Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part 12a

[lou33]

seeing as there has been discussion about using 13

(not that it bothers me)

i feel sorry for myself my back is still playing up, and i just tripped and made it hurt in the usual lower back place

thats a shame juicy, you sounds pretty upbeat about it tho

Juicy

He sounds mature and maybe when he realises what he's said he'll think differently as in he wouldn't want to lose you.

Have a day off work to spend with dcs today, so far I have scrubbed bathroom and kitchen (incl fridge), done two washes, ds is going skateboarding and dd is on the train to go shopping with her mates!

Am going shopping by myself. Gawd the joys of teenagers. Hmph.

monty - wasn't his choice though. was me who finished it as dont want to be settled for or have him thinking i should feel grateful he's not gone off.

iykwim.

even if he didn't feel that way. i would always be thinking he did.

my decision is finally made today. if XH goes to afgan (as proposed next year) I need to know I can rely on him 100%, and then he would step into the 'parenting' role. not gonna happen really is it!

Sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you. You seem OK about it.

You will find that the DC's always come first and anyone who isn't 100% comfortable with it should be shown the door.

everyone is entitled to their own personal goals and dreams. his personal goals is the nuclear family. i.e mum, dad, possibly kids(their kids)

i cant change it. nor do i want to. we just aren't to be. no point bothering about it tbh.had fun while it lasted.

im sorry it ended juice, but i can totally see what you mean , and why you did it

i think i would be the same

belle, please just get rid of this useless piece of moving flesh

he isnt going to change, your feelings are wasted on him

have to give credit to him for being honest with you here rj as let's face it most men can't be
but totally understand where you're coming from on finding out his feelings re:another man' dcs
if i'm totally honest i wouldn't want to take on someone else's dc/s but maybe this is a woman thing?
as we said earlier he will find it difficult to meet a woman without dc/s in this day and age and this is something which he'll prob.realise at some point in the future

but like you said 'it was fun while it lasted'
and it's a decision that you've reached because you feel comfortable with it
so onwards and upwards i say
belle hope you're good and i promise that i won't lecture you BUT you know what you need to do here lady...

rj I do think he's being over prescriptive to say he wants the nuclear thing you know
Do we choose partners to a set pattern? or do we meet someone and want to be with them as they are - it's all very well having an 'ideal' scenario - 'ideally' I'd like a nice big house a cleaner and a ironer, but hey - I think I want those thing but actually I am liking reality a lot and wouldn't want the pressure of a huge mortgage or tidying up for a cleaner
I'd hope it was a bit of both - some love and acceptance, some practicality - I don't know the answer, but I understand where you are coming from
Are you sure you aren't doing your runner thing because you like him?

ninah has a point RJ - at least that's where my logic is at right now.

blondie - yes I know what I need to do, have come home to nothing from him (but then again thou my inbox was full and it takes a while to update - still haven't had the text my friend said she sent me from this am either) so possibly - doubtful but possibly.

am now 99.9% on my decision. it comes down to the fact that XH goes away, and I don't need more hassle. I need support.

sombre thread this one has become - 3 break downs/ups.

where's our successes??

ninah - i am 100% doing a runner before i get hurt. i simply do not want to chance getting involved when i already know he's going to put me through an upheaval when going gets to serious point.

i know from my dating i've done in the past year. there are men out there who are willing to throw themselves fully into a relationship with me and my dc just because they will do whatever reuiqred to be with me. and i have had to battle to keep them seperate.

i want one of those. not someone i have to drag into a family situ by scruff of neck.

i chose fun to see where it went. it doesn't look to be going anywhere past fun.

backing you all the way here...if anyone knows what's right/wrong it's you

me.... i'm bloody crap at this. lol.

i'm saying that not only because you are the best person to decide what you want
BUT
also as you've said yourself you've learnt an awful lot in this past year
a positive all round i'd say!

i am still seeing lb if that changes the glum mood of the thread?

rj - do you want more than you let on to yourself that you want? I'm sorry it's over, but glad you are ok and have a night out to look forward to.

I will not be 'loved up' and gushy - but honestly, I think you are such a lovely group of ladies, you have done a great deal for me, and if I can find someone decent, kind, and is a gentleman, given all my various issues, then I am certain that you can.

Can I start the new thread, can I can I????

lol. mousie. on you go and start the new thread. and i will answer on the new thread.

ahy come on mousie...

but there is always a risk rj whenever things go deeper
dc, no dc - whatever
price of love is loss etc
don't we all have to take a risk at some level?
but like asbm says, you know better than anyone ... you are incredibly sorted, just wanted to say what was on my mind as you have always done for me
success? blimey, we have asbm, itm, mousie, lou sparky ... a long haul hols booked ... and some wise and lovely types who won't be alone long (rj, belle, scl) .. some like me who have learnt a lot and pick nice men not bastards even if they can't keep them yet
must admit the friendship after Big Talk thing does tend to come with an expiry date on, I am thinking in the New Year I will def feel a lot better about it all and start to branch out again

i am not sure mine could count as a success seeing as i only started seeing him in august, but it is still continuing

we even discussed him coming to stay for a day or 2 after xmas, last night

Evening all.

RJ - I realise it was a choice of your making, a very dignified thing to do. I'm just hoping he comes back having realised he wants you dcs and all. If he doesn't then you did the right thing.

you seem really happy lou, that's success in my book
two days, huh? next thing he will leave a spare toothbrush

yes totally agree with dignified
thing is I'm getting the picture that even if he pleaded undying love for rj and dc it would stick in her mind that he'd said 'nuclear' first
he only had an hour to think rj ... for a man that's v short

lol

seeing as i usually go to his, i can admit to the fact that i have left a few things there for the sake of convenience of course