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Where have all the men gone? thread 14

1000 replies

ninah · 27/10/2009 20:21

it won't accept any more messages ladies. As you can see I decided it was time to get less picky.
Lou, I hope you didn't leave your phillips

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lou33 · 12/11/2009 21:49

im happy enough sitting here with a bottle of beer and rubbish in telly

just had a convo with lb but he had to go suddenly, he will call back if he can

he is still at his workshop, and going to be working right through the weekend

i am making no plans

notevenamousie · 13/11/2009 05:45

Hi everyone

belle, how are you doing? Thinking of you.

BF gets back from working away again today, but DD and I are away at my mum's til Sunday so I won't see him til Monday. That'll be 8 days - I am like a lovesick teenager!

thesouthsbelle · 13/11/2009 12:14

will survive,

he's still trying to mess with my head. still not to worry.

passmyglassplease · 13/11/2009 12:39

afternoon all, just checking in hope you are all well?

can I have your honest opinions on a subject that is causing me much grief?

the matrimonial car!

ex says he should be able to use it when he has the kids, leaving me to get around on public transport and not really able to go anywhere when I do have a weekend off.

nm, says I should just tell him (the ex) NO and let him deal with it.

your opions please
ta

lou33 · 13/11/2009 14:06

tell him NO

belle, why dont you just get rid of any way he can contact you, otherwise you are allowing him to mess with your head?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 14:28

hi pmg!
long time no hear!
that means life's pretty good then lol
this is def.for exh to sort out it's not your prob.
why not take him off the insurance then he def.can't use your car
belle how are you feeling today?

passmyglassplease · 13/11/2009 14:52

thats why I love you ladies, always direct and to the point

the worst thing is he will send me on a guilt trip!

but I will have to put my foot down wont I?

I am scared of being considered a bad person for not letting him have it, I am such a wimp

lou33 · 13/11/2009 14:57

tell him to talk to someone who cares

honestly why on earth should he expect you to deal with his issue of no transport?!

exh has recently started seeing our kids on a sunday afternoon, and has no car, so i just drop them to his and collect them afterwards

how he decides to plan the day or get about inbetween is up to him

he did once try and hint i should let him have the car , but i just said no i needed it for where i was going (plus he has no insurance and he isnt going on mine)

make sure he isnt on your insurance as well, as already suggested

lou33 · 13/11/2009 14:58

also, i may be going to see lb again on sunday, but it isnt certain yet

(depends how many hours he has to put in at work this weekend)

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 15:39

i used to feel that i would be seen as a complete cow if i wasn't amenable to exh's ideas so i fully understand where you're coming from on this
but i just stand up to him now
haven't had the proper xmas chat yet tho,did broach it but it appears to have fallen on deaf ears
will be having it with him this w/e tho
what are you doing about your xmas plans with the dcs?and is mm part of them?!
lou that sounds good,always nice to have something to look forward to,meant to ask you did you give your feedback to philips

lou33 · 13/11/2009 15:45

i did asbm, did you not see the thread?

lou33 · 13/11/2009 15:47

it's here

i am shameless enough to not change my name on there so am easily spotted

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 17:05

hey good stuff!
thats my fri nite entertainment sorted out then-best get some vino and nibbles in

lou33 · 13/11/2009 17:40
Grin
Janos · 13/11/2009 17:58

Hello there you lovely lot.

Well it's been another unbelievably hectic week and I'm being so bad at keeping up contact . Just back from work after heaving 14kg worth of cardboard box up 4 flights of stairs for my imminent move. Well hey, I need the exercise.

belle hope you don't mind me shoving my oar in here but I've read your posts and can see you are feeling down. Gymboy sounds like a prize cunt. I realise that sounds rather harsh but his behaviour is right out of order.

Now to overshare!

I had a similar 'to do' with my now and forever exbf. He instigated getting back together (end of August-ish) and was coming out with stuff along the lines of 'Oh, lets take 'DS' out somewhere together', 'I really want to go on holiday with you', 'I just love being with you' and (clincher), 'I always hoped things would work out between us'. Suffice to say there had been issues before which led to the end of the relationship. Detailed on previous single threads which I'm sure you could find if you wanted

Well, more fool me and hmming and soul seraching and what have you, and after lots of lovely thoughtful behaviour on his part which made me think he was making a real effort to change I thought 'yes, give it another go'. At this point his behaviour just changed. Not that I announced 'Hey we are now officially back in a proper relationship now' but somehow it did.

Anyway after a week of this 'behaviour', after I quite reasonably demanded to know what was he playing at acting the twat, he announced 'I just don't feel I can be in a relationship right now'.

I was incredibly hurt and bloody furious (with him, also myself - but MAINLY him) that I had given him another chance and allowed this to happen. He was bleating away in the backgorund about how he still wanted to see me - the fucking NERVE!!!! I told him exactly what I thought of him, not politely either, and told him never to contact me again. And, well, I haven't heard from the spineless tosser since.

Blimey that's become a bit of a rant and all about me which was not what I really intended but just want to say well we are all guilty of making excuses for bad behaviour where men are concerned. I know I have been and did and really identify with how you are feeling.

You know what? You are worth SO much more than this loser (he is a loser) can give. Don't let him dictate how you feel. And remember your lovely DS loves unconditionally.

After reading back I am not sure what the point of that is at all but just wanted to offer some heartfelt support and solidarity.

Janos · 13/11/2009 18:03

Oh passmyglass - seen your posts about the XH.

Sound advice from asbm and lou. His lack is transport is not YOUR problem. He can suck it up.

Also understand where you are coming from as I used to always try and bend over backwards to accomodate XP (yuck no not in that way lol...well YKWIM)so people didn't think I was a cow.

Now, I don't care.

Janos · 13/11/2009 18:05

And, may I also say congratulations to all proud mums of clever DCs. It's down to you.

Now will stop posting as beginning to sound a leetle bit odd

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 19:11

fab posts there janos
yay!love it when we all tell these tossers exactly how it is

lou33 · 13/11/2009 20:27

i tink you summed it up perfectly when you called him a cunt tbh, janos

Betty79 · 13/11/2009 20:45

u ladies are great at advice, I'm far too 'nice' with my words lol

anyway I agree with others belle, I hope ur ok and u've kicked him to touch once and for all

pmg-My old car was matrimonial car for a while, but i wudnt have give it to dh whether he thought i shud or not, he shud make arrangements if he needs a car. I changed mine to save any hassle

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 21:25

betty what's the latest with you?

Betty79 · 13/11/2009 21:42

Not much tbh, still chatting to 2 blokes from pof, been on date with one and he was nice but there wasnt that 'spark' but he is a nice bloke and the other one lives a lot nearer, well 10 mins away and have arranged to meet him next tues but have a feeling he might cancel cos have talked to him yesterday and he has a lot going on so we'll see! Just had a few messages from pof off a fireman too

aseriouslyblondemoment · 13/11/2009 21:44

oooh
have a bit of a soft spot for the emergency services lol

Betty79 · 13/11/2009 22:07

lol me too

Janos · 13/11/2009 22:18

Betty, normally I'm a gentle and easygoing soul (honestly) but by god that eejit tripped my angry switch. Have fun with the firemen

lou - yes, you're right he is a cunt. Not sure which one you're referring to. Let's just say they both are. Hope things are still on the up and up with lb.

asbm - I like a good rant now and then.

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