Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

Thanks lou. I agree, not sure why it's bothered me so much as I'm no stranger to sleazy suggestions and would normally laugh it off!

SCL - I'd find that frustrating. I'd be thinking make your mind up fgs.

scl - shame about exbf, but we've been over this before. think its time to remove evey single phone number for him you have in drawers and phones!!

part of me thinks the reason you hold back for samename is because of this unfinished business with exbf.

asbm - hurry up and get out of the crook of actionmans arm for an update.lol.

eve - you may be onto something. one of my friends says i'm starting to get too fussy. she's pointed out he's good looking, tall enough (just ), extremely fit (ran 4 marathons so far), decent bloke who can hold a convo easily, intelligent (insurance broker who's recently changed to copper), has 3yo dd so completely understands the issues surrounding kids... and stays about 1.5mile away.

my friend thinks i'm a classic case of finding a fault(no matter how ridiculous) in any decent bloke.... and i am still stuck in the cycle of getting involved with arseholes who are emotional wrecks deep down.

i have been told , infact i have been demanded i give the copper a proper try, and stop messing around with other guys who are hopeless cases (BigT is prime example)

he text last night after he left. but not heard from him today yet.... etiquette states i gotta wait here i think? lol. this is obviously the more old fashionned courtship.

haha.

ninah - we were only kissing. promise... i kept my hands firmly above his waist... anyway.. have af so couldn't do anything. but he obviously thought i wanted more .... think i just give out vibes of a wanton hussy sometimes. lol.

janos - i want more details. lol

copper sounds nice - respect to a guy that will wait

RJ think I might have this syndrome too

Happy Birthday Eve

Lou - know the feeling when you just want them to go

sorry I know I am boring everyone with exbf. I can't work it out myself why I am like this tbh

Janos - ugh what happens between consenting adults is one thing but to have it put on the internet. Oh no! But Lou's right it's him not you.

rj

I think I have that problem too!

So are you going to give copper a go? Agree you should wait to hear from him.

The pervy request came from The Doc and tbh it has uncharacteristically knocked me for six and made me think what the hell am I doing and what do I want?

Canada Man ( hereafter referred to as CM2) has been giving me lots of chat about how he has such strong feelings for me and misses me - but it's easy to say that from a distance isn't it? And all this is based purely on a fling that happened more than 18 months ago. I suspect infatuation more than anything else tbh.

Also Construction Man (CM1)has been giving me the big come on but I'm determined to resist that as I know if I do anything I will feel bad about myself because of current situ and also he's very charming I suspect he's not very, um, stable.

janos - yeah, hard to resist the emotional train wrecks when they are being all charming and nice, but thats half the reason they are emotional wrecks isn't it. they get completely obssessed from far too early in.... anyone who's got the full picnic takes their time and develops feelings that are real.

i often find men with addictive personalities suffer this badly. they get hooked on the thrill of new meet.... but thats the problem, they like the new meeting part and are useless are being in a committed relationship.

trouble is if you follow the pattern of dating these kind of me.... you get used to the constant attention and excitement of the honeymoon period.you want all new relationships to be like this.

so when you meet an emotionally stable guy who doesn't need to be contacting you 24/7 then you feel like he's not interested... when he is.

i've definately followed this. and its only now am i starting to see the error in my thinking.

i really must break this cycle.... i have done it before. but always end up going back again... think the problem is finding someone who's not a train wreck... yet doesn't bore me.

scl - it's not boring. I think these things need to be talked out!

kind of men.. and many other spelling mistakes

rj - "i often find men with addictive personalities suffer this badly. they get hooked on the thrill of new meet.... but thats the problem, they like the new meeting part and are useless are being in a committed relationship."

That descibes CM1 to a tee. I think his current behaviour has been sparked by me saying no. Hence the 'chasing' trigger.

I'm also starting to ask if I'm a bit like this tbh?

Part of the problem is I find all the attention hugely flattering.

Blimey that's a bit navel-gazey for me! And all because of some pervy doc!

We were going to go out to soft play but DS has been behaving quite badly so I've put the kibosh on it.

LOL rj I knew what you meant.

Think DS needs to let off some steam and run about so perhaps a trip to the local park as it's not raining. He's currently having time out in his room.

Janos, what is it about doc's? they can be seriously pervy.

RJ sounds like you are analysing correctly which is a good thing. Wait to hear from copper and take it from there even if it is slowly at first.

SCL try and move on if you can or send exbf a serious text message to instigate closure. I think it's important or you will always be looking at it with rose tinted glasses.

FWB has actually bothered to get in touch. It wasn't with birthday greetings, it was more an essay as to why we couldn't make a go of it. Read it in front of 4 friends over a coffee earlier, they must have been able to tell it wasn't a nice text as I went oh so quiet.

Text back to say thanks and reminded him it was my bday. Fed up being used, at least I know where I stand.

eve
what was the reason(s) then? lousy timing too
rj some wise words! I think I have that prob too - the fault finding one - and the one about being drawn to train wrecks (for now I am sticking with train spotter)
scl agree that your feelings for ex must be hholding you back from anything new, I'd cut all contact if I were you
Must confess to still having a twinge of regret about mess exp and I made of it but only cos I have to see him for handovers etc, if I did not have dc with him and did not have to see him it would be a lot easier to let go, maybe you just need to go cold turkey cos it's not making you happy, is it?

Him wanting more kids eventually. Excuses, excuses. lol

so.. heard from copper. and he says he's keen to meet again. i've just to tell him soon as i get some free time this week as he's on hols from work.

bit hectic this week.dd birthday on thurs.various different parties and meet up due to it.

BigT is working about 3 mile from me today. has taken all my will power not to suggest he pops over. really think i must not have much more to do with this huffy creature. but.. moth to a flame springs to mind.

and dd has developed chicken pox. just in time to break out in full force for her birthdasy as she's just got her first one today. aww bless its one for the photo album.

oh and she fell over and smashed her face off the mirrored units we have in exp house. has some pretty amazing bruises to her face and red angry marks due to it being glass edged. very lucky not smashed.

eve - bit shitty of ex to do it that way and not even mention birthday. what a thoughtless thing to do

Hi all, have been hectic the past few days so will have a read and see what the lowdown is with you ladies

Hope you all had a good weekend. I have spent much of it with nm. We were hopelessly boring and ordinary on Saturday-we went to his local library so he could enrol and he helped me with my shopping at tescos! Hot stuff or what!!

He really makes himself at home when he comes round although not in a cheeky or intrusive way. It just adds to the fact that neither of us feel the need to be out and about all the time when we are together which is good for me because although I like going out I'm very much a homebird too.

Had a very brief meeting with exhb (soon2be) today. I asked him to meet to get him to sign some papers re the divorce and he was not a happy bunny....in a nutshell he doesn't like the fact I am stating he is paying no maintenance currently (he hasn't worked for past 4 months) and I simply replied it wasn't advisable to be dishonest on legal papers and I wasn't going to out of my way to soothe his conscience!

After a few dirty looks and a scowl he signed on the dotted line, flicked the pen at me and left.....poor bastard. truth hurts, doesn't it? Loser.

Oh eve what a shitty thing for FWB to do. On your birthday as well

I have meeting with sols tomorrow after XP's latest unpleasantness, not looking forward to that.

Oh, and I also managed to nearly flood mine and downstairs neighbours kitchen after putting water on to do the dishes and then FORGETTING ABOUT IT sigh.

actually dollparts that sounds like a nice weekend.

TBH I could do with a nice bloke instead of the car crash types I usually attract. And, if I'm being honest, am attracted to. God I could prob keep a psychotherapist occupied like forever.

rj - sounds good with the copper. Shall keep my fingers crossed for you

evening everyone!
eve-that's pretty spineless of him to announce this by text, and tho you def know where you stand now his timing is pretty awful and to not even wish you a happy birthday as well.you don't deserve crap like this and you are well rid good sex or not.
janos-wouldn't have put doc down as the type but i guess it takes all sorts lol
rj-hmm a man who doesn't want to get his end away asap
lou-darkhorse?!
scl-do feel for you with the exbf situ i hope you eventually sort it one way or the other.
dp and ninah you're both sounding v v loved up
and me,well all's peachy lol

hey asbm - get ur asse on msn.

Glad to hear it's still going strong asbm. Also to DP and Ninah.

asbm long time no see!

I def agree that no sex, however good, is worth puttin up with that kind of shitty behaviour.

As for the doc well I guess dealing with human insides all day must have an effect on your mind. I'm really thinking he can go fiddle with someone else's insides now!

at inside fiddling.

darkhorse has been here but we are not back together

tbh i was glad he was here yesterday, i discovered some huge news about dd1 that floored me and him and my best mate were here talking it over with me

hes coming back next week to do some stuff about the house for me

and i have a brief date this evening with raf guy

was meant to be this afternoon but he has to cover for someone who s sick, so we are meeting later

That sounds major Lou, hope everything is ok with dd?

yes it isnt small stuff, tho she is not pg, it isnt th

Can I interrupt the thread and let off some much needed steam here please.

Just when I think my XP can't sink to new depths he manages it.

He has been telling our DS that its 'ok to wet your pants at mummies but not at Daddys'...I'm so ANGRY (this is the latest in a long line of manipulatibe behaviour from him).

ThinkI need a new sol too...aaargggh...STRESS.