of pain and so we were there for 10 hours on the day before they let me go home. Nothing much happened at home but i was so stressed out waiting for the big pain to happen as the nurses scared me quite a bit saying how much i could lose and what could happen. We went for the follow up scan on wed when thankfully they said we had the all clear and all is almost over now - I just can't stop crying. Am going back to work on tues to get back to it as think i need to start getting out there but just feel so down (I work in publicity so my work depends on me being upbeat which I'm worried about) and really scared about TTC.

The midwife also at my follow up scan asked if I'd been told that i have a heart shaped uterus - I said i thought my sister had one but no i didn't know about this. Read a few things on google that says this can make it tougher to carry full term though my sister has had one stillborn followed by three amazing kids so maybe i'll be ok:)

I know everyone says that you can't feel guilty but am struggling to get over the fact that we got pregnant really quickly on honeymoon and I was slightly disappointed that it happened so quickly when i saw the two lines on the hpt. How much do I regret feeling like that now?!!

Now I want to get pregnant so badly am trying not to stress about it. We're going to wait till the next time AF arrives - just hoping it's sooner rather than later...how long have you guys been waiting?? Love and hugs to all who're going through it xx

Morning all. Hello to all the new people on here and I am so sorry for your loss. There are some sad sad stories on here but as we have all gone through it in recent weeks, you are in company.

choppy you mention the regret of having a bit of disappointment. I know exactly what you mean. After years of shall we, shan't we discussions about dc3 we decided to go for it on Christmas day after a few drinks. Cue boxing day me doing some maths in my head and feeling a sept baby would not be good for such awful, selfish reasons that I feel so ashamed now.

I didn't want to be preg over summer hols with the 2 ds at home for 6 weeks, I worried we would not get our summer hol if doc would not sign the flying disclaimer for the airline if I get pre eclampsia again, and if baby came early due to pre ec I didn't want an aug baby to be youngest in the year. So I had all these thoughts and we decided to use protection again til next af.

Needless to say, the Xmas session caught us out and of course I was happy but moaned a bit to DH about all things above. Now I feel so stupid about it as of course none of it really matters and when sept comes around I am going to be officially the saddest person on the planet. God I really hope I am preg again by then or I may go slightly doo Lally.

a few of you new ones have asked about TTc - I waited until I finally got a bfn and now we are doing the deed every other day. I also test for ovulation but nothing so far but it is early days. Good luck to everyone with TTc. I truly hope to hear some nice news soon.

Oh Tedmundo! Me too ... I was due early Oct and decided it was a bad time as DH is away a lot then (I already have 1 ds and can't imagine having to cope alone), I would be pregnant (and big) in the summer, etc. etc. Now I would give anything to have it back :( xx