Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

[lou33]

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

south - sport fuck is only possible if you are able to seperate your emotions from sex.

some people cant... and the 2 come part and parcels.

some

can still enjoy it no matter whether they're happy, sad, up down.

and it works if your clear from the start thats all it will be.

and it wont work if you are emotionally vulnerable or too quickly out of bad relationship.

best if been single for a while and enjoying being single but missing sex.

... but you have to be honest and not kid yourself on anything will happen with it... no fantasy of relationship.

it always ends as 1 person decides they want more.... if thats you it will mess you about to end it.

and always look as everytime you have sex with them as possibly the last time. as it very well could be.

but thats half the fun... you never quite know if you'll get a chance of it again. so make it a good one..... and only even contemplate it if they are shit hot in bed

oh.... and BigT is aka tigger. complicated but long story. dont want to post. short version of story is he has sole custody of his DD and workaholic.

but no worries there... he's pissed off in a huff again as i wouldn't stroke his ego last night.

no idea why he keeps asking me to be honest with him, when he clearly cant take the truth.finally dawned on him i'm not sitting around waiting by the phone, and he's not amused

good morning to all you lovely ladies

am back and lurking

inthemist - come on.. spill your list

at rj "only even contemplate it if they are shit hot in bed". Why else would you do it?

I am popping my head around the door now and then I am going to paint my bathroom. If you see me on here again before 8 pm tonight tell me to "f---- off & get on with the painting "

quick update... mr.verycynical is now bugging me. I am going to have to ignore him. He txt me asking me how I like to spend Sat nights last night, I replied ... silence... tumble weed... until 8.30 this morning when he apologised because he'd fallen asleep

Had lovely,lovely email from musicman. All the signs are that on paper we are actually perfect for each other but I have a feeling that if we meet there will be no spark... can't explain. We will see.

Had long chat with sweetguy last night and having drunk a bottle of wine in the course of the chat I was very flirty with him which even shocked me! He lives some distance from me which bothers me. I am not sure what it is he wants. Have a feeling it could be a 'oneoff' encounter which is, quite honestly, fine by me.

Lou, I understand why you are stressed about x esp as your dc's have the relationships they have with him. He was difficult enough to get out of your life in the first place. I hope you have lots of rl support? {{{}}} Do you still see Beety?

I know, I know, I am back already... BUT I have a date on Thurdsay night with someone I will call Poet .... Right I am off now...

winnie - yeah hey. a date. details on peot pls

I feel my list is short and vastly inferior to the other lists on here, but here goes any way!

Mr Emotionally Unavailable 4/10, he was a nice guy but just didn't do it for me in the sack

Mr Stand up (10)/10, this guy very nearly had me jacking the whole online dating thing in! Luckily asbm was on hand to offer wine and sympathy, and encouraged me to dip my toe again in the water

Bob the builder 5/10, his score would have been higher as he was good in the sack, unfortunately he had far to many issooos

Skippy 7/10, for a long time I thought this one was going in the right direction, an intellectual and fun with it. However he cancelled on me once and that was it for him! He has tried to get back in my good books, but I have other fish to fry!

Mr Sweat shop man, 2/10, a very brief flirtation, until I realised that he actually ran at the same club as me and that his girlfriend was really very nice!!!!!!!

Marathon man, aka nm 10/10, nuff said
One of those slow burners, that I thought it was a no go as he was crap at staying in touch! He is now a changed man and has a very active txt finger now

so 6 and you had a winner
4 ot of ur 6 had 5/10 or higher..... so more than half of your were good dating .

just realised i'm at 9 fella's

thank goodness most of them were just single dates and not so much as a kiss

hopefully with beachbum... crack a decent one before i get to number 10

fingers crossed for you rj

what happened to the farmer bloke, I thought he was going in the right direction for you?

RJ-disgraceful lol
hi itm
how was lovely dorset?
thought you'd like the muppet man list idea!
and what's the latest with your dcs and nm?
are you being pestered about bridesmaid dresses yet?
will be curious to see scl and janos list too
lou-
just carry on as you are that's the best 2 fingered response you can give
easier said than done i know..
winnie-info!
belle-RJ sums it up perfectly i think,but there's def a recent thread about this on relationships

Hi all - haven't been around much this weekend as was completely worn out on Friday night after driving for about two hours after work to pick up dcs. Traffic bad and then yesterday took ds2 to football training and then the girls and dcs round for a party drunken evening

My list since I split 3 years ago.

Napoli - a very handsome young Italian guy who I went on work trip with (in a group) - def a spark there but he had a gf though 'liked ldrs'

exbf (clooney) - the one that got away and still messing with my head - unfortunately text him twice last night (wine) but he is not answering at present. At best he got me back in the saddle after my crap marriage.

online since last July

the printer - had one date with him last July plus lots of emailing - nice sweet guy - had split after about 24 years of marriage but didn't do anything for me

Freaky - had one long (four hour) date with him - he said he had to leave his gf and move out of a house he owned because otherwise he would have turned into wife beater - aaargh. In RL did not look like his photo and didn't like his teeth. Cont

Samename2 - as soon as I saw his photo knew I wanted to get together with him and what for. After months (and I mean months) of texting we finally met up. Wow (my mate was right when she said he looked as though he'd be good in the sack ). Unfortunately there was no repeat performance - he lived t oo far away and was better in RL that online. Never mind eh!

The giant - we corresponded for a long time via MSN like him better online than in flesh. we had one disastrous date, we went halves on a pizza fgs, he bummed a cigarette of me and also a lift up a hill (by which time I was bordering on hysterical. We are still in touch and thankfully he has found a woman. Think he was actually desperate for a relationship but he's better as a friend.

Samename1 - as soon as I saw his photo too I knew I wanted to meet him - took us about three months to meet and we have been seeing each other since about April I think. He is a nice guy and we get on well and I don't feel angsty about him which is a change for me. I think though due to my history am always looking for warning signs (as my exh seemed entirely ok for about two years).

And he hasn't met dcs yet so we'll have to see how that goes. And he has left several of his things here (someone joked last night that he got his feet under the table!!!)

seeing it written down makes me realise how far I have come since I split with ex as my self esteem and body image was on the floor.

Sorry meant at worst he got me back in the saddle - also made me realise how things can be when you really really click with someone.

Hi, had a night out last night. It was great to catch up with friends but other than that boring. No-one interesting around.

Agree about the sport f--k. It usually ends with one party wanting more as with me and FWB. It was all on this terms i.e when he was in the area, although he did invite me to visit him abroad and go to his place in England. When I asked for more he didn't want to know.

I would start something like this again with someone else though as I really cannot see me meeting a long term partner now. I've been single far too long to expect it to happen. Therefore I just want to have some fun whilst I've still got the urge.

all it means is he will be closer to harass me and get away with it again

i still remember how bad it was last time he was local

of course i know in theory it will be good for the kids, but he will make my life a misery

and i have barely any rl support

scl - you had another winner on your 7th fella by looks of it..... but we need your marks out of 10 so we can see how many were arses and how many good dating experience.

inthemist. - BigT/Tigger/Farmer all same... i know i have choopped and changed his name. sorry. bit confusing.

eve - that kind of thing works perfectly well for some. if you particularly enjoy your freedom of single life then stick with this method.

Lou I am happier when exh is out of the country. Sorry to hear he is moving back.

Marks out of 10

Napoli - 6 for his company on the trip

Exbf - 9 as far as I am concerned he is my perfect fit - physically and mentally

The Printer - 3

Freaky - 2

Samename2 - 7 for his technique and fanciability

The Giant - 5

Samename 1 - 7 but may go up in due course LOL

scl - 5 out of your 7 have 5/10+.... so again a good portion were good dating experience.

you know something ladies........... i know we perhaps have a giggle and remember mostly the nutters or freaks...... but looking at the statistics...... we have had far more good dating experience than bad.

yes you're right rj.

At the beginning and esp after the split from exh I honestly thought that would never date let alone have sex again.

scl, I think that is how I feel! Can just about imagine going on a date again but as for the ever having sex...

Can't decide about the date on Thursday his profile has made me laugh out loud but he is not physically my type and ... I think he may be psychotic

Have decided to delete mr.verycynicals number from my phone it is all too close to home (have concerns I may actually work with his children how weird is that?) Also, he just seems a bit dim (harsh but true). He doesn't have much in the way of manners, I can't see that we have anything in common and he seems to be looking for someone to fill his whole life!

As said previously this is one hell of a learning curve.

Haven't heard from the musicman or sweetguy today... probably they have lives (which is a good thing). Although I think the drunken flirting may have put sweetguy off

Have just had a message from a 21 year old!

but when it came to it it was absolutely fine.

For the first eight months after the split (in August 06) I was just focusing on settling dcs in to house (we moved twice within six months).

I also worked on getting better body image, went to a Paul McKenna seminar and also general positive self talk about myself and also getting myself mentally ready for a flirtation.

I do remember being really anti online dating at first and scolling through thinking they were all monsters/similar looking but in hindsight I just wasn't ready.

So actually didn't seriously go online till about June last year.

How much is that age gap Winnie? Question is is he a sexy 21 year old or not. lol

how long have you been split from exh/p winnie?