Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

i find it is used by those with no manners

Am going to read up for ideas then!

darkhorse has pitched up unexpectedly this evening

asking to stay til tues

How do you feel about that Lou? I know he is handy around the house.

he is a nice guy and has been v good to me, and i have tried v hard to get back to being friends only, making it clear he isnt my bf, and it has been platonic for a while again now, esp from my pov

i do make it clear he isnt my bf, and have questioned why he likes being about so much, and he says he feels comfortable here, he likes spending time with me and my kids

but i also get the feeling he would still like it if anything more happened between us, from his behaviour

i cant though, you all know how shit i am at 2nd chances

right so what's been happening then?

MILF - I don't mind that phrase, actually I get all girlie and giggly over it lol. mostly cos I still can't believe as a mother anyone would find me attractive!

Lou - do you honestly thing dark horse would do the same thing again?

lucy - dj is an old old friend, and gymboy is from the gym (but I met him on match.com, then promptly started seeing him at the gym lol)

hf - good luck with biker boy, that's a good way to get up close and personal with him!

rj - no not 5th date only 3rd, but will hopefully be tuesday night. tbh i've always rushed in there with the whole dates at home thing, so i'm reluctant to do it again, esp having him over at mine. althou I could go and pick him up at his and we could go over the solent for a pizza or something - or drink as it's a tues b4 fat club. (we see each other at the gym but only really in passing sort of 15-20 mins here and there) as we do different things there, so i've not been counting that as dates. He will be meeting my aunty/uncle up there today (who I go with, and car pool with so us girls wait while uncle showers which is when I usually see him when i'm in the lobby & he's moving about iycwim)

sailor rang again y'day wanting to do something this coming week - left it saying i'd ring him. (so just won't ring tbh)

ninah - glad you've sorted things with nm.

can I ask what's bounty hunter?

off to the dinosours today with DS Yay!

morning south - bounty is a kind of red neck show where a guy "hunts" down people with warrant for arrest on them

also - i know what you mean about coming to yours. but you can go to his?? i find it easier to go to theirs than come to mine sometimes. plus i'm wanting out of the house.

out of interest as to what we have on this thread.... do you girls prefer staying in or continuing to go out on proper "dates" for every date then heading back for some ...

i mean once your at the stage of getting

i like the going places firstly... but i do so much rushing about and nights out with friennds i tend to slip very quickly into the routine of staying in chilling out. usually only going out if its a daytime date, or i have my monthly "illness"

sometimes i think i should make more of an effort to be wined and dined...... but i just cant be arsed going out every single time i see them... especially as i have to wait until dc in bed. so often dont meet till after 9pm by the time i'm ready and met up.

lou - i think your brain and feeling seem to be going in different directions with regards to darkhorse.

oh right yeah that sounds like a real good programme - no really!

yeah I don't mind going to his, but i'm so reluctant to get into the 'rut' I was in with XP- ie 3 nights a week - always the same nights. he'd come down and we'd do bugger all, then again we didn't do anything unless I paid for it as he wasn't working. So for now i'm keen to be wined and dined, as for getting some, I don't know what's the standard time scale these days? a few weeks/months??

does anyone else find the first time really really nerve racking?

eventually I would think that we could stop in and or go out. I know he's not short ot a bob or two, but don't want that to be an issue at all - talking of which how do you get around this bit? he told me last night the exact idea of his parents 'empire' which tbh is huge, so i don't want them/him thinking all I am is a single mum who's after his money - far far from it - i want his body! lol.

south - the amount of money you have shouldn't bother his folks..... if they have any brains they will see how you manage your money as a better indicator. if your holding down house and bills and not constantly tapping money or moaning your skint then that shows you are good with money. but they will worry if they find out your poor with cash as you may "squander" their empire one day if you end up being serious with their son (in-laws always imagine 20yrs in future before you've even had 3rd dte)

however..... they could be horrible and prejudice.... and nothing you say will change their opinion on single mothers.

i know what you mean about staying in being routine... beachbum is going on holiday in 2 weeks. i know he's supposed to be saving for his spends... and he mentionned he's saving a deposit for a new car after having to shell out for his that broke down..... he's good with his cash. has his own house and car and pays for thing, no debt, saves when he wants to buy things......

... but i did see him flinch when i mentionned i've seen a new car i want....not sure if it bothers him that i may possibly have higher disposable income, or if it bothers him i can simply say i fancy a new car and get one, and he sees this as wasting money.

thing is i've had BN cars since i was 17. pay them off by the time warranty is up..... trade in for a new one. yeah... i'm paying monthly for car since i was 17... but i've never paid a repair bill as under warranty yet. soon as they need a repair they are gone. would rather pay a steady monthly payment that get hit by a huge bill.

eve know what you mean about guilty for enjoying yourself ...
I'm with lou on milf - in your dreams 'young maaan'
rj your car philosophy sounds v sensible, I've always gone for old bangers (carwise!) but is stressful and prob not much in it £wise in the end. I'm liking beach bum.
going out? when I first met bf (yes, he's promoted!) we used to go out but soon we could barely leave the bedroom when we were child free. After a while we made the effort to go out again but were always in a rush to get back before I had to pick up my dc. He's since changed his pattern and we don't get so much adult time
I'm so happy the situation with our dc is making progress, I was sure it would be the deal breaker. I think it is good we could talk about it as it was kind of delicate. I am feeling v in lurve again atm.

I'm gonna mark my card here and say that I don't mind the phrase MILF. If anything it makes me laugh as it's usually used by silly men - but I can totally understand why some of you don't like it.

It's one of those different strokes things I think.

Anyway man news, I've been on a date and he was very nice although I wasn't blown away or anything. I think I'll see him again. This time I'm going to take things slowly!

Yes, I find the first blind date so nerve wracking that I don't actually go on them.

Chatting to a couple on POF, cannot be bothered to mention names as they arent all that. One has just moved into the area so I might meet up on a platonic basis as he lives where I work so it wouldn't be a date as such.

Still chatting to my sat nav boy, he did warn me what would happen at the 18th/21st. I met up with a friend that night whom I'm really fond of. He left early with his mum and kids, I was so dissapointed. Known him 16 yrs and I would go out with him no hesitation.

ninah - yeah and thing is i always tend to stay out of city centres where public transport is poor. so if i need a repair i'm stuck for travel or need to hang around till its fixed as cant get home. so being without my car is a real bugger.

but the good thing about staying out in the sticks is that its cheaper living costs... so i can afford to be paying a monthly HP payment.

good to hear things back on track with BF... but i defo think there's a choice between going out or actually having sex... as we single parents just dont have enough free time to do both in a night. especially when your up at silly oclock in the morning.

well he tried it on last night and i had to spend 30 mins telling him why it wasnt happening

hi again

Right - i have said yes to 3 dates..... god knows when im going to fit them in! LOL
Ive a totally childfree weekend, but its not for a few weeks...
would it be really bad to get them to wait that long ( i kind of think that if they arent happy to wait they arent worth meeting!) and is it really bad to have 3 dates over the course of 2 days? Cant see how else i can fit it in. Dont want to get family involved in babysitting at the momment ( and ive got plenty of family who will help with that) but just dont want to deal with the piss taking and 200 questions ill get from them......
any ideas?

i've done 2 on same day and think i did 3 over a wkd once.

because i too wait till i'm childfree for initial dates rather than get a babysitter.

excellent - im taking your advice as you seem to know what your talking about!
So its ok to do that....
I think its best to wait until im childfree.. then if i actually like them and want to go out again, thats when i can get a baby sitter..
right - so now i need to lose half stone, find something to wear and spend a few weeks getting all excited/nervous.
i have not been on a date since i was 20 ( im 31 next month!)
has anyone got any 'dating rules' or some advice so i dont totally make an idiot of myself? LOL

excellent - im taking your advice as you seem to know what your talking about!
So its ok to do that....
I think its best to wait until im childfree.. then if i actually like them and want to go out again, thats when i can get a baby sitter..
right - so now i need to lose half stone, find something to wear and spend a few weeks getting all excited/nervous.
i have not been on a date since i was 20 ( im 31 next month!)
has anyone got any 'dating rules' or some advice so i dont totally make an idiot of myself? LOL

dont follow my advice. i'm still single

only advice is.... your going on a date to enjoy company of someone new and interesting.

dont overthink it, dont expect anymore.

just have fun.

wear something comfortable

have back up plan to get out. like friend call if your date is a pschotic freak.

lou - how exhausting for you. I loathe being pestered for sex. It's really off putting and unplesant.

Nowt wrong with your advice rj!

And hi havingfun

I agree re childcare, I always go on dates when childfree and absolutely don't get a babysitter in specially (that could come later). Imagine if you paid for a babysitter and the evening was a complete washout? All that money for nothing.

Second advice about not expecting anything.

And please don't worry too much about that extra few pounds, men really don't care about that nearly as much as we think they do (IMO). In fact, I'd say they probably like it

HTH

do they not? im a size 14... so not huge, but not tiny either and im 5ft 3.. but will wear heels... please tell me this is ok? LOL

what do i wear? jeans, nice top, sexy shoes?

Im really thankful for the advice girls. Sure ill get a bit nervous before but am normally a real extrovert and very confident, so hopefully ill be ok?

well gonig over to samenames in a bit and will make him pay for forgetting my birthday . he asked me what I want to do - well as we have got only three hours and I am driviing - what do you think LOL

He will prob say I'm only after him for his body. Can't win can you? (maybe I am bit too clinical about things like this)

Will report back later.

scl - yes update if he remembers or not.

havingfun. i'm size 16. was 18-20 when i started dating again. doesn't make a difference.

for first date in daytime i recommend a pair of really great fitting jeans you love. staple black/white fitted t-shirt or vest. and some heels if you feel comfortable in them.

jazz up with some funky jewellery if thats your thing.

2nd date.... the rest of girls on here like to go for a wrap dress .... but they look hideous on me

nothing wrong with that scl!
I'm more of a jeans person than a wrap dress person I have to say, tho for my first date I wore a skirt and top and concentrated on getting my makeup right (ie wearing some for once)
havingitall you can road test several outfits that weekend if you are going for the hatrick!

oh I ve told him it was on Saturday so will be expecting a nice surprise when I get there.