Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

Following with interest. I'd love to join.
I'm 44 and convinced I'm Peri, have been all over the place for a couple of years.
Merina coil- on my second one due for a change this year, so had for 10 years, I have a DS 13.
I previously thought the Menopause was something that happened to 'older' people I forget that I AM older!

I have experienced many/all symptoms but blood test last year was normal. Also the GP said I was way too young! (& didn't offer to repeat bloods with a few months gap)
No periods due to the coil.
I don't feel like myself at all, plus its come as a shock in a way, accepting that I'm approaching menopause, albeit might be 10+ years away. At least since reading up I know I'm not just going mad and falling apart.
Hugs to anyone feeling the same, or suffering symptoms.
I've recently started high dose Vit D, they've improved my mood (suffer from SAD in the winter)
am looking into soy isoflavens (sp) & sage,
supplements. I've been taking anti depressants and anti anxiety for years. Also found CBT fab but at the time was diagnosed with anxiety, could have been hormones?

Hi! It’s a difference in diagnosis if the anxiety or depression has to do with hormonal fluctuations and it’s not due psychological causes. Differential diagnosis required and the suitable form of psychotherapy.

Ginger do you think the mirena could have affected your mood ?

Ginger do you think the mirena could have affected your mood ?

Ginger do you think the mirena could have affected your mood ?

Help!! Can I join the thread please. Its all just krept up on me and I think ive had the symptons of the start of menopause for a few months but the last month ahs been horrific. Im not me any more I don't know where ive gone.I feel desperately lonely and full of disapear. The doctor was sort of useless and un sympathetic gave me anti depressants and sent me on my way and the side affects are what im suffering already and I cant take them as I suffer with migraines! Had she read my notes she would have seen this. Ive decided I need to help myself and ther is no magic want even though I wish there was. Any one using herbal remedies that you can buy over the counter that has worked for them ,ill try anything .I have all the symptoms except the night sweats .im desperate.....

You say you've had symptoms of the start of menopause but have you also had cyclical changes? If you are getting symptoms as well as changes to your periods - especially how often they are - getting longer, shorter etc, you should be offered HRT and not anti-depressants. This is totally contrary to NICE Guidelines and I would stop them if possible (sounds like you have already?). If you are under 40 or early 40's then docs should do a couple of blood tests to see whether you are in fact heading for an early or premature menopause and if so HRT should be offered. Sounds typical of an ignorant GP who is not up to date. If you are peri-menopausal and you want relief then HRT should help lift your mood - or else the CCP if you are under 50 with no risk factors ( there are a couple of gentler ones) will help prevent mood swings.

Also herbal remedies don't really work - but apparently sometimes St John's Wort can help with low mood. However oestrogen is better if you are getting depleted and still young - depending how far advanced your peri-menopause is.

Hi Bellaciao. im 49 and not had a period for a year now.the doctor who never even looked at me or offered me any test said because I wasn't getting any night sweas but 99.9 of all the other symptons I couldn't have hrt just anti depressants. I cant take them because I have migraines and wouldn't any way.She was usless to be fair. I thought id buy some black cosh I think its called and red clover to try .ive been reading tht HRT can cause cancer, liver diseas and heart problems so scared to take Hrt treatment .

I don't know what CCp stands for sorry

Sorry - it's the combined pill but you're post menopausal and pretty much past the age. If you haven't had a period for a year and you have all those other symptoms then Hrt is the first line of treatment. Go to a different doc in the practice - one you know has specialism in menopause and will prescribe hrt,and ask for HRT. Research the different types on menopause matters. website. You will find balanced information about risks and benefits. What you've read is incorrect. Benefits generally outweigh any small risks if you are under 60 and otherwise healthy. Lifestyle factors put you at greater risk of cancer ie poor diet, too much body fat, smoking, alcohol, lack of exercise. The first thing to do is to make any changes necessary to improve your health overall and then get some HRT. It actually protects your heart if started at your age and close to menopause.

Thank you.its been a great help xx

Hello,

Not sure if I am in peri, but so much of this thread chimes with some of the symptoms I’ve been having.

I can’t go on family history as my Mum had cancer and didn’t have the normal menopause experience.

I’ve just been to the doctor and came home in floods of tears and found this brilliant thread.

I’m 45, have had night sweats just didn’t realise they could be a symptom. I’m having a horrendous period after them becoming much lighter but longer. This one started light on Friday, but Tuesday evening I had blood flooding out of me (three mooncups-full & overflowing in an hour), a large clot (always get some clots but nothing significant) & feeling exhausted, weak and in pain. Yesterday was lighter but I’m still bleeding, aching, weak and exhausted.

I’m getting blood checked next week, but I was such a wreck at the doctors I’m not sure what for , have booked in for a smear too. I think the doctor thought I was too young for peri, but he acknowledged my age could be a factor.

I’m fairly active (4.3 miles a day walking on average this month), I never weigh myself, but my waist is definitely not as defined as it used to be, I eat fairly well, but could do better. Sweet things would be my downfall, I only drink one cup of black coffee a day & have two cups of black tea then drink herbal teas through the day (camomile & various pukka teas). I do drink gin & beer, not every day or excessively, very occasionally prosecco.

Will try the prunes, considering starflower oil & I take vitamin D spray when I remember & have just had my first floradix tablet.

I used to do yoga and loved it, so really need to start again.

Vertigo...who's getting it? I only have it a couple of times a month and I've had it very occasionally when younger. Feels like a big wave has crashed through my head and knocked me off balance. It only last a second but is v scary and triggers my anxiety. Does anyone else feel like you're doing okay, trying not to worry and then another random symptom happens and you worry you're dying of some terrible illness? My hypochondriac tendencies are turning into a real problem. Back to councillor for me I think...

@LuathMac sounds like my periods before I had the mirena in. Proper bloodbath most months but significantly lighter in others. Also try vitamin B and magnesium. If you're anaemic you'll need a proper dose of ferrous fumerate. Off the shelf ones like floradix won't put your levels right. You can actually get ferrous fumerate without prescription. It's a lot cheaper than £8.65!

Yes Luathmac - as Fianceechickie says - the Mirena would stop the clots and then you could take oestrogen for the night sweats - gel or patches are the best. No need to suffer menopausal symptoms.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things re general health anyway. I swear by Floradix liquid and it does work. I was very anaemic in one of my pregnancies and the tablets didn't agree with me so took Floradix. I always have a bottle handy and take it about once a week now I am getting on in age, and still taking cyclical HRT. I agree it is expensive but much more natural than tabs. Btw I have only ever used the liquid tonic - very gentle. Also make sure you get sufficient in your diet as well so that once your levels are back up you can stop the Floradix.

@Fianceechickie I had vertigo for a couple of months last summer. The doctor prescribed me some tablets but I only ever had to take one before it went away. Mostly a constant feeling that I'd just got off a boat, although I did have a few moments where I had to grab hold of something quick.

Hello and sorry if this has been covered already. I've had a look through but can't find this specifically. I have a Mirena coil, am 49 and have been experiencing mood problems and scatty behaviour which is unlike me. I went to the GP who sent me for blood tests. Nothing showing so she assumed peri or actual menopause. She prescribed Elleste solo but unfortunately I was unable to sleep on them. I already have chronic insomnia which I manage with a healthy lifestyle and Valerian but I barely slept for 4 nights. I rang the GP but busy prior to Easter she didn't get back to me. I rang a pharmacist who advised to stop them. I can't get another appt. until April 26th. I strongly suspect there will be more knowledge on here than my very young (sorry to make assumptions) GP will have. Any ideas re alternatives? Any help is very much appreciated. Although not re insomnia as I've researched it to death over the years. Many thanks.

I had the vertigo dizziness thing @Fianceechickie . I had to hold onto the sink when I was washing my face.
I think you get a whole load of bizarre symptoms and it is not until later you realise what it is.

@Shampaincharly @SoundofSilence that sounds awful...I only have it momentarily but it's sometimes quite a strong sensation. It used to be only when I was premenstrual but also happened around ovulation time this month. Glad others have experienced. This peri stuff is so scary at times.

@alimcphee not sure what elleste is? Do you mean ideas to help the mood swings and scatiness? I've always been scatty but is worse now, especially pre menstrual but all the time really. I've not felt the need to do much about it as people kind of expect it from me! I take magnesium orotate which seems to be helpful but hard to say as the symptoms are so random and transient and I've only been on it a couple of weeks. I use valerian sometimes for insomnia. How much do you take? I only find I'm sleepless when I really need sleep! (Anxiety related). I've also gone for 4 nights with little/no sleep before now.

Hello - glad to have found you all as feel like I'm going a bit mad (I guess that seems par for the course from what I've read)!

Am 45 but have been having symptoms for maybe 3 years, but getting the random cycles (mostly close together but can be 22-35 days, light, heavy - spin the wheel and see what comes up!) For the last year. And everything else - sweats, pains, emotions all over, memory probs, sooooo tired, heart palpitations, but the worst of all - anxiety.

I've always been anxious but this is ridiculous, obsessed about my health and every new symtom - I'm making myself more ill with worry but can't seem to stop. I'll have some days where I'm rational and it all seems so silly and I feel as though I've sorted it - next day (today) wake up with racing heart and head convinced something awful is wrong...

It's the unpredictability of it that gets me down.

Drs just say too young for hrt - it's the pill or antidepressants for you. But I'm not depressed, and think I'm too high in oestrogen anyway (by symptoms, too young to test also) so don't fancy extra with the pill.

Anything else more natural anyone has had success with? Living on Kalms at the moment, but still feeling a bit 'skin of the teeth' today if that makes sense...

Sorry all a bit rambling

I think maybe you should try to see a different doctor? I saw a menopause specialist ( through the nhs) who said that 45 was a very good age to start hrt ( if you are having menopausal symptoms- she gave me a list to tick which ones I had) ,as between 45-50 there are no increased risks associated with it. She said that after age 50 if I still needed it then she would have to explain the small risks to me.

Hello
Can I join?
Symptomatic since I turned 40 - very distressing start to Peri as I was blue lighted to hospital with atrial fibrillation!
Add in nausea, migraines, memory fog, weird periods (missed one last year) palpitations and aches and pains and horrific night sweats...and there you go.
Mum and sister both had hysterectomy before 35 (fibroids) so no idea when (if??) This nightmare will end 😔
Feeling low today. Woke up with headache and nausea AGAIN
Im on hrt patches which have helped the night sweats
Can't take oral hormones due to hemi.plegic migraines
Tried the mirena...I just bled for 6 months
Tried the depo...put on 2 stone and had psychotic rages
I suppose i should be grateful I have a Dr that did blood tests that showed I'm in Peri and that I've been given hrt.
Another Dr tried to give me ADs. I refused.
We need much more education on peri and meno.
But it's rubbish.
It really is.

I can relate!
It is awful but when your hormones stabilize you will feel normal again for sure!
I had a really hard time last year, I didn't know anything about peri and I was out of control.
I'm back to my old self and try to get informed and go on.
HRT is a necessity for young ages and makes a huge difference.