Peri-Menopause Support Thread

[OldEnglishSheepDog]

Hello – would anyone else be interested in an ongoing peri-menopause support thread? I would love to chat with other people going through this utterly miserable experience.

Here’s my story. I’m 38, I have one child. We had hoped for another but after two rounds of IVF we decided to be grateful for what we had. Last month, after a few symptoms started making themselves evident, I went to the doctor for a blood test which confirmed that I am now officially peri-menopausal.
I’m starting this thread because I have never felt quite so lonely and scared as I do right now. The physical symptoms of hot flushes and occasional but intense headaches are bad but there is a whole new world of anxiety, depression and existential angst which has opened up since around November. I suffer palpitations which send me into a panic. I fret about my relationship while simultaneously withdrawing from it. Yesterday, I cried at a Radio 4 programme about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have quit alcohol completely. I am eating more healthily than I ever have before and exercising regularly and yet my middle has thickened and refuses to budge no matter what I do.

I find the menopause support web pages patronising. They seem to want to paint the whole experience as a new and exciting chapter as opposed to the slow death that it seems like at the moment. So I wanted to start a support thread that acknowledges the darkest aspects of this experience and allows us to wallow a bit before providing some practical suggestions.

If I end up just screaming into the abyss on my own, that’s fine. But if anyone else wants to join in, please do.

I am sick of it all too.

• I am fatter than ever, despite going to the gym.
• I frequently want to kill anyone that annoys me
• I get sweaty in bed
• My digestive system is all over the place - period poo & hideous wind.

I just want it all to be over!

Champagne pre + probiotics can help with digestive problems. The pre is food for the bacteria.

My digestive system is awful too ChampagneCommunist, can't wait for my hormones to just plateau as it is the fluctuations that do my head in. One week I think I've cracked it and the next the same symptoms come back again - stomach issues, phantom period pain and fibroid pain are the worst two things for me at the moment. I welcome flushes as it's the only time I don't have pain. (Is that tempting fate, haha)

Can relate to all of the other things you say too - honestly wanted to strangle some old dears in John Lewis today.

Dammit ,didn't read properly and thought a PP was recommending champagne as something that might help 😀

I'm 47. Periods just over three weeks apart and energy levels noticeably down. Plus a bit of brain fog, struggling to remember words and so on.

Take Berocca plus vit D, run twice a week, down to one coffee in the morning and alcohol maybe once a week (say two glasses).

Only good thing is that I have suffered migraine type headaches all my life except when pregnant and recently they have reduced to take place only at the start of my period, and not as bad.

Not sure what else to do 😟

I am loving Bimuno nutri- biotic powder. I think it might even be helping my Rosacea which is frankly amazing!

People who get palpitations...do you get them every day?

Mummytron, I don't get them every day - only get them on days when I have flushes so assume it's when oestrogen is crashing. They don't bother me now that I know I'm not about to keel over but they're not pleasant.

47 here and have just started to suffer from insomnia and night sweats. It’s marvellous. Periods slightly closer together and lighter. The idea of years of this is miserable.

@Mummytron most days but mine are ectopic beats so just one or two quite powerful sensations. Get them loads with pms though. Maybe 12 times a day. I ended up in hospital a while ago but nothing wrong apparently

Pollyperky, thanks for the general food types to eat and avoid, although 'prunes' may be taking it too far! Yuk! Lol

I'm not the best cook and lack imagination. When it comes to making food in a certain way, I think I'm gonna need a menopause recipe book.

There's surly got to be a plus to all of this menopause, so I'm searching now to find delicious recipes/ books, but if you've got any recommendations in the meantime do share.

I don't get lots but seem to have a few a day.
What's the difference between ectopic and palpitations?

I'm 46 and been peri for about 4 ish years now. No period for 2 years and then had a random one about 5 months ago. I'm very anti hrt. Have recently been trying out supplements to deal primarily with the hot flushes that were hitting me every 30 minutes! I've been taking sage, which also has black cohosh and chasteberry in it (amongst other things). I'm 2 weeks in and I'd say the flushes have at least halved. Expensive though if I have to keep taking them! I've also ordered some magnolia rodiola to see if it's helps my anxiety/palpitations. I've made a discovery today though. Whenever I eat cadburies chocolate, which is often, i get an immediate flush. So it looks like I'm going to have to knock it on the head sadly. I honestly feel like I'll still have all these symptoms for years to come. I can hardly remember life before. I REALLY don't miss the periods though.

I had dreadful IBS and digestive disorders for a few years now. Tried many different things to sort it out.

I started taking Kefir daily and it has sorted things out like magic - bam!!! I make it myself and usually have a daily dose on muesli for breakfast. It's great in smoothies too.

Thoroughly recommend it.

Hello! I also thought Champagne was recommended 😂

I’m 44 and looking back it all started to go weird at 38. Early menopause runs in the family so when I went to the GP at 41 she was immediately on board. That and my periods had stopped for 9 mths... I tried a year of supplements, diet, exercise, CBT and I was slightly less of a wreck but still not great. I discussed HRT with my GP and went on it at 42ish. I’m pretty much back to my normal self, it is crazy what oestrogen does

Whoops, fat fingers pressed post too soon

I had crazy anxiety, I couldn’t drive anywhere; loss of libido (poor DH); hair falling out; palpitations; hot flushes (about 20 a day); insomnia. I felt like a different person.

For the anxiety I’d really recommend CBT. Whether or not you go down the HRT route. My GP also recommended starflower oil, it’s similar to Evening primrose oil.

Also for hot flushes- when I cut out alcohol they reduced a lot.

I tried kefir but too much histamine for me and I got hives again (long story but I don’t tolerate histamine in food too well)

@Fosterdog123 I've always been wary of black cohosh as I'd heard that you have to be careful or it can cause liver problems, but as with everything there seem to be studies that say it's great, and studies that say it isn't. So difficult to know what to do for the best sometimes.

Hopefully you won't have the symptoms for that long - I'm really hoping that once I hit menopause things will improve. Seems to have been the case for other women in my family who have suffered during peri but then been a lot better. Here's hoping!

@Mummytron ectopics are a type of palpitation I think. It's when your heart does an extra strong premature beat when it's missed its timing I think. Or something. They're meant to be harmless. Don't really understand it!

Anyone on here still having periods regularly ish but still convinced you're in peri? Or ladies who are now skipping periods did your other symptoms start while periods still regular? Mine are 24-30 day cycles so vary somewhat and have got more flooding and spotting before but that's it. My Nan was in meno at 39 but my mum mid 50s! If it's not peri I must have a host of other illnesses. Can't think of any other explanation for all my symptoms!!

I've had symptoms since just before I turned 30, early menopause runs in my family. I was hoping to get closer to 40 though. The last year has been horrendous with pain, anxiety, irritable, forgetful, foggy, nauseous, floods and random periods, phantom pain, weight gain and sweats. The hormonal rollercoaster is torture.

What should a GP be testing and suggesting?

Fiancee, I'm the same.

My cycle is totally irregular. I go anywhere from 20 to 60 days.

I feel like my body is gearing up to ovulate then it doesn't, so I often get 2 rounds of ovulation symptoms (pain and a weird severe PMS for 1-3 days). The week before my period actually comes I feel horrendous again. It's followed by flooding and exhaustion before get a normal few days or weeks before it happens all over again. It's debilitating at times.

@Fianceechickie, I think everyone's different and follows different patterns. First sign I had was a shortening of cycle length.

They say that when the difference in cycle length from month to month is 7 days or more you're in early perimenopause and when you go 60 days without a period you're in late perimenopause.

For more detail look here
www.menopause.org/docs/default-document-library/straw10.pdf?sfvrsn=2

I've also read that studies show final period is 5-8 years after 7 day difference, and 1.5 - 2.3 years after first 90 day gap. Because I'm obsessive I've calculated that means my final period should be between August 2018 and January 2020 - doubt if it'll be that clear cut but it's what keeps me going thinking the end is in sight!

Maybe I'm heading that way then! My mum and Nan said they didn't have much disruption to cycles they just suddenly stopped. I'm a hypochondriac. It's got worse since all this started.

Thanks for the link @ParisUSM I'll read it later when I'm not too tired! If that happens!

Well that's a good sign Fianceechickie as chances are you'll follow the same pattern. I just want control of my body and really have to accept I don't have much at the moment!

omg, that ectopic heart beat thing, that's super useful info. I reckon I've had those for like 8 yrs. I just reckoned it was my getting-older normal. Seem worse if I've had caffeine. I didn't worry about it.

Those guidelines on when cycle length means peri don't work for me b/c I've had odd periods my whole life. In spite of the ectopics I don't consider myself in peri, though. True peri sounds much more interesting than anything in my life. But thanks for the info about ectopic heartbeats.