Hello you lovely lot. I've been trying to get on the sodding computer for the past 24 hours, but things have been ever so slightly dramatic to say the very least. So, to put you out of your misery...
DD is here! 
All 9lb 5ozs of her. Ended up having an unplanned homebirth, because she came too damn quickly. Phoned the hospital at about 3am to say I was going in and they fobbed me off, saying I was clearly not in active labour as far too calm and composed. 
Have I EVER been too calm and composed?
An hour later I was hollering and whooping on all fours on my bathroom floor (thought I was literally dying - poor DH desperately trying to remain calm all the while as I wailed like a deranged loon) and screamed down the phone at them that we were coming in. Stupid woman at the birth centre told me to take paracetamol and eat something when there was practically a person hanging out of me. Managed to get out of my bath, but that was basically the end of my ability to move. Waters went with a bang that I both heard and felt and the idea of a car journey was completely impossible. Poor DS woke up and started asking why Mummy was sad at this point which is, I think, the only reason why I was still hanging onto the baby. So, emergency ambulance, two paramedics and a pretty annoyed midwife all dash out to us at about 5am yesterday morning and, they wouldn't let me deliver in my bath because it was a medical emergency by that point, apparently! Managed to find enough air to yell that if they'd let me go into sodding hospital in the first place instead of patronising me, it'd have been a lot easier!
Finally delivered at quarter to 6 in the morning yesterday on my bed. Baby was back to back and arrived with her arm stuck up by her head, which would explain the intensity of the evil contractions and my inability to birth her easily. Despite midwife's panicking about another retained placenta, it came away very easily, so the only concern for my high risk status was utterly invalid in the end!
She is called Isobel and she looks like a little Chinese sumo wrestler. She has the thickest black hair I have ever seen (don't have a clue where that comes from) and I am in total and absolute shock, but deeply in love with her. Coconuts FWIW the bond was there immediately. I expected to breakdown straightaway, but was too damned amazed at everything that had happened. I haven't cried yet, though I'm expecting the floodgates to open at any minute.
I cannot thank you all enough for your love and support over the past two and a half nightmarish years. I literally couldn't have got here without you.
I keep expecting her to disappear, or something to go wrong, or the world to end, or something - but for now, I'm just going to hug her and squeeze her and try to work out where this little person who looks nothing like any of us has come from.
Back for a proper catch up when I'm slightly less mental, emotional, hormonal etc. and I've bought a new mattress and a stock of new towels! Unplanned homebirths are a bugger to tidy up after!
Lots of love to you all. xxxx