Tips for coping with the practicalities of miscarriage

[comeonbishbosh]

I?ve just had mc2, which has been emotionally more upsetting than mc1, but I coped a heck of a lot better on the practical side of managing it. And I realise that through the pregnancy books are full of tips on what types of sweets to pack in your hospital bag for labour, we?re pretty short of simple tips to make the sheer yuckiness of going through a miscarriage a little more bearable. I know there?s going to be big variations in people?s experience, and this is in no way to overrule any medical advice you get. But at least it might be a starting point.

For info, I had mc1 8 months ago, didn?t realise I was pg at the time (just come off breastfeeding DD, had massive problems conceiving before) but was probably 8-12 weeks. Didn?t realise it was actually a mc until a lot of mess later. MC2 was a few days ago, had a bit more notice as knew I was 8 wk pregnant, had been increasingly bleeding, and knowing a bit more what it was like through mc1. Neither time I needed to go to hospital.

So, this is what I would suggest helps from my experience, all offered as suggestions that may or may not apply to your situation!

1. Once you realise the bleeding has started in earnest, get home as soon as you can. You will probably need to sit on the loo for the next 1-3 hours, and that?s far nicer to do in the comfort of your own home.

2. If you need to travel in a car, sit on a plastic bag. (My 1st mc started at work, and by the time my DH came and picked me up in the car I had bleeding all down my trousers... it?s not glamorous).

3. Cancel everything, get childcare if you need it. The first time in the midst of the bleeding I tried to keep going, a builder came round to give me a quote for some work, DH went out on a pre-arranged cinema trip and I was putting DD to bed on my own. However hard it is to get a builder to quote, this was stupid priorities! Also, I now know best not to be left without another adult within shouting distance.

4. Settle in for the long haul. My mc2 was overnight, and I essentially camped out in the bathroom with magazines, world service on the radio, short scurries downstairs to make a hot chocolate. It was still horrible. But not unremittingly so.

5. Hot water bottles or hot wheatbags are great. And painkillers.

6. Get top quality sanitary pads, supersize. The maternity ones might be good for the first few hours if you can?t just sit on the loo, but they will make you miserable with their ungainliness. This is not a time to economise on the cheap versions.

7. If your mc kicks off at an evening or weekend, I found phoning my GPs ?out of hours? service loads more helpful, straightforward and kind than I have ever found NHS direct.

8. If take a pg test when you are miscarrying, it should come out positive. This is useful if, like me on mc1, I didn?t know I was pg at the time.

9. Take more time off work than you think. You are very much allowed to mooch.

Please do add any more tips. It goes without saying that I hope you and I never need these (again)?

Thankyou @zarala

went in for pre op today expecting surgery tomorrow and ended up having the misscarage in the waiting room after nearly fainting 😢with the pain (through no fault of the EPU) quite glad it’s happened without needing to go in tomorrow, had yet another scan and all has passed now and pain has completely gone though so just on bed rest for the next few days.

Thanks for everyone's well wishes xx

@2018isanewyear wow! Well that sounds intense but probably best outcome- our bodies are amazing. I had mine naturally yesterday too- was so gruesome! I am hoping everything came out but I am still cramping so i don't know if it will ramp up again?
Does anyone know if that happens?
I tried to find the pregnancy sac but couldn't! Just a lot like a lot of clots. The hospital told me to bring them down on Monday for testing- but if there's no sac in there I don't know whether it will be useful?
Anyway @2018isanewyear I'm glad the worst is over for you (physically)
Take care of yourself! Big hugs

I was told today I was likely to cramp for a few days but only mild, think that is because they have had confirmation that the worst including the sack passed today. Luckily (not sure if that's the right word) I had a scan when first arriving which showed the sack was breaking down but still present and then after the waiting room incident 🙄 another scan which showed all had passed. There was no denying it had happened for me, felt instantly better although still mild cramps nothing like before

I may be worth taking them in, would they offer you another scan to confirm the worst is over with? I know all EPU's can be different.

I can't fault ours enough after the last few days! And hope you have had the same experience

I hope the worst is over for you.

@2018isanewyear
Thanks- yes I'm going in for a scan on Monday. To be fair they have been really great and even called me this morning to check I was ok after yesterday. I called them at the worst point- I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, felt so faint and sick! They told me to go to a&e but I decided to ride it out at home, drank some coke and eventually was able to get off the loo and lie in bed! I can't imagine having gone through that in public! Hope they gave you a private room?!
The EPU I'm at is UCLH- I gave birth there and have only good things to say about this hospital!

Hi 2018 and zahara, just wanted to say thinking of you both today. I wish it had been different for all of us.
I’m going off this thread now as need some distance but thank you to everyone who has shared x

*zarala ffs sorry!

@buddy79 thank you and all the best to you on your journey

@2018isanewyear how are you today?

@zarala feeling much better, still feeling pretty low but the pain has pretty much disappeared

How about you? X

@2018isanewyear
I'm Still cramping, not as bad as it was on Wednesday but more like period pains.
I'm just feeling crap and achy and so tired! Like a bad period I suppose and all I want to do is sleep. It's really been challenging with my toddler - I was alone with her all day yesterday feel like I used up all my energy just trying to keep her entertained and happy . Luckily OH is home today so I am still in bed.
Im hoping Monday they will tell me it's all passed so I can just move on. I'm wondering if I'm feeling like this because I don't have that closure

Hi all, I'm gradually working my way through this thread recommended by someone to me. So glad I found it.

I was wondering if anyone could help me? I had the tablets yesterday to start everything off. Took them at about 1pm, by 3pm I was in quite a lot of pain and by 6pm everything was happening, lots of bleeding and huge clots. Luckily I knew what to expect thanks to this thread. But what I'm wondering is how much longer will it carry on? Should I be expecting more to happen today? Or is it different for everyone? I've woken up this morning not needing painkillers yet. My scan yesterday showed just the sac remaining to come out, I haven't been looking that closely so I don't know if it's gone or not?

I've been like a hermit the last 2 weeks waiting for it all to happen and weirdly I'd like to get out today, even if it is just to take dd to the park, but I don't know if I'm being a bit over enthusiastic. My mum has offered to come over and look after dd today if needed, DH can't get the day off.

@loveulotslikejellytots
Hi I'm so sorry you've also had to go through this
For me I only had one session where everything came out (well almost everything) I have been bleeding since but a scan on Monday showed I still have tissue left- I am not sure whether I will experience an epic 3hour evacuation like I did last week - the doctor said it would probably just be more like a heavy period over a few days.

I know some women do have second rounds of heavy bleeding - but I haven't experienced that yet.

I would go out for a walk and just make sure you have heavy duty pads with you / it sounds like you have passed most of it

Good luck!

Sorry to hear @zarala that it's not quite over for you yet. How are you feeling today? I think the worst has defiantly passed for me still needing to wear a pad but I think in the next day or two should have stoped bleeding completely. Holding for my period to arrive (never thought I would say that) as soon as so I know where my cycle is.

@2018isanewyear
I know it's a Bitch! I just want it to be over with already! And like you I just want AF to show up and everything to go back to normality
I've decided to do some acupuncture and Arvigo Mayan massage to help cleanse my womb. Also apparently really good to help balance hormones and stuff after MC- I'll let you know how they go. I'm really looking forward to it

Hi all
I have just come out of my 2nd ERPC since December. This time it was for an incomplete miscarriage
I just thought I'd write some things here for anyone who may be going to have the procedure done because I actually had forgotten (blocked out) some of the points from last time.

At Uclh Erpc's are done in the morning - you have to check in at 7am. Make sure no eating from 11:30pm previous evening and no drinking water after 6am. You're then directed to your bed in a ward with a few other women.
A nurse checks you in, takes your temperature and blood pressure
Then the anaesthetist comes in and explains everything, the risks and what to expect etc and makes you sign a consent form.
I was then given two pessaries which I had to insert as close as possible to the cervix
My husband was able to join me after 9am.
We were then left alone until about 10am when they asked me to put my gowns on and then at 10:30 I was led to the anaesthetic room.
They put in a canula on your less dominant hand (which was painful) and then they inserted some kind of drugs- I don't remember what they were and then they told me the anaesthetic was about to be administered.
She said to expect a cold rush up my arm, they asked me to keep my eyes open (I guess so that can tell when you're out)
For me this time The anaesthetic burned and I the last thing I remember is trying to say- it's burning- but then I was out.
Next thing I know I am being awoken in a recovery ward with an oxygen mask. I also start crying/ this happened last time too (although I don't remember the oxygen mask) felt really sad and just generally weak
They had a big heater blowing into my blankets which was nice- maybe I was cold? I don't know but it felt good
They took my blood pressure and temperature again and then sent me back to the ward.
Stayed there a couple of hours- drank a lot of water and sent my husband to get me some proper food (they only offer biscuits or a bread roll)
I'm home now it's 4:30 and I am still feeling woozy and drained and really exhausted
Don't have much bleeding at all- only when I pee it seems to come out more

Hopefully things will just get better from here

Sorry if this has been repeated so many times but just thought I'd share my experience

I'm having a missed miscarriage and I'm just having a period like bleed with mild cramping. But this has been incredibly useful for when it happens for me. Thank you. Will share with hubby so he is prepared too. Xx

Can I ask a question? I've been diagnosed with a MMC, well 95% certain that's what's happened. Bean measuring 3.1crl which is 5-6 weeks and no heartbeat of blood flow-I should've been around 8.5/9 weeks (this was a week ago) have to wait till April 4th for confirmation, and hope I miscarry naturally in the meantime.

But what I want to know is as I haven't physically miscarried yet is my pregnancy gestation still going up? Ie is my body likely to be lining my uterus/making the sac bigger? Even though baby isn't growing? Just worried about the impact the weeks are having on my options (I know 12 weeks is a bit of a cut off and I'll be close to that if the count is still on by the time I have my next scan) and how bad the eventual miscarriage will be X

I’m so sorry @Latenightreader, I had no idea. Hope you’re doing ok now.

I’m finding this thread really useful.

How long have people taken off work after a miscarriage? I'm still bleeding slightly, but it started last Thursday.

It really depends @teacher84. If you’ve got a lot of cramping/bleeding then you’re likely to not want/be able to work.

My friend had no “issues” and worked through it, another friend was on the couch and toilet for 5 days straight with the pain and bleeding. Every woman is different.

I’m sorry for your loss x

@Hortonlovesahoo, in all fairness the physical issues haven't been horrendous. Pain very manageable and bleeding like a very heavy period. It's the emotional side that's hardest. Everything just reminds me of what's happened. Worse still, sometimes I forget and then it hits me again!

@teacher84: that’s the worst part of it, isn’t it? The emotional side takes the longest time to get over. I’ve had a lot of complications since my miscarriage in February and every new test, every new development feels like another emotional smack in the face.

Re: physical symptoms: the best advice I received was just plan for everything (lots of blood loss, hot water bottles, fever etc) and then if it’s not that, then it’s just a bonus.

Just bumping this back onto the first page as like so many posters before me, I’ve found it full of invaluable advice and shared experiences.

I miscarried 16 days ago, at 9wks3days. Blead for a week, then stopped and started again about 3-4 days ago. Still bleeding now. Anyone had anything similar? Any thoughts?

I'm so glad I've stumbled across this. Was in EPU on Tuesday for brown discharge and loss of other pregnancy symptoms where had scan showing empty sac (I was supposed to be 11+4) and absoutely devastated - was supposed to be having 12 week dating and NT scan tomorrow. Not sure how emotionally I'll get over this as took us 5 years TTC our first. Have to go back on Tuesday for another scan so they can confirm mc. Just in case I start to bleed before Tuesday though or in preparation for whatever happens from Tuesday have just sent DH out to get maternity pads as reckon they'll be most absorbant rather than regular sanitary pads. I'm so scared of what's to come. No idea what the options are or what will be best. Worried about work (currently off sick) and how long before I will feel ok to return. Head is all over the place.

Any advice?

@teacher84: sorry that I missed your earlier post. If you’re still bleeding on and off, go and get checked out that there’s nothing left behind. I was told it’s normal to bleed up to 3 weeks on and off.

@InDreamland: I’m sorry for your loss. The best advice I can give is to take it day by day and try not to overwhelm yourself with the emotional side of things if you can. There’s some great practical advice on the thread for preparing and what to expect but just go from one day, one appointment to another. It’s so utterly shit