weather is en extra shit for lps

[Unlikelyamazonian]

Snow and ice makes lone parents feel crap about themselves. We have no one to enjoy blitz spirit with, the house is fucking freezing as can't afford to put heating on, no time to build a family fucking snowman. Eevryone else is off being a family with their bloody tin tray sledges and hot muffins.

We lps should get extra tax credits in weather like this just for existing.

FWIW, UA, I totally understand where you're coming from and when another poster talked about life not turning out like you imagined.

I spend most of my time feeling guilty about everything (being a crap mum, feeling guilty for not working and felt guilty when I worked) and a lot of the time I feel like we aren't a proper family.

I've been on my own since 1995 (I have had relationships in that time but I've essentially done it all myself) and it's only in the last couple of years that I've come to terms with it (almost). For the most part I'm glad I'm single when I hear other women talking about their relationships. I've realised, finally, that I don't need a partner - I can do it alone. Also, after having a few bouts of serious depression, I have to force myself to think of the good things in my life. If I let myself think of the bad things I would go downhill fast and I can't let that happen again. I'm thankful that, for whatever reason, I've been able to get through the odd bout of black dog. Funnily enough, it's since I stopped trying to find a partner and be a proper family that I've stopped being so depressed!

I hope things get better for you. This time of year is shit and it feels like it will be winter for ever. I also feel like this will be my year! I've got plans [twirls moustache mysteriously]

Meglet/Janos

That was my original thought. UA wanted support and what got my goat was the complete bitchiness from silly women who think just because they are married that they have the right to rub other people's noses in it.

When I was younger, way younger I too subscribed to the notion that the Daily Mail peddles that two married parents are better than one. That compromise and understanding were the secrets to a happy & fulfilling marriage and therefore life. That single mum's were sponges on society who needed to go and get a job and stop moaning.

Then you know what.....I became a single dad through no fault of my own. Then as I met others, I realised that hey not one person felt they had a choice. Not one person thought "hey, being a single parent sounds pretty cool!" However we arrived here, we did it because it was the lesser of the two evils.

I could show off about my life. Trust me I have a lot to be proud of. In fact technically I'm not a lone parent anymore but I don't hang around these forums because I want to rub others nose in it. I do it because I hope the harsh lessons and tips I've learned along the way will help others when they need support like others supported me when I was low.

The one big difference I've found with this weather is not having anyone to share the care when school is shut. I can't just stay at home and wait for the road conditions to improve. I have to go to work which means 7am calls trying to find someone who can have ds for the day. If I were married I might also be making those calls but more likely I would be discussing with dh whose turn it would be to stay at home with the dcs.

To RebeccaR - I didn't deliberately have a child with a 'fuckwit'. He wasn't a fuckwit for the 11 years we knew each other he just turned into one when ds was born. Couldn't have predicted that in any way.

As for married people whose dh/dw are out for the day or away for a few days, it really isn't the same as being a lp. You will make all your life decisions together and you share the good and bad times. Lps have to deal with the good and the bad totally alone.

Totally differnt being an LP and married/staying together, even if they are away all day/evening, you know someone is eventually going to be there for you to moan at/talk to/give advice etc.

When your a LP you know there isn't going to be anyone for days on end. You go to bed, you get up, nothings changed, no-ones had a chat with you about things, gave you a hug, had a laugh etc.

Toddlers especially harder in my experience, as demand constant attention.

It can be desolate and I think this time of year certainly compounds that along with the horrendous weather.

On the upside, you've not got some bloody waster sucking the energy from you.

I've been both a LP and now live with someone, guess which I prefer (which is probably why I still read these threads).

Did you say your in ED UA? Im on the west coast and the ground started to defrost here today, so hopefully you won't be to far behind and you'll be able to get out!

Hello UA, Molly, Spotty and others, single parent here of a grown-up daughter, did it all alone, totally, no financial support whatsoever, still working my ass off to try and pay the bills. I have immense respect and admiration for all of us and only we know how strong we are because we're experiencing it/have experienced it. We could always have walked away like the dads but we're worth more than that. So only listen to those who truly understand and know that you are not alone.

At last someone who knows how frecking hard it has been to manage in this weather. Things were bad enough when I was driving on ice to collect other children for work at 6.45 in the morning........Next the car breaks down and I had to have time off, get a hire car and get myself back to work for a few days. And yes its been hard to get around with a toddler, do school runs and everything else we have to do in this bloody weather lol. But sometimes I think the hardest thing is no one to talk about all the crap that you are going through just to get it off your chest and move on. So sorry if you have to read my moaning but I too agree that the weather has put alot of extra hardwork our way........So please hurry up Spring !!!

I'm desperate for the Big Melt. Uni was closed today, so I took baby boy to the park to see the ducks walking about on the ice. Very amusing for him. Bloody nightmare pushing his chair through the thick slush for me!

As for RR and her nonsense. All I can say is - I read the LP board because I am one, and so it has relevance to me. What she's doing wasting her time reading and responding to our thoughts is telling me a lot more about her, and the state of her life, than it is about me or any of the other LPs on here.

Oh Lindsay stop the ranting, you twit. I saw the OP and felt sympathy for her and read the thread, cringed at the married woman who said she had the bubbly on ice for her husband, and then I responded to O123's question.

I got some foul-mouthed abuse and wasn't going to add anything more to this thread but I see you are still ranting on about me and making assumptions about my life.

Just to satisfy your curiosity, I've been married for nearly 20 years and we have weathered the storms together, have one gorgeous DD and work as a teacher. I don't take anything for granted as my father was widowed quite young and I know how quickly and tragically one's life can be turned upside down.

Rabbit, lest we forget, I refer you to your post earlier in which you wondered "why so many women on this board chose to have one or more children with "fuckwits" (their description, not mine?)"

It's a conundrum

Lindsay : Your "fing b*es" comment? Was that aimed at all married parents who read and post on this forum/thread? Because I am married, I posted (a not particularly negative reply, IMO) yet feel like I'm being called an f'ing B. Thank you. You appear as guilty of generalising married parents as they are being accused of generalising single parents.

And perhaps married parents read and post on this forum for similar reasons to why some single parents read and post on the Step-parents forum. Some to gloat and boost their ego ... some because they might have some insight into a situation, some advice or just sometimes, a view from the "other side of the fence" comes in handy.

I am married and a step-parent. I read this forum for a few reasons. One to check if anyone is asking for any advice regarding the CSA because I know quite a bit about them. Another because it's useful when it comes to gauging single parent's opinions regarding contact with children and the NRP's. I like to get an idea of how my step-daughter's Mother might be feeling or thinking so we can take it into consideration. And it has helped us a lot already.

It's not only the "smug married" who post on a forum which they don't "belong" to. If I have a query about a "step parenting" issue ... I find a single parent's opinion helpful, personally.

I also cringed massively at the "champagne" comment.

No, my comment is aimed at people who come to a support forum, and instead of either posting something nice, or just moving on, take the opportunity to make nasty, mean, insulting comments to someone who is feeling low and having a tough time.

If you kick people when they're already down, then you're a bitch. If you're married, then you're married. Of course I don't equate the two, that would be absurd.

I'm not suggesting for a moment that you should only post in a forum which directly relates to your circumstances, that would be bonkers. I'm saying, if you want a rough-and-tumble, go to AIBU? If you read someone breaking their heart, try to be nice, or get called a bitch.

I think that's fair, and from what you said about the champagne thing, I think you do too.

Sorry if it wasn't clear before, but I was really annoyed with the pecking party that was taking place at the expense of a woman who is clearly at the end of her tether.

Sorry OP, but when I read that the R had fallen off your keyboard, I laughed

But I know what you mean. I get furious when I see dads out sledging with their children - my ex is too selfish to do that.

RebeccaRabbit, lets just hope that you're lucky enough never to find out why women have children with fuckwits.