turned 50 and HATING it - what can i do to feel better?

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Hi

I'm so fed up. Turned 50 last year and am constantly exhausted. Wake up feeling hungover (despite no alcohol). I work from home, and find I'm fighting off sleep all day long, or napping. When DC get in from school I'm too tired to do anything and often nap again then.

I have no energy or focus to do anything at all - no desire for anything. But I don't feel depressed (had severe and middling depression before and this feels different. Just a feeling of lassitude. No longer enjoying my work or any hobbies, mainly because I'm way too tired to put any effort into them. (Even a year ago I loved running, walking, painting, did extra tutoring to raise cash for us to go off for the weekend etc. Now I can't be bothered.)

Also feeling anxious a lot. Even in depression I never got anxious. Worried I never see the DC anymore, worried they're glued to screens all day (they are.) Worried I'll drop down dead, never amount to anything, DH will run off. Just general low level pointless fretting. None of it feels like me.

GP no help at all. Done bloods and said they're fine. Said this just happens during menopause.

I'm about 20lbs over weight now, hair thinning, skin sagging. I just look and feel clapped out and ready for the scrap heap.

Please can anyone help? Have you got through this? do you know of any miracle cures? Even just a bit of sympathy would help. (Pathetic, I know.)

pinkfrock, thanks so much for that! It made me suddenly cry tears of relief, which is rather telling! I have been putting off addressing HRT party due to the exhaustion and brain fog...now I see I really need to sort it out. My Grandmother and her four sisters all died of strokes, but some of them smoked, possibly all thinking about it. My Mother has had several strokes through her 70s and at 83 has vascular dementia. We also get migraine with aura which I know is linked to an increased risk of stroke. My mum has the same thryoid issue as me, and got pretty tubby in her 50s and 60s, which upped her BP and probably increased the stroke risk (she's never smoked). So stroke has always been a big worry for me. We don't have much cancer as a family, a few cases, but far more heart or stroke deaths.
A friend of mine saw a very good bio-identical hormone expert and his name has gone out of my head, maybe Chris Panay? Something like that? I'll have to ask her. She is a medical person and very good at finding the experts in any field. I know my (remote rural practice) GPs will be rubbish at this, and would like to see someone good to start with even if I have to throw an alarming amount of money at it.

Glad it was of some help.
I think you are right about your family history- strokes and heart disease etc in people aged 70+, who are lifelong smokers, overweight and with high BP are pretty much guaranteed- unless they are one of the few lucky ones!

My understanding is that it is your OWN history that counts- for example if you had a DVT in your 20s or 30s, or a recent heart attack etc.

1:2 of us will get cancer and the stats for all deaths are something like 2/3rds of us die from either CHD or cancer- but that doesn't mean healthy women avoid HRT- as you will see from the paper I linked to, women on HRT have a better outcome and fewer incidents of serious illness overall than women who don't- maybe this is because they have more check ups and take more care of their health- who knows!

I am sending you a PM re. consultants!

Just wanted to say, I started HRT 6 weeks ago. I mainly asked for it because of feeling miserable/anxious (2 things I'd never really been before). Doctor happily prescribed and said to stay on it until 50 (I'm 46), but no rush to come off.

I no longer feel anxious or miserable. I'm still a bit lazy, but really am much more motivated. Just need to remember to take them each day.

Forgot to add that my mother also has very bad osteoporosis, and that is something I am very keen to avoid.

SirVix I'll go too and report back on what doc said. I feel frustrated that I have been to the doc several times over the past four years complaining of severe fatigue and she never once suggested HRT as an option when I can now see it's most likely to be peri-menopause that has caused it. All these stories of improved energy and mood are heartening.

I spend SO MUCH time and energy each day just trying to build up enough energy to get through the day: meditation, vitamins and pills, daily walks in the sunshine etc - feels like I need two hours of prep just to live for two hours then nap for two hours. It's ridiculous. Can't remember the last time I had the energy to roll my sleeves up and crack on with a job. House is superficially clean and deep level filthy (not done under beds, behind sofas, bathroom tiles or floors etc for months) due to exhaustion. So many things just sliding because I have no motivation or energy. Will this really change with HRT?

I feel exactly the same. (Although my house isn't even superficially clean.. ). I get tiny bursts of energy, start a task, and then get so tired I leave it half done. I cleared out my parent's house after my Dad died and my Mum went into a care home. Half the stuff is still filling my attic room over 18 months later. i just can't get cracking with it. I can't even work up the enthusiasm to paint a room which badly needs it, even though that is the sort of thing I like doing as a rule.

I haven't found HRT has helped at all with mood, anxiety or energy levels although it has stopped the flushes. Maybe different ones have different effects?

I really sympathise

I'm 43 and had exactly the same symptoms you describe. I used to be quite active but within a matter of weeks I was almost bed bound with utter exhaustion, dizzy spells etc.

Thyroid checked and all ok, GP wanted to diagnose ME/CFS but I pushed for further tests and it was discovered that I was peri menopausal.

Saw a different GP who explained that a drop in Oestrogen could cause a drop in Seratonin which could in turn cause my symptoms of exhaustion (due to anxiety). She said that I was hyperventilating - it wasn't noticeable to me or anyone else - it's very subtle - but the over breathing can play havoc and cause neurological type symptoms as well as exhaustion.

She prescribed Sertraline and we gradually increased the dose. Then a few months later introduced low dose of HRT.

I really do feel do much better although it has taken a few months for everything to improve. I wouldn't say I am back to my normal self (not sure if I ever well be ) but I'm so much better compared to last year.

It was the Sertraline that has made the biggest improvement although the HRT has certainly helped with the hot flushes and insomnia.

I also take a B12 supplement and liquid iron.

Keep going OP, hope you manage to get the right treatment soon xxx

Thank you Muriel. Good to know you feel better at last.
Sounds like people feel better if they take a number of different treatments.
Also seems that people get the best benefit from the natural HRT.

I had a similar thread recently. Turned out I had vit d deficiency. If your gp is sympathetic maybe ask for the whole range of tired all the time (TATT) tests.
It's bloody horrible sleeping your life away.

ghost that's interesting. I've been pretty unwell all year and hardly been out of the house, so Vit D deficiency could be part of the problem. Though I've had TATT problems for a few years even when I used to go running three times a week.

I thought I was out and about plenty too. Then I realised that because I was always cold (untreated thyroid), I always had an extra layer on. I haven't been on thyroxine long and recently wore a tshirt, my mum remarked on seeing my arms for the first time in years. I never realised that I was always more fleece, less flesh!

I also wasn't getting much sunshine when I was in bed . Should've gotten a sun lounger!

LOL at more fleece less flesh. I always have too many layers too.

Might go out for a walk in a tee shirt this morning if I can face it (frosty out.)

Just wanted to add to chorus of HRT making me feel so much better. Improved mood, more likely to do stuff and get out. Also low in B12 - I don't absorb it well, so GP said get sublingual tablets of high dose B12 (I used to have injections every so often) and that works for me. I can't absorb it from stomach but can from under tongue.

I went and had all the TATT tests to see what it was first though.

I thought HRT helped prevent heart attacks? I am sure I read that somewhere...

... also Testosterone is prescribed to US women going through the menopause and they report very positive effects.

I am nearly 51 so definitely approaching menopause but so far I've been lucky to avoid hot flushes, exhaustion etc. However, I am so anxious all the time !! It's bloody draining. Every slight symptom I get I think is something life threatening. If I am not worried about my health I'm worried about my 2 young DC's health. Is this menopause related? I haven't had any hormone tests but I am seeing my GP next week so I might take the opportunity to discuss it with her and ask her about HRT.

I definitely started getting more anxious and panicky with perimenopause and HRT helped with that too. (Truly it is a miracle drug!).

Still get a bit more panicky than I used to but I've found that some meditation and yoga type stuff helps with that as well as exercise.

So your anxiety may be related - but if you aren't having any other symptoms then maybe relaxation or something would help?

However I'm sure someone else will come along with more advice about whether HRT might not be a bad thing anyway because of the other protection it may give some people.

I think anxiety is related. I am much more anxious. I did get horrible waves of panic and the low dose natural progesterone seems to help with that.

Thank you Scotch and SirVix. I am off to do some research.

I feel the same, its horrible but sadly I can't take HRT. If you can HRT will help the symptons. I walk every day for about an hour with my little dog and that helps, drink more water too to try and combat the hung over feeling.

Try and treat your self to a manicure, facial or blowdry - superficial but cheers me up.

I am 49 and thank goodness ok so far but one of my closest friends was like this started at 50 and she is 51 and a bit now and even though she tried HRT (didn't work) she has now had a complete turn around in her whole life and looks energy etc with a paleo(?) diet. Quite miraculous

noddy it's quite unusual for HRT not to work. It depends why your friend used it . It certainly works for hot flushes, night sweats and usually mood swings. But there are so many different types- my consultant says it can take several attempts to get the right combination of the 2 hormones .

poppy shame you can't use HRT- why is it not for you?

heart disease yes it's now been decided at last that HRT taken within 10 years of the last period protects against heart disease and reduces risk by something like 50%.

She tried several Not sure about the sweats but definitely did nothing for her mood and anxiety plus her weight increased around the middle quite rapidly. Knowing her I expect she would have tried a few She is so much better though now it is quite a big difference.