morning all,
well back to single life for me.
split with bf.
had the chat last night about whether or not he could consider anything in long term with someone with kids.
i'm his first relationship with someone with kids.
he took an hour and come back to me. admits his ideal would be someone without dc. although he was willing to see what happens with us, i'm not willing to be always wondering if he's watching over his shoulder for someone without dc.
he wants to be friends. dont think i can be tbh. i'm a bit crap at staying friends. doubt i'll even speak to him again. he has a PS3 game i left at his which i've asked him to post rather than bringing over
and odd thing is i really am not fussed. as much as he was great. i always felt this one going to be incredible fun, but very unrealistic to make a lasting relationship.
and i wanted out before there was any feelings involved.
and belle - take note, he feels awful that the truth is shallow that he wants the nuclear family thing of living with someone and his kids only, not another mans kids. but he doesn't shift the blame, or make me feel bad in anyway. he takes full responsibility, and really wishes things were different. it was me who broached subject, and he knows he could have stringed me along for months or even years as we get on incredibly well. and then it would have been an awful wrench. we're both aware he could have made the right noises about trying and seeing what happens.
and who knows, maybe he would have come to accept it.
but the point is... i would know.. i would not be his "ideal" scenario. and i'd always feel 2nd best.
so i've finished it.
and i'm fine this morning.
felt much worse when finished things with beachbum.