WEST LONDON MEET-UP THREAD - JANUARY 2007 - from Acton to Sunbury everybody welcome

[MrsBigD]

Time for a new general chat thread

HAPPY NEW YEAR

O2BME, read "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" for an interesting trait on the Nature V Nurture debate.

Essentially the author "proves" thru all sorts of research that men and women have "hard-wired" thought processes and behavioural reactions to certain things.

I do think in addition to this kids will inherit personality traits from their parents as well tho.

I believe it's a combination of genetic inheritance and learned behaviour. Children take their lead from the primary carers and will mimic their behaviour when faced with similar situations.

Hopefully all our LOs inherit the best from each parent and our parenting skills are so fantastic that they only learn good behaviour.

Thus ALL our kids will be perfect LOL

trait - I meant take*!!

about nature/ nurture thing dd really has traits of both of us and is clearly developing her own. i really hope to pass on all the good things and help her to be confident on developing her own. but i guess some of the craziness will inevitably go in with the milk

I'll have you all know that I am damned fine map reader.

O2BMe - I think behaviour is partly learned (like me shouting at the kids, using the same tone of voice and words that our Mum used on us).

Some is definately genetic though.

Four years ago, DH's daughter - my step daughter - came over from Australia to stay with us. Despite the fact that DH hadn't been able to see her since she was a litle girl, she had exactly the same gait, mannerisms and temperement as DH. Its was very spooky, she even snored the same snore when alseep LOL!

What was even spookier was watching her, DH and DS. They all had the same walk, gait and mannerisms !! Despite the fact that she and DS had never even met each other before! They all had the same legs too, but then we know that's inherited

DS has definetly inherited by insane impatience too, which I clearly get from my Dad, as I react identically to him in many situations. - although of course, that aspect may well be learned behaviour?

Actually I have to 2nd that - my male friends are shocked at how good a map reader I am.

My DS is looking sooooo serious at the moment. He loves to muck around and have a good cackle - don't get me wrong but a lot of the time he has this intense look of concentration on his face. Then is off with the fairys before he snaps back into todays world and goes back to inspecting things with his little fingers. I've nicknamed him 'the thinker'

The seriousness is me I'm afraid but being off with the fairys is definately DH. I didn't want him to pick up on my serious trait!!

O2BME: both DH and I daydream and guess what DS's teacher told me - he is bright enough but daydreams too much LOL!

I remember reading once that daydreaming is supposed to be good for you - it's like giving your brain a little mini-rest and boosts the imagination.

Mind you, I am the biggest daydreamer in my family - it used to take me hours to do the washing up because I'd just stare out of the window and drift away!!

LOL - Pud I bet your family used to say you daydreamed on purpose in hope that someone would take over the washing up for you

Probably they did

Sounds like DS traits are definately inherited then It's all a bit weird seeing a little bit of yourself in your LO. Still catches me by surprise when I'm clearly not expecting it.

Daydreaming rests the brain eh?

Mine must be well rested today then...

We interviewed for my maternity relacement this morning. One of the candidates was waffling so much, in a kind of high pitch breathy voice, that I had to look down to stop myself from laughing. When I looked down, I saw my belly was sort of dancing (LO had just woken within it) and started sniggering

The only way really to tell is to study identical twins who have been separated at birth, and often they are shockingly similar. So, I do beleive that much of personality is inherited. However, I think this is a separate subject from the male/female differences. I'm not a big believer in boys are better at math and girls should play dress up. Whilst DD does like dress up, she also is quite happy to nudge DS aside while she takes over the Thomas toys. I try to introduce her to all things, and then she can choose the course which she naturally prefers.

really on agreement with that female / male thing there are plenty of studies about how socialization creates differences some come about quite subtly for example in expectations of behaviours which are deemed to be naturally male or female this from parents / carers /teachers and that inevitable shapes the responses and expectations

finally a couple of minutes on here! mind you with ds climbing all over me so forgive spelling and stray charactwers

Firm beliver of part inherited/part learned. Character is definitely genes... as is some of the boy/girl behaviour. DS is way more physical than dd was at the same age but then again he's about twice the size she was at that age LOL

We didn't buy gender specific toys for dd but then she suddenly turned all girly. Saying that she is currently playing with ds's train set and also loves dinosaurs.

And ds, given a chance, will put on dd's fairy dresses and shoes or sit on our pink kids sofa instead of on 'his' blue one . and why shouldn't a boy like pretty things?

But how can you tell whether those things are genetic/biological, or learned? You can't because they are genetically yours and you are their carer so you are the source of both nature and nurture.

MrsD - sorry but I just cannot imagine your DS dressed up in a fairy dress and handbag!!!

he's way too butch

Uwila as for the inherited/learned... ds and dd are most definitely displaying different character traits so guessing that's part genetic

Foxie... never said ds looks good in it a bi like the bloke in the Sheila's wheels ads

Mrs D

My boy is all boy too and my girl is , well, just pink and fluffy

My dh was horrified when his nephew got a doll & pushchair for xmas - I didn't see what was wrong with it! But I think my dh is definitely boys play with boys things (ie cars, trains, action man) & girls play with girl things!

My dh was horrified when I suggested buying a doll's pram for his nephew. I think it goes with the whole socialisation thing.

I think most DH's have a problem with their son(s) playing with dolls or push chairs. I bought DS a doll because he loved the "baby" but DH had BIG issues with it!

XOXO - First BigD leaving and now you. Do we smell or somefink ey? By the way, drove past you n'hood today on the way to docs. Is your doc on Rosslyn Road as well by any chance?

O2BME - Thursday sounds good. Now, what to do? Where to meet? BigD, Pudd, any others care to join us. Sorry, wrong thread I know (taking advantage of the fact that you're busy at home now BigD )

My Dh got a bit arsey when I cunningly arranged for a friend to buy DS a toy pushchair for his birthday (I knew it would cause a row if I bought it). Which is ridiculous considering DH does 50% of childcare/chores and is often seen out and about pushing the real buggy

He said "why don't you buy him a pink dress to go with it?" LOL!!

I also bought DS one of those minimalist wooden dolls houses (no frilly curtains) which he quite happily played with...although he did use it as a garage for his cars

I do think now though that our BIL will get one for ds for his birthday just to wind dh up!

2cute - I'm probably around on Thursday, how about Lollipop Club or you're welcome round mine?