Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

Mumtee have you had a thyroid blood test? I was weepy, shivery, exhausted etc and turned out my thyroid was very underactive.

I'm really pleased to find this thread, thanks OP. In the last couple of years (I'm 52) I seem to have gone from having short, light, regular periods to long, heavy periods to then having irregular light bleeding, but very watery (pink or orange).

I was thinking about trying an app to see if I can make sense of the bleeding and indentify a pattern but tbh it seems so random I'd struggle to know when each actual period starts.

I can have small amounts of blood every day for three weeks, waxing and waning over time. I might be clean and dry and suddenly I'll be walking around and a teaspoon of watery blood makes an appearance, then no more blood for days. It's really hard to get my head around it.

I agree with you OP that a lot of the advice is patronising and useless. All our reproductive lives we're told to be on the lookout for abnormal stuff like bleeding in between periods, and now apparently anything and everything is normal, except for those things you're meant to know are abnormal. So I'm sitting with this spotting and bleeding thinking about what to do next because I anticipate that the GP will tell me (again) that it's all normal and natural.

Also having the usual mood swings, trouble sleeping, joint pain etc but the thing that disturbs me most is the weird bleeding.

@quickkimchi thanks. I hsve had thyroid checked in the past but probably not that recently. I was getting regular blood tests for a while cos of tiredness and discovered low ferritin and did fsh too which was raised on one test.

Might go back to gp. She seemed a bit frustrated cos I didn't want mirena coil, hrt or antidepressants!

@quickkimchi you sound like you are having a rough time. Hope you get some answers too.

Had a good read through of this thread today, so glad I’ve found it!

Think on about day 37 and no period, usual cycle is 25 days. Had a few streaks of blood on wiping the last couple of days, all the feeling of coming on but still no period.
How do I know what’s normal and what should be investigated

Have had recent transvaginal, abdo scan and CT for stomach issues which only picked up gallstones, so I’m hoping there’s nothing else to be concerned about

GP is of the school of thought that I’m too young for menopausal symptoms at 46 and put a previous missed period down to being more likely to be pregnant

Makes me reluctant to go back with any other questions to be honest.

Glad to have found this thread. I had a sub-total hysterectomy at age 37, so kept ovaries and cervix. All has been pretty quiet since then... been enjoying a PMT and period free life and tbh I'd kind of forgotten about the whole menopause thing.

Am now 46... I wondered a little while ago if menopause was kicking in... it's harder to tell as no periods to go on - but now I am in absolutely no doubt... dear god what fresh hell is this?! I've had joint/muscle aches for a while and they're bad. I'm taking supplements and they're helping a little. But the rest of it - hot flushes, freezing the next min, weepy, struggling to sleep, exhausted, anxiety through the roof, stressed, angry - it's like 9 years of PMT coming to haunt me! I can only conclude that this must be it - peri-menopause time.

I've not seen my GP yet because I'm in the middle of moving house and would rather see a new one than my existing one cos I can't stand him. I'm eating healthy and all that sort of thing - but need to get a handle on this thing. I'm all over the place. Has anyone found that reducing caffeine helps with the anxiety/mood symptoms? I'm thinking I might have to knock it on the head but I find coffee helpful in maintaining my weight loss so it's a hard one to think about giving up.

Anyway - good to find this thread because I feel like I'm going mad at the min! x

@alfagirl73 it's the sleep issues that are the worst! I'm currently trafficking melatonin in, every time I hear someone I know is going to the USA I'm begging, they do work!

Ps I'm 46, my gp said I'm spot on age wise

Hello all, can I join in? I'm 43 and for the last year I think I've been peri-menopausal. First GP said I was too young, second said it could be, but...that was the extent of her help. Anyone else finding this uncertainty really stressful? Cos if the random periods are not peri, wtf awful thing is going on? Two 7 day periods in 3 weeks is not fun :(

@ohthesea they're not much help are they sometimes? I think unless there are other symptoms then changes in cycle are probably the first sign I noticed. Found period tracker really useful. I'm now noticing my pmt happens at a totally different time. More like around ovulation (if I'm still ovulating at all!) and then I'm OK just before period. This month has been brutal and I've just come on 5 days early today... Though it might stop again!

@Mumteedum oh my life, yes, the PMT. I forgot about that. I told the kids I was going to sell them on eBay. So it's either peri menopause or we're all going nuts . Ace. :D

Having period from hell this month. Had sore boobs for over a week, intense pms symptoms and now in bad pain from period with, sorry for the tmi, really gross stringy cervical mucus. Found this article which suggests I've got high estrogen. That would explain things. Maybe I'm not actually ovulating anymore.

My little boy is only 8. Feel like ive gone from babies to being past it very quickly 😢

Good article though..
www.cemcor.ubc.ca/resources/perimenopause-time-%E2%80%9Cendogenous-ovarian-hyperstimulation%E2%80%9D

Hi All. Placemarking at the mo. Thank goidness I have found this thread. I have looked at the 66 symptoms and am so relieved! I am 50..think I have probably been peri for a year or so. Larely though its really much worse re hot flushes,anxiety,sweating. I start a new job on Tues and am worried I will pour with sweat,get dizzy and forget everything. I will read the full thread now

Good luck with your new job @Doobydoo

I can't decide if my general forgetfulness and snappiness are due to chronic tiredness (thanks, small sleep thief DC) and/ or perimenopause... but I am permanently hot and bothered and finding it really hard to lose weight. I do walk a lot and eat relatively healthily, but clearly I need to do more to make an impact.

Also 50, been peri for a few years ie hotter, night sweats, drier skin but manageable.

Post ovulation the past few months, my anxiety and brain fog has been quite extreme.

Now seem to be developing some bladder irritation/keep needing to go to the loo, but no vaginal dryness.

Just went to make GP apt online and there are precisely two appointments available for the rest of the month both with male doctors.

@thehorseandhisboy it's really hard to get an appointment at my GP surgery at the moment too! I'd like to go and have some blood tests done, but desperately needed to get DTS2 an appointment to get his physio started after breaking his arm, booked the first available (non urgent) appointment for him. It is three weeks away

I thought my increasingly dry skin (having been oily for years) was due to getting older, but it's probably the hormones too. At the same time my hair is getting greasier, probably because I'm so bloody hot all the time. It's not exactly an attractive combination...!

@rubyslippers77 that is about the same as our surgery :/ Maybe for a physio referral the gp could do a phone call with you instead to speed it up? I am currently waiting for a u/s scan to check for fibroids etc and that came through faster than the 3 weeks I had to wait to see the gp in the first place...

I called yesterday and asked for a telephone consultation about referral for a blood test. Someone should call me back today.

I would try that for physio referral, or wait until half term and call in the morning for an urgent apt that day.

Hello,

I don't know if I'm in peri or not, but if I am, it would explain my symptoms.

I'm 45 and always had pretty straightforward periods, regular around 24-26 days, bleeding lasting around 4-5 days, nothing unusual - until this month. I thought my peiod had finished just over a week ago (around day 6), had a clear day with everything as I would expect. Woke on day 7 and I was bleeding again, not heavy, but fresh, red blood when I wiped and some cramping. This lasted another day or so then seemed to have stopped. Got to day 10 and was greeted by brown spotting/discharge, sort of snot like at times. Pretty bad cramping too, worse on left side. Today is day 14 and I think there is some EWCM when I wipe though it is still tinged with pinky brown. Cramp still there though maybe eased a little. Going to GP on Friday.

@ohthesea and @thehorseandhisboy they wouldn't do a telephone consultation for the physio! I don't know if the GP wanted to see him to assess him? Or they're not doing those either because they're too stretched?! Appointment is not far off now though.

@whatsthatnow74 I hope you get some help at your appointment on Friday

Hello all. Sorry to all those in the throes of symptoms/trying to work out what's going on. Am waiting for a call from the GP to try and get some more oestrogen. Feel really adrift. The menopause consultant seemed mainly interested in trying to sell his fertility clinic to me in case we wanted to try again!

I hope your GP was helpful @RestorationInsanity?

Your menopause consultant does not sound helpful!!

Unfortunately the GP never called. I will need to get an appointment with any of the GPs there and just ask for a higher dose pill. I was wondering (severely in denial of course) whether going on HRT instead of the pill would give me a gnat's fart chance of still getting pregnant naturally. I know it won't as my ovaries are shot, but it just feels so final at 31 to have exhausted all options and also be on the pill!

I'm sorry RestorationInsanity that sounds so tough, and made so much worse by the medical professionals.

Thank you @thehorseandhisboy. Hopefully you don't all mind me being on here and moaning when I know I'm a bit of an anomaly but there aren't really any active threads for early menopause and its bloody lonely! I've only realised what random selection of shitness is menopause related when I mention new things to my mum like headaches, or achey toe and finger joints and she says "oh yes, menopause".