Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone? Part 22

[Monty100]

Yay, did I make it to the bar first again??

ok they might dismiss it and not take action but at least you know that you've tried

fantastic news juice, there is room for one more on the sofa

I reckon the sofa is full now. Anyone falling off? lol.

It's OK, about time I face it, I'm not about to want to sit on it anytime soon. You'd think I'd know this after all these years.

Quiet weekend planned for me. Have to work 5 days next week and DD back so we will both be resting.

Have a great weekend everyone.

its a magical expandable sofa eve

quiet weekend for me too, tho dp might actually have the whole sunday off

I almost daren't post this on here for fear of something going wrong but...I have a date tomorrow with that very nice sounding 24 year old I mentioned before!

lovely news juicy
really pleased to hear it.
have a lovely weekend everyone

Janos, great. Don't bother about the age gap just go with the flow if you fancy him. Look forward to hearing all about it.

Thanks eve. Hope you have a lovely restful w/e.

I'll let you all know how it goes.

You too ninah

Take pictures

I'm having a look at this dating for parents site... any tips?

@ asbm - your precis is spot on! Have just had a message on OKC which reads - I kid you not 'hi id love to give you a gorgeous rimjob sometime x" - am wavering between replying 'Frankly I'd rather suck a rim block' or 'Well at least I wouldn't be able to see you face'.

And on Dating for Parents (or perverts/psychos/pensioners - delete as applicable!) have had the following (warning it's long!) 'Look Princess !!!!!! Why am I the only man who can see it?s so obvious that when God made you he was unmistakably showing of his artistic flare and genius? Little wonder then he had to rest on the 7th day. So how is a mere humble geezer like me going to win your attention. Scale of Idea \ Success

|1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 |

1= extremely bad idea
5 = Possibility
10 = definite cert

(A). Enter you in a reality show. 1st problem. You would win even before the production started. 2nd problem every single man on planet Earth would have a picture of you and be sending you lovey-dovey fan mail. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (1)

(B). Help you to find a cure for an untreatable disease. Oh sure that will go down well. Help you invent a radical pill to stop men thinking with their ... and start thinking with their emotions and feelings. Absolute suicide. 1st problem you would win the Nobel Prize. 2nd problem you would be on the front cover of every world magazine. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (1)

(3). Speak to a contact at the Sun Newspaper and get you on Page 3. 1st problem every man would see your assets. OVER MY DEAD BODY. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (1)

(4). Help you become the next Prime minister. Impossible. Your just to honest and to caring. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (2)

(5). Non starter. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (-17)

(6). Cut a deal with my mate Billy at Microsoft to put your face on every single Windows desktop computer. Some one give me a loaded gun. Not cool, back to the drawing board. (1)

(7). Ummmmmm ask you to join me for a romantic Indian or Chinese meal with fine vino. (Now why did it take me so long to think of that one?) (10) '

apologies for length of last one - wouldn't mind but he has send me several messages none of which I have responded to for fear of encouraging the fuckwit ...

@ dominique - that might anwswer your query re dating for parents - my tip would be stay well clear!

Kdk - how do you answer that one? Silly question really as I guess the simple answer is, you don't! Why why why why would they think it is attractive??

Ninah - where are you off to?

FLF - have a good one.

Hi everyone else.

Which one Monty? The latter I just ignore - like I said, he's sent me a few messages all along the same lines - tbh, he creeps me out which is why I don't even bother with the standard f*ck off back under the rock you crawled out from ...

As for the first think I'll go with I'd rather suck a rimblock but take your point on both of them - do they honestly think women are going to respond? How? Or am I missing something?

do you have your profile full of pics of you in ball gags and nipple clamps by any chance? if so i think that could be why you get such strange messages

please dont change them tho because your posts on here are always brilliant to read

to the first one i would decline and say but i heard his mother likes them instead

for the second i would go with the " i think you mistake me for someone who gives a shit what you think" response

kdk
am at a loss for words tbh....!!
eve hope that you have a good quiet one with dd
did she enjoy her time away?(silly q!)
and what's happening with her date/bf?
lou enjoy
janos think that you need to tell me more
mont expecting that you've got your fri curry lol

x posts with lou who has it spot on

enjoy what?

it sounds fun whatever you mean

@ lou - gosh, I knew I was going wrong somewhere ... joking aside, you've seen my profile - I'm getting more and more convinced that I have unwittingly included a coded message saying I like old weird men with a penchant for strange practices!

maybe you just like a dirty bit of stuff who would be up for anything

you cant hide what your eyes want

please dont delete me from fb now lol

look like i mean haha

tho maybe i meant what i said first of all ...

I'm not so sure Lou ... especially as you've revealed my secret to the whole of mumsnet!

i never dunnit!

it's ok i wont let on about the intimate piercings or scat club membership

wait.....

It's okay Lou, at least you didn't blab about the foot fetish or the alternative 'house cleaning' club!

that was where we met wasnt it?

Shh, they'll all want to join now!