turned 50 and HATING it - what can i do to feel better?

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Hi

I'm so fed up. Turned 50 last year and am constantly exhausted. Wake up feeling hungover (despite no alcohol). I work from home, and find I'm fighting off sleep all day long, or napping. When DC get in from school I'm too tired to do anything and often nap again then.

I have no energy or focus to do anything at all - no desire for anything. But I don't feel depressed (had severe and middling depression before and this feels different. Just a feeling of lassitude. No longer enjoying my work or any hobbies, mainly because I'm way too tired to put any effort into them. (Even a year ago I loved running, walking, painting, did extra tutoring to raise cash for us to go off for the weekend etc. Now I can't be bothered.)

Also feeling anxious a lot. Even in depression I never got anxious. Worried I never see the DC anymore, worried they're glued to screens all day (they are.) Worried I'll drop down dead, never amount to anything, DH will run off. Just general low level pointless fretting. None of it feels like me.

GP no help at all. Done bloods and said they're fine. Said this just happens during menopause.

I'm about 20lbs over weight now, hair thinning, skin sagging. I just look and feel clapped out and ready for the scrap heap.

Please can anyone help? Have you got through this? do you know of any miracle cures? Even just a bit of sympathy would help. (Pathetic, I know.)

Oh dear- there has been so much written on here and other forums about Serenity.
Basically it is a weak progesterone cream. We don't have progesterone after the menopause- it's only a hormone that is produced after ovulation. The company that makes the product likes to say it helps with symptoms that are really the result of oestrogen-deficiency. The companies who make this product (Serenity) have a vested interest in making out it works. There is no valid research to back this up.

Eliza your dr obviously belongs to the 'old school' of being anti HRT.
It's a disgrace to be honest that some women are being denied treatments that are safe and effective because of drs' own biased views.

I'm sorry and apologise in advance if I seem to be banging on about HRT all the time but all I can say is that I feel fantastic on it after 6 years. No side effects so far. My consultant is one of the best in the UK and a meno specialist so I trust them and their advice.

Not all women have to go through the symptoms afterwards - sometimes they do and sometimes they don't- and anyway, why would anyone deny themselves quality of life for 5-10 years when they may still be working or looking after elderly parents or teenagers?

You can also stay on HRT for ever- the British Menopause Society recommended late last year that there should be no cut off point if women are benefiting, understand the risks, and have no medical reasons why it is unsafe.

Sorry if it sounds like a lecture- but annoyed your dr is behind the times- they are not actually allowed to refuse your request for HRT unless you have a condition that makes it a no-no.

Cairns what sort of HRT did you try?
Patches and gels have far fewer side effects than pills- which have to be taken in larger amounts due to the digestive process.
Also the type of progestogen you use matters- many of them do make people bloated, but there are several types to choose from, so it's case of trying one that is best for you.

Hi Pinkfrocks, the first HRT I tried was patches (not sure which type as this was about a year ago). Had bad PMT type symptoms. GP advised I needed a more natural type oestrogen so I switched to a gel, oestrogel, and tablets, Norgeston. Last time, after a few months, I got very sore breasts. However, I wanted to retry HRT to see if mood, energy, sweats, etc, improved and if I tolerated just one pump of the gel better than the larger dose (2 or 3 pumps a day). I thought this would give me and GP a start point to fine tuning my treatment, if I have any problems this time around.
I am desperate to get back my energy levels and get some proper sleep!!

Think you are right to reduce the dose. I was advised to start with half a pump and see if that worked. I found 1 pump controlled daytime flushes but not night sweats, so now use between 1.5- 2 pumps but divided morning and last thing at night.

I swapped from Norethisterone tablets to bio identical Utrogestan about 9 months ago, but take them long cycle ( under supervision which means a scan every 12-18 months) so only take them every 7-8 weeks.

Hope you don't mind my resurrecting the thread OP. Did you get sorts with your symptoms? I'm exactly the same so, just wondered. Thanks

Such a helpful thread - thanks for bumping it Eliza22.
Are you still around pinkfrocks?

This is so useful.I am on HRT,tablets 1mg, with Mirena coil to help with heavy bleeding.

1 month in I can't say I've noticed a major difference, still have insomnia (but might not be as bad).I have had some irregular bleeding which only started after the Elleste solo.

If others are on HRT can you mention what type and dose.I plan to perserve for another month and then go back to the GP.

So sad to hear of many women suffering.I feel debilated at times and completely relate to the tiredness.Most of us will have to work until we are much older so it's important that women get the help they need.

All you ladies who are worn out at fifty with young children should maybe be looking after grandchildren at you age . I think of possible you should not expect to have your cake and eat it . I didn’t get to travel the world or do my own thing as was busy raising children ( three before age of 25 ) then two more when I was OLDER ( by older I mean 28 and 34 . NOT 40s👍😂

I'm 51 and have had all your symptoms on and off since I turned 50! I thought I was depressed and just feeling sorry for myself so I continued to exercise (gently) and eat healthily whilst working as a nurse doing 12 hour shifts!! I also tried several holistic therapies, natural remedies etc. None worked though a full body massage is relaxing it doesn't make you want to get up and go, just nice and relaxing hahaa.
I have bitten the bullet and gone down the HRT route. I am now on my fourth different type due to lack of supplies nationally. I've gone from combination tablets, to patches to gel and tablets now. Waiting to see how the gel and tablets work.
I also suffer from migraines so if I could just be free of those I would be happier. I have suffered from these on and off for about 10 years and tried several natural remedies and therapies and still no joy!

It's really tough, not feeling in control some days and lacking confidence and the ability to carry out tasks which you normally wouldn't think about.
I do think keeping busy helps, you just have to keep pushing, get up, washed and dressed, make yourself do your hair and make up if that's what makes you feel a bit better and get out. Don't be too hard on yourself either, if you manage to do what you need to do for the day then you're doing well. If not, just try to do it the next day or prioritise.
Anyone else using Oestrogel? What are you thoughts? Are you having a good or bad time on it ...

I am 51 but the week after I turned 50 my health changed for the worse. I developed psoriasis head to toe (perforated my ear drum too), the medication made my hair start falling out, my face looked as if I had been burnt. A year later and that's much better...but I have constant pins and needles in my toes and hands, I've put on dramatic amounts of weight and I've lost energy and can't be bothered to socialise. I wonder if this is all menopause as nothing else explains it. I was so fit and healthy before.

Can I join in?
Not had periods for a few years now and I'm 54. Dizzy spells are because of ear wax ( being sorted ) but generally I just feel so low! No energy, don't care that Christmas is looming, just wanting to burst into tears all the time. Like other posters , I'm not depressed , but I feel I'm wallowing in menopause symptoms and can't see any way forward.
I'm reluctant to try HRT. It's been talked about but I really don't want to go down this route. I'm already overweight and I look awful without making that worse.
Had tests for thyroid and iron and gluten intolerances: all fine!
My dh recently retired and his fed up with me losing things and I had a minor prang in the car which was loads of money to rectify so I feel bad about that. The brain fog is something else. Feel listless.
I hate being a woman at the moment.