Recurrent Buns - Miscarriage Testing and Beyond! Part three..!

[Julezboo]

Not so imaginative as lunatic !

Part One HERE

Part Two HERE

There are a mixture of Pg ladies, new BFP's (YAY) and new ladies who have sadly had to join us and are going through testing. Lots of OMW's and hand holding here!

Sit down, grab a cushion and a hot choc and get comfortable.

Glittery grrr....that is such a common reaction from people who have never had a mc. You are not being oversensitive, but I do think your Mum is trying, and failing, to make you feel better rather than make you feel worse.

MummyAbroad Thursday isn't that far off, at least now you have a good gynae you can trust the result of the HSG. FX for the all clear.

Lunatic I would be doing 999 too if I were you and had anything out of the ordinary happen. I can understand flu takes more beds, but surely in your case you qualify to be looked after properly. Grrr the NHS.

No news here. My friend who had the m/c has been in pain so I advised her to go to A&E. She went and they gave her Tramadol and sent her for a scan today. Scan showed "something" and she has to go back tomorrow. Why does this sound so familiar? Oh yea, because the exact freaking same thing happened to me! Being on my period and reading the mc forum is making me even less ready to TTC. Did you avoid the mc forum during the early weeks or continue to stalk (other than this thread)?

Thanks for making me feel better ladies. Honestly think I'd lose the plot completely without this thread. Lunatic funnily enough, she is on strong medication, but it doesn't normally remove her sensitivity chip. . The real gem of the conversation were when she asked me quite seriously if this experience was the worst thing that had ever happened to me (my own sodding mother!) and then told me that, statistically, it's unlikely to happen again. I'd love to know whose statistics. Tempted to print off this thread and throw it at her, or maybe introduce her directly to a few of the ladies on this thread. I can't help but hark back to my earlier comment about people with no expertise in this field trying to advise people who have lived/ are living through it.

banana I can only agree with you that somewhere, very, very deep down she thinks she's being helpful. I just question how she thinks it on any level!
Would you believe, she also had a miscarriage? It was very early and before the days of scans, so she was never 100% sure and said it was like a very heavy period. Annoyingly, her story seems to have become more and more dramatic and distressing since I told her about mine. I'm not trying to belittle her experience, more try and understand why anyone who's been there could be so clueless! Sorry to hear about your friend.

I am a little too irate to post anything particularly helpful tonight, but thanks again for being there ladies. I PROMISE a proper catch up tomorrow. In the meantime, remember to breathe Mummy.

Hugs to everyone else. Seems we could all use a few right now.

Have read through the thread to catch up on everyone's news.

Just wanted to say LAF I'm very sorry for your loss. I think we're at the same stage now both with starting the testing process and also the rage at the simple effortless pregnancies of others, can't seem to put the bitterness aside I'm afraid. Have you got an appt date for St Mary's? As I said I've got an appt at the Royal Free (22nd Feb) and it will be good to compare expereinces and what they offer test wise.

Out of interest what is ESH?

And Frazzled congratulations of the birth of Finn, I hope he's doing OK today and no more weight loss.

Ah I get it - would that be a county that Guildford in it, or further east than that?

Hi Clare we can start our journey of testing together. I don't have an appt yet with ST Marys yet. On lunatics and brooks advice of needing a consultant referral for STM, I phoned ESH ( I like your moniker for it lunatic ) and asked for my appt on 1st March to be brought forward. However, the consultant I have to see comes to the hospital every 2 weeks and it will only make 2 weeks difference to the wait. Pretty rubbish id say. I will see what my GP is able to do on my behalf. Incidentally, do you have any experience with Dr Gorti, lunatic ?

glittery im horrified at what your mum said to you. My family hasn't supported me very well either post-mc, so I I don't haven't talked about my thoughts and experiences of the 2nd and 3rd. They don't even know about them. Sometimes saying nothing is the only way to protect yourself.

lunatic if anything, flu sufferers are the ones who should be at home. Good luck in waiting and maybe I'll keep you company at ESH.

I had a bad sleep last night. I woke up at 4:30 after having a dream that I was nursing my baby and I woke up feeling very distressed and confused, trying to remember every detail of the dream of what my baby was like. Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it now.

Lots of love to everyone.

Lady I had some lovely, comments, from some people I really like and respect, thanking me and saying I am brave! I don't think it was a brave statement, just an honest and hopefully helpful one.

Several women shared their own experiences with me that I had no idea about (one who has two children and miscarried twice in between them, in her late twenties I think).

Hello Glittery (you are not being oversensitive! It's amazing that peoople dont' understand that we are dealing with more than a pregnancy loss - it's our hopes and dreams that we have lost too!)

welcome back Loon - sorry you find yourself here again.

Lunatic loving the 'mutual friend strangling' proposition - hope you are holding up.

glittery I really feel for you having to endure those kind of comments - its much worse when it comes from family because you cant tell them to p*ss off or cut them out of your life! My MIL has also had an mc and also seems to have amnesia about it. She must have forgotton what it was like, there is no other explanation for the gibberish she comes out with. The worst bit is I know it is well indended. I cant hate her for it, because she is actually trying to be nice! Having just done high dose HRT, I know how hard it is to keep your cool when hormones are raging - hope you can weather the storm xxx

Lunatic I'm kicking myself that I didnt have this in place already. Our best chances of conceiving are in the first three months following surgery (scar tissue can grow back) so I dont want to miss the first month, its our best chance! Because the HSG is done in the x-ray department, I just turn up, pay (£70) and walk off with the results to show my doctor, the radiographer doing it is a doctor but they cant prescribe me anything, the just do the test. Will probably have to dash across town tommorrow and get them from Mister New Gyne.

By the way, good to hear you have your dongle. we would miss you otherwise

So can anyone tell me why HSG's are scheduled pre-ov? I called three hospitals and they have different criteria (2 said it must be between day 8 and 12 and one between 7 and 10) Is it just to avoid doing it while possibly pregnant? I am temping so pretty confident that last nights SWI wont result in anything (if I do ovulate before the test I can always cancel)

coconuts how/where are you? Hope all is well xxx

Mummy it would seem I'm too irate to sleep, so thought I'd come back and witter about HSGs. Thank you for your kind message btw. I would say it's good to know I'm not alone, though I hate to think of others enduring these comments too!

Firstly, after what you've been through the HSG will be a piece of cake and you get your results immediately, as you already know. Sorry to hear you've had conflicting advice, though try to keep hold of the fact that these are specialists with their own opinions and, hard as it is, try to focus on the successes rather than the horror stories. Many people get pg in the months following an HSG - myself included - and while I don't think it helped in the way that clomid did, it certainly didn't hinder. I also think you couldn't be doing this at a better time. It will enable you to see if everything looks okay in there post surgery and, though I'm quite certain that's a frightening prospect, it's better to know now if there's anything you need to know. I hope you're all shiny and scar free in there and the procedure makes you super fertile!

The reason for the timing of the procedure is, as you thought, to make sure AF has finished but to ensure you definitely aren't pg. I was advised to take a test the night before the procedure.

Very wise to get and start the antibiotics on Wednesday if you can. No doctor should willingly let you have a HSG without them.

The last thing I'd say is to relax as much as you possibly can while they do it. It's not exactly fun, but it's over fairly quickly and if you can take deep breaths as the dye goes in, it really helps to manage any discomfort. Ibuprofen beforehand might help too, but I'm sure it will be a doddle for a superwoman such as yourself. Best of luck. X

aw thanks Glittery! You have just answered my burning question

Now get some sleep! A woman in your condition needs her rest

Hi all :)

mummy I am here don't worry! Been busy here the last couple of days. Pleased to hear you have a HSG date so soon. You are doing the right thing and afterwards you will be all shiny and new and hopefully our next BFP Thank you for thinking of me.

frazzled Hope you and DH and Finn are doing well. My other friend has a number for a different reflexologist which I will get in the next couple of days.

mumtron dying to hear all about the birth. Hope Eliza is doing well and you and DH are coping nicely :)

lunatic Hope you are well. Definitely don't be worried about calling 999 even if you are remotely worried. It is your right to proper care. Hope the MW calls you back today. Glad you have your dongle, wouldn't want to miss all the news would we?!

hairy That was an amazing FB post and I am pleased it has brought some of your friends forward to talk about theirs. at you regular cycle! I am shocked at your friend pushing that aspirin conversation. The insensitivity of some people really surpasses my expectations!

digi no other advice regarding improving sperm apart from what has already been said. It must be a shock to him but more than likely a one off and the next test may be completely normal.

glittery Hope you are well. I feel sad for you that you really pushed yourself to tell your mum your brilliant news but she can't be more helpful and supportive. My mum is the same. She has had two abortions (that's a whole other thread for me) but she always compares how she felt doing that to how I felt about my mcs. Er, they don't even come into the same category. My mum also does the whole it happened for a reason speech and what will be, will be blah blah. You are totally not being over sensitive. I hope you have calmed down and got some rest last night.

julez Hope you are well, good luck for today's appointment :)

banana Hope your friend is ok as can be expected?

LAF For your records I am A- but I don't know what DH or DD is. I have always had the anti-D when I've been told to and have donated blood since I was allowed.

Claire Welcome back, but sorry for the circumstances for which you find yourself here.

Lady Well done on your badgering, hope it goes ok for tomorrow :)

hi girls
well i dont know how long i have waited to right this message but this morning i done a test and i got a possitive them 2 blue lines are the most fab thing iv ever seen i cant belive its finally happened i thought i was infetile i just hope this pregnany will be healthy and last till full term ! :D
you have all been such a good help to me i dont know what i would do without this site threw those 9 months of trying everyone of you that wrote to me and answered me id like to say thankyou so much for keeping me sane and realising im not the only one

How are all you girls doing any news??
i think im going to curl up in bed and eat loads of choclate whist watching a film hehe xxxxxx

Oh wow thats fab news justmee Congratulations :) Yes this thread is brilliant and I have a feeling this year is going to be a positive one for all the ladies here. Please don't disappear now though. You have to stay around and keep us updated.

I went to my gynae appointment and practically got a definite diagnosis just got to have some bloods and go back in 6 weeks for a treatment plan.

Bed and chocolate sounds good, but stay healthy :) xx

i will deffo be staying here youll b begging me to leave after haha! :D
i couldt live without this site haha :D

Congratulations justmee thats fab news! What a lovely start to the year!

mummyabroad great that you got your HSG booked in so quickly, hopefully it's not too late.

glittery mums, tut. Is all I can say. My mum doesn't comment much on my miscarriages. Last time I was pregnant I came back from the ill-fated 2nd scan in tears, she thought I was over reacting...

hairy very brave to post that on your FB. I don't think I could bring myself to do that, even though there are days when I really want to. Glad to hear you're getting positive and sympathetic feedback.

LAF I'm sorry, I have no idea what my blood type is but I can't be Rhesus neg as it wasn't flagged in my pg with ds. Sorry to hear you're not sleeping well. Have you thought about getting some counselling? Sorry if I keep banging on about it. I won't mention it again.

banana hope your friend is ok. It's somehow worse seeing the same thing happen to a friend, partly because of the awful memories, but mainly because you know how much they'll be hurting.

claire welcome back. I'm also just having tests done after my third mc. Hormones and physical scans all came up normal. DH's sperm analysis not looking great, but told it's nothing to worry about. Waiting for clotting and karyotyping results. I have a follow up appointment in Feb to discuss all the results. Hopefully we can share all the info and prod each other to ask the right questions.

mumatron thanks for the reassurance

lunatic jules and frazzled thinking of you.

Well on a sort of positive note, I am very surprised that my temp seems to be on it's way up as this is far too early for me to be getting my hopes up about ovulation. But thankfully we've been SFF, so will wait and see what my temps do over the next few days.

Lunatic thinking of you and sending lots of sticky floor East Slope love.

Justmee congratulations. Sending you lots of sticky thoughts, lets hope this one is uneventful and calm all the way through and 8 months from now you are holding your beautiful baby!

coconuts Hi! I have a house full of sick people too! I am alright though as I just had a flu jab, its also includes swine flu vaccination so as soon as everyone is better I am going to get the rest of the family done. Can you go and get the bloods and then if AF comes just turn up again and ask for them again on the grounds that the doctor said CD2 if it becomes possible?

Lunatic bed tomorrow is good news, but if you are in pain, then go asap. There is nothing like arriving in an ambulance to get everyones attention! Seriously, you can just call one anytime and go in. You got kicked out of hospital for the wrong reasons, trust your own instincts about where you should be and what you need, not any money saving beaurocrat in the hospital. You and DH are obviously really worried, act on that worry, dont ignore it. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks all :D its not sinking in just yet :D xxxx

keep us posted lunatic

Not sure that I can mummy as I have to go to the hospital to have them done (45 minutes away) they apparently can't be done at my surgery or at the blood test hospital up the road. So if AF comes I won't have a blood form to get them repeated. Unless I rang consultant to ask for repeats. I'm not sure how this testing malarkey works I have no idea if AF is even going to come. I'm achy and moody, nothing out of the ordinary, but have an unusual amount of discharge (TMI sorry ) I'm not sure if this means anything?

I take it you can't have a flu jab while you have the flu then? I'm thinking of getting us all done because I hate to see DD ill. DH needs to just man up and look after himself haha!

lunatic Hope you are ok. Keep us posted, thinking of you.

coco Thats a great idea, ring the consultant explain whats happening and ask for repeats. They can only say "no". Worth a phone call I'd say.

No, you cant have the flu jab while I'll. I too am waiting for DH and DS to get better so I can march them off to get jabbed (and I know who will cry more, and he is not 2.8 years old) When I went to get mine there was a huge queue of sniffly suffers buying paracetomol! I think there is an epidemic here.

Well I am feeling proud of myself as I have managed to sort:
HSG
antibiotics
pre-HSG scan to check I am still pre-ov

and all at different places by different doctors! Phew!

Crikey, you really are so organised and superwoman-like!

I'm not sure on the procedure here in England re flu jabs and 2 year olds. But I imagine DH would definitely be more of a wimp! We went to buy flu remedy the other day, we had like four boxes and calpol we got a few faces like we were trying to overdose haha! I think DH is slowly getting better, he has actually eaten some dinner tonight and his temperature is down to 37 instead of the 39 it has been.