Older mums ??? 40 plus???

[Laurang63]

Hi, I'm 41whispers quietly and have 3 kids, dd18 ds16 and an 8 month old. Would love to hear from any other older mothers.

emmatom, I was born in dec 1964! What date may I ask?

the 28th, lonelymum. Are we twins?!!!

Regretably no . It was when you said "1964 just" that I got excited as my birthday is the 31st. I was due the 27th though. Where were you born? I was born in London - anywhere near there?

I was born in Lydney in Gloucestershire. Live in Worcester now after a lifetime travelling around with work, both here and abroad.

I like it here though, it feels like home now.

Do you or does anyone else still suffer from flippin' spots every month? Thought I'd have grown out of that by now, but 1 or 2 still pop up on my chin every month!!

Not every month, but I do still get the odd one. I remember getting quite a few regularly when I was 29 and about to get married. I didn't want to be spotty on my wedding day so I went to the GP and got put on some medication (I forget what) which eradicated them. I remember it was something you could not take for a long time (perhaps a steroid?) but the GP obliged me for my wedding day. Might it be worth asking?

Thankfully, don't think it's bad enough for Doc's intervention, but thanks for the suggestion.

I was just thinking because the older signs now show, laughter lines etc, I thought it only fair the younger ones should go!!!

Do you work?

Agree. Seems unfair to be afflicted with a "teenage" problem still.

No, I don't work right now, but I will be gong back to work in the next year or so, I expect. How about you?

had to retire on medical grounds from a career I loved when my eldest was born. I did find it sooo very hard to leave him for the couple of months that I did though, so it was a blessing in disguise (apart from the health problem I suppose).

Have loved being at home with my two. I feel very lucky, some ladies don't have the choice (even though mine was made for me). And some obviously enjoy working of course, which is great.

Do you have a good network of friends local to you?

Sorry to hear about your health problems, even if it has meant you can spend time with your children.

No, I have absolutely no support near me as we only moved here 2 months ago . I am quite near to where you were born BTW (Thornbury) I can't quite place Lydney yet, but I know it is nearish. With your children at school, you must have a good network around you?

Oh Lonelymum. Is that the reason for your name?

It's difficult isn't it, not knowing anyone.

When I had my first child I knew no-one in this village, only moved here a month previously and, of course, all my friends were at work, some distance away.

Had my son and that was it. No-one to drop by, nothing. The HV told me of a mother and baby clinic which I went to and met a couple of mums for the occasional coffee. I then found there was a toddler group in our village hall and it's from there I made a circle of friends.

We've now all progressed to the school gates. Some 'friends' have drifted away for various reasons, like work and also because, to be honest, their kids were pains in the butt, but it's amazing what you'll put up with when you're trying to make contacts!!

I've now got 4 close good friends nearby and a handful of acquaintances who I'll chat to at the school gates.

Lydney is not far from Chepstow, the Severn Bridge, Bristol all that way. Isn't that where Thornbury is, Bristol way? I was in Thornbury hospital as a teenager. Oh, the memories are flooding back.

If you are in Thornbury, Bristol, you're not a million miles from me in Worcester, where I live now. Probably 45 mins down the M5.

Hi, Can I join in?
I also don't have many friends around here. (I'm in South Yorkshire) I'm still on extended maternity leave at the moment but I've decided not to return to my job. Maybe I'll regret it, not just because of the money but because I know I'll end up feeling pretty lonely and bored, but I can't bear to leave my dd.

my hv has told me of a support group nearby, like a mother and toddlers but I havent had the guts to go yet (I'm pretty shy)

Can I join in? I'm 41 and have a dd nearly 4, ds of 2 and new ds of 7 months.

Laurang, that's exactly how I felt. When I did return to work for a couple of months, when my first was only a few months old, I suffered terrible seperation anxiety.

My work, which was my life, just didn;t mean anything anymore. I used to see mums with their kids in my lunch hour and feel jealous and yearn to get back to my own little one!

I have not regretted an instance of being at home. Time goes so quick, and you;ll never get another chance with them at the young stage. You know that from your older kids don;t you.

I'm also never bored. You can make friends through local groups and I'm sure you'll meet someone who hits your funny button.

Hi mog! Born in 63?

Yep. Turning 40 was pretty traumatic as I don't feel it.

hi Mog and Laurang, about being shy, don't be.

Remember we have the advantage of age. Just give the group a try. There's bound to be at least one other mum who will say hello.

but all the new mums around here are SO young!

Hello. I'm 42, born December '62. Have two boys of 6 and 3. I actually feel the most confident I have ever felt now, well probably since having my kids really.

God, I would so love to be 21 again, but with what I know now

Emmatom, I was Lonelymum before we moved here, but I am even Loneliermum now! I used to live in a village and had quite a reasonable support group made up of mums I met at school and playgroup, but no real friends, hence name. Also, dh works long hours, so that added to the loneliness.

I suppose I will get back to the chatting at the school gates thing again with time.

Yes Thornbury is just the other side of the Severn Bridge. I have a friend in Evesham who I am hoping to be able to visit from time to time, so I am pleased to know you reckon Worcester is about 45 mins away.

Laura, hello! I don't know what work you do or how much you enjoy it, or how easy it would be to return after a long break, but if you want to hear my advice, it would be this: if at all possible, see if you can do your job part-time (maybe one day a week - is that possible?) I only say that as I have been out of work now for nine years and I am amazed how hard it is (in my mind) to return to any sort of work. If I could have my time again, I would have tried to keep up some P/T contact. What did you do when you had your older children?

Then they will probably flock to you for advice Lauraang, and remember we've all, mostly, said we feel young inside, it's only the bloody mirror that tells us the truth!

One of my very good friends is 28. She thinks like me though, is mature and age is not an issue. Give it a go, dare ya!!!

Hi Kayleigh, yep, that's how I feel. Nothing to prove anymore and a realisation that you're not immortal makes you get off your butt to do things!!

Hi kayleigh, I'm the opposite, I seem to have lost confidence recently, maybe something to do with post natal depression?

Hello - glad to see everyone here two nights running

Laura, I know exactly what you mean both being shy myself and finding it hard to talk to the other mums when they are all so much younger. That is why I am enjoying this so much. I never knew I was so ageist! I just want to be with mums of a similar age to myself, but with at least some children the same age as mine.

sorry, didn't realise you had pnd Laurang, that puts a whole new light on things and of course you can't just get out there.

I hope I didn't sound insensitive, I just didn't realise you were suffering.