turned 50 and HATING it - what can i do to feel better?

[lastlines]

Hi

I'm so fed up. Turned 50 last year and am constantly exhausted. Wake up feeling hungover (despite no alcohol). I work from home, and find I'm fighting off sleep all day long, or napping. When DC get in from school I'm too tired to do anything and often nap again then.

I have no energy or focus to do anything at all - no desire for anything. But I don't feel depressed (had severe and middling depression before and this feels different. Just a feeling of lassitude. No longer enjoying my work or any hobbies, mainly because I'm way too tired to put any effort into them. (Even a year ago I loved running, walking, painting, did extra tutoring to raise cash for us to go off for the weekend etc. Now I can't be bothered.)

Also feeling anxious a lot. Even in depression I never got anxious. Worried I never see the DC anymore, worried they're glued to screens all day (they are.) Worried I'll drop down dead, never amount to anything, DH will run off. Just general low level pointless fretting. None of it feels like me.

GP no help at all. Done bloods and said they're fine. Said this just happens during menopause.

I'm about 20lbs over weight now, hair thinning, skin sagging. I just look and feel clapped out and ready for the scrap heap.

Please can anyone help? Have you got through this? do you know of any miracle cures? Even just a bit of sympathy would help. (Pathetic, I know.)

I had a surgical menopause just over a year ago.
I've had breast cancer so was reluctant to have hrt and for a year felt tired, anxious and low although no physical symptoms.
I'm 47.
Recently I saw a lady meno specialist who recommended I have some hrt to protect me against heart disease.
I'm on liveril (sp) and an gradually starting to feel myself.
I'm inclined to be weighty so I'm watching my diet and portion size and have started doing zumba twice a week which I do come hell or high water.
It's early days but I feel much better.
I'm sure the exercise has done wonders too.
I actually have two dds at home aged 12 and 3 and work part time.
I have two grandchildren as well so life is busy, I'm sure that helps as although I'm knackered I have no choice but to keep moving.
Nice to have some people on the same boat as I have felt very isolated.
I just want my libido back now and I'll be happy!!

LOL to gluten free nutella cheesecake. That cake is sitting right on the fence between healthy and wicked.

I've been manic about getting sunshine recently. Had lunch outdoors, coffee outdoors and a proper walk every day this week. (And didn't break the Lenten wine ban as Dh was out and didn't want to drink alone) - all in all, despite stress, energy levels are getting a bit better.

Ledkr that's really interesting. The changes you made sound like they are heading in the right direction for you. A three year old! Wow. just remembering how tiring it was when my two were that age makes me want a nap!

I had a three and a six year old at year old at 47. It is very hard isn't it? I think having babies in my forties (and eight solid years of breastfeeding) has just about done me in!!

I seem to have misplaced my libido too Ledkr very careless of me and DH and I have hunted everywhere for it

I don't know whether its the high dose of antidepressants that have killed it or whether it's due to the drop of Oestrogen and the HRT doesn't seem to making and difference.

No, I can't say that hrt has improved that! I'm finding dh extremely irritating tho which I used to get with pmt.
yes it really is hard having little ones but at the same time I think it does keep me going.
She was up at 5.20 today tho which puts pay to any plans for evening exercise. I'm tucked up in bed Instead!!

Op, I feel for you, I do. Your GP sounds like a dead loss. My granny used to say "we didn't have all this when we were growing up /pregnant/child rearing/menopausal etc but the thing is, we've made huge strides in medicine that mean we don't have to feel like crap for 3 years or so, during our menopausal years. I'd say, go back to your GP or, a different one in the practice and lay it on thick.

You remind me of myself. This time last year I was running or cycling every day. No effort. Just did it cause I loved it. Then, I started to feel tired....like, bone tired. I could fall asleep (and often did) at the drop of a hat. My energy disappeared. I felt nauseated. The exercise stopped so, I gained weight. I'm trying to get back into some gentle exercise again now, but it's a massive effort (and I've exercised all my life). I've no idea what's wrong with me. Have had lots of medical tests and a scan and they we're all normal so, am assuming it's the menopause. I'm 52. I'm not myself. I have flushes and giddy "do's" though they are ok to live with. It's the feeling someone's cut my energy supply that's flooring me.

My libido's done a runner too Ledke & Muriel. Which is most unfortunate. And I should very much like it back, whoever nicked it!

Of course, it could be that I feel like a bag o' shite and too fat to take my clothes off in anything but pitch black, that's having this "unsexy" effect. Poor DH. We've only been together 10 years...we were just getting in our stride.

I know that feeling Eliza - only been with husband 10 years too, he's started muttering that he can understand why men go for younger models...but I tell him he'd miss all the sweating, the forgetting of words and the moodiness. He really would.

someone's cut my energy supply yes, that's exactly how it feels Eliza It's just so unsettling. Same with libido. Vanished. Poor DH. :(

Just to say ladies, my libido returned for a visityesterday.
Funny enough it popped in after a day at the races with dh, we had fun all day, a few drinks (quite a few) and came home to an empty house (kids at mums) and pizza!!
It made me wonder if it's life that made me go off sex rather tha the meno?
Rudely awakened at 6 by our toddler today so normal service resumed!!

Glad to know this thread has turned into such a caring sharing place!

Ledkr, I think you're onto something there. It's so much easier to feel the lurve when you've actually had fun with your DH in an environment which isn't all about the DC.

We need more fun!
I love the races. Glad you had a great time.

Hmm I'm off to the races on Easter Monday

Euphemia do let us know how you get on. I'm about ready to see my GP. I'm like a dormouse in constant need of hibernation. I went for a run yesterday and felt really buzzing when I got back but this morning, I feel like I could sleep for a week.

On the plus side.... DH is back from US tomorrow so, feeling all loving and libidinous toward him ATM. Unfortunately, he's done several time zones in the past 3 weeks so, he may just curl up on the sofa and snore. That's Life for ya!

Oh, and nice one Ledke

I've just done my first month on liveril -sp? Hrt. Ive been fine so far. I did start to bloat so cut back a bit and pushed the exercise so it seems better.
I had no bad symptoms before tbh but I'm now having some night sweats which is annoying!!
Libido is still lurking but I'm too friggin tired to use it (see other thread on ridiculously earky waking chiof)

Child

I was so pleased to find this post as op and some other posts explain exactly how I feel. I'm 51 with 13 year old ds, 2 pt jobs and elderly parents. I also have dh but he's practical rather than empathetic and if anything adds to my stress rather than helping. He doesn't mean to. that's just how it is.

When I first started getting hot flushes and irregular periods about 5 years ago I started incorporating more soya into my diet and felt that helped as my flushes have never felt unmanageable. BUT I am also totally lacking in energy, am anxious about all the things I have to do and my health, constantly having health niggles - my knee hurts or my foot hurts, frequent colds, no libido for some years, difficulty in losing weight.

Dm is 80 and now fairly frail but I've been comparing my own health to hers until a couple of years ago and feeling that old age was hitting me 20 years early.

I had considered that my 'old age' symptoms may have been menopause connected but had not realised that HRT could help as I had only connected that with resolving hot flushes and had also thought this was something to be avoided if possible.

There are a couple of quite sympathetic female gp's at my practice so I shall make myself an appointment for when I have some time off over Easter. Thank you.

apples have a look at the video I linked to which is a few threads down - the latest on HRT from the experts, minus the rumours and tabloid headlines.

www.womens-health-concern.org/help/factsheets/fs_hrtrisksbenefits.html

This is helpful up to date info on the risks (or not) of HRT.

Apples, we all feel like that from time to time. If it's any consolation, I feel atrocious today. No idea what's up with me...I just want to hibernate.

I am feeling much the same. My meno specialist is prescribing me some low dose bio identical oestrogen gel to run into my thighs. Watch this space...

HormonalHeap that's interesting, keep us posted. How long does it take to kick in and is it available on NHS?