Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond

[Glitterybits]

Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.

I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.

I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!

frazzled Have a lovely holiday. The weather doesn't matter provided you get some peace and recuperation! A holiday sounds absolutely heavenly right now.

LAF I'm sticking out a HTH and agreeing with you that recurrent mc is evil beyond belief. I felt very sad reading your previous msg that you were so certain of being pg before even taking a test. It should be such a happy thing but it's horrid that your body can alert you to pregnancy so clearly and still cause you so much stress and worry. It's wrong that you should be so familiar with this set-up that you just know IYSWIM. Not only takes the joy and anticipation out of it, but also puts you on a ticking clock, wondering how long you have this time around. I am hoping and praying for you that this is your turn, but please feel free to rant and vent every second if it helps. I'll try to pop by every day. I haven't kept up with the other thread very well. Are you on any treatment atm?

Coconuts I hope you get the birth you want. I think you will have a better certainty of what you want when you get a bit further down the road. I went from not giving a damn where I gave birth to suddenly seizing control of my beliefs again in the last couple of weeks. My only advice is to do whatever you think is the best for you and your baby - psychologically as much as physically.

11 days to go. I am anticipating a mini-meltdown sooner rather than later.

Love and hugs to everyone else. x

glittery no treatment for me because there has been no diagnosis. I will be on the PROMISE trial, so I have to call St. Marys tomorrow and let them know I'm pg. I'm still travelling for work, so the earliest I can get in is on Friday. I'm supposed to let them know as soon as I know, so I can take the pessaries, placebo or progesterone. DH isn't with me on my trip so I sent him a photo of the test. I'm already worrying that the test says 1-2 weeks, when it should say 2-3 weeks post conception. However, my sample was quite diluted, so I may test again in 2 days time. My period isn't actually due until Tuesday though.

I want this baby so much. I filled in my diary of all of the weeks pg I will be through until mid February. I don't know why I'm torturing myself like this, but I can't help it. I want to believe, but I don't want to get attached. It's awful.

My due date for my third pg is this week. It's nice to think that I have another baby for the time being to help me through it.

I wasn't very nice to my mum when I saw her this week. She tried to give me a photo of DH and me at Christmas and I refused to take it. I can only associate Christmas 2010 with the loss of that baby. Every time I would see that picture, that's what I'd think about.

The pain never really goes away.

LAF Another HTH from me too. It is truly awful, RMC has taken away the joy of a BFP, the excitement and anticipation. And we have all felt the same, so you aren't alone. Try not to get too involved with the CB digi tests, I often think they can make you worry unnecessarily. We all want this to be your turn, and will be here to listen.

The pain never goes away. I lost my first baby on New Years Eve 2005. I can't celebrate NYE anymore. I only have the memory of losing my baby in the toilet.

frazzled enjoy your holiday :) I wish i could join you!

glittery Yes I ecpect it will all fall into place once I get a bit further along, I just find it hard to not worry about it. I worry about not worrying about something IYSWIM. 11 days to EDD? Shit, thats gone fast! I am so excited for you it's unreal!

I am so tired after this weekend. Constant rain here, proper hammered it down all weekend. I ended up having to do an hour and a half walk on the Sat and Sun and got drenched everytime. After my bath last night my legs and feet felt so achey and swollen so having a day snuggled indoors today, making gingerbread with DD.

11 weeks to go here, lucky 11 here today!

LAF Big congratulatory hug for you. I totally understand its difficult to "celebrate" but I am glad you are pregnant and glum and not just glum IFYSWIM. I also had a miserable time in the beginning, mourning not being able to celebrate because there was too much to worry about, I have to say though its taken a long time, that feeling has now gone and I am able to believe that baby is really coming and will be alright, but those early days are so hard. Yet another hand to hold from me. I think one day you will be able to look at that Christmas photo and feel OK, but not yet, its too soon still.

OK here is a more simplified list. I dont think I will be bothered to update it everyday otherwise. Copy and paste yourselves in if you want in, ignore it/cross yourself off if you dont fancy it.

-Pregnant-
Glittery
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts
MummyAbroad - EDD 4/11/2011, Flavour - boy, Name - Max)
Justmee
LAF77

-with long awaited babies-
StillFrazzled
LunaticFringe
JulezBoo
Mumatron

hope I didnt miss anyone!

-Pregnant-
Glittery
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts - EDD 01/10/11, Boy, name undecided
MummyAbroad - EDD 4/11/2011, Flavour - boy, Name - Max)
Justmee
LAF77

-with long awaited babies-
StillFrazzled
LunaticFringe
JulezBoo
Mumatron

LAF I know it doesn't help at all to say I understand wholeheartedly and if I could wave a magic wand and give you a crystal ball right now to see how all this turned out, I would. Right now, I'm panicking about everything going wrong at the very end. If/ when the baby arrives, I'll probably start panicking that I've been too lucky and something is bound to go wrong further down the line. Unfortunately, none of us will ever have that blissful ignorance that we had before all of this. We just have to find the energy from somewhere to keep going and look after each other. Try, if you can, not to worry unduly about the conception indicators on pg tests. They are desperately unreliable. If it helps at all, I know exactly when I conceived this baby and my tests at the start suggested I was a week behind where I thought I was. The hormone levels have to be at a certain point for it to know where you are and there are obviously variables in terms of how concentrated your urine is when you take the test and the fact that all of us are quite different in terms of hormone production.

Did you explain to your Mum why that photo is so hard for you to look at? I'm sure she'd understand if you told her about the horrid memories it invokes. I will never again be able to go to a music festival without associating it with miscarriage because it was the last place I went as a happy pg woman before it all started to go horribly wrong. Other people don't take your EDDs and mc dates with them - even my lovely DH has no idea what they are. Sometimes you need to give them a gentle reminder, but it's just another instance where mc sufferers are made to feel awkward by upsetting other people to get painful memories off their chests.

Anyway, enough misery. I want to say a tentative congratulations! At this moment you are pregnant and a mummy-to-be and I'm hoping that this PROMISE trial helps you as much psychologically as it does in terms of a happy, healthy pregnancy. Keep talking to us.

Coconuts I think I've reached the surreal stage. Every so often, I have the odd half hour of desperate panic about whether or not I am even capable of giving birth and then another hour or so feeling very calm and hoping labour will start before I get too beside myself with worry. I seem to have suddenly got an energy spurt over the past couple of days because I'm suddenly feeling better than I have in about 2 months. My Mum raised her eyebrows at this news and suggested labour was imminent. I feel completely ready and desperately unprepared at the same time! A big part of me still feels as though I'm looking down on someone else doing all this. Soooo weird!

Waves to everyone else. Hope you are all okay. xx

-Pregnant-
Glittery - EDD 29/07/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts - EDD 01/10/11, Boy, name undecided
MummyAbroad - EDD 4/11/2011, Flavour - boy, Name - Max)
Justmee
LAF77

-with long awaited babies-
StillFrazzled
LunaticFringe
JulezBoo
Mumatron

popping in. I have a broken netbook

I am on tablet pc atm but it is painfully slow. will update proper tomorrow once dh is at work and can use his laptop.

oliver weighs 17lb 10! another milk change but will explain tomorrow x

hope everyone is well!

Hello lovely ladies, hope everyone is ok :)

glittery one week to go to EDD!!! Eek! hope it's beginnning to feel a bit more real. I had the same conversation with DH about me feeling like I'm just doing this for someone else and that I'll have this baby but never get to bring it home. I just can't seem to get my head around it still.

LAF hope you are doing ok, thinking of you, take it one day at a time, it's all we can do.

lunatic hope you're managing to get some sleep. Take a nap in the day when baby is asleep if you can. Being tired is the worst thing.

mummy fraxxled hope the two of you are ok.

Been particularly quiet over here so thought I'd keep this bumped up.

TMI - Have developed a rather embarrassing problem of a varicose vein in my nether regions Been on the phone to MW to ask if normal and apparently all is fine and should go away after birth. Phew. Oh the glamour!

Otherwise all ok with me, ten weeks left. Have sorted through my drawers of stuff and made a list of what we do and don't need and not much left to get. Going shopping for a few more bits next week. Next week will be hectic, DH's bday, eating out a couple of times, family visits, shopping trips. I'm tired just thinking about it!

Hi all,

loopy I'll see your broken netbook and raise you a broken water heater Horrible when the luxuries we take for granted stop working [wails with loopy]

I agree with the nap advice too, force yourself too, its so true that even 15 minutes will refresh you somewhat, so dont think its not worth it if you get even the tiniest chance.

coconuts sympathy for your varicose vein, but good to know it will go away. I am wearing (or trying to) the thickest ever support maternity tights in an attempt to avoid varicose veins. They really are a bit too thick though, they take me about 30 mins to put on! An are awful in the heat and look grim. Glamour indeed.

Glittery good luck with everything, I guess we will be hearing less of you soon if all goes to plan and baby comes on time. Will be checking in regularly for news though! xxxx

Who is loopy?

doh! sorry meant lunatic - it seems its me thats a bit loopy today!

...and you can talk.. who is "fraxxled"?

Haha I'll let you off then

looks like its baby brain syndrome for both of us at the moment!

Hello all. Apologies for keeping up. Busy bee here atm.

I'll try and do a proper catch up later when E goes to bed

Jeez, anyone would think you two were a bit pregnant and baby brain ish. It's Julez who has the broken netbook! Anyway, I quite like loopy. May have to change my name!

Lunatic I hope you're getting some sleep. I'm guessing from your absence that you're having a bit of a rough time. Are those AD's kicking in yet? Hope you get a bit of respite soon.

Julez How are you feeling? Life is difficult enough without a broken netbook to contend with. Hope you're okay.

Mummy Nightmare about the water heater. You really do depend on these things working, don't you? I remember when our computers went down at work one day. We were literally clueless as to how to function on any normal level!

Coconuts Pregnancy truly is a beautiful time isn't it? Varicose veins, piles, oedematic pockets of fluid, colitis.... I've said it before and I'll say it again, but you really do have to question our sanity! And, no, it still doesn't feel real. Even though I'm in discomfort and ready to be done, I still feel as though I'm dreaming. I doubt even the pain of labour will make this real for me. Taking a live baby home with me still seems completely and utterly unbelievable. I'm actually beginning to worry how I'll cope when it finally hits me that this is happening tbh.

Not much to report here, except twinges are getting ever more difficult to ignore. Lost quite a bit of gunk (sorry TMI - if that's even possible for us!) over the past couple of days, so hoping that's the mucous plug coming away and the start of things moving in the right direction. Also feeling very pre-menstrual and heavy down there. That, coupled with the hideous red hot poker sensation in my cervix, is making me cross my fingers that I might have an easier time of when I get into established labour this time around. We can but dream, eh? Bump has taken on epic proportions. I just look silly now! Even I don't know how I'm still holding it up. I went into work the other morning and my colleague virtually wet himself laughing at me. He was amazed I could walk, apparently. Hmmmmm.

Right, back to symptom spotting and occasionally wincing. Love to you all. xxx

Waves to mumatron! X post. xx

Evening all! Got home this afternoon, SIL and boyfriend arrived for weekend visit two hours later but I have encouraged DH to take them to the pub and am sitting here alone with cava, computer and kids unconscious upstairs . (Should point out am v fond of SIL and her BF seems lovely, but a bit of alone time after a week of family is most welcome).

Holiday was mostly lovely. Weather dodgy, but house great, food terrific, town as charming as ever and everyone mostly got on very well.

Until last night, when DS1 threw a MEGA tantrum at bedtime which took DH half an hour to deal with (was time-out-stand off thing which started because DS1 was swearing).

My dad, who adores DS1, took exception to DH's style and slammed out of the house yelling that he 'wasn't going to be civil about it'. I am assuming this is what happened because no-one would actually tell me, and Dad wouldn't speak to DH all evening when he finally returned. Tosser. WWYD? Dad doesn't actually discuss stuff, ever, but I am v upset and offended on DH's behalf.

Sigh. Hate it when nice things end on a sour note.

Anyway. Glad you pg ladies are still hanging in there, and even gladder that I'm not any more . Seriously, muchly sympathy to you Coconuts, MummyA and glittery, not so long to go now and you WILL be cuddling your lovely newborns.

Lunatic, another one hoping the ADs are kicking in and things are starting to look a bit brighter for you.

Julez, how was Oliver's appointment? His weight sounds pretty good to me although admittedly I'm operating on a different scale ATM... BTW, am hoping you held off sending the nappies? Got home today and there wasn't a little postie card waiting...

Mumatron hope all well and look forward to your update.

F continues to beam at any woman in the vicinity, BTW, and has taken to weaning quite well, if a bit more disturbed in the evenings which am assuming is his stomach complaining. It's his consultant appt on Monday - am trying not to be pathetic but I am v nervous. Feels like an exam I haven't revised enough for!

And on further note of fear, Sunday is DS1's first ever birthday party (shameful, since he's going to be four - four! My baby! Waaaah! etc etc etc). Is is soft play, 12 are due to come, all I have to do is fill some party bags but I am bricking it in case no-one comes. Wish us luck...

lf you! I'm here, just trying to work up the courage to start the massive post i need to do. :(

Oooh yes, I don't think my post reflected the squee! factor of Glittery's news!

Good luck good luck good luck, pleeease keep us updated if you can - will be checking in as often as possible!

glittery OMG! how exciting. I predict the baby will be here sunday morning, early hours.

laf congrats and I will keep everything crossed for you.

damn battery is going on laptop and i have no idea where charger is.

i'll post this for now and do the rest from my phone in a little while.

oooh Glittery looks like things are happening! I wont type anything any more because brain has obviously melted in the heat and everything would just come out gibberish... apologies to julez lunatic and loopy (whoever you are)