Premature Menopause Support Group...anyone ?

[erilou38]

Hi there. I'm just thinking about setting up a little group for us poor ladies going through premature menopause. My doctor tells me that menopause is considered premature if the woman is under age 40. I'm 38 and believe i have been in menopause since i was about 35. I had hormone blood tests a year ago that showed i was borderline menopausal...only age 37, i could hardly believe it!! Anyway i now have lots of symptoms: irregular periods, periods are lighter a nd shorter. Hot flushes at night in bed, heart palpitations, insomnia, vaginal dryness, feeling tired all the time, hair loss and hair is dry and brittle, anxiety and depression. Oh, and i almost forgot, forgetfulness as well!! I find this whole premature meno very distressing and alone very isolating. Women that i know who are around my age don't understand as they are not going through it. None of my friends are experiencing it yet so i can't talk to them. I feel very alone a nd frustrated and get tearful and angry, (menopausal moods swings to blame i would think!) I'm sure some of you ladies must feel the same. Apparently prem meno happens to one in every hundred women so we are in the minority. Just thought it might be helpful if we could chat and share our thoughts and experiences. Erilou x

Perimenopause symptoms might be easier to deal with if I wasn't spending my day with a toddler.

Toddler tantrums appear to be very similar to my PMT/ perimenopause rages.

My ibs was shockingly bad. I thought I was going to pass out for a bit and then spent the next 24h worrying about getting caught short!

I am asking Santa for a new body!

Oh bless you. I actually had to take Imodium the other week to stop it. I take Buscopan for the cramps, they are quite good. Have you tried them ?

I did once I could leave the loo. This attack came on do suddenly though - school run I was fine, 3.50 I was in the bathroom feeling like I was dying!

Oh you poor thing. I definately think our IBS being so bad is due to our raging hormones. My IBS always used to flare up around period time back in the day so it proves it's hormone related.

How old is your toddler ? I have 3, my youngest is 7. It's so exhausting looking after young children and feeling like this isn't it. I always thought women hit menopause when their kids were in their late teens, 20s. It would be easier to cope with then.

Ds is 4.5yo (in reception) and dd is 2.5yo.
I would dearly love to go through menopause with teenage children - at least they'd leave me alone!

My ibs was hormonal too. I had it under pretty good control but then it changed from ibs-d to ibs-c and now I'm starting from scratch. The change coincides with the start of my peri symptoms.

I second the fact that older teenagers are a breeze compared to younger children, Sudden.

My eldest is at college, and is as easy as pie most of the time, (she's never really done the stroppy teenage phase tbh).

My youngest is almost 4, and when she was between about 18 months to 3 years old I sometimes felt like I was a step away from having a nervous breakdown - I emphathise with you, sudden.

My anxiety was so bad then, that getting the DCs to school was a mammoth task. With all the arguing, whining and crying, making the tea felt like the most stressful thing in the world.

My DH used to come in from work and I could barely look at him, I suppose I resented the fact that he didn't have to be in the thick of all the chaos, and could get in the car by himself without having to wait for everyone to sit down sensibly so that they could trap themselves in/be strapped in....

Our relationship definitely took a beating. At times, he said that I used to look at him like I hated him when he walked in the door, and that he dreaded coming home as he didn't know what mood I'd be in, which I can understand; but what he didn't know was that for 3/4 hours, not yelling and screaming at the kids had used up every ounce of energy and patience, and by the time he came in all I wanted to do was walk out the door/go to bed.

Even though my symptoms haven't got easier, I feel so much calmer now than this time last year, now that as my youngest ones are much more independent. It will get much easier in a relatively short space of time.

If your DD, isn't already, Sudden you're youngest will be entitled to free playgroup sessions, soon. I suppose if you work full time this won't be of any benefit apart from financially, but otherwise it'll give you some time apart from your DCs, which really makes a difference.

Are all you ladies working? Do you have supportive DCs?

There's no way I could hold down a stressful job at the moment, or even a full-time non-stressful job. I'm taking my hat off to any of you who do! I work part time doing something completely non-stressful that I love.

My DH is very supportive, generally, but during the really awful time I described, I thought otherwise.

Anyway, hope you all have a better day today ladies, and sorry for the long post - I've actually edited some out, it was even longer than this .

I meant supportive Dps, not DCs!

Misfit - dd isn't eligible until September 2014 for preschool. But I am thinking of sending her to a local group 2x a week which is pretty cheap. She's really clingy so this will kill or cure!

Dh is pretty good really, but he is/ will be totally useless at understanding the emotional aspects of menopause/ end of youth stuff.

Oh the clinginess! I still have to unpeel my DD each morning, she doesn't cry, she just loves cuddles and doesn't want to let go. It's really hot in there, and each morning I'm sweating, trying to get her off me feeling like I'm going to pass out!

September 2014 probably feels like a lifetime away, I bet.

Ooh a thread for me! Please can I join!

I'm 39 and started meno symptoms at 29. The first time I went to the docs I was memorably told "You're too young for early menopause!"

I had a few blood tests through my early 30's but they weren't conclusive. Finally got a conclusive FSH test on my 36th birthday. FSH was 32. That's a great way to kickstart a mid life crisis!

Anyway I am now post-menopausal and still the right side of 40, just.

I'm on BCP as a form of HRT, and doc says he'll keep me on it until mid-50s. I'm much happier since I went on the pill, although it hasn't done away with all the symptoms.

And I agree it is bloody hard with little ones. My DD is now 12, so she's spent a fair chunk of her childhood with me as a lone parent being a grumpy sod. I hope I haven't scarred her too much. I do think my timing was bang on though, as I had my last period this time last year, and I think she's about to start any day, so at least our crazy hormones didn't overlap. That would have been explosive!

I'm so sorry for all of you going through this. I was there about 5 years ago, frantically researching everything I could.

I wonder if it's the chemicals they put in the food we eat causing women to have early menopause. I have read several articles saying how all this stuff they put in packaging for food, make-up, creams etc could well be causing it. Also read artilcles about many young men these days being infertile. I think there is definately something not right going on, too many harmful substances around. I'm sure years ago there were the odd few women who had menopause under age 40, but for the vast majority it didn't start until well into the 40s and for some mid to late 50s. It does worry me as i think we are becoming old before our time. Does a prem meno mean we will die when we are in our 60s. It seems ridiculous that women in their late 20s, early 30s are hurtling into menopause. I always thought a women in her 30s was meant to me in the prime of her life!!

I just feel like i'm falling apart!! My hair is falling out loads this last few weeks, i'm getting very warm in bed at night, vagina is dry and sex uncomfortable. Having palpitations, terrible anxiety, crying often and generally feeling a fucked up mess. Becoming really quite depressed as i just feel so old and it makes this whole meno thing worse because my husband is just 26! I have this gorgeous young man whom i married last year, only got together in 2011 and now this hits me!!! I wouldn't have minded if i had been with him for 10 years. It's just not attractive and we have been trying for a baby since July last year. I feel like an infertile, old failure of a woman. Think maybe i need anti-depressants or some counselling as i am not coping at all well with this. I feel overwhelmed.

How is everyone ? xx

Hi Erilou! :)

I've had another ibs attack over the weekend. No idea what triggered it but felt awful for 48h. Sure hormones are playing a part!

I've also had a headache all day which is refusing to shift.

Is anyone finding themselves getting more weepy?
I almost cried at Chris, from show me show me, singing raindrops keep falling on my head today!

Oh bless you! I cry at almost anything on the TV these days from films to nature programmes! I'm definately more weepy. always feel as if my period is about to start with PMT-style mood swings and tears. My IBS has been awful too the past few days and the heart palpitations have been horrendous at nightime. Hair is a complete mess, dry and frizzy but kind of greasy too, can;t do nothing with it. Can't stand it much more. Going to book a doctor appointment after Xmas and take her up on her offer of HRT.

Is anyone having really bad problems with their hair ? Since i started with menopause my hair falls out loads and is thinner. Also it dry and brittle, breaks easily and has no shine to it. It just hangs limply. I had to have my lovely long hair cut off 2 years ago as it was in such bad condition. It's in a short bob now but the cindition is just as bad.

Mine looks shit, too. It's just like you describe. Luckily for me I had very thick hair to begin with, though. I try to wash it less now to minimise the hair loss, but if it keeps falling out at this rate I'm going to need a weave before much longer .

I only wash my hair now twice a week, sounds a bit disgusting but it just doesn't seem to have any natural oils in it so it never gets greasy. Really i think i could get away with not washing it for about a fortnight. Loads came out when i washed this morning and all day i have seen it dropping onto my back and even in my dinner earlier! Yuk! Im really worried i may be getting Alopecia because of Meno. You wouldn't think that menopause could affect your hair. Although, with each of my pregnancies my hair was gorgeous, thick, healthy and shiny. Obviously that was because my body was bursting with estrogen. So i guess it stands to reason that hormones are at play now, just a lack of them this time. I wonder if HRT would remedy this. I just want my lovely hair back. When i mentioned my hair loss to my doctor he smiled and nodded saying this was a common meno symptom. So depressing.

Aaaaaaaaargh! Restless legs!

Hair is ok here, I use a SLS free shampoo which is less drying. Maybe that'd help?

I don't suffer restless legs (yet), about the only meno symptom i'm not having! Suddengeek, if you don't mind me asking, which brand of shampoo do you use ?

Dr organic ones from holland and barratt
Rainforest one from bodyshop
Naked range from boots

I'm not fussy as long as there's no SLS which dries my skin out and makes me itch! (even when I was not possible menopausal!)

Restless legs? Really? I have that but didn't know that was anything to do with the menopause.

Taking note of the shampoo, too, thanks Sudden

Mine is definitely hormone based. I never got it until I got PG. Then I had it until ds was born, it reappeared when pg with dd and went again. Now it's back and I'm definitely not pg. thank goodness

I still don't know if I'm actually menopausal. I am definitely not right though Bloods are being taken tomorrow. Actually that reminds me, it's a fasting test so I better check what the rules are...