Week 9 Low Carb Bootcamp - the belated Chat thread!!!

[BIWI]

Sorry all.

Spreadsheet of Fabulousness
And The Weight Tracker

Hope everyone's results were good this morning and will try and drop in as soon as I can!

MrsK I am impressed that you have managed to get him to see enough of the bigger picture that you need help and that he can help in other ways than cooking, especially when some nt men seem to find it impossible to do this twat ex

yongnian thanks that is helpful. I could definitely do better on the water, and I'm not sure I get the fat right either - I don't seem to lose if I eat dairy much, although I use butter and make my own mayonnaise. I started eating Paleo about a year ago, for auto immune inflammatory disease and immediately lost some weight, but then it stabilised as I was eating starchy veg and some fruit so I decided to try this. I think I will be happy back on that diet, eating dairy and fruit in moderation and some squash and sweet potato now and again, I don't often crave treats, but first I need to lose another 2 stone and it's slow going. I'm determined to do it this time though, I got this far 4 years ago for my wedding and put it all back on again (slimming world, probably buggered up my system).

MrsK I'm glad you seem to be ready to make some changes, it really sounds as though it's time. I wouldn't argue with you about the difficulties of ASD as I don't have first hand experience, but my DH is bipolar 1 and when we decided to get married we did set some very clear boundaries around his management of his condition as a prerequisite. It is challenging for him, but he needs to do it in order to maintain a functional relationship, not to do so would be unreasonable and self indulgent - not exactly the same but I do see some parallels.

Oh MrsK Huge huge hugs. I've worked with SEN kids in the past so I think I get what you mean. I'm glad he is able to see your needs and support you in his own way. I think you've made huge steps forward to getting your control back by stopping feeding DS1 and getting your head straight to batch cook etc, you rock Mrs!

After last nights Atkins bar madness today has been saintly, polishes halo
B: flax /coconut yog, water, coffee with almond milk.
L:(cooked it in advance and packed in a food flask as I was out and about - check me being organised!!) 175g bagged stirfry mix (Aldi mushroom stirfry 0.9g/100g) fried with 100g bacon lardons with ground star anise and a spritz of lime - this was gorgeous!!! Water and a coffee with almond milk
D: steamed broccoli topped with left over pork & beef meatballs
Had a giant cheese crisp (made from a baby bel) with 20g of no sugar salsa.

Random emoji

this line of your post "But surely he can see/can be told how you're suffering/struggling?" has been bothering me. It is hard for asd/aspie because they lack empathy. They feel emotions, they care for others. But they can find it almost impossible to put themselves in the shoes of others to understand how they feel. Rules can be taught on how to deal with emotions of others, and how to read emotions of others. But is it something that they really struggle with. I have to tell ds that I am cross and grumpy if I am tired. he would not be able to tell from my body language and tone of voice. He has to be told I am angry and exactly what it was that he did to make me angry. He would not be able to understand that it could have been him that caused the reaction or even why it would make me angry. Once verbally explained he has rules on how to deal with it. eg angry = he goes to his room/does quiet things until I say I am calm. If I am tired and grumpy he might make me a coffee, give me a hug etc. It has taken a lot of work to get to this stage. He can see the bigger picture eventually but it can take a lot of work to get him to see the impact of the bigger picture. He doesn't just pick up on it like other children his age would do. So no it is not just as simple as him being able to see/being told of how you are struggling/suffering. It might not mean anything because he might not be able to relate to it. Some really can't/struggle with it.

Sorry that is a complete side track, I am not trying to criticise or be horrid. It can be really hard for nt people to understand the difference in the way of experiencing life. It's hard for those who are trying to tread the line between nt and aspie/asd ways, you can get caught in the middle of the different expectations of life. And something that really frustrates me when I am criticised about how I handle ds. Yes I know you don't do that with your little darling but my little darling needs it and I would rather not have to parent this way sometimes, but it really is the only way to get the best out of him. can you tell I have been pissed off by a rather judgemental individual who felt the need to voice their unwanted opinion recently

Bootcamp wise I have taken a step off the plan tonight. I have been getting very down over the no milk thing and it has been badly affecting me. So I have had a night when I have had a few bits that are off plan and carby twat like sugary. I waited until it was not emotion driven (eg not I feel rubbish i need) and I am planning on being back on track tomo. I no longer feel like I am missiong out on things nor do I feel like I need to do this again. And I am looking at the big picture of WOE. Weight is not my goal for this woe, it is health, welfare and sustainability. It has helped reduced my pain levels so much it is something I will be sticking to for a long time. Just to keep that up I think I will occassionally need to off piste so that I don't end up sabotaging myself. Not sure if this is just me or others feel like this when they are maintaining?

Bitchy, that is really helpful on two levels. DS is hyperactive/impulsive, and while diet has helped, I honestly find sometimes I want to weep when we are out and about because I feel so judged. It is a case of working out the parameters of what he can cope with to get the best out of him. A lot of the time I feel like I am still finding my way.

That said, DD is more NT and going through pre-teen friendship group issues and seems to be sinking into a depression about it. She is very empathic and generous natured and really can't cope with it, so she needs a different kind of attention.

I seem to have got stuck on the same weight, which I am happy with as not going up. I would like to lose a bit more but with everything else, I am slightly struggling with being any stricter than now. I am going to KOKO and make sure and walk half an hour a day. Maybe there will be a whoosh before the end of BC but if not, then I will certainly settle for maintaining current loss.

Bitchy - I deliberately wrote:

"But surely he can see/can be told how you're suffering/struggling?"

I'm trying to tread carefully here, because I don't have the experience of dealing with anyone who isn't NT, but I believed that people could be told when someone else was feeling bad about something - as your post has just described.

And the reason I posted what I did was because I have had the feeling for some time that MrsK (sorry to talk about you as if you weren't here!) is putting everyone else's needs before her own. I can quite see why that would be, given the situation she is in with her PILs, and that she might want to support her DH as much as possible.

But she is clearly having a tough time and this needs to be recognised by her DH. If he can't recognise it, then she needs to tell him, so that he understands the impact all of this having on her.

Sorry, Bitchy, meant to add, I am not established in maintenance yet but have been getting round the need for nonBC things by making BC friendly alternatives - not sure if that helps? I am working on no sugar alternatives of treats for DS anyway and a couple of times helped myself too. Moderation is key, I think

Being told and understanding the telling is two different things though and it has taken 5 years of yelling, shouting, screaming, hitting, biting, kicking and door slamming by ds for ds to understand that if I tell him I am cross because he has done something then that thing is wrong. It can often feel like the lights are on but nobody gives a shit. Very frustrating and exhausting. MrsK's DH obviously has got past this stage but there are adults who if you tell them that something upsets them that they just would not get it because they would not feel that way or understand that others could feel that way in the situation. It depends on the support and the work that has been put into the individual as they grow up. But that is by the by and I will happily admit to being over sensitive at the moment having been told by a judgy parent that I am ruining ds' childhood because he is not allowed to go to people's house's/have people to play after school. He is not allowed because he can't cope with it but she can't see that. To her I am just a controlling monster. So I am feeling a bit down because I do want ds to do as normal as possible things but this is yet another thing he will never be able to do like other kids. But for him it is what is needed.

I will happily agree that in the ideal world that MrsK needs more support unfortunately in reality there are so many that can't get it. They are the parent/partner, therapist, psychologist etc. The system sucks and you are on your own to figure it out. There is no help and no support. But if you are lucky there might be family who understand and help. But it certainly sorts your friends and family you have contact with for you. The world with sn is just harder than the nt world. which is why the sn section means to much to many. But lets be honest parenting is hard full stop. It is just a phase is key for so many reasons.

Thanks bitchy and biwi I agree with both of you. MrK is no where near as extreme as some cases (my Niece is quite an extreme case as is my Cousins son - they both will need support forever and probably wont be able to live independently). MrK is high functioning to the point to the point people just think he's 'quirky' and 'odd' and 'really fucking selfish'. The thing is he can be all of those things and i'm not always convinced it's ASD related.

He is extremely caring and generous to the point of reckless (would not care if i spent every penny on a bag and used to leave our car unlocked so all the kids in the street could use it as a den). But if i'm annoyed he really needs it spelling out and then will kind of nod but not think HE can somehow help. OR will go away and come back beaming with some hair brained scheme 'i know you are struggling so why don't you take the children and move in with my parents for 6 months and i will just see you at weekends' WTF? NO! HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LOAD THE DISHWASHER!!? and then be really hurt and confused because he gave me a really good plan that would solve the problem. If you know anything about Game Theory, then that's kind of what it's like.

DS1 can't read peoples faces at all and i struggle making him understand when i am cross or upset. He also has sensory issues (like DH) and is hyperactive (like DH - hence all the days out for stimulation) so i assume he will be like his father. However, i will try to help him find ways round and with tools and techniques - rather than pils. Who are very indulgent of DH. (altho considering i am still spoon feeding DS1 maybe i'm just as bad ) I really appreciate your input BIWI. SOmetimes it takes someone outside the situation to say WTF, before i realise how odd it is. I can be a bit of a martyr and i always put everyones needs above mine.

He ate about 3 mouthfuls of porridge this morning and i had to really stop myself from jumping in and feeding him

I also have Bipolar Charlie, so don't really trust my own feelings a lot of the time.

Anyway - sorry for the total merailment there. Apologies to all for droning on.

Had a lovely lamb stew last night and have lots of leftovers for lunch. Fish pie for dinner tonight, with mashed cauli (never done that before any tips?).

Merailment is exactly what these threads are for, MrsK!

Re the mashed cauli, I personally think it's better when there are more lumps rather then when it's a fine puree. And after you've boiled it, drain in a colander or sieve and let it steam dry for a couple of minutes, as it can be quite watery.

Lovely then with butter and/or cream, but also lots of salt and black pepper.

Thanks for the tip BIWI.

i think the baby has scarlet fever. Got an app at dr at 11.40. :(

It must be so challenging i can see why you are having difficulties MrsK and others. I have learnt so much from this thread.

We have some distant relatives and their that suffer from ASD and to my shame its not something i know anything about, i just hear inlaws talking about how they need discipline - quite obvs they have no understanding either! I will def be more mindful from now on.

I love these threads and the randomness of the conversation. From pictures of muffin tops and great racks, to finding out about ASD.

MrsK - for mashed cauli, once boiled or steamed I mash it with a handheld whizzer with butter, a bit of pepper, and it is also quite nice with a sprinkling of nutmeg.

I do a (distant) version of Jamie Oliver's fish pie:

Put a layer of fresh spinach or nuggets of frozen stuff on the bottom of a rectangular oven dish. No need to faff around with wilting it.

It a wide shallow pan, I gently fry a chopped onion and a finely diced carrot (not essential, but I like the colour it adds). Take off the heat and mix in the zest and juice of a lemon, about 250ml of cream, grated cheese and some chopped parsley if you have it. Any odds and ends of cream cheese also go well in this. Allow to slump, then add chunks of fish and mix around (whatever is available - Lidl do good frozen salmon fillets - I would use about 4 fillets).

Pour the mixture into the oven dish, on top of the spinach. I sprinkle quartered boiled eggs over the top, then top with either more grated cheese, or some chopped feta, or a combination. Cook in the oven for about 1/2 hour until the top is golden & crispy.

I tend to serve the mash on the side.

In fact, I may be making this tonight.

Have only just this morning stumbled on this thread and your fab spreadsheets BIWI. How have I missed this? You are the answer to my prayers

I'm a late starter - ahem, last week - and I have been looking for guidance. And here it is! Now firmly bookmarked.

One q - apologies if this has been asked before - why no nuts?

No nuts in the first two weeks because they can get carby very quickly.

And welcome!!!

Oh, I can't claim credit for the spreadsheets. They are the work of several very committed MNetters, especially WillyWaggleDagger and SayraT

So sorry MrsK - hope all is well

alma it was me that said 11-7, not chester.

Well, I haven't eaten yet, so I can start today.

sayra only just seen your post about the muffins being OK. I have bought the ingredients to try them this morning.

Can you post or sign post me to the savoury ones as well please. I literally do 3/4 different breakfasts at the minute because I have scrapped the pain au chocolate. It goes like this -

Ds- I want porridge.
Me to the others, do you want porridge. Chorus of no.
Cook porridge for Ds,
dd3 - I want porridge.
Dd2- I want scrambled eggs
Ds- I'm still hungry, what else can I have.

Grrrrrr!

beryl at distant version.

Everything I do is a distant version. In fact, by the time I've finished any resemblance is probably purely circumstantial.

Dp's face why can you not just follow the recipe?

"Because that's boorrring!

The other savory ones were someone else, I can't remember who so I can't take credit for them. Basic recipe was:

Tub ricotta cheese (the Tesco own brand is lower carb than the Sainsburys own brand - no checked any others)
Spinach
Chorizo
Other cheese, recipe might have been parmesan but I used grated cheddar and grated mozzarella
2 eggs (or maybe one )

Cook spinach and chorizo and leave to cool.
Mix all other ingredients together.
Add cooled ingredients.
Put in muffin cases.
Cook in oven until done.

I am not the best person for giving recipes and I read them then jsut do my own thing by flinging in a bit of this, bit of that, wee touch more of this etc etc and I have no idea what temperature or length of time I cook for. I just cook until ready

They were called "Ricotta Bites".

Ah, sass just seen your post above and you sound similar to me so my instructions will probably be fine for you!

They are indeed sayra

Thank you.