Recurrent Buns - Miscarriage Testing and Beyond! Part three..!

[Julezboo]

Not so imaginative as lunatic !

Part One HERE

Part Two HERE

There are a mixture of Pg ladies, new BFP's (YAY) and new ladies who have sadly had to join us and are going through testing. Lots of OMW's and hand holding here!

Sit down, grab a cushion and a hot choc and get comfortable.

Congratulations Julez!!!!

julez CONGRATULATIONSS
finally here hope your both dong well
lots of love to both to both of you
xxxxxxxx

Julez Huge congratulations. Hope you and baby are well. Look forward to a pic :)

panda it is great to have this thread as a support. It is something that is dealt with behind closed doors in RL and people never know what to say to you. That doesn't happen here.

mumatron hope you enjoyed your evening of snuggles

hairy sorry you are feeling so low. Hope your results don't take too long to come.

banana I know how you feel DD is 3 in April and I would love to have a baby then. 3 years is a lovely gap I think but it won't happen like that. I remember having a friend who made herself a life plan: married at 23, 1st baby at 25, second at 28 etc etc. If only it worked like that.

mummy do you have a phone number to the Dr in London's secretary? Can you call and be nosey and find out if he is working or not?

justmee hope you're holding up well and not knicker checking too often

Hi coconuts I would start temping straight away, it takes a bit of practice, so the early you start the early you start getting useful info. For the first few days, I kept forgetting to do it! Dont worry too much about waking in the night etc, or taking it at exactly the same time every day. DS wakes me up all the time, I find it easier to just stick themom in as soon as I wake no matter what time it is, as long as I have been asleep for more than 3 hours it doesnt affect things. Also, dont try and analyse your chart as it unfolds (you will, but try and accept that its not really possible in the first month) its only with hindsight that you get really useful info, at least for the first 2 months or so anyway. Have fun!

Mummyabroad No sign of bleeding yet. Last MMC in August was not picked up until 12wk scan and died about 8.5wks - I didn't really bleed until I took Mefipristone. I think my body is a bit slow to catch on that I'm not pregnant anymore . The midwife I saw said they would not let me go that long this time so unless things start to happen soon it looks like I'll be taking the pills again.

I did read about Asherman's and it was very interesting - I had no idea this could happen. I am so sorry that you have been through this. I have never had a D&C or ERPC because I just had a gut-feel aversion to the procedure. Now I feel even more determined to avoid it if possible but I appreciate it is helpful in certain situations. Good job on raising awareness.

Banana and Coco I am so with you on the getting pg again thing. DD is now 3yrs and 4m and we started trying in January 2010 blissfully unaware that this could happen. DD is desperate for a little brother or sister and asks almost on a daily basis though we have never mentioned anything to her about what has happened. Right now I am convinced MC will happen again . I have done some reading and I think the chromosomal abnormalities you read about refers to a "sporadic" abnormality in the embryo that has happened by chance, rather than an inherited genetic trait such as a balanced translocation.

Claire forgot to say thankyou for your lovely post in last message. I'm loving the support from thsi thread

Hairy I am so sorry. I know at some point in the next few days I am going to feel deperately sad too. The last two times I MC'd lay on the bed alone in the house and howled like a wild animal. It seemed the only way I could get my feelings out.

LAF77 Thanks for your post. Unfortunately due to the NHS criteria I was told on Friday that I could not join the recurrent miscarriage clinic as I am not actually a recurrent miscarrier yet because I haven't had 3 in a row - DD was born in between MMC1 and MMC2 . Thank God for my private healthcare with work as that is how we are getting the tests. I did manage to convince said midwife to scan me next time on the NHS at 8 weeks and she also offered to do twice weekly HCG levels which I will really appreciate.

God I am so F%^&*d off. Wish I had a crystal ball and could be sure I will have another child at some point. I would be willing to go through more MCs if I knew for certain we would get there in the end. I keep looking at DD and cannot believe my body actually managed it properly once - will it ever happen again? I'm 35 now and I'm so scared that all my eggs are ruined and she was my last chance.

Thanks mummy. So if I input my temps into FF it won't shout things at me because my cycles are always 30, 40 or 100+? I have laid the thermometer on the windowledge right next to my pillow so I should see it as soon as I open my eyes. Do you temp all through the cycle even when AF is in? Did you find anything out about your doctor?

X-post panda I know how you feel. I look at DD and can't believe my luck. I have posted here before about my feelings of guilt that people may think that DD isn't enough or that I'm selfish for not being happy with what I already have. People don't understand that having one DC already makes no difference to the desire to have a second. We all have ideals in our heads on the way things will happen but mine were blown out of the water when I suffered my first mc at 18. I wish someone could tell me that one day it will definitely happen but nobody knows. This thread is proof that the odds can be against you and you can still have success. Your eggs won't be ruined. When they do your bloods they can tell whether the egg reserve is ok or not can't they? 35 isn't too old at all. I am only 23 and having trouble so it isn't all about age (although I do understand it has a factor). It is so shitty that you have to have had 3 mcs to get investigations. I bet someone who had never had one thought of that crap.

Jeez, you stay away for ONE day...

Very, very, VERY many congratulations, Julez. Hope the birth was OK and the little man's still doing well. Not such a little man, though! Well done Name?

MummyAbroad and I've just winced all over again. Truly you are made of sterner stuff than I am. Hope the lining looks more promising when they next check.

LadyBee, excellent news on the prescription, and v much impressed that you're going to be doing the Clexane yourself. I had to have a week's worth after the op, and chickened out and got DH to do them. Since he left me with massive bruises every time it did v little for marital harmony...

Lunatic oh, I can imagine how awful you feel without your DD, but it's great that the hospital are treating you well and you've got a midwife you trust. FX as ever.

justmee obsessive knicker-checking is indeed the way madness lies, so if you CAN cut down on that (I never could) you'll feel miles better. Sympathy re flu, hope you're feeling better soon.

Hi Claire, good to see you! Am spending several hours a day at hosp, tho it never feels like enough, of course. Look forward to seeing an update from you soon.

Panda welcome, and really sorry about your mc. Two in a row is so rough. Hope the tests offer some help to you - and I'd be really surprised if only one person you know has had an mc, most of my friends over the age of 30 seem to have. Only realised how common (hideous, but sadly common) it was once I'd joined the club.

Coconuts, your poor DD, and poor you. Is anyone there to help you so you can get some rest during the day?

digital Hmm, can see why you're confused. What is a chakra? I've never known.

mumatron awwwww, hope the snuggling was lovely.

LAF77 if my friend's experience is anything to go by, you have to have three in a row, so if you have a baby inbetween you have to start again. Is a stupid rule IMHO.

hairyfairy definitely do wallow away. And FWIW I'm convinced that my mcs were girls, too.

banana Don't worry about age gaps, numbers of kids, chromosomes or anything else if you can possibly stop. Is just extra pressure. And I don't think anxiety/doom feelings about subsequent pgs are anything but normal. They do pass (although in my case about five weeks before it all went t*ts up and the current medical drama kicked off, but that's another and entirely unrelated story...).

Phew, can't believe how many there are of us these days!

Yesterday was sh*te, so much so that I couldn't post. Just felt awful about leaving Finn, awful about not having the energy to play with DS1, convinced it was my fault that DS1's disrupted and Finn's so tiny...

Today was a better day, though. DS1 hasn't wee-d anywhere but the potty, and hasn't told me he doesn't like me (although did dissolve in tears when we left him to go to softplay with best mate and his mum. Felt rotten about that but he did enjoy it eventually).

Finn put on another 40g overnight, isn't on caffeine any more (for the apnoea) and I got the loveliest cuddle today AND managed to latch him on (cheated a tiny bit and latched him on when he yawned, but he did suck for quite a while). Have a tiny sliver of hope that I might actually be able to get him feeding long term.

Bad start to the day, though, when SCBU nearly killed us. Rang at 5.50am so of course we pretty well had heart attacks. Turned out they'd run out of expressed milk, so DH had to fling on jeans and drive some up there. They'd noticed stocks were low at 2am and given us a few more hours to sleep, but even so...

WOOHOO Julez! Another graduate! So, very pleased for you! Hope you and baby are both well. I bet you're over the moon.

LAF I don't know what to say, but I'm really fecking angry on your behalf. I had the crystal ball notion at several points prior to this pregnancy and, I'm sorry to say, that it's actually worse rather than better now. If we could just know that it would all be alright eventually, it would be far easier to take. I'm very relieved that you have private healthcare. What a nightmare it must be for those that don't. I'd be tempted to cheat the system and lie about how many you've suffered, though it's hideous that you should even have to consider it. Hugs. x

Realise I'm behind, but struggling at this end. Have been bleeding (red - AAAGH!) on and off for the past 24 hours and trying not to slide off the ledge. Why does it always happen on a weekend, and/or when my DH is away and I have no childcare and I don't know what the hell to do for the best? I'm completely constipated because my body has stage fright for fear that straining might make the blood loss worse. Yes, I know that is ridiculous, but I'm now necking prunes and water to the point that I think I may explode.

Aaaaagh. I realise worrying aloud won't change anything but I'm trying to remain horizontal and calm and failing abysmally. I wonder how irrational my mother would think me now? I'm 11+2 and just can't bear the thought of getting so close to the 12 week point again and being told it isn't happening. I might try and book another scan before the one at 12+5. I'm not sure I can take another week of this stress. Typically, this has happened on a weekend where someone has asked to borrow my crib, we have to go to a Christening tomorrow and one of my friends announced that she has given birth today. I've also just bumped into yet another friend who is hugely pregnant and - of course her DC1 is about a year and a half younger than my DS. It's all a bit much and I just want to hide under my duvet and be a pathetic mess for a while.

Sorry for lack of personal messages. I do hope everyone is okay.

Sorry msg for LAF was actually intended for Panda. Not that I'm mental or anything!!

Stillfrazzled 40g!!! That's excellent!! Any word on when he might be able to come home? Excellent news the you were able to feed him! Gosh, I miss that! I am thinking your DS will love Finn to bits when he comes home :)

Glittery Wish I had a crystal ball for you to look and see if everything is ok. How heavy is the bleeding? Is it more than spotting? How do you feel about going to EPU next week to make sure everything is ok?

Coconuts I agree with Mummy to start temping now, even if FF may decide you didn't ovulate or ovulate later in the month. If anything it will get you used to temping every day. I did it when TTC DD and it worked, although was a complete PITA.

Mummy Is your lining thin for pre-ov? Mine was 10mm post-ov when I was having all my scans, so yours seems reasonable for before ov, but then I know nothing about the measurements. Hope the US dr gets back to you ASAP.

Thanks for all your messages. Its nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way. Still have no idea how I am going to manage pregnancy, am hoping the next 4 weeks go by very slowly as I am actually not looking forward to TTC.

Wow there's news everywhere I look! Congratulations to julez that's a great weight and fab recovery from the initial apgar. Wishing you a restful night and calm and easy recovery!

oh glittery I think you definitely should ask for a scan on Monday, bleeding needs to be checked even if it's nothing serious your well-being depends on it.

Too exhausted to write (again) if I get some time online tomorrow will come back then to see how everyone else is.

Julez congratulations, lovely lovely lovely news. Oh just congratulations again!

Frazzled 40g gain is great, well done Finn. Hopefully no more 5am scary phonecalls.

Glittery second getting a scan on Monday. Is DH away all weekend? Can he get home to take over childcare and let you rest? Thinking of you xxx

Hairy don't worry about wallowing, hope you're feeling stronger now. I too am convinced last mc was a 'her'.

Hi all
i had a total freak out last night had a dream i mc wokeup paniking oo cant wait to get to the docs and hopefully see a baby start these injections iv been having bad back cramps oo i so dont want to mc again even thinking about it makes me want to break down my partners been soo helpful iv been resting he been cleaning cooking been a star :))
how are all you girls xxx

I will do a proper catchup eventually things
move so fast here!!

panda I get the howl like a wild animal thing ... That is what I did and still feel like doing. I had a good cry Friday night looking at
my scan photo (she was already dead by the time
we got a pic at a scan).

It's the first time I've really done that and I feel better for it .

Accupuncturist was helpful and has also suggested avoiding dairy .... So my beloved cheese comfort binges have to go!

I think I need to stop thinking I've had recurrent mc. The first was too tiny to even see and was more of a
long lived chemical pregnancy (or early ectopic) and hcg was 280 at it's highest.

Second was mmc found at ten weeks and
was so much harder.

I feel a bit more positive... Just hope there is good news from consultant on Tuesday and good news
from day 21 bloods fx

Hello ladies,

coconuts no I dont temp through AF. FF wont mind long cycles (I have one that is 130 days long!) but you may get a bit dismayed!! Have you ever checked your cervix? I do this when i get near the middle of the cycle, it helps me know when to start paying better attention to the temps, as soon as cervix is soft and high then I make sure I am temping as accurately as I can. I also look at EGCM, but if you have PCOS I believe this can be misleading as you can get patches of this all through the cycle instead of just at ov time.

panda I feel for you, the waiting is not nice. My body was also slow to catch on, we discovered no heartbeat at 14 weeks, baby had died at 9.5. I think my AS was more than likely caused by a D&C that I had for retained placenta after the birth of DS. After full term delivery the uterus is much more sensitive to those kinds of ops and its easy to damage it. Getting AS after D&C for miscarriage is much less common, but I agree avoiding if possible is the best prevention.

banana Yes, 5mm at day 9 is a bit thin, but then again Day 9 is a bit early. So hard to say if its "normal" or not. Also, many women on the AS board have conceived with much thinner linings, so there is a lot of debate about how much it even matters. On Monday I will be day 14, so if I can I will get a scan (8 to 13mm would be ideal) We have already started TTC though! I have decided to stop worrying so much and dive in with both feet. The clincher was finding a study of 137 post-Asherman?s pregnancies which found a 9% risk of placenta accreta. 9% doesnt seem that bad, and there are several doctors who believe that it is the extent of initial damage to the lining that increases the risk, NOT how think the lining grows to at implantation. So the deed is done, I am now shagging with intent again

Hairy best of luck for tuesdays results.

Hi everyone,

Been out for the day today had lunch at a friends' house, not long been back. Eaten so much we have cancelled our dinner tonight!

frazzled I wish there was someone to help. DD is so clingy at the moment that she refuses to go to anyone else. She is so demanding. I can't even sit and rest while she plays as she has to do something that needs me to play with her. She is so draining, I have no idea why I want a second I just wish DH would stop coughing so I can sleep at night!

Sorry you had a shit day Friday, but glad to hear Finn is still gaining weight and that DS1 is improving.

glittery can you get yourself to EPU in the morning and demand a scan? Although the bleeding is common, it will put your mind at rest to see things are ok.

lady hope you are getting rested.

mummy I did my first temp this morning :) it was 97.18 I think. I had a good rummage for my cervix the other day as I had no idea what it felt like or even where it was but safe to say I know what it is although I have no idea if it is low or high. I guess as I do it day by day I should see a shift and be able to compare. Last Wednesday I had really bad pains, loads of EWCM, back ache and a positive OPK so I guess I must have ovualted then. I put the positive OPK into FF and then it forecasted that I will ovualte tomorrow and that AF should be due 31st. I clearly know this to be wrong. I guess it'll sort itself out once AF comes. hopefully it doesn't come but with only two attempts at SWI since Weds due to flu and poorly DD I doubt I'll get a BFP this cycle. But it's a learning curve nonetheless. :) Hope you get your scan done and the lining has thickened. You're all shiny and new and hopefully you won't be long until your BFP :)

sorry just a quick one for coconuts

re: cervix - did it feel hard like tip of your nose (pre ov) or soft like your lips ?(ov)

wave to Lunatic glad you are doing well, we miss you. Puddle jumping sounds just the trick :)

I so know how you feel - I also had that fear of starting never to stop!

Hug to Glittery.

justmee try not to read bad things into the dream or back pains. It's very early days and I think aches and twinges are v normal - at least they are for me. If you're anxious about MC then it's likely that will be expressed in dreams.

Hairy yup, get the howling too. The first time I ever did it was for my first MC. I started bleeding on a Sunday and for some reason went into work, carried on the entire day with a heart breaking, got home and fell on the floor and made noises I didn't know were in me - felt like it was tearing me apart. The pain for my last two MCs has been different but equally physical. Look forward to hearing news this week.

MummyA good going with the study - 9% does seem reasonable risk to take.

Coconuts DS is just the same, 100% attention on him would not be enough. I was re-reading a copy of Toddler Taming yesterday and found the chapter on 'What's normal' incredibly reassuring - nice to know my monster is at least normal monster

Lunatic nope not a midwife, I work in publishing, and on an awful lot of pg/childbirth/childcare type (alongside lots of other subjects) books. And my parents are both scientists so kind of grew up surrounded by scientific papers - it all gets in. But I hope noone takes my opinions as anything other than that..deffo not professional advice just concerned advice. Glad you got to spend some decent time with DD, hope you were wearing your boots

I told a friend today - who knows my history and has her own issues. I feel like I've tempted fate hugely but didn't think I could continue to see her without letting her know, it's just too big an ommission when she's known my cycles and all the other details. We've agreed not to talk about it at all. I just can't yet. So strange as it's not going to stop it hurting just as bad if this goes wrong but still. Need to chase up on the anticoag clinic appointment today. And supposed to apply for a secondment. Oh yes, and two deadlines tomorrow - I just want to hide under bed and not deal with the rest of life. Think I'm going to have to book some holiday sooner rather than later, my stress levels are running high without all this.

Catch up time here too.

lunatic I take it consultant suggesting induction was diplomatically dealt with! Hope no-one else comes along with their silly life-threatening suggestions. Glad you got some fun time with dd1 too.

glittery I know we've reminded you before, and I know you have your reasons for not wanting to go ahead of an appointment - but if you're clawing the walls with anxiety then you have every right to march down the epu and demand a scan. But am rather hoping your spotting has stopped by now.

hairy cd1's a bitch. This grief can just rip you apart some days. Crying is so very cathartic though.

coconuts I think there's a way you can override FF guessing your ovulation if you opt for the 'opk' method of interpretation. But it might be worth leaving as is, keeping a mental note of 'your' date and then just seeing what your temps do between now and af. If af comes that is! Once is enough as they say!

mummy haven't yet said 'ouch!' to your hsg description. But as you say, 3 months of super fertility means it should be worth it. Can't believe how much you've really taken your fertility into your own hands. You are amazing.

ladybee you too.

julez hope all's well and you're getting some baby smuggles as I type. Such a good weight.

frazzled ah the old yawn-latch, brings back memories...sounds like Finn's making great progress.

So, am now at a point in my cycle where it should all start to make sense in the next couple of days. Cervix is high and open. Have had ewcm for two days. I'm either about to ov or about to get af (exact same conditions as end of last cycle). But I am definitely not pg. So I am on a last-ditch swi mission tonight to cover all bases. If this is ov then my body hasn't been helping get me in the mood at all this week, I've been a hormonal cramping irritable tired mess of a woman.

I keep reminding myself that I probably won't get pregnant this cycle and it shouldn't matter because I'm still yet to find out my blood test results.

Evening ladies!

Crikey you have been chatty. I have two pages to catch up on but wanted to post and let you know that we are both home... Was dishcharged this evening at half 7 (they wanted to keep me until 48 hours after section!)

As LF posted I went back in Wed with pains. Every 2/3 mins. They made the decision to transfer me to labour ward. Umm'd and ahh'd all day and then sent DH home about 11pm and moved me back to antenatal for some rest and pain killers.

They were still pretty much the same in the morning. Around 11am i started vomiting and contractions seemed to be getting closer together and stronger. I told MW, sent back to Labour ward. They were still not really that sure on whether to deliver. I managed to get a lovely midwife who asked us what we wanted to happen. TBH by this point I was so exhausted both DH and I said we would be happy with him being born today. They got the head consultant up who was lovely and at 3pm he told me he was worried about my scar rupturing because of the pain i was getting in my left side of tummy and he wanted to deliver, assured us baby would be fine.

Few emergencies were bumped ahead of us and we finally went into theatre about 7pm and he was born at 7:36pm i think! almost went into shock when they told us how much he weighd, he needed some help at first to get moving but he cried straight away :) a teeny tiny cry

Anyway, here is pic

Oliver Harry

Afterpains are awful! I am in a little pain but its nothing compared to the sickness/reflux and non stop contractions which I an now free off :o

Hello everyone, it's been a long while since I posted on here. I took a fairly long break after being diagnosed with a partial molar pregnancy following my 4th m/c in March 2010.
Got the all clear in Sept around the time all my testing had finished at the miscarriage clinic.
It transpires that I have Factor v Leiden and also APS, poor buggers never stood a chance :(
I got a bfp, on new years day and was pretty much straight into the hospital to discuss treatment. Fragmin, asprin and folic acid.
Go back for my first scan on fri - eeek

Although I have'nt been posting I have followed how everyone is getting on.
It is so lovely to see such happiness with those who have finally got their precious baby's and hand holding from afar for those who are pregnant and waiting.
Then the pain and distress from those who are still waiting, undergoing tests and who are scared.
Anyway will hopefully be back on and keep in touch a bit more now.
Julez and Mumatron your dc are beautiful:)
xx

lunatic Yes the temping first thing is certainly going to take some getting used to. I am by no means a morning person. Or even afternoon on some days! Puddle jumping sounds fab, it is my DD's fave thing to do. Who needs toys. Happy "getting together anniversary" I thought me and DH were the only ones who celebrated that day. Everyone told us once you get married the getting together day goes out the window

mummy it's pretty squidgy like my lips and still feels pretty open. Is this normal? I have no idea about it's height though. As I have the old retroverted uterus finding my cervix has always been hard for doctors so I'm not sure what's normal and what's not.It's hard to examine something if you don't know what it's meant to be like. The oping is more of a line than a circle but I read somewhere that that is because I have already given birth.

Now slightly I have given you an in depth analysis of my cervix.

hairyfairylights I have added the fairylights on as there is now a hairyclairey and this could get confusing! How are you bearing up? I know how you feel with the howling. I remember my first mc like it was yesterday. I started spotting red in the afternoon and told nobody. By the even it was very heavy and I just screamed and howled and my mum had to call the GP to get me some sleeping tablets because I thought I was going to go mad.

lady I know DD is normal. Sometimes I wish for something different, just for a day! I hope she's well enough for playschool Thursday. DH and I have decided to go out for breakfast while she is there. That'll be a nice break.

digi Yes I saw that option to choose OPKs as the primary method but I left it as the temps. I have been filling in the bits where it has OPK result and details of CM etc so I can keep track of what I think is correct. I had a little conversation with myself yesterday that once is enough but then I stopped myself. I can't let myself hope. The 2ww is hard enough.

julez Oliver Harry. What a beautiful name for a truly scrumptious baby. Pleased you are home safely and enjoying this precious time.

hairyclairey I don't think we've "met" so Hello! :) Congratulations on your BFP Good luck for your scan Friday. I am off to Dr Google as I don't know what APS is but I'm glad you have a treatment plan in place.

Not much to report here. Going to have a cleaning day at home and an early night tonight. I am 5dpo and I think I'm going mad. Need to occupy my mind.