Premature Menopause Support Group...anyone ?

[erilou38]

Hi there. I'm just thinking about setting up a little group for us poor ladies going through premature menopause. My doctor tells me that menopause is considered premature if the woman is under age 40. I'm 38 and believe i have been in menopause since i was about 35. I had hormone blood tests a year ago that showed i was borderline menopausal...only age 37, i could hardly believe it!! Anyway i now have lots of symptoms: irregular periods, periods are lighter a nd shorter. Hot flushes at night in bed, heart palpitations, insomnia, vaginal dryness, feeling tired all the time, hair loss and hair is dry and brittle, anxiety and depression. Oh, and i almost forgot, forgetfulness as well!! I find this whole premature meno very distressing and alone very isolating. Women that i know who are around my age don't understand as they are not going through it. None of my friends are experiencing it yet so i can't talk to them. I feel very alone a nd frustrated and get tearful and angry, (menopausal moods swings to blame i would think!) I'm sure some of you ladies must feel the same. Apparently prem meno happens to one in every hundred women so we are in the minority. Just thought it might be helpful if we could chat and share our thoughts and experiences. Erilou x

Just reading this brings back memories of going to the GP from when I was 38 and asking to be tested then being told you are too young.

I was nearly 42 when I went again to the GP and refused to move until I had been tested. Had a phone call the next day from one of the HCPs at the surgery who told me "Yes, you are menopausal" and told me to arrange to see GP. I think it was the very snippy way she said it but I was devastated. I wasn't planning more DC but it felt so sad to know that was it.

However, have been taking HRT for acouple of years now and it has helped me so much. I hope you find support during this time. It is so silly us women go through so much for the sake of these bloody hormones!

I really hope HRT helps me as i can't go on with these awful symptoms for much longer. Iv'e been struggling with them for about 2 years now but as i was desperately trying to have ababy i just ignored them. They have definately got much worse recently though. When i spoke to the nurse to ask for my results yesterday she was very short with me, actually quite abrubt. She said, "Your hormone levels are not right at all, your FSH is 20 which isn't at all good. You don't have polycystic ovaries, you are menopausal and Clomid won't help you". That was it!! I came off the phone and cried my eyes out all day long! Bloody hormones, why do us women have to suffer so. Why do we have to have a menopause!

erilou, what a horrible way to be told. I suppose (being generous) the HCPs do deal with this every day but I would hope, at least some, would try to be slightly gentler when telling you the news.

I am so sorry about your news but you now know what you are dealing with. I hope you are able to find an HRT which suits you and it gives you some relief.

Again, I am sorry you have had such sad news .

I'd like to join if I can.

A bit different history than most of you as I had early meno diagnosed at 18 years old whole other thread on how that panned out during my late teens and early twenties

Met a brilliant man and we had IVF with egg donation and had my dd at 28 years old. Now 30 and the symptoms are back with a vengeance, having lay a little dormant whilst after pregnancy and breastfeeding (still feeding 2,3 yo but only once a day) Coincidently, pregnancy and upto dd being 14 months old, my body/hormones seemed, for the first time, 'normal'.

FSH is through the roof. I don't have periods, anxiety is getting worse as are hot flushes, night sweats and sleep irritability. Loss of libido too. GP is recommending a mild anti depressant (fluxotine I think). IVF consultant recommends HRT femmi something - me? I want it all to go away so I'm taking the "it's not bad enough to do anything yet" approach I suppose I'd prefer not to medicate if I can.

erilou sorry to hear FSH result / clomid plan. There are many options you know. Egg donation was a great one for us - dd is my world. It'll only ever be her as we will never go through it again. Definitely talk through with Doctor.

Fadbook...you were just 18, that's awful. What a terrible time you must have had. I know you are only 30 but wouldn't you like to try some medication ? Maybe not HRT quite yet as i know there are risks associated with it, but then i guess there are risks with a lot of medicines. Fluoxetine may well help you. I have taken this on and off for years, first started it when i was age 24 as i has post-natal depression. It's very effective for anxiety, panic attacks and irritability. I always found that it helped me. Wow, how lovely that you were able to have your little daughter through egg donation. I'm so happy for you that you got to be a mum after the heartbreak of premature menopause. I have 3 children already so i can't afford it but i have been thinking about egg donation recently. My husband is 12 years younger than me and has no children of his own so i think that's why i'm so distraught at not being able to have more kids. Perhaps if i win the Lotto i can afford to have egg donation! Congratulations on having your little girl and i hope you can get sorted and start to feel better soon x

It's strange as I always get the reaction like you've given about being so young. At the time of course it was shit but I just got on with it. I didn't self destruct a little (partying, drink, minor drugs) but all in all worked through it.

ED was mentioned very early on. It was discussed in detail. It was only when I met DP and our wider family were having babies that we both wanted to give it a shot. We knew the egg donor and will always be grateful.

Like you say, it's expensive, but you can save up, take a loan, just give yourself one go perhaps? Have you any female relatives that might be able to help you out? We were inundated with many offers of 'eggs' not sure how serious some people were but they were very supportive.

Room for a little one on here?

I am 38 and waiting for FSH results after a few months of no periods and vaginal dryness and weight gain and no libido.... My hair is also falling out like a bugger but I had not connected it until I saw your posts

Slightly different back story in that I had chemo 7 years ago and was advised of EM risk. At the time I just though "fuck it" because I couldn't imagine still being alive at 40! I am well now and have met a wonderful man, and we have no kids.... I know I should be grateful to still be here but I do have the weeps occasionally! (Can I blame that on hormones?!)

Anyway, had great gynae appointment last week and she arranged FSH, smear and ovarian scan on the same day, so at least I will find out soon. Get results in a couple of days. Thanks for setting up this thread - great timing!!

Oh bless you Younggirl, you have been through so much, i'm so glad that you are well now and also have a wonderful man. Yes our hormones can wreak havoc and definately are to blame for the tears, i am often crying for no apparent reason! It's great that your doctor has arranged for you to have your tests and all on the same day. Your doctor sounds really helpful. I really do hope you get good news with your test rtesults, let us know how you get on.

Fadbook, i am seriously starting to consider egg donation now although god knows how i will be able to finance it! I guess i could try and save up for a few years. My husband is still young at 26 so age won't be an issue for him, he wouldn't be an old dad. I guess it won't matter either if i'm in my early 40s perhaps. My oldest friend offered me one of her eggs bless her, but she is also 38 and she is starting to think that she might now be in perimenopause too. I don't have any young female relatives, only cousins that are older than me so that wouldn't be any good. My husband has a young couple in their 20s who he is friends with, i have met them too and they seem nice people. They have just found out recently that they can have no children as he has no sperm at all. She is devastated, as having kids is all she has ever wanted. There is nothing wrong with her fertility so it must be heartbreaking for her. I have jokingly said to my husband a couple of times that maybe we could do a 'swap'. I don't mean swinging or wife-swapping LOL!! What i mean is perhaps i could use one of her eggs and she have my husband's sperm. That way we would all be able to have a child. Perhaps a bit weird though. I can't exactly approach them about it, especially as they are still feeling upset and raw at the moment with their infertility diagnosis. I have decided to phone a private infertility clinic next week and ask for a consultation, it's £190 i think. I would like a second opinion on my FSH levels. I will also mention egg donation.

How is everyone ? xx

Bloody hot flushes are annoying me as well as lack of sleep. Last night was the first in so many weeks, that I slept all night. All over Christmas, I wake up or get woken by DD and cannot get back to sleep. Normally night sweats, and tossing / turning for around 1 to 3 hours.

need to decide what to do about medication. Burying head in sand is such a better solution ATM

How are you EriLou ?

Can an oldie join you please?
I'm 46 and have just had my ovaries out (two days ago) as I have brca2 the cancer gene. I had breast cancer 20 yrs ago.
So as i recover, I await the onset of meno symptoms.
I was fully regular and showing no signs before and has a baby 2 yes ago.
I'm probs my going to start hrt as soon as I get it prescribed, have any if you had that?
Anyway, in clearly not as young as you guys but if you don't mind I'd like to join you.

Eri- my dh is 12 yrs younger too (high five) so I do get his you feel. Our dd was a total fluke so I feel very lucky.

I am with you all 39. Lots of symptoms. I hate the skin crawling, anxiety and internal tremors.
However with a good diet,supplements,exercise and a super acupuncturist I am improving. However I feel too young for this. I guess it might take years to be fully menapausal. Dr didn't pick up on it. I though I was going mad. They tested me for MS very scary. Perimenapausal is good compared to an ms diagnoses.

I've just been told today I'm going through early menopause I'm 34

I've had pcos for years since last September my periods became erratic, hot flushes/ night sweats kicked in. Sex became painful and I was bloated a lot.

Been prescribed HRT feel very angry at my body at the min. I have one dd 11 but we had been trying for another with no success.

I'm sorry to hear that spottymoo.

So sorry to hear that Spottymoo, my heart goes out to you. Such a nasty shock for you. I'm 38 and i believe i started my meno around age 34/35. I'm in a very similar situation to you as iv'e also been trying to conceive, for 19 months. I haven't began HRT yet but am thinking of it soon as my meno symptoms are getting worse, mostly night sweats and mood swings. Can i ask which HRT you have been prescribed ? Iv'e been told/heard that HRT is a real godsend and within 3 months of taking it many women feel wonderful! Also told it helps you stay more youthful looking for longer too as the estrogen in the HRT is good for the skin. It's just such a real shame that you hadn't completed your family. I feel exactly the same, very down and depressed and angry at my body for failing so early x

Can I join too please?
My periods are every 3 months at their most frequent. One upside of that is every month without fail I'd get hormonal headaches so now I get a few months respite.
I went to my GP in October and he sent me for a blood test which came back indicating I may be perimenopausal. I've got to have another test done when I next have a period to confirm those results.
Annoyingly when I went to my previous GP with similar symptoms though my periods were a little more frequent he didn't send me to get tested on the 3rd day of my period I can't help feeling that if he had then I'd have had it diagnosed by now and would be feeling better hopefully!
Am only 38 and my DM had her youngest child when she was 40 so I didn't think I'd be going through this so young

to you all, hoping you're all having a good day.

Certainly in need of support here.

As I said on the other menopause thread, my periods are still monthlyish, but have faded down to maybe 4 days of hardly spotting this last month from previously a week where half was quite heavy a year or so ago. And this last month I've had hot flashes, insomnia, painful breasts, and... stress incontinence which I'd never had before unless very heavily pregnant. Looking over the last year, I've also had an increase in headaches, mood swings have gotten worse, an increased joint pain, and my libido has crashed off a cliff much to my frustration (not only the libido, but finding getting satisfied far harder and even then not as good). I feel like a checklist of all things perimenopausal. I'm seeing a doctor later this month hoping to get somewhere because I feel like I'm falling apart. And at 28, I really don't have anyone else in my social circle that I can talk to about this nor do I have family I could talk to about it.

I started on prempak-c last night.
So will have to see how I get on with them.
I'm still having monthly cycles spot a couple times between I use to be regular 29 days now it's anything up to 42 days and for 2 weeks of the month I'm pretty useless. Totally exhausted painful back and thighs.

The night swears are the worse thing as the moment and my sleep is do disturbed so I feel totally exhausted.

I've told my best friend but I'm glad I found this thread on here as at the moment lots of my friends are announcing pregnancy as I'm now totally the other side and all that's over with which Is hard to except.

Spottymoo - your meno symptoms sound so like mine. I always used to have very regular 28 day cycles until around 2 years ago. Now they range from anywhere between 30 and 42 days. Also i have lighter bleeding than before and period only really lasts 2 days if that. I also feel exhausted all the time and i feel really moody and tearful for 2 weeks every month. I seem to have the night sweats the worst a few nights before my period starts. It's awful when friends and people you know are getting pregnant. I can't even look at a baby these days without getting upset.

erilou- can I ask the reason why you havn't started HRT yet? Understand if you don't wish to comment x

I was actually advised to start HRT in 2012, the November. I was 37 then. Thing is, i have been trying for a baby for the past 19 months so that's why i haven't started HRT. I guess i'm living in denial really, i hate the idea of menopause and can't believe it's happening. I so badly wanted another child. I'm under an NHS infertility clinic at the moment. I think because of my age, most doctors iv'e seen don't seem to think i'm in perimeno or premature menopause because my day 3 FSH levels keep going up and down. The doctor that first diagnosed me changed her mind a month later when i had a second blood test. She told me i wasn't in menopause, i was more likely to be suffering from stress!! So it has been very confusing for me! I know i'm in meno though as i have lots of symptoms and my periods are winding down. The consultant at the clinic has just given me Clomid, a fertility drug to start with my next period. Don't see how it will work though as i'm in menopause. Do you know what your FSH level was ? Mine was 20 which is considered menopausal. Have you not thought of fertility treatment ? You know, you are still young, under 35, you may stand a chance of getting pregnant x

I think it was 22 It was abit of a blur at the doctors.

We'd talked about fertility treatment and although I'm really desperate for another we tried everything else we could before. I have quite high pcos as well and dh has a low count as well so between us it's a very low chance. My dd was from my first marriage.

Let's hope the clomid surprises you and works wonders