Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone? Part 22

[Monty100]

Yay, did I make it to the bar first again??

dd1 has to share a room with dd2, and she has appallingly low standards for her room, which is really not fair on dd2

some of the stuff i have found, i would be too embarrassed to say, but now what i do if i find anything she has been too lazy to dispose of, or put in the right place, is pick it all up and put it in the middle of her bed, under the duvet

that seems to have helped

oh as well as mentioning it very loudly when dp is here as well

dd1 is v taxing, she even threatens to cut herself over basic requests, but i have told her v clearly i wont be held to ransom by her emotional blackmail, and if she wants me to treat her like an adult then she has to start acting like one, and that includes basic room tidying, not picking on the younger ones, and not using tears and threats of self harming to get her own way

another thing she has done is to raise her voice and start screaming and begging not to hit her, which is only for drama cos she stands at the other side of the room, and it is v rare i have ever smacked my kids, and certainly not how she hints at

Lou - omg you've got it all going too. Poor dd2. They are all so different. Your dd looks so angelic as well as my ds. Funny enough, I'm worried that ds starts any of that attention seeking stuff because there is clearly something wrong atm. I told him last night that I wanted to smack him but I wouldn't lower myself lol. (itching hands). I am thinking of asking for help though so I daren't raise my hand. Also, I don't want to get in the scenario where he hits me back. That would hurt far too much. But that's how far things have gone. I am sooo fed up and do not know what to do. (gawd that sounds pathetic).

We should chat on fb.

dd1 is taller than me and said things about not "hitting" her or she would do it back, but i just stand my ground and call her bluff

of course she never does

this isnt all the time but it isnt that rare either (the drama i mean not the threats to hit, she has only rarely said that), and it always follows the same boring old pattern so i can see it unfolding a mile off

it doesnt really matter how i react, she will make sure it ends up with a big scene, but i refuse to let her get her way like that

i have told her that the amount of time she spends kicking off about something uses up far more time and energy than actually doing it, and she still ends up having to do it afterwards

she and ds1 have their fathers temperament , dd2 and ds2 have mine

i think it is slowly happening less often now though

Lou - Thank goodness yr dd hasn't gone that far. I'm sure this phase will peter out too if its handled ok. DS has got his df's nature, no doubt. Grrr. And influence . Now the damage is done of course exh has detached himself. I could hide ds' shoes tonight and lock every window and door. But my instinct tells me not to do it. Plus I have a fear of an emergency tbh. I'm going to let it go and see what happens. Am I wrong? Thanks for listening.

you know him best, if you have to do stuff then you must have good reason when you do

dd1 wouldnt dare go that far, despite how she can act up, she knows better than to pull a stunt like that in reality

she can be really bloody hard work but it is only confined to home, so it could be worse

i have to get to bed now, i hope it resolves itself, you can message me on fb if you need

night

oh dear everyone seems to be having a hard time of it with their teenagers .

glad i have a few years till i reach that stage!!

betty - yes.. my new car. i'm pleased, was worth the wait and is lovely to drive.

just getting ready here to go drop dc off at their dads and spend wkd with rochester.

whats everyone else up with the sun out??

Sorry I didnt come back Monty, went to bed lol

I think asking for help would be a good thing, do your schools have parenting support advisors?

What was he grounded for in the first place?

juicy your ex is back that's good is he staying around?
new car congrats!
how's things today monty?

juicy your ex is back that's good is he staying around?
new car congrats!
how's things today monty?

Hi ladies,

need to rant about ex

Saw mr blue last night - need some advice in a mo about that too to stop me going off on one again! Arranged to see him Sunday afternoon - for the only 2 hours I get a week without DS. Ex just text to say he's got no petrol money so was going to suggest bike ride, but as the weather isn't going to be good can he cancel! I said no I've made plans maybe i can drop DS off at wacky/swimming etc. Ex replied to say it'll be a bike ride then. Now I'm left feeling bad 'cos if its raining my DS will be out in it . Rant over.

Now advice for mr Blue please. Things going okay although we haven't been out much if you know what I mean. Anyway, he was talking about someone he saw last year for a couple of mths who broke it off with him and didn't want to meet his kids. Anyway, he's been for a coffee with her (before seeing me) just as friends and he said he told her it would be as friends as they've both moved on. They still chat on msm - he is a friendly person. But a couple of weeks ago he told me he invited a friend over for tea and she met his kids. I wasn't bothered at the time - but from things he said last night - i think it maybe this ex from last year, so am thinking maybe he's still harbouring after her, why did he ask her over knowing she'd meet his kids? I know nothing happened that eve as he text me as he went to bed and I may be putting 2 and 2 together and making 5. Its just bugging me and you know I have to have something bugging me! Someone tell me to chill out!

Sorry for lengthy message.

Sm01-I would stick to your guns with ex, I'm sure if it pours down he will find something else to do with ds.

As for Blue? There are lots of blokes who have female friends, but you have to go with your gut feeling sometimes I think. I'm not sure what I would do about tho as if they are genuinely just friends you could come across as jealous etc. Sorry not much help am I!

Lovely weather today isnt it! Off out to a seaside town with bf tonight, for something to eat and few drinks

sm - i agree with betty on both counts sorry ((()))

hi everyone, i will try and catch up more next week xx

my new name - amnot sure aabouyt it at mo

yes but who are you??? i mean were you

Hi peeps.

Hmm, so who was aurora?? Don't recognise the syle.

DS broke free this morning as soon as my back was turned. No breakfast, no money.... oh well. I've been and got my hair cut and stuff, he'll come home when he's hungry as they say. I know that sounds flip, I am actually fuming but can't see what I can do and we are going to go the wedding reception, probably not too late. I don't want him to think he is controlling my life.

Lou - thanks again.

Betty - He was grounded for clearing off out the other day without even asking. He's going feral!

Ninah - I'm losing the will with him really.

Anyway, back to the proper topic of this thread... MEN!

SM01 - MrBlue seems to wind you up a lot. Is he worth it?

Hoping everyone's ok and you all have a good Saturday night, I'm off to beautify myself lol.

good evening to all the lovely ladies on this thread about MEN

back from hols which was nice, to a brief case full of legal paper work, sigh well at least I had one week off from the raging war

anyone care to give me the low down on whats been going on in your worlds

Lock him out and go enjoy yourself monty. Come back when you are ready, he will just have to wait.
Hi to everyone else. I have done bugger all but watch a dvd and cook dinner today. Bloody great

Haven't done much today. DD treated me to lunch at my fav cafe. Sunbathed this afternoon and stuck in the house tonight. I know I need some quiet after all the excitement but I'm going stir crazy and need a night out soon.

Passmyglass, lots of loved up ladies. Betty, Juice, Belle and of course Lou. SM01 dating but early days, Clara enjoying getting back in the saddle. The rest still looking. Ninah and Monty still with DP's.

Evening ladies - how are you all.

Monty, sorry to hear about what you're going through - I'm with Lou, lock him out and let him come to his senses. Apparently teenagers go through hormonal changes which make them behave like overgrown toddlers and makes them sometimes need to be given boundaries - and makes them thick!

Have to say I'm dreading the teenage years, especially as my DD appears to be trying to get an early start by moving straight from toddler tantrums to teenagey strops and she's not even six yet!

On the dating front, still getting the usual lot of fruitbats, sadly. Got a message the other day from a guy who seemed normal and wanted to chat. I was about to go out and pick up the kids so messaged him saying that. Today got a message back "Hello Babe, Thanks for your reply, i am really happy you wrote
me back.....great kids you have there, you never told me their
names, i hope to meet them soon, i will be hoping if they will
accept me,"
I

I mean wtf! We've not even met (not even going to meet!) and he wonders if my kids will accept him - I don't accept him! nutter ...

and then got one tonight on gsm from a guy who felt the need to share with me "I'm test-drving an A4 and an A5 quattro tomorrow... will be a few months before I get one delivered so will a vauchall insignia (it's a hire car, not my choice) do for the moment...?"

The guy is a munter obviously ...

AM off to knit myself a boyfriend and pour a large glass of wine!

Hi all, Like the idea of knitting a boyfriend - can you do one for me too!!

Nothing much to report here. Have had a houseful of friends with kids for half term.
On the man front had a really interesting chat with flight and going to try to meet up next week.

Travelling man rang me from the BA lounge at heathrow of all places! I suppose thats where he hangs out most. Said he was waiting to catch a plane, is out of the country for the next few weeks and wants to take me out when he gets back, will have to see what happens, like him a lot but he is never around

good morning campers!

how are we all today? well the weekend here started off beng messed about by the ex - idiot man. soldier then darling man was introduced to my parents, nan, & best mate. and very nearly XH. but he charmed them all and they think he's nice which is good - even got my dad to put his paper down and talk to him as well (v good sign as dad usually peers over the top of it then gets up and walks in the garden!) lazy pub lunch then someone (soldier!) decided to have a picnic in the woods - hmm.... yeah not so good if you don't take a map as we got lost - big style, 45 minutes & me having 2 panic attacks/being assey later we found the car and went back to the pub! wouldn't have minded so much but walking for 4 hours around the woods it got a bit much. lol. oh and the picnic - was in edible by the time we sat to have it.

Boy was hysterical when I came home thou took over an hour of him screaming for daddy to settle him down. he was crying I was crying. but least I had a brew made, and a huge bar of dairy milk shoved in the hand. lol. think XH will be needing to find his own place when he comes here now shortly - left the house clean & tidy & returned to find it a total Shite state - not happy - not happy at all.

anyhow what's been happening here then? - lets go catch up.....

juicy - how was the w.e with rochester?

elast mum - is he worth the wait, whilst looking about for others?

kdk - you're really not having too much luck up there lol. the man/kids thing - huge huge flags. other one, obv has a small 'member' as feels the need to share his car choices

eve - treated to lunch sounds nice.

monty - sorry to hear you're having trouble with DS. has anything changed of late to make him act out so much? think Lou has some good ideas thou.

I can't work out our name changer either.

lou - what was erotica like last year when you went? am thinking of going for a dirty nice romantic weekend away with soldier again. just wondering what to expect - would be the sat day one.

sm - ref the ex - his tough luck, he'll have to do something else with DS. ref mr blue agree with betty, althou I do agree you do seem to have a lot of insecurities around him, do you think he's worth the hassle? thinking about it thou is it that uncommon for a man to introduce a woman as a friend to his kids who is actually a friend iycwim? but deffo go with your gut.

ninah, pirate, betty - big waves to you all. hope you're all set for a good w.e we're doing our usual tidy about on a sunday - bit shit really as I did it all y'day incl changing my sheets so I could have today with DS but NO ex has to bugger it up so more tidying!

hello all
lol at belle and soldier getting lost in the woods, hmm
and your dad sounds just like mine with the newspaper thing, what a good description, brought him right back there for a moment
my sister recalls beating on the telegraph as a child to get attention
monty i hope you went and are enjoying yourself, totally agree with lou, also, about locking and leaving
i had some one to one time with ds today which was nice
hugely hungover. so not in best decision making frame of mind
but as you know have been seeing nm/ex for ages now on a fairly non involved basis. it is nice to have someone around but ... well I have lots of friends already and I would like more from a bloke I suppose
had bbq last night and his son was really quite rude, not the first time, sitting in separate room, nm/ex takes him in his food, ignores me, when I disagree with him - politely in discussion starts shouting - and nm/ex just ignores it all, making me wonder if I am imagining it. Nothing major just lots and lots of little things, the ds sitting in passenger seat when we go out so I have to go in back, stuff like that. It's pissing me off now. Last time I was round there he was told to go to bed at about 10.30 and came back down straight away sat and watched film with us, nothing said. Do i say something, and risk the friendship? or just accept I'm better off out of it and cut ties without going into all this
I don't know
Am v fond of him he is a kind man just a bit weak I suppose

ninah - nm/ex situation... you wouldn't allow a female freidns dc to treat you that way.. and the friend wouldn't allow their ds to be so disrepectful to you... does nm/ex think its acceptable to ignore women/elders and place them in 2nd place(in back seat)... sorry to say.. but if a friends dc were treating me this way i wouldn't visit them with dc around. i dont need the aggro.

belle - ... do you think exh is purposefully making extra mess as he's annoyed at you having a life?

elasta - surely you can see traveller but fate others? have you set a date for flight?

kdk - agree.. car fella is very concerned about appearances. or has a small twinky ... guy wanting to meet kids...

sm01 - you really dont want to hear this i dont think... but having dinner with a female who he's had sexual relationships with in the past.. and introducing to his kids has 2 outlooks for me. either

a)she's actually his girlfriend (texting while she's there proves nothing i'm afraid. anyone remember bigt i seen... he could text anytime of day.. turned out to be married.. and he was even texting from bed while his wife was sleeping beside him

b) she is a friend.. and how do you feel about that... i wouldn't be happy with someone i was seeing having this kind of intimate meeting with an ex-gf. i couldn't date a man who did.. but you are not me. if you can handle this and think this is all it is.. then no need to say anything to him about it.

but i think it does bother you??? or you wouldn't be asking us our opinion... i doubt i'm the only lady on this thread who would find this a deal breaker????? anyone else???

monty - how was wedding?

PMG - glad you had good holiday

scl - how#s things with you

how is everyone else?

aurora.... can we have a clue please?

hi all

re car fella - wouldn't mind but that was his idea of an opening message!!!! Wonder if he gets any replies - I did think of directing him to the What Car website but just decided to ignore him!

And juice ta for the running shoes!