Recurrent Buns - Miscarriage Testing and Beyond! Part three..!

[Julezboo]

Not so imaginative as lunatic !

Part One HERE

Part Two HERE

There are a mixture of Pg ladies, new BFP's (YAY) and new ladies who have sadly had to join us and are going through testing. Lots of OMW's and hand holding here!

Sit down, grab a cushion and a hot choc and get comfortable.

Hi all, I just wanted to say a huge thankyou for helping me through this mc. It finally happened at 1am on Thursday night. Its wierd but as soon as I passed the sac I immediately felt different and the contractions stopped. DH was on nights but my Mum came to be with me as I always get scared I'll bleed to death - stupid I know. I am still bleeding but its getting less, however I have got a nasty ache in the muscles that contracted which reminds me of post labour with DD. Feel incredibly sad and empty now but those that are pregnant give me hope so I am willing you on and wish you all the very best luck in the world.

LAF You are so very brave and tolerant of those at work. I really feel for you in such an enviornment and I also understand your trepidation about your local hospital. I wasn't accurately diagnosed and treated for my endometriosis until I found my brilliant consultant after 18m of desperation. Thank goodness he also runs a recurrent MC clinic or I would be back to square one. I am willing you to get your referal to St Mary's and the tests you need. I too will not be TTC and avoiding any accidents - this seems so strange for me as I have spent the last 12m trying. I don't know if I can handle going through this again so need test results to give me the guts to go on if we can put a plan in place.

Mummy I am so sorry that things have not progressed as you had hoped, however Glittery has wise words which I agree with. When I had surgery for my endometriosis I was advised to wait 6m before TTC as it would take that long for my endometrium to get back to normal. I know its a totally different op and i didn't have hormone therapy but it just shows that surgery is a major event that your body has to get over and every woman is different. I have absolutely no patience myself and want my test results now so I'm not going to say "be patient" cos for me its impossible but it is good news that things are improving and even if your lining takes longer thn you hoped it is moving in the right direction.

Yellowtomato and LAF thanks both for the info on AMH. I believe I am having this test in 6w time so I will let you know the outcome and be sure to ask lots of questions which I will share on here. Welcome Yellow and sorry you are having to experience this.

Coconuts I'm sorry you are having a teary day and I really get what you said about your neighbour. I took DD to preschool last Friday after the fateful scan and literally every adult female in the room (with the exception of the teachers) was pregnant or carrying a baby is car seat. I took a deep breath and did some chanting in my head to get through the drop off. I nearly managed to make it back to my car and another Mum waved hello and asked me how I was. Well, I totally lost it, was sobbing on the roof of the car with my head in my hands - there was snot and everything. I just ignored her efforts to comfort me and leapt into the car and drove off. This will now be all round pre-school and I will be hailed as the mental Mum but what can you do at the mercy of hormones?

Big hugs to all and Digital sorry about my stupid ignorant comment about the Ov test sticks. I didn't realise you had PCOS and that they can give a wrong reading. It must bloody frustrating for those out there with an irregular cycle and no real means of knowing when to SWI. It only happened to me for a few months after last mc but it was very annoying even for that short time. I will quiz my friend with PCOS and 3 children to see if she can help.

Good to hear from you, Panda - take it easy - you will feel better in time, but I know it's hard right now.

A bit of a me me me, but I need a rant. We have NCT do tonight. I ran into one of the girls at soft play the other night and she is heavily pregnant :( Two have already had their second, and I just got an email of chatting that apparently there is another pregnant too :( I do not want to go now. Am I sad if I cancel? I really cannot face an evening surrounded by pregnant women and me who can't carry to term :(

Oh Banana you are not sad at all. I am avoiding members of my own family at the moment and I cannot even bring myself to speak to an ex-colleague who has DS that is 10m younger than my DD and has just given birth to baby no.2. I am avoiding facebook as I know she will have posted all about it on there and I cannot bear to read it right now. I wish her no harm but I cannot have any contact with her because it reminds me of my own failure to carry my other 3 longed for babies to term.

If you are feeling anxious about going then maybe give yourself a break and don't put yourself through it. Perhaps you could grab the opportunity of a night out with DH instead? Book a nice restaurant get pissed, eat blue cheese, seafood, rare steak, hold hands and snog in public! Big hugs x

Bless you Panda for your experience in the school car park. I don't think I would have been able to cope with that either. You sound very well balanced in spite of being in the throes of miscarriage. Big hugs.

I have wanted to do just that myself in the past and may end up doing the same thing today. DH wants to visit our friends that just had a baby. They run a shop and he wants to go to the shop to get something. I am not sure how I am going to cope. I went and bought a card and onesie and was tearful after that. I thought through all potential scenarios that could come up when I see them. They may not be there or it could be that the baby is there and I'm expected to coo over it and be asked "what is happening with me". I suppose I'll have to face the music some time. I feel mentally stronger than I did a few weeks ago, but I know that something can set you off and you come crashing down. You aren't crazy either, banana for wanting to avoid other pg women.

I am having quite a heavy period this time. Sorry to be gross, but I woke up in the night and couldn't settle back to sleep easily. When I woke up in the morning, I must have passed a 6cm long blood clot. I was pretty freaked out by that as it made me think of the mc, but I know it didn't happen again. I have a high pain threshold apparently. I'm expecting things to be messed up for awhile, but I wasn't expecting such a heavy period.

mummy I would echo the other sentiments on the board that maybe your body needs more time to come back to normal, but I know how easy it is to think of the worst outcome. I know how much you want to have a time frame as to when it will all be "normal" again. Is there a typical time for other AS patients? Although everyone is different, of course.

digital are you glad that the test didn't find anything? I'm sure that you too, would like to have an answer that solves all of the questions that you have about your body.

coconuts having a focus does help with some of the anguish. Good for you to learn typing. Hope you are feeling better today.

Hope the new babies are getting better Julez and frazzled and the newly pg women can find a way to relax.

Welcome rainbow and waves to clare and anyone else I've missed.

STARTING TESTING

LAF77, Age 33, MC1 (7 weeks Apr 10) MC2 (5 weeks Sept 10) MC3 (9 weeks Dec 10). All have been natural mcs and number 1 and 3 were embryonic for sure. No children, no RMC appt, no diagnosis and not TTC.

Panda - 3MMC, no.1 (embryonic loss - empty sac) 7weeks, no.2 at 12 weeks, no.3 at 8 weeks. Awaiting raft of tests for recurrent MC

ClairedeLoon - Age 38 1st mmc, development stopped approx 5 weeks (2007), 2nd mmc development stopped at approx 6 weeks (2009), 3rd mc development stopped at 9 weeks after seeing hb at 8+3 (2010). Bicornate uterus, starting testing Feb 2011.

NotsoBarrenBrook

UNDERGOING TREATMENT

Crystal5 Age 38 - DS age 4. 6 m/c 1 at 11 weeks, 5 at 5/6 weeks. Ok blood tests, under Endocrinologist for Hypothyroid

Banana87- Age 30- 1mmc@7 weeks, DD (2), 1 mmc 6 weeks, 1 mc 7 weeks, currently waiting one more cycle before TTC. Going to try aspirin and progesterone as per consultant. Clotting bloods normal.

TTC

MummyAbroad, Age 35, 1DS, 1MMC (14weeks) Ashermans diagnosis Nov 2010, currently TTC Cycle 1

Coconuts - Age 23, 1 MC (13 weeks), 1 MMC (10 weeks), 1DD born 2008, PCOS diagnosis, bi-cornuate uterus, currently TTC

Digitalgirl Age 32 - DS 2.4 - 3MCs since ttc#2. MC1 5wks. MC2 6-7wks. MC3 7-8wks. Awaiting clotting & karyotyping results, under consultant care for rmc. Mild pcos. Currently TTC.

PREGNANT

Glitterybits - 1 anembryonic MC (12 weeks), unexplained infertility, 1 round of clomid, currently pg and terrified!

Lunatic - dd1(4) 2 mmc (8 wks) dd2 stillborn (32+5), clotting problem, currently 32+1

Justmee - Age 21, MC1 (7 weeks), MC2 (6weeks), MC3 (5weeks) currently pregnant with 4th pregnancy using clexane injecting 20mg a day

HairyFairyLight

HairyClairyFairy

GRADUATES WITH BABIES!!

Julezboo - Age 29 1 mc @ 14 wks, DS1 (8yo) 4 mc @ 5/6 wks, DS2 (3) 2 mc @7 wks... DS3 (14/01/11 @35 wks) Dx with Factor V Leiden and Septate Uterus. Clexane and Aspirin throughout pregnancy and progesterone with DS3.

Mumatron Age 28 2 dc then 4mc, 3 @9weeks 1@5weeks, tests showed possible free protein s ishoo. dd2 born 06/01/2011, aspirin, claxane and high dose folic acid through pg.

StillFrazzled - Age 35, DS1 (3.6yo), 1 mc @ 5 weeks Jan 09, 2nd mc @ 9 weeks March 09, DS2 born @ 35+3 on 04/01/11 with Intra Uterine Growth Restriction and currently in Special Care Baby Unit.

WOW that is some list. i have no chance of catching up with the thread, i have missed too much.

all good here, will try and keep up a bit better now Eliza is settled into a bit of a routine.

Well AF is her, 14 days after I got a positive OPK but only CD23. Last cycle was 41 days so I guess I'm playing catch up.
I had a day 21 progesterone test done this week?? Just thought I'd ask the nurse to add it to my thyroid bloods I was having. I suppose it will be normal? Not sure where to go next with tests and drs? I would like to get hurried up as I'm 39 soon. I'd like some clomid please if anyone can post me some??? Oh and some progesterone if I need it?

Julez hope little Oliver is doing ok?

hairyfairylights I hope AF stays away-the signs are good x

Hello to everyone else xx

HFL So pleased AF didn't come. :) It's great you are setting yourself mini hurdles. You sound very together and sensible, more than I would be!

panda Hope you are okay, and the bleeding is slowing down. Bless you for crying at the preschool. It's so hard to keep these emotions inside. I am a 'bottle it up and it'll go away' person. It never works. There are things that I get upset about that happened when I was much younger that still upset me, because I never cried about them when they happened. Then one day I'll get upset about something else and it'll all come flooding out. It is detrimental to be so private with tears but I can't help it. DH has only really seen me cry a handful of times. It's definitely something I need to work on. So don't you be worrying what the other mums think of you. Crying is good for you and if I saw somebody that upset the last thing I would do it bitch and gossip behind your back.

banana hope you didn't push your self to go to the NCT do (what is NCT exactly?) I second the others, definitely don't go if you don't feel up to it mentally.

LAF Hoping your period is not still heavy. If you pass anymore of those clots perhaps it would be worth a trip to doctor? Even after what your body has been through I'm not sure that it is healthy for your body to be losing that much.

mumatron Wow at having a routine already :) Ellie was in a routine quite early on but not as early as you've got :)

lunatic I think this touch typing malarkey is going to take me months! I don't seem to be able to control my pinky fingers I have downloaded a free program that has individual lessons to do, it seems really good :) If I can crack this I'm going to do shorthand next! I think if I can learn these things that I never had chance to before I stopped working before DD, then it will widen my career prospects when I'm ready to go back to work next time.

How come they have your abruption date wrong? Glad you have the scan and steroids next Thursday, :) Not long til Feb now.

All okay here with me. 11dpo. No sign of AF, and still BFNs when I test My teary, emotional and sicky, nauseous state is making it more confusing than ever.

There just seemsa to be too much happening at once here. So many things to be doing to take my mind of things but it just isn't working. I have DD and DH, the flat to keep in order, this whole TTC saga, property searching, touch typing learning and a broken tumble dryer again. So many things but I just sit here and can only think of one thing all the time. OMW indeed!

It's pretty hard to catch up with everyone so I have decided to just catch up with the people who post after my last post IYSWIM, then it keeps my posts shorter and then there is more time for other people when they come back next time :)

lunatic

Thanks coco my only other option would be to fall un a jibberung heap and that's not really an option. I HAVE to take everything one day at a time ... For my mental health.

crystal take it easy. Sounds luke you are ovulating (opk) so your 21 day test should confirm that.

Morning all!

Panda your car park post made me cry for you, hope you're OK

Feeling a little down today, I think because AF here, even though we're being careful to not get pregnant it's still upsetting in a weird way. Over 3 yrs since we started ttc and it seems we still have such a mountain to climb.

STARTING TESTING

LAF77, Age 33, MC1 (7 weeks Apr 10) MC2 (5 weeks Sept 10) MC3 (9 weeks Dec 10). All have been natural mcs and number 1 and 3 were embryonic for sure. No children, no RMC appt, no diagnosis and not TTC.

Panda - 3MMC, no.1 (embryonic loss - empty sac) 7weeks, no.2 at 12 weeks, no.3 at 8 weeks. Awaiting raft of tests for recurrent MC

ClairedeLoon - Age 38 1st mmc, development stopped approx 5 weeks (2007), 2nd mmc development stopped at approx 6 weeks (2009), 3rd mc development stopped at 9 weeks after seeing hb at 8+3 (2010). Bicornate uterus, starting testing Feb 2011.

NotsoBarrenBrook - age 35. 1st mmc @ 6 weeks (Jan 2009), 2nd mmc @ 6 weeks (Jan 2010), 3rd mmc @ 11 weeks, development stopped at 6 weeks 3 days (March 2010), 4th mmc @ 5 weeks (August 2010). Possible adenomyosis, awaiting hsg and results of testing from St Mary's.

UNDERGOING TREATMENT

Crystal5 Age 38 - DS age 4. 6 m/c 1 at 11 weeks, 5 at 5/6 weeks. Ok blood tests, under Endocrinologist for Hypothyroid

Banana87- Age 30- 1mmc@7 weeks, DD (2), 1 mmc 6 weeks, 1 mc 7 weeks, currently waiting one more cycle before TTC. Going to try aspirin and progesterone as per consultant. Clotting bloods normal.

TTC

MummyAbroad, Age 35, 1DS, 1MMC (14weeks) Ashermans diagnosis Nov 2010, currently TTC Cycle 1

Coconuts - Age 23, 1 MC (13 weeks), 1 MMC (10 weeks), 1DD born 2008, PCOS diagnosis, bi-cornuate uterus, currently TTC

Digitalgirl Age 32 - DS 2.4 - 3MCs since ttc#2. MC1 5wks. MC2 6-7wks. MC3 7-8wks. Awaiting clotting & karyotyping results, under consultant care for rmc. Mild pcos. Currently TTC.

PREGNANT

Glitterybits - 1 anembryonic MC (12 weeks), unexplained infertility, 1 round of clomid, currently pg and terrified!

Lunatic - dd1(4) 2 mmc (8 wks) dd2 stillborn (32+5), clotting problem, currently 32+1

Justmee - Age 21, MC1 (7 weeks), MC2 (6weeks), MC3 (5weeks) currently pregnant with 4th pregnancy using clexane injecting 20mg a day

HairyFairyLight

HairyClairyFairy

GRADUATES WITH BABIES!!

Julezboo - Age 29 1 mc @ 14 wks, DS1 (8yo) 4 mc @ 5/6 wks, DS2 (3) 2 mc @7 wks... DS3 (14/01/11 @35 wks) Dx with Factor V Leiden and Septate Uterus. Clexane and Aspirin throughout pregnancy and progesterone with DS3.

Mumatron Age 28 2 dc then 4mc, 3 @9weeks 1@5weeks, tests showed possible free protein s ishoo. dd2 born 06/01/2011, aspirin, claxane and high dose folic acid through pg.

StillFrazzled - Age 35, DS1 (3.6yo), 1 mc @ 5 weeks Jan 09, 2nd mc @ 9 weeks March 09, DS2 born @ 35+3 on 04/01/11 with Intra Uterine Growth Restriction and currently in Special Care Baby Unit.

My goodness you lot have been chatting alot! Hope everyone's doing ok. Apologies for no personals and fleeting visit, work madness and just sneaked on while in the loo! X

Hello ladies. Promise to be a little less self indulgent next time I post, but it's my scan day tomorrow and scared does not even begin to cover the way I feel.

I didn't sleep last night and my brain is working overtime trying to anticipate how I'll react to the news, be it good or bad. I can't bear the thought of bad news again and a part of me is reassured by the fact that I've told no one, but really worried that I'll have next to no support in RL if it's all gone wrong.

Sometimes I think I'm stupid to even think that it could have possibly gone wrong given how big I'm getting, but denial is a wonderful thing.

I really am sorry for not name checking. Please send happy thoughts at 9am tomorrow. Thanks. x

Hi all,

I'm doing more lurking than posting at the mo, because if I spend too much time thinking about TTC my anxiety levels start racing up, no news from the doc about my HSG yet, so I am still on tenterhooks.

I really feel for you Glittery, waiting for big news is just so agonising. I'm sending you MASSIVE amounts of good luck for tomorrows scan

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good luck glittery thinking of you tomorrow.

I am in the 2ww. AF due weekend after next. Not at all looking forward to it. Getting AF will be very disappointing. Getting a BFP will be terrifying.

glittery you are and will be in my thoughts tomorrow, everything tightly crossed for good news, there's no reason for it to be bad, try to hold on to that. It's your time!

MA so sorry you're a bit stressed, which isn't being helped by having to wait around for other people who never seem to get the urgency we require to maintain any form of sanity. Wish I could do something to make it better but knowing I can't I'm sending you a big virtual glass of wine, some cake (calorie free of course) and a mahoosive hug. Keep your chin up chuck, lots of love x

hello everyone

Thank you for the welcome.....i'm just lurking at the moment so that I can get to 'know' you all a little better and not post stupid comments.

glittery will keep toes and fingers crossed for tomorrow.

I've been in a bit of alcohol fuelled denial since getting the results last Thursday. After extensive googling and reading of fertility books it seems that an AMH of 0.85 is so bad as to be considered almost undetectable. The consultant did say that is what he'd expect to see in someone 45 years old and so low to no chance of natural conception. I'm currently torn between getting a second option, starting alternative treatments such as chinese herbs or giving up. He did repeat the test so should get those results any day.

coconuts I think learning to touch type was one of the hardest and frustrating things!

ClairedeLoon sorry you are feeling down. I've been trying for 2.5 years so can understand your frustration.

Just popping by to say good luck glittery

Good luck for tomorrow Glittery.

Fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow Glittery

Hi ladies
Thought I'd add myself on, it's the only place it doesn't feel like jinxing for some reason.
Glittery I really hope everything goes well tomorrow. I have another follow-up schedule on Wednesday and am also completely beside myself. This morning on my way into work I mentally rehearsed my reasons why I thought I should persuade them not to scan:

1. I will be 6+6, if they don't see a heartbeat someone will say it might just be too early and I'll spend the next two weeks waiting to start bleeding.

1. If they see a heartbeat but growth isn't right, they say re-scan in 2 weeks and I'll spend the next two weeks waiting to start bleeding.

1. Even if heartbeat is seen, I'll remember that I've MC after a hb before so will spend the next two weeks waiting to start bleeding.

Right now, I can't think of a single good thing about getting scanned. Even if it's bad news there's a bit of me that just would prefer not to hear that thanks, and just find out by eventually starting to bleed. Not sure I can take another clinical 'I'm sorry' and have to put my clothes back on trying not to cry.

F&(k. Sorry am a bit of a mess tonight. Had tears after child-minder managed to imply that I don't care about my child's health when I questioned whether taking him to GP was really necessary after having a cough for 3 days (no temperature, not off food, well in himself, cough not waking him at night). I keep him at home as much as possible when he's actually poorly, but this is just silly, especially when he seems to have got the cough in the first place from her daughter. I will try to get an urgent appt tomorrow as she's insisting but it's all just extra stuff to deal with.

Where is that duvet?

STARTING TESTING

LAF77, Age 33, MC1 (7 weeks Apr 10) MC2 (5 weeks Sept 10) MC3 (9 weeks Dec 10). All have been natural mcs and number 1 and 3 were embryonic for sure. No children, no RMC appt, no diagnosis and not TTC.

Panda - 3MMC, no.1 (embryonic loss - empty sac) 7weeks, no.2 at 12 weeks, no.3 at 8 weeks. Awaiting raft of tests for recurrent MC

ClairedeLoon - Age 38 1st mmc, development stopped approx 5 weeks (2007), 2nd mmc development stopped at approx 6 weeks (2009), 3rd mc development stopped at 9 weeks after seeing hb at 8+3 (2010). Bicornate uterus, starting testing Feb 2011.

NotsoBarrenBrook - age 35. 1st mmc @ 6 weeks (Jan 2009), 2nd mmc @ 6 weeks (Jan 2010), 3rd mmc @ 11 weeks, development stopped at 6 weeks 3 days (March 2010), 4th mmc @ 5 weeks (August 2010). Possible adenomyosis, awaiting hsg and results of testing from St Mary's.

UNDERGOING TREATMENT

Crystal5 Age 38 - DS age 4. 6 m/c 1 at 11 weeks, 5 at 5/6 weeks. Ok blood tests, under Endocrinologist for Hypothyroid

Banana87- Age 30- 1mmc@7 weeks, DD (2), 1 mmc 6 weeks, 1 mc 7 weeks, currently waiting one more cycle before TTC. Going to try aspirin and progesterone as per consultant. Clotting bloods normal.

TTC

MummyAbroad, Age 35, 1DS, 1MMC (14weeks) Ashermans diagnosis Nov 2010, currently TTC Cycle 1

Coconuts - Age 23, 1 MC (13 weeks), 1 MMC (10 weeks), 1DD born 2008, PCOS diagnosis, bi-cornuate uterus, currently TTC

Digitalgirl Age 32 - DS 2.4 - 3MCs since ttc#2. MC1 5wks. MC2 6-7wks. MC3 7-8wks. Awaiting clotting & karyotyping results, under consultant care for rmc. Mild pcos. Currently TTC.

PREGNANT

Glitterybits - 1 anembryonic MC (12 weeks), unexplained infertility, 1 round of clomid, currently pg and terrified!

Lunatic - dd1(4) 2 mmc (8 wks) dd2 stillborn (32+5), clotting problem, currently 32+1

Justmee - Age 21, MC1 (7 weeks), MC2 (6weeks), MC3 (5weeks) currently pregnant with 4th pregnancy using clexane injecting 20mg a day

LadyBee - 37, MC1 (5wks), DS (2), MC2 blighted ovum discovered @ 8 wk scan, MC3 natural @ 9 wks following hb seen at 7 1/2 wk. PCOS previously diagnosed, Factor V Leiden heterozygote discovered in recent testing. Treatment with aspirin (from BFP) + clexane started at 6 weeks.

HairyFairyLight

HairyClairyFairy

GRADUATES WITH BABIES!!

Julezboo - Age 29 1 mc @ 14 wks, DS1 (8yo) 4 mc @ 5/6 wks, DS2 (3) 2 mc @7 wks... DS3 (14/01/11 @35 wks) Dx with Factor V Leiden and Septate Uterus. Clexane and Aspirin throughout pregnancy and progesterone with DS3.

Mumatron Age 28 2 dc then 4mc, 3 @9weeks 1@5weeks, tests showed possible free protein s ishoo. dd2 born 06/01/2011, aspirin, claxane and high dose folic acid through pg.

StillFrazzled - Age 35, DS1 (3.6yo), 1 mc @ 5 weeks Jan 09, 2nd mc @ 9 weeks March 09, DS2 born @ 35+3 on 04/01/11 with Intra Uterine Growth Restriction and currently in Special Care Baby Unit.

Good luck for tomorrow Glittery Will be thinking of you x

keeping everything crossed for you glittery will check on you tomorrow xx

ladybee sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you've figured out that you'd feel much better without a scan. You don't have to have one, that is your right. Do they need to do one to decide whether to continue with the clexane?