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Original poster

Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

1000 replies

lou33 · 21/07/2009 20:36

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

OP posts:
ninah · 03/08/2009 17:08

oh asbm! we had exactly that conversation too! I asked him how much can you take?? he said he wouldn't give up but he is finding it difficult I know esp when his dc are junior boffins
and I am not seeing him again til weekend meanwhile the rudeness goes on ...
what's MIA?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/08/2009 17:28

snap lol
MIA is missing in action!
and god i soo wish i was
and yep,not seeing him either til next week due to work
am glad that your bf is supportive and decent about it all,but god isn't it just so mortifying having your child behave this way?
how is ds'relationship with his dad?

dollparts · 03/08/2009 17:29

MIA= missing in action !

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/08/2009 17:32

meant to say dp that the london zoo visit sounds like a good one
nice and relaxed and fun
does nm have much experience of children?
and should i stress little girls?

ninah · 03/08/2009 18:18

mia, ok thanks!
Yes it is horrifying to see your dc behaving this way
ds relationship with dad is confined to outings treats and holidays, hence pretty idyllic. I'll brief him on behaviour issues, but don't expect too much in the way of support tbh

Original poster
lou33 · 03/08/2009 18:42

dd1 just messaged her dad to say please dont contact her as she gets stressed by his contact

but he doesnt seem to understand because he just replied saying to get in touch if she needed a chat

OP posts:
sincitylover · 03/08/2009 19:11

just to report that ds1 and ds2 have just spent several hours in the woods with two of ds1s mates playing cricket with me supervising at a distance. Impeccable behaviour.

I think they kick off and push boundaries as asbm says. Dread introducing mine and as you know its def an issue for exh and his newp.

ninah · 03/08/2009 19:21

Good to see that scl! it is so lovely to see them happy and getting on
Have total sympathy with you - a judgemental ex and gf would about finish me off!

winnie09 · 03/08/2009 20:39

oh Lou, what is wrong with him? Poor you. Poor dd1.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/08/2009 21:06

lol if he's anything like my ex he'd love it
tho like the rest of us we just get on with it don't we?
am sick of exh getting her to call me on my weekends off begging to come home,am always worried about her but am also hugely pissed off that what precious child free 'me time' i have is still taken up with this
as i say wouldn't blame nm for running away i'm either dealing with shite while i have her and he's round
or
being obv preoccupied when shes with her dad
lou-words fail me
scl-are we putting you off that meeting with your boys and samename?

dollparts · 03/08/2009 21:08

I was just reading through todays posts and saw a comment about London Zoo. 'oh I thought, 'someone else is thinking of going there' then I realised asbm, you were referring to me! Perhaps I should be asbm pt 2

Anyway, nm doesn't have much experience with children-he has a brother and neither of them have kids. However he doesn't seem fazed at all at the prospect of meeting her-actually said he was really looking forward to meeting her as he has heard so much about her. tbh I think his attitude is that he has known about her from the beginning ergo knew she would be part of any package. He seems to be greatful for honesty and respects my willingness to be completely open with him.

As far as dd is concerned I don't have any worries so far. I'm not planning on introducing him in any kind of formal way, just going to tell her that mummy's friend is coming along. She's a very confident character (think hannah montanna when she was 5)

Turns out they broke the ice today....I was in the kitchen cooking and didn't hear my phone ringing. dd answered and when I walked in the room was lying on sofa having a good old chat with him! She was asking him if he was my friend and asked him of he had seen high school musical!

When I took the phone he was really laughing telling me how many questions she asked him! They was only on the phone for a minute but at least he knows what he can expect at the weekend

ninah · 04/08/2009 09:47

dollparts what a lovely story!
I have decided I am getting far too serious about nm and would be much happier to go back to casual dating with no expectations. Atm I am miserable, worried about ds, missing nm and all in all far less happy than I was as a complete singleton this time last year.

Remotew · 04/08/2009 13:51

Hi everyone, been catching up with this thread.

I've been through all the DC bad behaviour issues and can remember it well, although nothing was resolved to happily ever after or I wouldn't be on this thread now.

If someone is worth it they will stick it out regardless of the ups and downs of being with a parent.

I met someone long term when DD was 9 and she was a complete nightmare. It's a big adjustment for the DC's when they have had you all to themselves. Still is, and she is 15 although I can see this changing very soon. The guy I was with persevered and even though we split 3 years ago, nothing to do with DD, she is still in contact with him as I am. It takes patience, understanding an most of all commitment. I used to hate it when after a few months the men in my life started interfering and critizing my parenting style, that was my key to getting rid, even if they had a point.

Sorry for the essay. Had a fabulous time at
the festival this weekend.

Lou hope you are feeling more optimistic now.

Messaging a couple of guys from POF, one of which I am definitley going to meet when he suggests it.

ninah · 04/08/2009 19:47

No thanks for the essay it was good to know there is a way forward, and I agree it sorts out the worthwhile men who persevere.
Now away from nm I am seeing things in more perspective and will aim to see him in child free time for a while and see how it goes.
Pof - nickname, eve? one of the two you mentioned earlier?

Remotew · 04/08/2009 20:05

Yes, one of the ones I mentioned before, nickname 'Prof'.

Strange one though as he said in his profile he wasn't keen on women that are serial daters and on the site constantly, yet everytime I go in hoping for a message from him he is online but not sending me a word!

ninah · 04/08/2009 20:33

Yes I wondered if it would be him!
that's a bit double standard isn't it
why don't you suggest a meet up then?

ridingjoker · 04/08/2009 20:37

eve - thats a bit odd and contradicting.

ninah - you have decided to put bf in bad books again. he has even been downgraded to nm again . but you have good reason for thought now i suppose.

dollparts - fab story about dd.

well... i came of a crazy pscho horse today. done my back a serious injury. its very interesting the reactions from the couple of fella i'm in contact with. its suprising who seems worried and who couldn't care.... says alot i suppose about them.

i will wait till they all get in contact and give you the results.

right now i'm laid up on the sofa in agony. mum just away from putting kids to bed as i cant lift anything as heavy as even a handbag.

went to hospital and the wait was 5+hrs... so i signed myself out.which was a bit of an arguement with the staff but there was no way i was sitting in agony for 5 hrs. they couldn't even give me any pain killers till i had waited the 5 hrs to see a doctor. flaming joke.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/08/2009 21:19

RJ-wtf?am thinking of you here it's bad enough being injured as a singleton but with dcs to think of as well it's a nightmare
Eve-thanks for your words there it does make sense and has helped me weed out others before dcs met nm.i wouldn't blame him if he did run in the opp.direction tbh and without wishing to force his hand i did give him the option(and laid it all on the line before we even went out together)to run.but he has told me that he's in this long haul-silly man lol
ninah and monty got your emails and will reply!

ridingjoker · 04/08/2009 21:23

asbm - i even called ex to see if he would come home to look after kids as i cant do a bloody thing.

he says no as there is a wedding this wkd he wants to go to.

fxxxwit.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 04/08/2009 21:36

hate to say this RJ but i'm not surprised
don't imagine that either you or i were ever a priority
it was all me me me and work

Remotew · 04/08/2009 21:41

RJ Ibrupofen? It might help. I haven't been riding but that festival and 3 nights in a tent took it's toll on a woman who is no spring chic. lol

Think I will suggest a meet up with 'Prof' soonish before I get the usual 'dear jane' message I've met someone whilst I drag my feet.

Asbm, all sounds like it's going well.

Ninah do you really want to be single again?

Remotew · 04/08/2009 22:07

OK ladies, advice needed from the experts, Prof is constantly online, it's POF and mine times out quickly so he must be going for someone else, yes?

It's his time to reply so maybe I should just write him off??? Or should I make an idiot of myself and send a second message. You know how cautious I am, normally, but I really want a chance with this one, he sounds quality.

ninah · 04/08/2009 22:17

rj that's bad news! hope you are coping
at your ex, who's dc are they ffs
but like asbm, not surprised. Arse!
yes he is relegated - again - at least in my brain. Was speaking to friends about ds behaviour and instead of suggesting ways I could improve things they said perhaps he has seen things in nm he really doesn't like and then my friend confessed he gave her - and her dd- the creeps. I'm not taking it overly to heart but ds has certainly been better away from him and now I'm not seeing him every day I'm getting things clearer in my head.
Eve no I don't want to be single particularly, it's bloody lonely at times, but I don't want to jump for the first man I meet because I can't face readjusting to a few grim evenings. He is kind nice and my family love him, I feel happier with him around but at the same time I just can't see how our families can fit together, and it may seem harsh but I don't want to mess around or ages with a pseudo 'relationship' that then fizzles out. I'd rather have the odd trip out or dinner (better take the calculator) when childfree. He is still married and won't get round to divorcing, he is hopeless about arranging things and right how he is off with a repulsive batchelor friend and dc in a tent somewhere and I have heard zilch from him. And he still has no hair. So he is def nm again right now.

ninah · 04/08/2009 22:18

message him eve what have you to lose?

ridingjoker · 04/08/2009 22:19

eve - wait for reply.
and was advised when i signed out of hospital to take ibrufen and co-codamol together to get me through the night and go back to a&e in morning or see GP.

asbm - yes, def not top priority. but thought perhaps his kids might. but no, obviously not

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