Silent Miscarriage

[hairytriangle]

my baby has no heartbeat. It was picked up on a ten week (private) scan yesterday.

I have been to hospital today and they have said they won't re-scan me and that I can:

1. Wait to miscarry
2. Have tablets to miscarry (but they won't scan me first)
3. Have surgery to evacuate

What would you do?

I am totally devastated and I don't know what to do. I would take the tablets but they won't re-scan me and I know that I would beat myself up if I did it without knowing for sure (ie: confirmation that there is definately no heartbeat).

If they would look at the fetus to see what was wrong (if anything) then I would have surgery - but they won't as it's only my second MC (this year ) :(
Thanks.

Thanks Jolls.

I really don't think I can cope with the physical side of things. Have seen lots of people talking about 'passing the sac' and I am in tears just thinking about it.

x

Can anyone answer a silly question? I assume you go in with just a gown on. When you wake up, what are you wearing? how do they deal with the bleeding (do they put knickers and a pad on you when you are asleep?)

Hi, Just wanted to offer my sympathies. I had a MMC. I thought I was 16 weeks but found my baby had died at 9 weeks (no 12 week scans where I live) It was the worst thing to ever happen to me and I struggled to cope for a long time.

you go in wearing gown and if necessary (I had started bleeding a bit both times) with nice disposable pants and pad. And you whip then off at the last minute.

when you wake up, there will be a flat pad under you.... and when you get dressed you'll need to sort yourself out as it were, so take some pads and non special pants with you for coming home (nice comfy clothes too).

Neither time after ERPC for me, was there too much blood.

Good luck my lovely xx

(And FWIW I was very tearful both times in recovery - crying as I came round from the GA. Even though I'd been ok in the morning pre-surgery - maybe something hits your sub/unconscious state :( )

Thanks mememe - so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing. Gosh, how awful to find out so late :( I was lucky to be able to get a private scan.

Yesterday I got a letter about my dating scan, and it was booked for 2nd Dec, so I'm really glad I found out sooner rather than later.

I've put the letter in my memory box. it's only got medical type stuff in it, but I am going to write a letter about how I feel and put that in there too.

Thanks jolls

Sorry to hear about your situation, good luck, just mc myself.

Sorry for your loss heskie

Hi hairy - I hope you are having as much of a peaceful weekend as possible. To echo what jolls said - I went down in a gown with paper knickers and a pad as I had just started to bleed (they gave me some suppositries (sp?)to soften the cervix so you may have some spotting. I took a dressing gown too as otherwise you walk down with your bum on show. I also woke up crying, but with emotions and the GA it's only to be expected. Good luck on Monday xxxx

Hi Battery I'm not doing too badly. Waking up is the worst part, because I've had dreams of one sort and another relating to this and one day I woke up forgetting what had happened.

But we are getting out for a little walk every day, but taking it easy and watching feel good movies and eating chocolate :)

I have been having quite odd thoughts - about 'stealing' a baby ( I never would) or trying to find someone who's got one they don't want .

We've decided to give it one more go naturally and then go for IVF. After that if we are still unsuccessful, we will look into adoption and fostering.

I need to have a plan to keep me sane. I also need to give myself time to grieve for this one.

Apologies for 'stream of consciousness'

I'm just washing my dressing gown and best PJs in case :)

Hairy - just wanted to see how you were.

I also found waking up and going to bed the worst parts of the days. x

just popping in to say to hairy - I will be thinking of you today - I hope everything goes as well as it can, whatever you decide xx

hi hairy pretty much what battery just said. Big squeeze for you today.

Hi, just to say thanks everyone.

Everyone at hospital was lovely - I'm being admitted tonight for ERPC first thing. I'm glad I made this decision and I talked it through with the doc today and he had no hesitation understanding that I don't want to go through what the other possible options entail.

He also says there is no reason whatsoever not to try again, and that I am clearly able to get pregnant (twice in six months!) so this time it was unlucky and probably chromosomal issues.

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and advice - you've really helped me through this.

good luck, we shall all be metaphorically holding your hand.

Good luck hairy - hope it goes as well as it possibly can do.

I too hope it goes as well as it can xx

hairy ((((hugs))))

I have said this already on another thread, but i just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts xxxxxxx

Pants that the hosp have been dicking you about, last thing you need! Good that you are to be re-scanned. Wishing you the strength to get through it x

Thanks all. I'm gowned up ready. Op about nine o'clock I think.

Hairy I have just seen this thread and wanted to say how sorry I am to read about what has happened. I will be thinking of you today. Lots of love x

hope all's gone well today
spoil yourself and rest for a few days

regroup when you have your energy back. Maybe worth taking some spatone to get your iron levels back up.

take care x

thinking of you x

Jeepers! I am an odd one! Had a bit of a fainting fit and terrible cramps about one o'clock after procedure. Just seen surgeon.

He said he did not remove any tissue just 5mm blood. So I've been re scanned and they can't see a pregnancy.

There is a very clear pic on file of the fetus taken from yesterdays scan.

They are going to rescan me tomorrow on the better scanner .

I feel in surprisingly good spirits. I thunk I'm kind of thinking that my body is very good at hanging on to babies so if we can just get a healthy fetus in there we have a chance!!

Ps thanks all. And wave to amanda.

It puts my problem into perspective Hairy, even if he is 6'4! We've missed you on our thread, do come and visit when you're feeling a bit better x