What did your mum or grandmother tell you about perimenopause?

[TheUmberKoala]

I've been having a long-overdue conversation with my mother about her experience of perimenopause. She's in her 60s now. When I asked her what anyone had ever told her about it growing up, she said her own mother had once told her: "It happens, it's a phase."

That was it. Five words. For something she lived with for years.

My older sisters are approaching that same age now, and I've been thinking about how much of this silence is generational. The dismissal, the lack of anyone passing down practical knowledge, the way the topic just wasn't discussed at home.

I'd love to hear from this group: what did your mum or grandmother tell you about perimenopause growing up? Was it spoken about at home, or was it taboo? And for those of you who've been through it (or are in it now), what do you wish someone had actually told you?

Not looking for medical advice or anything to buy. Just curious about the inheritance, or the lack of it, and how families pass this knowledge down (or don't).

No mention of it by name, but she did tell me she'd had to come home from work after flooding, a couple of times. Her take on it years later was that she "just got on with it" and gave the usual internalised misogynistic comments about vain shallow women taking hrt when there was no need, but looking back she was unable to sleep, extremely rageful and lost jobs and friendships as a result. She also soon after developed osteoporosis (not helped by all the dietary advice prevailing throughout her adult life to drink and eat only low fat dairy products I am sure) and broke lots of bones doing normal activities around the house. Her life definitely became smaller, more difficult and eventually more painful.

I do feel sad about all the generations of women who were brought up to believe that talking about their bodies was inappropriate, attention seeking and wrong and were therefore left alone, and left each other alone, when dealing with anything that only affects women. It was an inbuilt societal isolation that exacerbated difficulties. I'm sure anyone over around 50 can remember women in the neighbourhood who "suffered with their nerves", or "took to their beds", or otherwise stayed in the house all day. Maybe these women's lives would have been better if they had even just spoken to each other about what they were experiencing.