Terrified by menopause

[Elaston]

It’s great there’s more awareness on the menopause, but does anyone else now just feel eeven more anxious to enter it?! The discussions have turned away from supporting women to treating through ‘the change’ towards labelling it as a ‘disease’. Literally. Terrifying!! As if women don’t have enough to deal with…

@JawJaw I completely agree with you.

Of course I recognise some women have a far worse time than others. At a time when we're probably challenged by children leaving the nest, elderly parents and a busy working life along comes the menopause and it adds another level.

But nevertheless it is perfectly natural and nothing to be 'terrified' of.

I always feel a little bullied on here when I talk about not taking HRT. People trying to scare me into taking it. I went through menopause 20 years ago and honestly don't feel I need it.

But just watch this space

Yeah, bullying & scaremongering is how the HRT fans sound to me, too.
I'm all for modern medicine making life nicer deffo.
So if HRT does that for you then great.
Just the evangelical tone + scaremongering from HRT fans turns me off ... it's tiresome.
I flee at high speed from any talk of "adjustments for menopause in the workplace" too.
FFS, if people are unwell then they need help. Why single out menop as a cause of ill health, in workplace?

I can't remember a time when menopause was taboo, had stigma & wasn't out in the open. We were taught lots about menopause in school in 1970s, that it was very commonly a big physical adjustment. And no stigma I recall on Golden Girls in the 1980s.

I wasn’t taught anything about menopause in the 80s

I'm 37 and having regular periods, I've never taken hormonal contraception (only used condoms) or had any hormonal or gynae issues. I have no idea what to expect from peri-menopause or menopause etc. If I don't want to suffer or soldier on particularly and am fine with taking whatever, what symptoms should I look out for and then when should I start asking for HRT?

I can just about see that someone who is OP's age is feeling worried (maybe even terrified?) because of all the media focus on the menopause.

And the media chooses examples of women who suffer . They aren't going to write/make programmes about women who don't.
And the treatment of menopause has been archaic for decades.

We've gone from not talking about the menopause at all (society) to trying to redress that (but in a way that it's becoming - perhaps- making women like @Elaston, overly worried.)

When all women receive the treatment they need (or no treatment) from educated HCP, the media frenzy might stop. But so many aren't.

I do wonder however why @Elaston hasn't rejoined the conversation she started. Was it a genuine question?

@lljkk Did you go to school in the UK in the 70s? The menopause was not on the curriculum then, except perhaps a very brief mention in a biology lesson or maybe PSH, as it was called then.

For me, its definitely daunting much like it was during puberty. The difference now is a not having peers going through the same thing at the same time, and not having a trusted person to give reassurance and advice . The only menopause advice we got at school was to jump 50 times in the morning to prevent osteoporosis.

I'm not sure if I need to 'do' anything or just let in run its course. There's so much agenda to everything now and push for supplements and hormones I don't know what to think.

It's different for everyone. I knew because I starting basically feeling like shit! Mood swings, tiredness, emotional outbursts, brain fog. There are loads of symptoms it seems. I suppose in time, if you start to notice any differences keep a diary. You might not have any 😬

Thank you @JamSlags (excellent name). I think that chronically ill/disabled people like me have a different perspective and relationship with our bodies. I'm not strong or slim or fit now, so the likelihood of me being that way post menopause is minimal - I get that some women are, but they're probably ones who were in good physical shape before.

It really scares me that I'm going to go through this awful process and come out the other side even tireder and in more pain and even fatter. But apparently my fears are nonsense.

But apparently my fears are nonsense.
Not nonsense, just not inevitable that they will be fulfilled. It's the assumption of inevitability that's being argued against. Not trivialising the very real and debilitating symptoms some women will face.

Print out the NICE guidance and go back to your GP and if they still don't do anything, ask to see another. And if it is the same complain as they are going against NICE guidelines by not treating you. You are not too young, of course you aren't. The average age is 51 for the menopause and the perimenopause starts 7 to 10 years before.

Not nonsense, and I hope unfulfilled. I get it’s harder when you’re starting already behind. I hope when it comes it’s manageable for you x

OP not been back?

<looks around>

I tend to think if you lose hope it means you have to be resigned to living with continual disappointment. If you decide not to lose hope then you aren't disappointed. Some things may not work out but you just then hope for something else.

This ethos helped me through cancer treatment. Thinking the worst is no way to live IMO.

@JamSlags thank you - you are excellent x

48 yrs old, found perimenopause to be rather annoying and confusing as I'm a creature of routine! I hated having irregular periods during peri (never heavy or painful), but when they were regular, I hated PMT even more 😠 Threw an actual glass vase at my hubby once!

No hot flushes, not a load of weight gain, hair and skin haven't suffered.

I take HRT as I started peri quite young and for prevention of bone issues.

Take it as comes OP. Just stay informed. Keep options open. Eat well. Exercise.

I so use to feel ok I was told as an extra during a private scan. I was there making sure my liver gallbladder and kidneys were fine. Instead I was hearing how a fibroid couldn’t be found under hysterscopy ga and now could be along with evidence of peri seen in left ovary. No one medical has ever viewed the right ovary. And to think well women pay this ‘menopause expert of a gynaecologist’. Rather them than me!

Feel like a naughty school girl trying to have the coil removed on the 4th (I only hope the mirena is ends up in clinical waste) and to stuff the next smear where it doesn’t shine cos of how badly women's health is actually treated.

A women’s right to chose. 4 months on nonetheless after an infection and a series of cancelled appointments concerning that removal. Who are they kidding it’s a women’s body to decide. 🤷🏻‍♀️