having sex with my ex who has a fiance,should i stop???

[steph1974]

hi,i'm steph,split up with my sons father when i was 8weeks pregnant cos he was nasty to my daughter(from another relationship),but i still am having sex with him 2years down the line and he has a fiance,my family tell me to stop?but we only split up cos we didnt get on not cos we stopped fancying eachother so we have been carrying on but he is living with someone else yet doesnt seem to mind cheating on her,does anyone else think i should stop???

didnt go back on after going shop cos i asked for your opinions and i got em so didnt feel need to plus i had to look after my son,i am a genuine person,not a plan to get people to talk about their own experiences,have only got one other post cos i only had broadband installed a week ago so am new to this,anyway have decided to take everyones advice seen as you cant all be wrong so am gonna stop,let u know how i get on if any of you are interested,after saturday...

and to custardo,if you read the other messages off me you would have seen that the fiance took him off me when i was 8weeks pregnant,knowing full well i was trying to work it out,so i dont go around shagging everyones fiances,he was with me until she came along,she didnt seem to mind seeing him knowing i was pregnant by him...

Revenge is bitter ..... give up girl !

Must admit, if you live by the sword you die by the sword. A woman who has shagged the bloke when his DP was 8 weeks pregnant, really has no cause for complaint when another woman does the same thing to her. I don't feel sorry for the fiancee at all. But I also don't think you should be doing this for your own sake Steph, and I'm glad you've made a decision to stop it.

Haven't read any of this thread just the original question and FFS Yes. Get a life!!!

what is we tell our children?

oh yes,

two wrogs don't make a right.

In my view if you are not a troll, then you are a trollop.

There, I've said it.

oh well steph thats alright then, glad you cleared that up, it makes perfect sense do have done what you did.

So he treated you and your daughter like dirt, now he's treating you and his fiancee like dirt, forcing you into sex and using you as he pleases whilst screwing around behind her back. And laughing at the pair of you, no doubt.

And you're defending him?

hey it must be great to be so moral and obviously i am the only one thats ever done anything like this,i have never cheated on anyone in my life and this is the first time i have done anything like this and as i said its slightly more complicated than me being the other woman and if i was doing this based upon the two wrongs dont make a right theory i would have told his fiance when she followed me round the supermarket just last week but i didnt,and like i already put i have decided to stop and i texted him this morning to say so,and in an earlier thread someone put if i havent his home number (cos i said i cant get to talk to her)how the hell do i get hold of him in emergencies,well i have his mobile no. only which is how i couldnt tell her even if i wanted to...anyway again thanks for the comments, i know i am not a trollop cos i have the full story and if u knew the full story yourselves you wouldnt be saying that but as you dont i cant blame you for thinking that,love to stay and read some more nasty remarks but i cant spend my days constantly sitting on here cos i have my children to look after and oh yeh a life too....laters...

ohcome on steph loads of people shag around with other peoples blokes and they shag just for shags sake, dont be so tetchy people on mumsnet arent normal

I'm not moraliseing, and I don't really care about the fact that he's with someone else. That's not the issue.

The issue is that he treated you and your child like dirt, he is treating you and the other woman like dirt, he forces you into sex, and you are still happy to be involved that way.

Find some self-respect, girl.

All the best Steph

Whilst MNetters have generally never been sympathetic to poeple who have affairs, you are receiving quite an earbashing and alot of negativity. Glad that you can walk away and hope you are not too distraught at the name calling.

I hope that you one day if and when your ready, you can meet a supportive, wonderful partner to share your life with.

That's what she said, Beety. She doesn't want it (although she also does), she tells him not to, and he still carries on.

not being tetchy but have had a proper dressing down it would seem from people who never make mistakes like i did,its hard to think straight when you were in love with someone who says they want a baby with you,propose to you etc and then as soon as you get pregnant and have the first argument they dont wanna try to make it work anymore and then you have the fiance who went with him after i asked her to leave him alone until we had decided for definate if it was saveable or not,so yes i made a mistake but it wasnt a cold calculated revenge type of mistake,it was a gutted that i was a sinlge mum of two kids and she took him away from me kinda mistake,and it was a trying to keep hold of him anyway i could kinda mistake, but i wouldnt expect anyone to understand why i did it but at least i am doing the right thing now...now i definately have to go,am well late...

If you didn't want to hear us say you were wrong, why did you ask us if you were wrong? Sorry, but if you're perfectly happy with the situation, then why does what we think matter, and why ask us in the first place?

If you're happy being treated this way then go for it, carry on. You don't sound very happy about it all to me, though.

have already said i have told him its stopping this morning...keep up...right feel free to bitch away cos am gone now...

have already said i have told him its stopping this morning...keep up...right feel free to bitch away cos am gone now...

Hey, don't accuse me of bitching, I have said nothing bitchy to or about you.

Re this bit...

"cos he comes over,we have sex,then he takes my son,fetchs him back and then the same happens the following sat"

Must just ask.. who does look after the baby while the sex occurs??? Do you have to hire a babysitter?? Or does a family member oblige, and so this is how they know about the ins and outs of your sex life?? (no pun intended!!)

Sorry.. it was just a burning question from further down the thread... was being neither insulting nor judgemetal which is more than can be said for some! How do have a regular-as-clockword Saturday morning sex session when you have a nine month old baby to care for? He can't always be alseep...

did i say you specifically?no,read all the comments yesterday,people carried on bitching while i was at the shop,no doubt that will continue,have said over and over that i appreciate everyones comments but i dont agree with the dressing down i have had as bad as its been cos it was not a simple case of me meeting him and thinking 'oh i like him,never mind that he has a fiance,i'm gonna shag him anyway',my dad killed himself cos my mum was having an affair so its not something i do as a norm,as i know the repercussions of it all too well,but like i say its a damn sight more complicated than everyone realises,i just wanted peoples opinions on whether i should stop, the general opinion is yes so i have,end of...