Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.
I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.
I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond
543 replies
Glitterybits · 06/07/2011 21:53
OP posts:
LunaticFringe ·
29/07/2011 22:07
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mumatron ·
29/07/2011 22:24
dd1 kept asking me if I was ok earlier, she was taken aback by my sudden outburst of tears 
I'm trying to upload a video of E, cant seem to get it off the camera. it's very funny. She's playing peek-a-boo with dd1. she's putting her blanket over her face then when dd1 ask's where she's gone she 's doing a rather dramatic reveal with much hysterical laughter. t'is very cute. I'm sure she's 6 instead of 6 months.
mumatron ·
30/07/2011 11:14
coconuts I love cooking. just stick to the recipes and you should be okay.
onto other news, just had a phone call from my mum, she's won some money ten grand! 
lucky cow, eh?
LunaticFringe ·
30/07/2011 19:47
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mumatron ·
30/07/2011 20:59
lf yes, online bingo. lucky sod
lucky nice to 'see' you. How are things with you?
stillfrazzled ·
31/07/2011 22:47
mumatron, how fab. Obv is her money and all that, but hopefully a little help might come your way, too?
Lunatic, go go go you! Are you using gum or anything, or going cold turkey? I gave up about seven years ago, and was awful for a while but now not remotely tempted to go back. You'll get there. Glad L happy again, too.
Hi to everyone else, and hope Glittery's still blissfully squidging little I. BTW please tell me you didn't have to clean up yourself?
Had mixed weekend. DH met my dad (at dad's request) to sort out the 'situation'. Dad, instead of apologising for being a twat like any actual human being would, spent 20 mins telling DH what a fab DS1 we have and how we're too hard on him because he's a lovely lad (or to put it another way: why do you think he's nice, genius?)
At end of meeting, we were fully apprised of where we're going wrong (while still being wonderful parents, apparently 
), and he 'wished he could say he was sorry'. Which to me is another way of saying he isn't. Grrrrrr 
. Will be seeing him tomorrow. Am considering Saying Something.
Y'day went to see friend, meet her gloriously cute and scrunched-up newborn DS2 (am a bit broody but don't tell DH) and take DS1 to her lad's bday party, which was lovely. And today all four of us took the train to the next town along, had an impulse dinner out at a pub overlooking the sea, and the train home. It was wonderful.
But while DH and I sat having a beer and enjoying the last episode of Summer Heights High, DH kept getting distracted by a suspicious scritching noise down the side of the sofa. I played it down, but he's gone to bed now and I have to admit, I think we've got MICE. Gaaah. Is our fault for letting DS1 eat his tea off trays in the living room. His crumb-dropping skills are spectacular...
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts ·
01/08/2011 16:09
Hi all. Hope you are all out enjoying the sunshine. I am far too pregnant to enjoy it. It is grim.
mumatron How fab for your mum, lucky lady! Send some my way :) Luck that is, not the money... although the money would be nice haha!
lunatic Yes pretty daunting and nervewracking but kind of exciting at the same time. Goodbye jars and prepack sauces! Hello cornflour lol! Well done you for quitting the smokes :) I quit when I got pregnant the time before DD, although it ended in mc I still stayed quit after and fell preg with DD within a month so have never had the inclination to re start and that is over four years ago now.
glittery Hope you are still in a bubble of newborn bliss and hope I is doing well feeding. Still a bit WOOHOO for you!!
frazzled Grr at your dad's unapologetic ways. Are you planning to Say Something? Your Saturday sounds lovely.... but mice?! Eek! I'm not squirmish about these things at all (used to have pet rats) although I don't think I'd appreciate wild mice moving into my home.
mummy How are things with you on the doctor front?
lucky So good to see you, how are things going for you?
LAF Hope things are ok your end too. Everything tightly crossed for you :) Sticky vibes coming your way from me.
Big waves to justmee
Oooh I am so pleased I have that busy week out the way... I am so tired. It is so hard becasuse DH is always at work so when he finally gets a week off he wants to do things as a family, days out etc, but I just haven't got the physical capacity to do it anymore. I don't expect him to fully understand how tiring it is growing a baby but a bit of understanding wouldn';t go amiss sometimes. We ended up going out practically everyday, two days of which involved long journies and lots of walking. Grr. Bloody men!!
Had my 31 week appt today. All fine with me and baby although measuring at 34 weeks already so still 3 weeks ahead. MW said that I am at the high end of normal though and they won't be overly concerned unless it shoots up to over three weeks ahead. We know I don't have the GD from the GTT so no health implications of him being big.
She tried to reassure me about birth generally being easier second time round and explained alot to me about how positions of baby during labour matter so much. I was always told throught labouring with DD that I was pushing wrong, that's why I had to have the intervention and have had three years thinking it was my fault but she has reassured me that it was more than likely her head looking upwards instead of downwards. And she said something very obvious... if everyones labour was the same and easy we wouldn't need doctors and they are there for a reason.
So the long and short of it was to wait until my 34week appt, see how big I am then and then decide on a plan of action. I really do have the best MW ever and it is such a shame she wont be there to labour with me. She makes me feel so welcome and never rushes me in and out. I was in there 35 minutes today. amazing woman :)
Anyway I'm waffling now, must get on!
LunaticFringe ·
01/08/2011 20:59
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ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts ·
01/08/2011 21:11
No paddling pool unfortunately lunatic... No garden :( Boo! We put our feet in a bowl of cool water this afternnon after the long walk back from the MW, that was nice and I spent the rest of the afternoon cooking dinner in my pants and top! We're on the first floor so no chance of neighbours seeing me in my granny pants!
DH is usually really understanding, I feel bad moaning about him! This is something he'll never understand though. It's easy for him to feel the kicks and rub my back when I've got back ache but he doesn't know how it feels from the inside. To have a foot get stuck behind a rib is something I cannot explain!
And you sound like me... to embarrassed to push properly in case I did a poo but now I know how bad stitches feel I'd rather have a little poo on a table than not sit down for a fortnight again
What ADs are you on? Can you change to something without a sedative in? I'm not that clued up on what there is out there but my mum has spent her whole adult life on ADs so I know how much of a difference ones without a sedative can make. She finally made the break and went cold turkey without them a few months ago (a bad move IMO) but she's pleased to be off them and feel a bit more awake.
LunaticFringe ·
01/08/2011 21:23
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mumatron ·
01/08/2011 21:30
frazzled at the mouse! I hate them. We had one in our old house, it was in dd1's room and we were all too scared to go in there. We ended up letting the dog in there and she had it in about 2 seconds. I'm sure it was from where next door moved out and let loads of crap next door.
lf well done on staying off the smokes. No experience of ad's so can't advise there. Worth speaking to gp about? Are they having a positive effect though?
cococnuts lovely image of you in your pants cooking! ( All homemade food I hope?) I am currently on my bed in a vest and knickers. T'is reallly not an attractive sight :(
Wrt to incorrect pushing, I was definitely pushing wrong with ds. It took about an hour before I would do it as I was told, I was also scared of pooing once I got the hang of it those babies flew out! Both dd's were born in just a few pushes.
Feeling a bit crappy here, E is poorly. Just a temp and a bit of a grump but not sleeping great
Also having a few issues with dp. Nothing too dramatic but enough to piss me off. Also feeling like crap physically. Struggling to lose some excess weight and just generally feeling very drab :(
Ah well, I'm sure things will improve. And hopefully mum will passing on some of the winnings! Well, at least a shopping trip would do
stillfrazzled ·
01/08/2011 22:33
Hmm. Well the latest on the mouse front is that I've been round the entire house and haven't found any signs of actual mice - no turds, chewed bits or anything. But the scritching behind the skirting boards suggests the little bastards are still trying to get in. I am under siege and will be calling in reinforcements (aka the council's Mouse Man) tomorrow.
Did not say anything to Dad. Almost literally, in fact - hello and goodbye and a couple of remarks. Couldn't be arsed. May email him. Twat. can you tell I'm still cross?
One interesting thing from today: I suddenly decided to check F's length for myself. The nurse reckoned he was 59.5cm but measured him wearing a massive cloth nappy and didn't really push his legs down. I stripped him and straightened him out and measured him very carefully three times, and got 62cm every time. Which, corrected for age, puts him on the charts (just) and means he has shown some catch-up growth.
Am I being silly to go on my own measurement rather than a nurse's? It seems unlikely that he's grown over an inch since last Monday...
Lunatic good god, I'd totally not thought about the fact that you've just had a baby. Which under the circs is pretty dim of me. V sorry, didn't mean to cast aspersions about smoking in pg . Still yay you for giving up, though.
I know nothing about ADs but you'd certainly hope they wouldn't have been prescribed to a bf mother if they were going to cause a problem. FWIW, F has slept quite a bit more since starting on solids, and I remember DS1 suddenly settling down to proper sleeps instead of little catnaps at about that age. So hopefully it's that.
Mumatron sympathy for your crap time. Am wishing you DP stopping doing whatever it is that's getting to you and E to get a decent night's sleep so you can.
On the weight front, I've lost a bit lately using a really good website called MyFitnessPal. It takes your weight, your exercise levels and where you want to get to, gives you a calorie total for each day, and you keep a food and exercise diary so it can tell you how you're doing. There's a massive database of practically every food ever, so it's really easy. And it's free and there's an iPhone app. Maybe set yourself a target and then go on the shopping trip for lovely new clothes?
Coconuts sympathy to you, too; being pg when it's really hot is so hard. And I only remember that from first time round, so doing it with a DC in tow must be doubly so. Really glad your midwife is so fab, though.
And the image of you cooking in your shreddies made me LOL, literally. 
MummyAbroad ·
02/08/2011 14:30
Hi ladies.
All's well over this end of the world, still run off my feet with translation work, DS and am starting driving lesson tommorrow
Still not got a doctor (apart from the regular check ups on the state system who are very good at doing urine and blood pressure checks) but I know have two appointments with new docs and a third recommendation from a friend to chase up. Just hoping that one of them I like! Fertility friend told me I have just started my third trimester - cant believe how fast that has gone! With DS the whole 9 months seemed to last forever, but there has been so much to do/worry about this time its really going fast.
Lunatic if you have any spare time to read I really recommend Alan Cars "How to give up smoking the easy way" even if you have already quit. I quit once for 3 years, but always felt a bit of a longing, when I moved to costa rica I started up again. Fast forward years, later I read that book, quit very easily and now I know for sure 100% that I will never be a smoker ever again. Its very good at "brainwashing" you into being a real anti smoker forever and will totally remove any longing/jealousy of smokers that may still be lingering. I have a PDF copy of it too if you want me to mail it to you.
Stillfrazzled Dont Say Anything or send the email. You will only get dragged into some unpleasant conversation that you can well do without, just spend time enjoying your kids and remembering what a great mum you are (you dont need other people to give their approval or tell you that, you know deep down thats how it is and that is all that counts) and remember the best revenge is just moving on and showing the people concerned how happy you and your family are. They will find it harder and harder to criticise when they see what well adjusted contented people you all are, and if they do, just ignore it. The last thing you need as a new mum is do have to deal with all that rubbish, and they will give up criticising when they see that you just shrug them off and it has no effect whatsoever.
coconuts just flake out on the sofa and wail! No need to put on a brave face, just collapse and declare you cant move - DH will be a bit more considerate about how much he asks you to do in future!
Glittery big squeeze for you and LO. Still smiling for you.
HI justmee and Lucky good to hear from you. Justmee does eating ice lollies help? i have tons of them in the freezer for hot days here.
mumatron sorry you are feeling like crap. Loosing weight takes ages, but haircuts give you a quick lift! Can you treat yourself to a new do to cheer yourself up?
sorry if I have missed anyone - this thread is getting mighty busy! xxx
stillfrazzled ·
03/08/2011 14:11
LAF, that's fabulous. So so pleased for you.
After so much turmoil and heartache, long-term plans are going to feel very weird - but things are looking as good as they possibly can at the moment
Can't believe they're being so pushy about the hospital already, though. How much further away is the other one?
Glitterybits ·
03/08/2011 17:18
Ah, you wonderful ladies. Thanks so much for all your lovely messages. Made me have a little snivel, although the day 3 hormone overload seems to have completely passed me by this time, thankfully. Last time around I was weeping and hysterically laughing at the same time. Just had the one weak moment when a Great Ormond hospital advert came on, but that's nothing to do with hormones! My doctor has told me to be on red alert for PND. No surprises there, but, aside from afterpains I generally feel much better physically and mentally than last time.
Have spent the last few days/ nights in a blur of feeding. Thankfully DD LOVES feeding and it's been so much easier this time around. Unfortunately, she's so ridiculously hungry that there isn't time to get much else done! I will try and upload a picture when I get chance. She's looking less sumo wrestler, more chubby little DS lookalike now, though we still have no idea where her hair comes from!
frazzled Unfortunately, much of the cleaning/ tidying was left to us because it was unplanned and the midwife was on her own. Thankfully, my wonderful sister helped massively - she's a nurse, so not exactly squeamish - and DH was pretty damn amazing. Brings a whole new meaning to the man 'getting hot water and towels'! He literally had to do that - and now we need to go shopping to replace everything! I do feel that the care during this pg and birth has been somewhat shonky. Obviously, I'm supremely grateful that everything was okay and pretty much textbook, but it irritates me that they still don't think women know their own bodies - even when they've done it before - and especially when they have a history.
I would not opt for a homebirth if I did it again (not that I'm going to!) as the unplanned version was ever so slightly scary, but we're very lucky that everyone is safe and sound and it was fab to be left at home in my own surroundings very quickly after the birth. It turns out that the reason I only had one midwife was because the other one had been called out to another unplanned homebirth and all of the hospitals were full. God only knows how many people were fobbed off - ready or not! It worries me slightly that not everyone will have had as straightforward an experience as we did, but I have never known relief like it when I heard her cry.
Eeek on the mouse front. We had rats (we think) not long ago living in the loft, but nobody could find the little buggers. Called pest control out and they confirmed that they weren't living there as there was no food or water source, but they'd clearly passed through and had a little party in the cavity walls at some stage, because we found a few really old droppings and chewed stuff. They reckoned our neighbours must have been infested and done nothing about it. Ewwwwwww! We even set up a webcam, but they seemed to disappear once we'd blocked off a disused drain outside our house. Horrible hearing them though. You almost want to find them, but don't at the same time.
I don't know what to say about your Dad and DH. It's obviously going to fester if you don't resolve it though. Might it be worth having a quiet word with your Dad about the fact that whilst you respect his thoughts and views on parenting, he really has no place to criticise DH on his methods and you support his actions wholeheartedly because you don't want your children to swear? Perhaps a lot of this is down to the fact that you weren't there to witness what actually happened. Not easy to apportion blame or defend people when no one will explain the situation to you. Whatever the case, I'm sure your DS has totally forgotten all about it now. Seems a little pointless to bear a grudge, but I'd be exactly the same in your shoes!
LAF What wonderful, wonderful news. The first hurdle overcome. I am so happy for you and I hope the next 8 months or so are uneventful and happy. Don't feel too pressured into making a decision on the delivery just yet. You are well within your rights to change your mind as your pregnancy progresses. I know I did!
MummyA Good luck with the driving lessons. You certainly know how to challenge yourself, don't you? Fingers crossed you find a doctor you like soon. You're into the home strait now!
Btw, there is no reason, apparently, why your placenta should stay put again, just because it happened last time. You have a slightly stronger chance if it's in the same site on any slightly scarred tissue, but it's not a certainty. Mine came away fairly easily, but it still didn't stop them tugging on the bloody cord. Ouch!
justmee Those pregnancy mood hormones are awful. You have my sympathy. It really doesn't help when you're so hot too. Get back in the pool and try to relax as much as you can. I couldn't even stand the humidity here, so there's be no hope for me in a warmer climate.
Coconuts I, too, felt really bad about feeling rubbish towards the end of my pg. There were times where I felt like apologising every single day for being unable to do the things I wanted to do with my family. But, you are heavily pg and are bound to be tired and more than a bit fed up. You won't be pg forever and, whilst it's hard for our other halves in the short-term, it will soon be a distant memory when that little bundle of joy arrives. Give yourself a break and don't feel bad about it. FWIW I tried very hard to put my feet up and not feel guilty about it, but I still ended up mowing the lawn a few days before I gave birth. Wish I'd been able to practise what I preach, because there's certainly no rest to be had now! It's very worth it though.
Oh, and the incorrect pushing thing. I tried so hard with DS to retain some level of dignity in front of my DH during the birth, but that quickly flew out of the window with DD. I remember being scared of pooing and then realising that the amount of blood and other stuff my poor DH had witnessed up to that point was way worse than a discreet little tod! You also reach that point where you're so desperate to get them out that you really don't care anymore...until afterwards. It's great being a woman, isn't it? I doubt my DH will ever want to come near me again.
What I would say is that your chances of a posterior baby are a little higher with an anterior placenta. This isn't to scare you! It just might mean that your lo is looking up instead of down again, but there really is little point worrying about something you won't know about until in labour. Whilst it wasn't comfortable (what labour is?) I still managed to get DD out quicker than I did with DS and it was only afterwards that the midwife told me she was facing the wrong way and I felt better about my coping skills.
mumatron With you on feeling crappy wrt excess weight. I look as though someone has deflated a beach ball and stuck it to my front. I know it's really early days but Iz is feeding so much that I'm just permanently starving. Add to that the lack of sleep and all I really want to eat is sugar!!!
Lovely Lunatic thanks ever so much for your message. It is so surreal to be sitting here listening to snuffly little squeaky baby noises next to me. I literally can't believe she's here and yet I can't imagine her not being here. It's very odd and I'm not sure it's completely sunk in yet. I keep expecting a crying fit, but it hasn't happened. DS utterly adores her, in a rather heavy-handed way, but he's still not really recovered from the night she arrived. Since then, it's just been a whirlwind of activity at this end. Visitors every five minutes and lots of new big brother presents, so it must feel like it's his birthday every day. We're all completely full of cold too, so feeling generally drained on top of the sleep deprivation, but we'll get there.
Right, I can hear definite "I'm hungry" noises, so I'll love you and leave you for now and try and come back as soon as I can. Hope I haven't missed anybody.
OP posts:
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts ·
03/08/2011 18:24
Absolutely amazed at your capability of an epic catch up so soon after having a baby glittery You're superwoman surely!? So pleased I is feeding well and you're finding it easier than DS and great news that DS is coping ok.
I definitely am going to try and poo while pushing this time as I really want to try and have a better time of it, whilst not putting too much pressure on myself mentally at the same time. Is posterior back to back? I think DD was back to back so I'm prepared for that!
A shame you had to clear up yourself and an even bigger shame you have to buy new things as they weren't covered but I suppose you have quite a dramatic birth story to tell to I when she is older :)
I'm still grinning for you :) :)
LAF Absolutely fab news. :) Really pleased things are going as well as can be. Planning for the longterm is going to be very hard mentally. At almost 32 weeks I still haven't planned for the impending arrival! Give yourself time, it will feel surreal for a very long time! Don't worry too much about deciding on hospitals so soon. Even if you make a decision to humour the hospital you can still change your mind. The measurements are definitely reassuring. Fingers tightly crossed for you :)
I am so tired and hot and crabby! Took DD to a toddler group thing today for the first time and as soon as I walked through the door, four different people commented about how close to EDD I must be. Erm, nope still 2 months to go. Their faces were A lady there was overdue and smaller than me!
Got caught out in the pissing rain today in flip flops and a maxi dress. Kept falling out of my flip flops and my dress was stuck to me like cling film. The epitome of attractiveness!!
LunaticFringe ·
03/08/2011 21:48
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