turned 50 and HATING it - what can i do to feel better?

[lastlines]

Hi

I'm so fed up. Turned 50 last year and am constantly exhausted. Wake up feeling hungover (despite no alcohol). I work from home, and find I'm fighting off sleep all day long, or napping. When DC get in from school I'm too tired to do anything and often nap again then.

I have no energy or focus to do anything at all - no desire for anything. But I don't feel depressed (had severe and middling depression before and this feels different. Just a feeling of lassitude. No longer enjoying my work or any hobbies, mainly because I'm way too tired to put any effort into them. (Even a year ago I loved running, walking, painting, did extra tutoring to raise cash for us to go off for the weekend etc. Now I can't be bothered.)

Also feeling anxious a lot. Even in depression I never got anxious. Worried I never see the DC anymore, worried they're glued to screens all day (they are.) Worried I'll drop down dead, never amount to anything, DH will run off. Just general low level pointless fretting. None of it feels like me.

GP no help at all. Done bloods and said they're fine. Said this just happens during menopause.

I'm about 20lbs over weight now, hair thinning, skin sagging. I just look and feel clapped out and ready for the scrap heap.

Please can anyone help? Have you got through this? do you know of any miracle cures? Even just a bit of sympathy would help. (Pathetic, I know.)

I'll let you know how long it takes to kick in when I get it and yes it is apparently available on nhs

It's standard NHS treatment- the person who is sometimes the hold up is the drs who tend to dish out pills.

You can also apply to your upper arms- doesn't have to be thighs.

Hello everyone,
I hope you are all ok (ish) today. I am 54, no period for over a year, and started to get even worse symptoms once the periods stopped. The post menopausal stage can go on for years apparently, which I hadn't realised. I find mood swings and depression the worst. total flatness, inability to connect with people and a loss of JOY. I just want to avoid people and be by myself, which, as an extrovert has never happened to me before. Anyone else with these feelings? I have been to see 2 naturopaths and an acupuncturist. Anyone else have recommendations for good natural routes? the knicker magnet didn't work for me!

Yes I totally get the 'lack of joy' feeling. Despite HRT I do still get this occasionally, but no where nearly as bad.

Gorgeous- is there a reason why you won't consider HRT or can't use if for medical reasons?

Have had a lot of breast cysts and therefore it's not advisable, so am keen to try other routes.

Gorgeous- I have just had a little check in the book on meno written by the gynae I see. What is says about HRT and breast lumps is that lumps are not a reason per se to avoid HRT but that HRT may make breasts denser and that may create more benign lumps that may need investigation- but that HRT doesn't turn benign lumps cancerous.

Have you thought about trying techniques like mindfulness, yoga, shiastu, acupuncture, exercising outdoors (proven to help depression and mood) and other things like these?

Ah, the loss of joy....I know it well. And I'm the same (though I could never in my life have been described as a party animal) i just want to avoid human contact, if at all possible. I know it's not normal but frankly, I'm not up to it.

Wow, I need to track back and catch up on this thread. What's a knicker magnet? gorgeous and eliza I bumped into a friend today in the supermarket. hadn't seen her in ages. She wanted to chat and we did for a long time, but I was tired after a long week at work and keen to buy milk and go home. Caught up with her in the queue and we joked about both forgetting something, then she said, :I just never feel right anymore. I never feel good. All the time, anxiety and a feeling of not quite illness.' I was saying it's our age.

Another friend who is skinny as a whippet and does eighteen things to my one has been floored by exhaustion. We were born a few days apart. Keep trying to tell her it's menopause but she's convinced it's a virus. It's just not talked about enough, what happens to us and how to sort it out. It's like the pain of labour. People just won't tell the truth. So we all end up in our little corners thinking 'what's wrong with me, what's going on?' So glad this thread is still alive.

Sorry, point of that story about my friend was, after we'd chatted for a good ten mins she thought I was snubbing her because I was knackered and said 'got to go.' She has that anxiety thing which I tried to say was probably hormonal. Interesting how resistant people are to that possibility.

Saw SIL this week, who said she'd tried every natural remedy under the sun but only HRT worked. Just a nod of respect there to the posters who patiently keep on at us not to be afraid of it and to try it.

This will be my last word on HRT in this thread at least :)
Just try it!
It's safe, it works, it's not something to be scared of.

Why shun the chance to have 10 or 20 or more good years when you could be run over by a bus any day?

Here is something to look at- by a dr.

Risks and benefits of HRT

hello everyone
Thank you for looking this up pinkfrocks - it's interesting info. Yes - I have done a mindfulness course and practise meditation, have regular acupuncture, take supplements but can be slack on the outdoor exercise, partly as I have problems in both ankles but also because I am a bit idle probably.
Eliza and lastlines, and the supermarket friend, I think we need a meno support group for people who have lost their joy and don't want to use HRT to find it.
The knicker magnet, BTW, is called ladycare and is weird, but my acupuncturist claims that it lies over an important meridian and that's why it sometimes works. it is literally a magnet which you fasten to the front of your knickers! there are whole posts about it on mumsnet, with people for and against it having arguments.

Hi Ladies
I am same age and feeling awful too. No energy, muscles and bones hurt like Hell . Hot flashes and burning at night , I'm so overweight I'm afraid of not being able to lose it this time owing to now being able to exercise (painful joints) . Mentally I'm a basket case , forgetful and not able to make discussions - I change my mind at the drop of a hat . Drives me crazy so goodness knows how mad it makes my friends and family. I lack enthusiasm for the things I once loved . I use to run a busy house , running here there and everywhere, several jobs a day. Now I struggle with a part time job.

The Doctor wouldn't give me HRT because of family cancer history - but I'm tempted to get a patch to end this madness.

okay- what's the family history of cancer- assume you mean breast cancer as no other history is relevant.

Who, when, and what age?

I posted some info on this on for another poster a couple of days back because some drs don't really know what counts as high risk.

How have they assessed yours?

Hi, the whole thing is a hideous joke to ones emotional and physical state ! I hear ya, night sweats .........ooooooh one of my favs , leading to waking up at 3am and let's invite the others to the hormonal gathering shall we , ANXIETY - well isn't that just peachy, can't step outside the door , good god " not on my own " surely ??? , food intolerances - that's fun " I know let's go out to eat " ......silly me " I can't eat anything , it all makes me bloat up " , so I will eat nothing YET put on weight " HOW MAGIC IS THAT " .........and my mind thinks I should be ok with that ..........enter anxiety !

Seriously though , exercise does help , mentally and physically , I take lots of natural vits and I use Wellsprings cream . Some days NOTHING is going to stop the anxiety and the panic and those days I just have to push through it or stick movies on ALL DAY !

Some good vits are , magnesium , flaxseed oil, vit B's , zinc, vit D, calcium, have a google .

Hey did you ever watch " Sex in the City " the movie , when Samantha travels with all her " stuff " to prolong this " situation " ........well now I get it , I understand her plight, iv googled the book she reads in the movie and I'm beginning to feel " it may help " and I will look into " natural HRT " , unfortunately I don't have a lot of faith in my doctors , I never feel " they get me , seem to look at me like I'm crazy , making it up , tutting at me and telling me " yes I understand " when they are about 24 years old " the look on my face says " no you don't .............oh but you will at some point sugar " !!!!

Honestly though , try wellsprings cream and get out walking , borrow a friends dog , actually take the friend, walk & talk , walk & not talk but just get out there when you feel you want to sleep ??

Hey Gorgeousone , I would join the "HRT free zone " group ??

I'm trying everything BUT that , I feel there has to be a natural remedy , Muma Nature is to smart not to give us balance ! ??

Actually 'mother nature' is alive and well in HRT- it's made from yams.

The reason why we might need help is that our bodies have not yet evolved to live beyond the 50-odd years that are necessary for us to reproduce the species. Living for 30-40 years in an oestrogen-deficient state is rather new! It's not that long ago that a woman's life span was around 45, although some women did live longer.

The majority of diseases which affect women in old age- osteoporosis and heart disease- are linked to lack of oestrogen. Not to mention weak pelvic floors, joint pain and possibly Alzheimers.

Give me natural HRT any day- quality of life matters.

Just read the thread and popping in to join the 'vague anxiety' and 'loss of joy ' club. I go to work, ferry DD to uni open days, occasionally ride bikes. But the pleasure in life seems to have drained away. I feel like I've got maybe 15 fully active years )I'm 55) and I don't want to waste them feeling worried about everything. It really doesn't feel bad enough to visit a GP - I'm a doctor's daughter with in-built reluctance to 'make a fuss' - but maybe I should?? I'm afraid they'll either tell me not to make a fuss or prescribe anti-depressants which is not what I want.

I am using " Wellsprings Serenity " cream and it does help actually , some days I'm beyond that though and a " stun gun " might be a better option lol !

HRT is suitable for loss of 'joy' and moods- you don't have to have purely physical symptoms.

ADs are not the answer- it's loss of oestrogen that is the problem.

I'm a bit shocked at your cut off point of 70 for an active life!
My mum is 88 and spent the weekend digging plants out of her borders.

Awww Cooroo , you have many years left to be active , it's just how you're feeling now , I understand that , it will get better , go to the Docs or research some help , natural help perhaps ! I feel like I " literally FIGHT " this feeling everyday , it's awful , scary , anxious , lonely too , but I just can't or won't let it beat me .........
Iv downloaded some great apps on my phone , hypnosis apps for all sorts of " issues " that I have .....lol ! I put them on when I go to bed and actually feel more positive when I wake up , maybe give it a try ? You never know ??

Trying not to tempt fate! Mum was pretty active well into her 80s but I may not be mountain biking and camping quite that long.

My sister is 54 and really struggling with mood swings, tearfulness, sweats, joint pain, decreased energy... All the usual suspects, as it were. She visited her GP recently who advised that "taking HRT just postpones the inevitable...the symptoms you have now will return when you cease to use hrt and may be increased". She's now on AD's

Your symptoms just mirror mine. It really is awful!!
My doctor seems to have been better than most and quite sympathetic. Ive tried a few different types of HRT now. i stopped taking the HRT completely towards the end of last year and, to be honest, my symptoms have slowly got worse and worse to the point that I am barely able to function without a few naps a day, even then I'm exhausted!
The reason I stopped taking the HRT was because I had sore breasts and felt a little bit bloated. I should have gone back to the doctor to have my medication changed. It's a bit like trying the pill, you need to find one that suits your body.
Yesterday I decided to start taking the HRT I had in my bedside drawer, just to see if it did make any difference. If i feel better within myself, but have the same side effects, then I'm going back to my GP. I just don't have a life at all. I have no energy for work, friends, exercise, etc... I never knew going through the menopause would be as bad as this. I was a strong, confident woman with a senior management job before this hit me.

Anyone else have good experiences with Wellsprings Serenity? I've just googled it. It's not expensive so might try it.