Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (pt 17)

[Remotew]

Has no-one beaten me to it yet?

Juicy sounding good.

WG old friend is worth seeing again.

Second not to arrange a meet up without me. Maybe down south in May.

LouIs, maybe he is waiting for the diagnosis so he can decide what to do? He is probably feeling really gutted because he obviously really likes you, but perhaps feels to share the burden of this illness with someone who has fallen for, but hasn't known for a very long time, isn't fair on you?
I think you are doing the right thing by not pestering him, I find blokes often withdraw when they are facing difficulties (unlike us lot, who just love to talk it out!). He'll come to you when he's ready. Not much either of you can do until you get the full diagnosis.

Appreciate it must be really heartbreaking for you, but it's not the end of the story yet, wait and see what happens.

agree with eve and Wg - some men do this when facing difficulties- it's as if they aren't presenting their best selves (grammar?) they don't want you to see them vulnerable.

I have had plenty of experience of it and have usually just sat on my hands re texting etc and tried to get on with my life. Hard though when you have fallen for them. I believe Crohns can be quite debilitating.

I knew I would get good advice here. Thanks. That is all I can do is wait and see what happens.
I think he has ceoliac (sp) so hopefully it's that and not the Crohns.
Men are just wierd. Must keep repeating that mantra

hi, i am using my friends laptop, i have no internet acces atm

just dropping in to say things are all going v v well, he tells me that L word daily now

have only been able to skim through the posts since i last was online, but hope things are all going well for everyone, and i will be back online soon i hope

Hey Lou33, I was getting worried about you. Glad it's all going lovely. Was going to resort to texting to see if you were OK.

louIs - sorry... i think he has just changed his mind after spending a week living together. he may very well be putting life on hold for diagnosis... but it is very possible he has just changed his mind on whether or not he wants to settle with you.

stop initiating any texts/calls with him. reply if he sends anything to you. but i would start backing off. see if he steps up and realises he wants you.

or.... stop contact completely. if he wants to be with you.. he will ask why you aren't responding.

trouble is... sounds like he's already doing that to you... if he's completely ignoring your texts then he's trying to cut away from you.

i'm truly sorry if this is the case.

i hope its not... and when you cut down/ cut off contact he comes looking for you.

but if he doesn't bother.. then thats because he doesn't want to and has just been too chicken to finish it outright.

can i ask.... when was the last time you seen him properly since xmas?

That week we spent together. All his idea. I thought it was too soon to spend so much time together. I think he has scared himself to be honest. I can see that it is ending but I want him to have some balls and end it. I am not going to make it easy by doing it. It is a pity as out of everyone I was ready to settle down with him too

ok... why dont you just ASK him whats going on? outright. straight to the point. if you have discussed babies and marriage then surely this should be a small thing in comparison

Have done that. He said that he does not want to end it blah blah blah. I am joining a convent.

hmmm. ok. i'd back off and see what he does. reply. but dont initiate any messages/calls

I am being very strong and not contacting him. And eating all the pavlova

I have dairy milk to trade! (love my mummy! lol!)

lou - I think I would tend to agree with juice, I think the spending a week together bit may have been too much for him-coupled with his illness etc. Agree if you have asked him whats going on, and he hasnt given you a clear answer all you can do now is step back and sit on your hands. Don't pursue him. If its meant to be - and am a great believer in que sera sera - then he will sort himself out, realise what he has and come back to you.

LouIs, some people fall in and out of love very quickly, which is confusing and unfair on people like you who are more genuine and consistent. All you can do is back off and wait like the others have said. You may want him, but you need someone in your life you can count on and that really wants you, you deserve that at the very least (preaching to myself here!).

ono can't keep up
fecking fecking broadband let me down again
they are supposed to be checking it
if I vanish that's why
now I fallen behind, any big news happening?
(fascinating news possibly? )
I am still letting myself down on the soh front but work hassles don't leave much time/energy for men hassles atm
tho I dunno if you remember the Thai Farmer? (farmer with a thing for Thai women, originally enough) he still wants to meet and there is a v nice man I like on match but I am yet to fork up the subscription and go for it ...
so just a big hello for now

News let me think.

Lou is loved up with her mechanic, she has internet problems atm.

Some new posters trying internet dating.

Juicy still wears the cyber crown.

Ninah I'm not sure if you are still with your man, obviously not if you are in touch with farmer. Is it completely over or are you SOH with him?

I'm seeing someone atm that I have history with going back a long way. Just a few dates so far.

ninah are you going to meet thai farmer then?

thanks eve! just to be clear, is this the salesman?
I am not sure if I'm with him either tbh, he thinks I am but my eye is beginning to rove.
thai farmer is not online but friend of a friend and she is keen to get us together for drinks etc so I will go, why not? I don't know if I will be depressed or relieved if he has funny teeth, hair, or habits
these internet connection probs are so frustrating, it feels rude to disappear - I think it must be phone line related, I saw a van in the road today, and I have one coming out tomorrow. One of the many downsides of living in the sticks I suppose (tho not the case for lou i guess) - just maddening you realise how much you rely on it!

juicy I think I must because you must be getting a headache from the weight of that crown

Yes it's Salesman. Looking forward to seeing him tomorrow night so much so that I have booked Thursday as leave from work. I haven't told him yet.

ninah - you can have the crown. i have put it in the cupboard till i see whats hapening with the nz forces gentleman. hopefully find out his shifts tomorrow and then possibly booking my flights.

so i'll take it out the cupboard in send it by courier so it gets to you asap.

eve - i am really hoping you put the day off to good use

wow eve, I'm so glad you are seeing someone that makes you feel that way! how lovely
it's always the way when you are about to give up on dating, isn't it (she muses hopefully ..)
some nice men on this thread
have a lovely time - are you going out?

flights? what did I miss?? where?
ah send it to eve, I'll have a little wear when the weather is warmer and I have some nice sprightly dates gambolling about

ninah at summer dates and gambolling

re flights - forces gentleman. thinking of going over to where he's based.