where have all the fit and interesting men gone part.....9? isit 9?

[ridingjoker]

ooooh i get to start the thread.
unless i'm being thick and cant find it.

lou - go on send me a pic of dark horse i'm so nosey.

ninah - i think thats really rude of your friend. if she didn't have anything nice to say she shouldn't have said anything at all.

thanks rj, your advice always sounds right when I read it for other people so I'm sure you're right now! hard to see when in the thick of things. I'm terrible for rushing through men like a whirlwind - slowing down is good
He seems a lot more relaxed now but I am sure he must be wary as his wife left him for someone else after quite a long and seemingly happy marriage
I am not all that sure either

yes we have been in touch a fair bit, i have his thai number too but i havent called him

email then lou?

usually via fb chat or leaving messages

glad you are still in touch I was wondering too!

ah there you go ninah. didn't want to presume. he got burned by a relationship he thought was good. wary that things could seem to be going good. but really he doesn't trust his own instincts anymore as to whether they are or not.

oh yes i am jealous of all the lovely pics he is putting up on fb

i cant see him coming back as soon as he was thinking

once you get over there and settle in it doesnt seem to bad lol

still early days lou
When I moved here I was wow this is pretty, fields, sunsets, now I don't see it anymore
OK I'm sure it looks spectacular ...
see rj you are genius
thing is I don't want to wait another ten years or even another five really
I can't do in-betweeny any more, I'd rather be happily single

ninah - I don't have any lovey feelings for exh (tbh they evaporated a bit after ds1 was born and completely after ds2)- just contempt and resentment - I do need to move away from that place to indifference but its so hard when I have to have quite alot of contact with him. I try to keep it to a minimum.

Do you really want to get married again? Has he mentioned it since.

I am fairly certain I will not be getting married again or have a man living in my home full time.

I think that's another sign of emotionally abusive - he moved on soo quickly to next victim whilst nearly three years on I am v wary.

me either scl, once was enough!

I know you don't lost, I mean angry feelings, they like that cos it shows they still affect you
Does he contact you a lot? ex and I tend not to speak unless at handovers, he always gives me a hug at the end which is a bit weird
I would not be liking being told how to bring up the dc
yes mine moved on quickly, before I even knew about it! because of the circs I can't feel too sorry for her but I'm sure he'll make her miserable too.
we were not married, I haven't really experienced happy family life, and I'd like to, when I see nm with dc sometimes it makes me realise what I missed

and sorry I mixed you up with itm there for a mo it has been three years for you, sorry

generally keep contact to a minimum. But I couldn't let the issue of her asking dcs to tell me something go. They are not to be used a means of communicating stuff between adults.

no, that is sooo rubbish.
OK, it must be diffent ball game when ex has p in the picture esp one like that. Must stir up no end of extra trouble.
how do your dc get on with her generally?

how far along is nm with his divorce ninah?

not even started ...

oh!
how long have they been separated?

i've never married. never ever felt i've met anyone who i would want to. but if i ever were to have any more dc i would only do that in a marriage as i got so ridiculously screwed it is ridiculous. entered into relationship with own house,car and savings.

left with debts and sweet FA. he gets to keep a 5 bed house and legally doesn't HAVE to pay maintence due to clever book keeping. so i have to play nice to get it.

but tbh i would say no to marriage and anymore dc unless the guy was pretty damn fantastic and i was sure not to be scrwed over again.

right - oh! they have been separated just over 2 years I think
we also discussed this, I asked him if he was planning to and he said he wanted to and had put it off because he didn't want to pay the admin (is v tight)
I said well he should look into it cos I don't fancy going out with a married man
he said he would
hasn't got round to it

hey ninah - i know where your coming from with this. my ex was seperated 2 yr when i met him. for the whole 5 yrs we were together he insisted he would "get round" to divorcing. he even tried proposing to me. which was rejected as he was already married. but the real bug bear was he would occasionally say wife instead of exwife when talking about her.

oh I always call her wife
he winces
he just better let those moths out of his wallet soonish
I don't think it's because he's emotionally tied to her, it really is the getting round to it, plus sorting it means he has to stir things up as well as spend some £
Also it is a deterrent for women like me lol
His wife has a nm too and usually calls the shots in most matters so it might come from her.

don't get me wrong here I'm no Miss Haversham

who's miss haversham? what did she do? am i too young to understand that comparison

oh god, and me only 42 ....
an old spinster in Dickens who is ?jilted, she lives in her wedding dress and is found in a room with a cake covered in cobwebs

she sounds a right crazy old cat lady type.

i'm 25