Recurrent Buns Graduates - Pregnancy and Beyond

[Glitterybits]

Thought it was about time we had a new home for all those lovely ladies who used to frequent the original Recurrent Buns thread, or anyone else who has been through the hideous journey of miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, infertility, testing etc. and now finds themselves either pregnant and in need of hand-holding (or better yet) with their long-awaited bundle(s) of joy.

I know it perhaps seems a little inappropriate to start a thread in the miscarriage topic but it still seems the most relevant spot for those of us who haven't yet completed the journey - and nowhere else really seemed right or fair to everyone.

I do hope you'll come along and say hello. I do miss you all!

Hi all! Sorry about dropping off the radar for a bit. Life has been ever so slightly mental and hectic to say the very least.

mumatron I hope you are feeling much better. Anxiety is a cruel, cruel thing. I think a lot of us have been there and got the t-shirt in terms of occasional battles with anxiety and depression, but it can be very debilitating.

Julez Hope things are looking up a bit for you. It did sound as though the fates were piling it on you a bit.

Coconuts DD is a loud singer at night and permanently hungry, so things are not very restful for me. Hope your cot move works out. Considering moving her into her own room, but reluctant as she'll be sharing with DS and the lazy bit of me hates the thought of getting out of my warm bed to feed her every 3 seconds. Having said that, I barely get to bed most nights. She's 12 weeks now (where did that go???) so really feel that I should bite the bullet in an effort to get some sort of relationship with my DH back as I barely see/ speak to him at the mo. I'm still loving it though. She's an absolute delight and it's all i can do not to gobble her up some days!

justmee Still thinking of you and sending you love and strength. xxxxx

frazzled You sound like superwoman, although my schedule is getting ever so slightly ridiculous too. I have taken to showering at night and praying for DD to go to sleep the right side of midnight, but it doesn't seem to be working. DS needs dropping off at school in the middle of the day and I'm often trying to work both sides of that whilst bfing. Tis somewhat mad and I'm occasionally resentful that I can't just stay at home cuddling DD, but I think it's doing me some good to get out and do stuff. Just need to sleep occasionally too.

Lunatic Glad you had a nice anniversary. Hope things are pootling along nicely at that end.

digi How are you doing?

MummyA What news? Driving yet?

All fairly good here. Ridiculously busy. I spend most of my time running around like a headless chicken and achieving almost nothing, but I'm trying to juggle work, home and kids on next to no sleep. As frazzled said, it will be interesting to see how long I can keep it up, but so far I'm just about coping. Am a bit of a shouty Mummy though, and there are days when I feel as though I'm doing everything badly. Still struggling with nightsweats and I'm an awful shape, which is getting me down a bit. Maternity clothes are like tents, but everything else highlights the muffin top because it's too tight. Really want to lose about a stone and a half and get my tummy back to a less flabby mess, but my abdominals seem to have separated, and I'm not sure it's a good idea to do anything too quickly. I know it's only been 12 weeks, but I'm not at all patient and there are times that 12 weeks seems like forever, particularly when I see how big DD is getting. I'm frightened of wanting another and even more frightened that I'm not enjoying this as much as i possibly can before she grows up. Still bonkers then!

12 weeks glittery???? How is that possible!!? I'm not BF so I don't really know how it all works but does DD sleep for quite a while at night? Or is feeding still pretty much on demand at this stage? It is nice to get out and about. i have to do the playschool run everyday and it is something that I hate doing at the time but I am glad I have been getting some fresh air and exercise everyday.

The weight loss is something that I need ot get on track with too. i know it's only been three weeks but I was a 12 before I got pregnant and am now wearing size 16 stuff My tummy looks like crepe paper and the muffin top is, too, my nemesis. My abdos are separated too, never went back after DD and after the polyhydramnious they are in a terrible state. I would estimate they are at about 3cm so I really need to work on those. I used to frequent the gym pretty regularly so will get back to it after my postnatal.

As for things with DH, well.... I speak to mine and that's about it Until I've had my stitches checked at the postnatal things are a no go. My episiotomy was an extended one and is rather alot worse than i anticipated so I am very nervous of things.

I too am very scared of wanting another. I know that there is no way on this earth I would have another but I am scared of that feeling where I need to get pregnant. The feeling that drove me to near insanity before DS. I don't ever want that again.

The boy is currently sleeping and I'm about to have a well deserved bath :)

Hi ladies,

havent read or caught up with anything, still struggling to raise DS as a single mum, be pregnant and work part time as a translator!

I am 38 weeks today - have a huge long list of pregnancy woes (choosing to ignore them all today, so I'll spare you the gory details) but the end is in sight!! Hope to read back/catch up with you all at the weekend.

xxxx

Coconuts stop being mad. It is a tribute to how well you must be coping that you can even THINK about your weight, but honestly, give yourself a bit more time. (Disclaimer: what with SCBU and being in a right state about F I actually put on weight after he was born, what with chucking down chocolate and wine like it was going out of style. But still, I have a point dammit).

I kind of worry about wanting another as well. Because I emphatically DO NOT want to be pg again or go through that hideous worry again - and really, given how this pg ended there is NO point at which we would be feeling safe. And I do want to get back on track with work, and life generally. And a social life while we still can. And holidays and houses and childcare and everything else are way easier for a family of four.

And yet... the NEED to be pg is not something you can rationalise, is it? I suppose I will have to wait and see.

MummyA glad all going well and crossing fingers for a lovely easy birth. I can start watching out for your update now!

Glittery Supermum? Pah. I wish. I have a lovely childminder, husband and mum who are helping me keep the show on the road. And am considering a cleaner - would you? The house is a pit, although the kids and I do make it out in clean clothes every day. So all fine as long as we never have guests again .

Don't worry about being Horrible Shouty Mummy. I went through periods of being a right cow; combo, I think, of sleep deprivation and DS1 being difficult post-baby. It passed and he's not only forgiven but forgotten.

Not much to report: F has finally cut first tooth but is in a state; hot and miserable (very uncharacteristic). Can crawl in a Quasimodo-stylee, dragging one leg, but prefers to sit and yell till you bring him whatever it is he wants/pick him up. I am well trained.

We go away on Monday for a few days, is a tiny house in a town two hours away that I've long wanted to see. I am very unambitious re hols these days: ideal is somewhere two hours' drive away so I can buy what we've forgotten or, if necessary, nip back for it .

F is getting to the point of giving up bfing, mostly I suspect because most days I can only feed a maximum of twice due to work. He's fine with it and forgetting already (keeps trying to latch on to my shoulder and the wrong bit of boob and all sorts) but I'm bereft. Feel I'm losing the last thing only I can do for him. When really I should feel pleased we managed it at all. Am not logical.

Love to everyone else.

frazzled I am mad! I put too much pressure on myself I think. to lose weight, to look like I haven't just had a baby. I had a lot of weight issues when I was a teenager so I find it hard to think 'stuff it' and carry on.

I am too Horrible Shouty Mummy at the moment. DD was fantastic when DS first was born but the last week I think the novelty of it has worn off and she has been a bit of a shitbag! A little attention seeking and even more stubborn than usual.

Hope you have a nice time away this week :) And you should definitely be proud that you managed BFing, t'is hard going and I only did 6 days, couldn't imagine doing it for months. There are so many other things you do for him :)

mummy Hope things at home are going ok and yo are all prepared, not long and all the pregnancy woes will be long forgotten. I felt better after giving birth than I had done for months! Can't wait to read of your announcement. I remember the first thread we were on together, when you advised me about PCOS and now we've both got to the finish line :)

I'm kind of relieved to hear I'm not alone in the shouty Mummy department. Some days I think it's DS who is driving me mad and others I think I am being totally irrational. I guess it's to be expected from both of us right now. I'm getting no sleep and he's trying to cope with school and a new sibling. We're both human and I should probably try to stop rationalising everything.

frazzled I'm terrified of the day when DD stops breastfeeding. I feel like it's such an achievement for us both and the bond between us is very strong as a result. I guess it's important to feel so needed, but it's making me needy and a bit bonkers. Beginning to understand why some women feed for too so long now. I'm finally understanding how it's hard to let go of the thing that makes them need you and only you. I suppose there's also of an element of it potentially being the last time we'll do it. It's very hard. Much like needing to get pregnant and every other aspect of this, there is no logic, so try not to be too hard on yourself. I think you're entitled to feel a bit sad about it tbh.

Coconuts I put too much pressure on myself too. Why I feel the need to look as though I haven't just had a baby, when I have just had a massive baby, I don't know!

MummyA So close and so very exciting! I hope you are feeling okay and the stress of being a single parent isn't getting you down too much. Like Coconuts I definitely cope better in a non-pregnant state, despite being so tired all the time. Best of luck. Look forward to hearing about your new arrival.

Love to everyone else!

Hi all,
6 days left to go - C- section is booked for November 1st !!!!!

coconuts so true about feeling good at being at the finish line - those PCOS conversations do seem like a lifetime ago...

BUT - the universe is seeing fit to send me one last trial...

Had a scan yesterday and apparently babies abdominal circumferance is very big, will be rescanned on Friday to see if it looks the same, if so, baby will need to be whisked off after birth for an operation. However, it may be nothing at all, Friday's scan will confirm or rule out problems.

I am determined not to worry about it too much, there is absolutely nothing I can do before knowing on Friday and I feel like I have used up all the energy I had for worrying in the early stages of this pregnancy and there is no more left!

The good news is that there doesnt seem to be any obvious signs of placental problems which was my big worry early on, hopefully the op, and thin lining etc, will be of no consequence.

For those that were asking about driving - I am afraid I failed the test ("over use of clutch" WTF?!!! [hangry]) and then SPD got really uncomfy so I couldnt retake. Will have to wait a good while now for post c-sec recovery, but it will get done eventually!

Sorry to hear about all your new mummy woes (its scary to be honest! - It'll be my turn soon ) Special sympathies to all the Shouty Mummies. I have been a bit S.M. over the last few months, but I have just read "How to Talk so Children Will Listen and Listen so Children Will Talk" and also "Sibling Rivarly" both by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. I really recommend both books, it has made a huge difference. The only problem is that often sometimes I am so tired/exhausted that although I know what I should be saying or doing, I just revert back to S.M. to get stuff done quicker and then feel more guilty than usual about it having read about what the consequences of that will be!

Sorry for lack of personals, wish I had more time to catch up with you individually, i have not forgotton you and will never stop appreciating all the wonderful support you have all shown throughout this pregnancy, and before that. Big kiss to each of you. xxxx

6 days!!!??? I am so excited for you!

Large abdo circumference doesn't necessarily mean anything though does it?Perhaps you just have a big one! I think T's abdo circumference was on 99th %ile.

I might have a look at those books, I need to really do better with DD.

We all have colds :( DS is on ABs for a chest infection bless him. he cant suck properly, struggling to breathe, terrible cough = no sleep for me for the fear he'll stop breathing, even though we have a breathing monitor thing.

I've been at the doctors too with some issues leftover from birth in the toilet dept so im hoping to get sorted soon.

DHs phone took a swim in the bath so no way of speaking to him in the day either. one thing after another here.

love to all xx

lunatic Yes, got the all clear. All a big fuss about nothing! Apparently the bubble she saw in his tummy had disappeared and his stomach size is normal now (must confess didnt ever really understand the details, I just got that cold feeling you get when they start giving you bad news, and it makes you forget all the facts they are telling you) anyway, I have a normal healthy bub in there

Also I have decided not to do that "other thing", partly because of the response from the thread, and partly because I dont see how it would be physically possible at this stage - peeing in a cup is hard enough!

Thanks for posting the tips though, I will bear them in mind if I ever need to do it in the future, must say I was expecting some gory details on the other thread and was surprised not to get any. All is right in MN land again now though

coconuts sorry you are having post birth difficulties. I did after DS too, its no fun at all. Hope doc can sort you out quick.

So, my c-section is booked for tuesday, DS2's birthday will be 1/11/11

Might be back later to do some moaning, these last few days are HARD!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Just coming on to say good luck mummy. will FB you also in case you don't get on here to read before tomorrow's bog day.

Uber excited over here for you! Can't wait for the announcement of babyabroad :)

Oh FFS big day!

mummy good luck for today. Not sure how the time diff works, hopefully you get a chance to read before going in. Love the date of birth! My eldest dc have a memorable dob, they love it.

coconuts can you let her know via fb that I send her lots of good luck vibes! Thanks.

to everyone else. Will be back to catch up later.

She has copied me into an email group and asked me to update here so I will come on and update as soon as i hear. We have to bear the time difference in mind also, which i have no idea about. I'm sure it's 7 hours but I don't know in which direction lol

Right, should have looked at my emails before MN. Operation is 8.30am her time which is 14.30 UK time. We should hear something within an hour or two when she is all sewn up etc so I'll be hittin F5 on my emails frantically after that! She abviously knows the times and dates it will all happen and wants to know if anyone wants to guess the weight.

hmmm, 8lb 2oz is my guess.

Weird how were all chatting about it and shes not even out of bed yet lol xx

No news yet... Checking my email inbox frantically! Have had three false alarms so far!

Been trying to get on here all day. Frantically excited/ nervous for you MummyA. Wishing you all the luck in the world. I'm guessing your lo is here now? xxx

Section was at 2.30 glittery so should definitely be all over with now. she said recovery/stitching should take 1.5hours and that her friend would email us (people on her list) shortly after that. Hope all is ok. I'm feeling very nervous now. but fully understand emails are last on list of priority when snuggling with a baby. no smartphones over in CR so update will have to come via PC I think.

Well as she hasn't updated yet I'll place my bet at 7lb 9oz.

Will keep checking back and will try to catch up later.

We have news from CR! Email received 19.10.

mummy gave birth to Max at 09.33 CR time (15.33 UK time) weighing 3.3kg / 7lb 4oz and measuring 48cm. He is doing well and is reportedly beautiful, not that I'd expect otherwise!

Unfortunately, mummya suffered placenta acreta and needed an extra operation but is recovering well and although groggy from GA has been sitting with Max in her arms and is doing fine.

Fabulous news and many congratulations and wishes of a speedy recovery :)