Terrified by menopause

[Elaston]

It’s great there’s more awareness on the menopause, but does anyone else now just feel eeven more anxious to enter it?! The discussions have turned away from supporting women to treating through ‘the change’ towards labelling it as a ‘disease’. Literally. Terrifying!! As if women don’t have enough to deal with…

Yep. Being as it's now also classed as a disability too. The whole movement has made me dread it

Nobody is calling it a disease apart from you OP lol.

And believe me women were not previously supported through the change. They were ignored.

It is a natural event, and evolved because prehistoric human children needed to be cared for and nurtured by 2 generations, not just one

I"ve been going through it for 10 years now and have survived. Yes, the hot flushes weren't fun, and the weight gain is crap, but it's honestly not something to inspire terror!!!

@Blimpton there are NICE guidelines and I think 45 is the magic age where they are not supposed to fob you off with too young, mental health issues and other excuses for lack of treatment

Yes and it often coincides with the worst time of a woman's life.

For many its a horrendous experience.

Childbirth is natural but its still the most dangerous time of a woman's life.

Went through the menopause at 42, no issues at all.

I was peri menopausal for over 10 years. Now post menopausal, still having problems with my joints (arthritis) . Recently saw my doctor and she had no clue about post menopausal problems!!!! 🙄🙄

Agree op

Worried about being too dry for sex ever again

Worry about osteoporosis

Worry about becoming mad and irrational

Ugh

I'm sorry it's made you feel nervous about it - there's no need.

As PP said, it's like puberty in reverse. Some people are more strongly affected by hormonal changes than others.

The new awareness is brilliant for all of us who were having a godawful time - we finally get some answers and help, but I can understand it's unnerving for the many who get through without too much difficulty.

Don't fret about it. When it happens to you it will be easy, middling or hard no matter how much or how little you gave it thought, so why not assume the best?

Should you need support you can see a doctor for help (ask your practice for the menopause specialist, lots of surgeries have one GP who is much better on peri issues than others). Should you not need the help, brilliant!

I wasn’t scared of menopause but it has been utterly shit for me, despite being on HRT. The media makes out that’s some magic bullet but it isn’t for everyone, and I’m scared to come off it in case I end up even more mad and fat!

@blimpton . If you havent already done so, please ask for a second opinion. From some of the forums I have read,sometimes it literally ends up on the GP you see whether they will treat you or not. I'm the same age, went to see my doctor (thought I was going mad!) and was given patches etc. I feel great now. Don't be fobbed off.

@Blimpton as pp have said please seek a second opinion, even if you have to see a private GP. No woman should be housebound because of their periods whether it’s peri or some other cause.

Meh. I'm 45, no symptoms yet. If I do get some I'll see what is available to help but I'm not assuming I will need any help. I'm not assuming I'll sail through it either but no point worrying about something that might not ever be an issue

Germaine Greer wrote an excellent book "the change" . If you've got endometriosis/adenomyosis or polycystic syndrome you're in for a bumpy ride and GPs are very variable - friends of mine have been offered testosterone or a pill that has both progesterone and oestrogens.. my GP keeps prescribing just oestrogen which makes me worse.

It's a time when you can feel very vulnerable but also angry and powerful and many of us renegotiate our relationships with our DC, DH, friends, work and parents. Lots of women take HRT and lots just blunder through it. It's different for everyone but don't be scared, there is something very liberating about no longer being vulnerable to accidental pregnancy and monthly periods. Many of us feel we finally have things on our own terms. If you got through puberty you will navigate this and come out the other side stronger :)

Everybody is different and I don't agree with people on here minimising it sure some sail through it but many don't . I felt like I fell off a cliff at 42 , extreme anxiety and heart palpitations , sore dry eyes , painful sex , constant uti's , headaches that would last for days , brain fog that made me question my sanity and capability , sweating , flooding , extreme fatigue , I could go on . You don't know how it will go for you but I suggest going privately to a menopause clinic , I did because I knew my gp would say I was too young . On hrt and Mirena coil for about 4 months now and about 80% percent better . I had to work part time for a year to cope and I'm usually very efficient and capable at work but I barely kept my head above water . My mother and grandmother were depressed and angry in their 40's and it had very negative long lasting effects on their children . You need to do a lot of your own research . High protein diet . Start lifting weights .

Woman's hour did a long special on menopause about ten years ago. Every day for about 8 weeks they spent ten minutes focusing on it. The whole thing left me terrified. Of course (like mumsnet) it leant toward a negative bias (happy people don't tell their stories) . Since I've spoken o all of the older women in my life who have all told me it was fine. People who are aired are the exception not the rule. I'm glad now that if I have the more extreme effects I know about it- but equally I know it's not the norm

i had 2 really, really heavy periods and then ….they stopped. And that was it. No other symptoms.

I'm completely terrified yes.
I experienced very bad mental health due to hitting puberty at 9. Then I have extreme mood swings leading up to my periods. Then I developed anxiety and depression when I was pregnant.. then I had post natal psychosis. Then I developed Disphoric milk ejection reflex..
I can't take hormonal birth control at all because it sends me nuts. I took the morning after pill once and it massively effected my mental health for a few weeks..
Basically I do not react well to hormonal changes.
I had been hoping that the menopause would mean the end of some of that shit..
I know now from what other women have told me that it can massively exacerbate all that shit.. as your hormones are going nuts..
It's just so wonderful being a woman

My gran, mum, myself and 3 sisters sailed through the menopause. Periods stopped one day and that was it.

Apart from occasional insomnia, for me the menopause has been simple and pain free.

no need to panic.

Never heard of anyone referring to it as a disease. I imagine women are happy that they have options for getting relief of symptoms in order to lead normal lives and don't have to be ashamed of that.

The discussions have turned away from supporting women

When? When was the discussion ever about supporting women? Come on. Women were expected to muddle through and we still are. Getting any care and treatment is difficult and women are left to manage alone.

Label it a disease, there's a small chance someone might do something.

This OP reads like a wind-up or a journalist. OP are you actually a women in peri, or actual menopause? Or just chatting about it.

This! Also, many women go through it with minimal disruption to their life. I barely noticed it.

@Elaston Are you actually heading towards menopause or just opening a debate? Your post about Louise Newson sounds quite confrontational.

Its true that many female diseases in later life are directly linked to loss of estrogen. That doesn't mean menopause is a 'disease'. There's a subtle difference.

In previous generations it was a taboo topic. Hushed up as The Change.

Women did go through it. The life expectancy was lower and most women did not live to their mid 80s.

But many suffered. But often in silence.
In previous times (and still now) women were/ are prescribed antidepressants for their symptoms by GPs who didn't understand menopause.

Also, many women suffered with debilitating osteoporosis.

Women who say they were 'fine' are a small minority. And lucky.
Stats show that only 20% of women are 'fine' (meaning they have no symptoms.) And women who feel they 'escaped' often find by 60 or 70 that they have osteoporosis. Often, you can't feel the long term effects of menopause for some years.