Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

@alimcphee There are gels and patches as well as tablets. Look here to find out more:

www.menopausematters.co.uk/oestrogens.php
www.menopausematters.co.uk/treatafter.php

Tablets tend to be the cheapest option. Transdermal can be a bit faffy, but is sometimes better as the hormone does not go through the liver (where it is metabolised) before it goes in the blood stream. This might not be your problem, but it is worth trying the other options too.

I ran out of the medicine my herbalist makes me this week and already I'm getting the aching arms and crashing fatigue and hit sweats, so I'm more sure than ever that it's helping! Just been to get another month's supply,so relieved!

(oh and it also increased my libido!)

That sounds amazing @Belonger what's it called?

It's a bespoke mixture of herbal medicines that she makes up for me, based on discussions of my symptoms. The libido thing was an accidental side effect! So I had an initial consultation for about an hour where she asked lots of questions about symptoms, other health issues etc. Then she makes a prescription really, which she has tweaked once when we found that it was helping hugely with pain but not so much with flooding.
I take a few spoonfuls every day with water - it takes utterly vile but I don't care, it's made such a difference to my quality of life.
I'm sure there'll be a national register of accredited/qualified medical herbalists

Ah, here www.nimh.org.uk/

Thanks that's fab. I really want to look in to alternative medicine. Especially as there's no chance I'll get HRT at my age. GP doesn't even want to test me for hormones as my cycles are still more than 21 and less that 31 days, however I'm not going to know now going forward cos of having the mirena fitted.

I was pretty sceptical but went along because a friend spoke highly of her. And it really has been life changing.

Don't get me wrong, I still have symptoms I could do without, my cycle is a bit crazy and I'm fatigued sometimes and still get cramps (always have). I'm reluctant to go down the hrt for various reasons, although not ruling it out. It's just nice to have an alternative to try.

I kind of want to accept this process as much as I can

sammysamkins. I'm 45, with similar symptoms, and my GP put me on Femoston straight away. The anxiety and mood swings stopped within a couple of weeks. I'm still having problems with my scattiness/procrastinating/feeling overwhelmed, but I'm only six weeks in to the meds and my GP said it could take three months for the HRT to kick in, and to stick with it. She said she would up my dose if I needed it.

Fianceechickie - it's difficult to say where you are in menopause with the Mirena coil but if it hasn't stopped your periods yet then at least you still have your cycle as a guide. Not sure if anyone's already said on this thread but a shortening cycle is classic late reproductve stage - the last stage before perimenopause (according to STRAW criteria on stageing). At this point hormones start to go wonky and symptoms may begin in some women. If your periods stop with the Mirena at your age ( was it 38?) I would demand 2 sets of blood tests - specifically FSH tests - which should be carried out 4-6 weeks apart. Although FSH testing is unreliable as levels vary so much a rasuied FSH level is indiciative of peri-menopause (although peri cannot be ruled out if it isn't raised). Have a look at the menopause matters website re diagnosis of premature menopause. If you are heading for premature (under 40) or early menopause ( age 40 -45) then current advice is to take HRT at least until the average age of natural menopause of 51/52 - to protect cardiovascular health, strengthen bones and help protect against osteoporosis.

Even though your doc does not want to test you now - do keep an eye on your cycle especially if it peters out because this may well mean you have become peri-menopausal and it is important to ascertain this due to your age, and especially if you are having classic menopausal symptoms of flushes and sweats.

Your doc should carry out some sort of investigations if you are having these symptoms anyway - because if not due to beginnings of perimenopause then what?

Some women (the unfortunate ones!) seem to get menopausal flushes and sweats even before periods become irregular.

I had Mirena 3 years ago at age 43 for increasingly heavy periods/fibroid symptoms. I was reluctant and struggled on for a couple of years but it was honestly life-changing.

Classic peri symptoms then crept in, the worst were the anxiety, brain fog, fatigue and insomnia with sweating at night. My GP without question let me try Evorel patches, the smallest to begin with, I'm now on 50s.

I feel normal again and when my Mirena runs out I'm definitely having another even though getting it put in wasn't the nicest experience.

I never tolerated the contraceptive pill when I was younger so was really reluctant to try anything with synthetic hormones but I'm so glad I have. I have my quality of life back both physically and psychologically.

Yes hun. I'm nearly 60. And have been suffering the same misery. Can't wait for it to end. Poor you may have a long way to go yet. I am taking 1mg of Celeste. And it takes the worst of my symptoms away.But I had a full hysterectomy.

Can I join in? I'm 42, and I"m sure I'm peri-menopausal. The 66 symptoms list was eye-opening, especially all the comments about sleep. I've never had problems with sleep, now it's bit all over the place, lots of vivid dreams, continually knackered. Also in a place where I get very grumpy. I've had depression in the past, and I always said the difference between depression and feeling grumpy, was with depression you hate yourself and when you're grumpy you hate everyone else. At the moment I hate everyone else, also get a bit ranty about things.

Is it worth going to see the GP about it? is there anything they can do? Not sure if it's worth getting HRT.

I am 53 next month. Still have regular periods, although much lighter.

I get really bad pains in my feet, apparently that is a symptom. I get really anxious sometimes, and a bit paranoid too. Even as I am stressing I know it is meno related. I just say to myself, this too shall pass, this too shall pass. I now have vertigo going down stairs. Noises gives me the rage, people clapping at golf matches on the TV (had to leave the room this weekend as my DH was watching the golf), people typing, people eating crisps, the water sloshing around in the iron, fountains. This is all new!

I have been taking flaxseed oil and starflower capsules for about 20 years, not for meno, for skin. I stopped taking them a couple of weeks ago, suddenly I am getting night sweats. I have swiftly started taking them again. I think alcohol makes the heat worse. (I have also started taking Vit D in a spray too in the last few years.)

I don,t have much of a sex drive at the best of times. Nowadays it is non-existent, but I am not bothered about that. I have recently lost 2 stones so I can’t blame meno for not being able to lose weight. My waist has got slim so at least the weight has not settled around my middle.

If my symptoms stay like this I will stay off HRT. I have not even been to see a GP. The worse symptoms for me are my painful feet and the general anxiety.

Women get a disproportionate amount of shit to deal with in life, don’t they??!!

I'd join please. Pretty sure that's where I am, and could do with some help navigating this. I am soooo bad tempered ALL THE TIME haha

Hello everyone. I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm 52 and still having reasonably regular periods. Had a 6 week long one in February. Very heavy bleeding, angry and irritated at everything and everyone! So exhausted all the time. The worst thing for me is the mental stuff. I struggle with depression and have done for years but it's now worse. Already on antidepressants. My eating is out of control and am struggling to eat healthily. Worst of all is I've become very inward looking and feel an overwhelming sadness and bitterness about my life. Not successful and dp and I both work full-time but still can't afford a decent holiday. No end in sight on work front and will be flogging myself to death until mid sixties! Hate where we live but can't afford to move. I do own my own home and have a smallish mortgage. Don't feel like I'm living life like I should. Dp doesn't want to do much and dd is 15 and doesn't want to do much either. Definite existential type stuff, stressful job etc. I could go on but won't! Really though I feel horrendous and just want to run away from my life. Then feel guilt about that too.

Does this sound like peri stuff? Sorry for the pity fest. Would love to get some advice. Went to docs and they wouldn't put me on HRT. Thanks.

I find the mental stuff the worst too. I’m doing CBT, but it’s not really working yet. Getting enough sleep seems to help although that’s easier said than done. Hope everyone finds a bit of relief somewhere this weekend

Thanks Babyteeth. I think I need some kind of counselling. I'm having a horrendous weekend and can't stop crying. I'm furious with dp as he won't sort the house out and now he's peed off because I shouldn't have had a go at him about it. Well what can I bloody say to him!? I actually feel like running away from it all.

Hello, so glad to find this thread.
I'm 47 and my periods have all but stopped.
My sleep is terrible, wake at 4am most mornings, eventually fall back to sleep between 5 and 6am when we get up.
Feel knackered and crap all the time.
More recently i've been feeling really down in the dumps. Went for a family walk this weekend and that helped a great deal.
Short tempered, but trying to keep a lid on it for the sake of DH and DS.
My bones ache, especially my knees.
I swim a lot and get outside as much as possible.
Brain is so foggy and I'm losing self confidence by the second. Awful.

I've only had one weekend of hot flushes about a year ago. That was weird , hope they never come back.

I may go to GP for a check up and see if she recommends anything.

Crap, isn't it?

@citychick , I had elbow joint pains .
Started HRT last week. Went almost immediately!
( not peri though, through that now)
I found that flushes stopped , then restarted. Everyone is different.

Hello! What a great idea.
Would be great if it's a continuous thread.
This is exactly what I need right now - makes me feel less lonely just reading about others going through the same things.

About 4 years into peri and it is horrible - been waiting for this amazing second wind to kick in, the one that seems to be on display in every menopause related advert...tousled hair as you jog lightly in your chinos and white linen shirt (shoes in hand) along a sunny beach with your cashmere jumper casually slung about your shoulders, husband with massive white teeth and silvery hair smiling at you in the background...pfffft!

In reality I seem to have constant heavy periods, random pains, hot sweats, night sweats, insomnia, thinning wiry hair, full moustache & chin whiskers, no energy, foul moods, palpitations, panic attacks, sense of impending doom, a barrel shaped middle & a house full of males who don't know how to handle it. I don't even know how to handle it, my moods are all over the place!
Seriously considering asking for HRT. Would anyone recommend it? x

@threewheeler - I was trying to avoid HRT but peri hit me like the biggest ton of bricks just after Christmas, so I would have crawled over broken glass to get it. It's helping. Not with everything, but it's definitely helping.

Thanks chockaholic72. Glad you are getting to a better place with it. Think that's all the encouragement I need to give it a go - if it can help with something it'll be worth it.
Hope you continue to feel better - it's grim how fast peri can take you from feeling relatively ok to feeling like a complete bag of spanners. Good luck!

Threewheeler1 I would definitely recommend it. I had the same symptoms as you and now have the Mirena which stopped the heavy periods and estrogen patches. I just feel so much more positive and on an even keel about everything now, have taken on more challenges at work, have lost weight and have the energy to do more exercise. I'm in my 40s and understand HRT also has other health benefits for my age group which, for me anyway, given the quality of life I have regained, outweigh any potential risks.

Also I found cutting down in sugar has made a big difference. I have been using My Fitness Pal to log my food /calories to lose weight so naturally have had to cut back on the sweet stuff which I was addicted to. I've been doing it since Christmas and have wondered why I'm feeling so different and realised I don't have these mad carb cravings or energy slumps any more which I just thought before were hormone-related.