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Original poster

Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (pt 17)

993 replies

Remotew · 18/01/2010 18:03

Has no-one beaten me to it yet?

Juicy sounding good.

WG old friend is worth seeing again.

Second not to arrange a meet up without me. Maybe down south in May.

OP posts:
whethergirl · 19/01/2010 22:22

oh juicy, really hate being in that situation.

Um...help please...lovely guy emailed me but he's in Maidstone (Kent). I asked him if he ever came down to London, he said not really, did I ever come out of London, I said not really. So then I wrote, "Oh well...not sure where to go from here then. I know, I'll try the kitchen for a comfort biscuit..." and he wrote back "Not sure where to go... hmm, does that have the hallmark of all the effort being required of me? Maybe Ill join you in the kitchen .. but Hey at least you have one - you could invite me ;0)"

Firstly, I mean - he contacted ME, so AIBU in thinking it's odd he hasn't even offered once to come to London for a date? And also when he said "you could invite me", does he really mean I should invite him, or was he just going along with the kitchen joke??

lou33 · 19/01/2010 22:25

ask him what kind of nibble he is expecting in your kitchen

DONTtouchMUMSfestiveJUICE · 19/01/2010 22:25

wg - think it means he was having a luagh but your not going to meet unless you come helf way for a date.

chocolate - men re dc is sore point for me at the moment.

but.. generally there's 3 brackets of men.

1)those who couldn't care less and it makes no difference to them at all if you have dc.

2)those who dont want to be involved with someone with dc.

3)those who haven't grown up and dither about whether or not your "worth it"

whethergirl · 19/01/2010 22:32

@ lou33!

melted - of course it depends on the man, but I must say I actually prefer blokes with kids themselves, because then they are more likely to understand where I'm coming from, and it feels easier to talk about our dc's.

Mongolia · 19/01/2010 22:34

Just have fun Whethergirl . Follow on the joke, if you feel uncomfortable at some point wish him good night.

Original poster
Remotew · 19/01/2010 22:34

KDK so sorry for your loss.

Melted you are doing the right thing however hard it is to do.

Juicy, don't know where you find the energy for all these dates. Guess it's being young and sorting out that diet. There are too many fish in your sea to waste time if no spark.

I'm meeting Salesman in town tomorrow for a coffee Yay! Have to finish work early so I suggested it. Cannot have a night like Saturday without meeting up again quickly.

Lou didn't I say that about face to face. lol

Mongolia, agree sometimes an adoring man can turn your head or then again your stomach.

Hatesponge, sounds similar to when I started my job a year ago. Had to track down a guy and when he finally presented himself our eyes locked. Found at very quickly that he was coupled up with children. However, there was a bit of subtle flirting at the works do recently, very harmless though. Nothing wrong with a nice smile at work and who knows he might be single.

OP posts:
meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:35

Dont - sorry to hit a sore point

Someone I know said to me the other day "I dont care if you have a child. I think that is sexy" He 'fancies me' but is just a kid and acts like it (and rightly so, I would be too if I didn't have to grow up for my son) but COME ON! What was that? When I asked him why on earth that was 'sexy' he said because it shows experience... Please.....

Thats why I wont be near men anytime soon. Anyone old enough to see how real my situation is and what it would really mean to be in a proper relationship with me would be TOO old. So its the single road for me for the time being. Which I am becoming more comfortable with.

WG - huh?? Bit of an odd response.

lou33 · 19/01/2010 22:36

never had a problem with men and me having children, though i wouldnt date anyone who did, and they always know from the off what my situation is

Mongolia · 19/01/2010 22:38

RUN TO THE MOUNTAINS. Block him... finding it sexy that you have a child? what is he? a...?

Original poster
Remotew · 19/01/2010 22:38

x post with WG and her kitchen man. Sounds like he wanted an invite to stay at yours. Agree keep the joke going and see what he says.

OP posts:
meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:38

So does it not worry any of you that you will meet a dogey one?

(just reading all your posts to catch up with who is doing what)

Mongolia · 19/01/2010 22:41

Meltedchoc. You are young but there are some people in thei late twenties or those who have had long term relationships and children , as you do, who can offer a more.. balanced take on starting a relationship?

Don't give up just yet.

lou33 · 19/01/2010 22:41

omg sorry yes i meant eve

meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:41

Mong - this is someone I have known since school. A slightly younger friend who has a crush and is just finding his cock basically. He knew me in my slutty younger days and hasn't quite grasped the change in my life and how serious this is for me. I just keep telling him to stop trying to flirt (yes, that is his atempt - haha), he is too young, I am not looking etc etc.

Mongolia · 19/01/2010 22:43

Oh yes, you may meet some dodgy ones, that's why you need to try to know as much as you can from the person and to do a complete security drill before meeting.

meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:44

Mong - I hope you are right. I need to be alone for now and find my feet and my life but I hope either H eventually sorts himself out (with plenty proof of course - yeah right) or I meet a decent man one day a fair bit in the future.

Original poster
Remotew · 19/01/2010 22:45

I've been on Dating direct, years ago and also POF (the free one). Can honestly say I've never once met a dodgy one off either. Never had any dodgy messages as such. Just didn't meet anyone I liked, bar one.

Then again I've never met anyone dodgy in RL either that or my standards are pretty low.

Gone out with men who have young children, grown-up children or none. None have been put off by me being a mum until they met DD and she almost stuck pins in wax dolls of them. lol

Either circumstances has it's advantages and disadvantages. Especially once you get heavily involved. Kids might not get on etc, or the childless might want children which would be a problem for me know.

OP posts:
meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:46

Hope all goes well with your salesman eve. (forgot to put that in my previous posts - getting totally lost on this thread )

Original poster
Remotew · 19/01/2010 22:48

Thanks, it's moving quick this thread. New blood and all which is great.

OP posts:
lou33 · 19/01/2010 22:49

never met a dodgy one either

got a lovely one now

right i am off to bed, long day, non stop, dead on my feet

night all

Mongolia · 19/01/2010 22:50

Good luck> let us kno how did it go

meltedchocolate · 19/01/2010 22:52

'new blood' - haha

Yes i must go to bed too if I am to get up again in the morning!

Nice chatting to you all

hatesponge · 19/01/2010 23:02

kdk - re your dsis.
just to let you know though that I have messaged the match guys for you, fingers crossed they track you down on Pof.

and to you and wg, if you did want to go along to one of these things in London (scls sounded good) I'd be happy to come with you...if you didnt mind that is Hopefully we could have a laugh even if the eligible men count turns out to be zero...I can only really do Fris or Sats though, dont know when scls event was (talking of which - Scl why are you not going along to it anyway?!)

juice - can understand where you are coming from re your date, really skinny men don't do it for me either. The DC's dad was slim rather than skinny which was ok, my last Ex was more what I would describe as stocky (not fat, just sort of solid) and that was rather lovely

bit of an update on work man....friend who knows him vaguely thinks he had/has a girlfriend, but doesnt think he is married. and he definitely doesnt have children. This however is bad, because I've always steered away from guys without DC. How typical!...

whethergirl · 19/01/2010 23:08

Don't really want to start doing Carry On jokes re kitchen and food (of which there are plenty). I don't like doing that kind of thing with blokes first hand (until I get to know them then I'm a right dirty cow!). Thanks melted, glad you agree it was an odd response, he was just SO enthusiastic in his initial email, that to all of sudden be like "well i'm not coming all the way to London to see you" makes me think, well find someone in bloody Maidstone then.

melted - I kind of think I know what he means about it being sexy though . Try and think of it the other way round. If you see a lovely bloke, that you fancy, dealing with his kids - being patient, fun and organising them - then it's an endearing quality, no?

Also melted, nothing wrong with older men! And men have all different levels of maturity so age shouldn't matter. Do you think you just don't feel ready? I have been single for 5 years (ds is 4.5) and went out on first date a couple of months ago. Thing is, I got used to the lonliness before, but now I've got a taste of it (so to speak!) I find the lonliness hard to live with now.

Can I just ask again...'Handsome' from POF has asked me out on a date, ONLY thing putting me off is that he has described himself as handsome, both in his profile and in his intial email to me (has pics, so think I should be judge of that )

piratecat · 19/01/2010 23:09

hiya, i am not normally on here, this thread i mean. (waves at lou33), but just wanted to pop by if that's cool?
I reactivated my account on Match, and lo and behold got a wink from a lovely looking bloke, within about 5 mins of looking at his profile. He is just my type.

Typical, cos i can only wink back but not send a message as I am not a member, and can't afford to be so either!

I changed my profile description to hint at being on another site, so if he's canny enough he might realise it.

will let you know!!