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Lone parents

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Original poster

lets laugh, who gets maintenance and how much?

297 replies

onlywantsone · 12/02/2009 08:11

I'm laughing, really I am - my XP doesnt see my DD due to various issues but givesme a voluntary contribution towards her upbringing out of the "kindness" of his heart of

drum roll please

£5 a week

TA DA!!!!!

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ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 18:53

not a decent wage when you are paying a london rent plus bills.
do no child should be more important than the other! y should an older child take favour over the younger?
do lone parents not get any help towards rent plus other benefits,coz we certainly dont! the lone parents i know earn more in a month than i do going out to work!

ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 18:54

and why are people generally being nasty and getting personal when all im saying is the csa system is shit!

Remotew · 12/02/2009 18:55

I get £13 per week. It's been the same amount for years. CSA advised me to get it re-assessed for a certain increase. As it goes straight into DD's savings account she wants me to get an increase .

We only have 3 years to go, she has a job now and I've more pride than to go through it for a small increase.

His family helped me when she was little so that I could work to support her, that was invaluable.

FWIW I don't agree that step parents income should be taken into account.

oldraver · 12/02/2009 18:55

not so AHM... you are the one who made an issue of the £300 being for arrears as well and accused me of not knowing the system. Yes it isnt a competition but you seem to be deluded that you are the only one that knows anything about dealing with the CSA when you actually know very little ho hum

Yes I do think the CSA has acted correctly toward you, well done them. The system has worked as it should. I dont mean that from a gloating point of view but from a view of sheer frustration at being constantly stonewalled by this organistaion, who have massive powers but dont use them. Just for one moment come of your high horse and think how hard it is to be on the other side of the fence. I actually hope you never find out

Maybe we should have your ex's case worker number as they are obviously doing a better job than mine

I think now you just need to accept your position. No amount of moaning is going to change your situation and you just need to deal with it. Any sympathy I may of had for you is rapidly going

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine · 12/02/2009 18:56

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GypsyMoth · 12/02/2009 18:56

Why are you assuming that all lone parents claim benefits?

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/02/2009 18:57

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FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 18:59

oh yes the £220 a week goes such a long way to bring 3 children up, provide a roof over their head, feed them, clothe them, pay for school stuff, pay your bills etc etc - and that's including the child benefit which everyone gets.

oldraver · 12/02/2009 19:00

Ohh of course all lone parents gets massive amounts of money, rent paid etc etc ROFL

ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 19:01

i said all the lone parents i know,not all lone parents.
reality,i am far from being a twat,but thanks for that grown up input and as for you oldraver,i never ever wanted any form of sympathy,and am certainly not deluded.likewise i hope none of you are ever in my situation.
maybe the 3 of you should just carry on this post as you are seriously not getting what i am trying to say.
from the deluded twat.

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 19:02

well if money is that tight for you both - why doesn't one of your do an extra job? You have that potential seen as though there's 2 of you..

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine · 12/02/2009 19:04

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ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 19:05

my husband works full time and i do 2 jobs already.practically full time.any other bright ideas? its seriously not your problem,its obvious that there are two of us and we i should nhave remained childless just in case the csa happened to pop up or contact was made 11 years later.now why didnt i think of that,what a twat i am dear.

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine · 12/02/2009 19:05

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StewieGriffinsMom · 12/02/2009 19:05

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ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 19:06

move out of london and my husband loses his job and i lose mine.what ann excellent idea.

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 19:09

yes but you KNEW he had children the POTENTIAL for CSA coming for money from you was ALWAYS they.

I take if you've been posting from work (or about to head off to work)

oldraver · 12/02/2009 19:10

Maybe the THREE of us dont get what your saying as what your saying holds no value ??

You still havnt addressed the issue of what you would see as a fair system ?? You have said you have no problem with paying child support so exactly what is your problem ?? What exactly do you want of the CSA, what would be a comfortable level to pay ?? The £12/13 others are getting which is frankly an insult but better than nothing

Oh to be in your situation not Happy... with only two wages coming in

ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 19:10

no faq,i head off to work at 8.but very funny.

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 19:11

I wasn't being funny - sheesh lighten up a bit! You sound awfully like the "bitter stepmum" the way you're coming across

"it's my money and it's not fair that he spends 10% of his income on his other child whiles the other 90% is still avaiable to spend on ours"

oldraver · 12/02/2009 19:12

Sorry I stand corrected.....you only have THREE wages coming in

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 19:12

lol raver

ahappymummy · 12/02/2009 19:14

as i said its just getting personal,delusional,twat,what im saying holds no value,and oh we have two wages coming in,fuckin hell that must mean we r rolling in it!ladies,thank you for making me feel very welcome in this topic,trying to understand me and most of all your support.have fun and i am so happy that you all think the csa is fabulous.great,at least its working for lone parents.fuck the NRP and their families eh?!

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 19:15

I thought you did 2 jobs and he does 1 - that makes 3 in my books........

and obviously not that full time that you're wide awake at 2pm and off to work at 8pm

Haribosmummy · 12/02/2009 19:15

Have been following this one with interest...

my DH has two children with his first wife. We have one. We made the decision not to even contemplate changing the amount we pay to his Ex / the kids when our son was born.

For me, it's not really JUST about money.

In fact, we moved to a larger house so that both of his daughters could keep separate rooms. We felt it was important for his daughters to appreciate that nothing was changing for them.

I really disagree with people being able to go back and change amounts of money unless they HAVE to (and, IMHO, having more children is not a NECCESSARY change). I would be extremely angry if DH's ex wife tried to increase her money because my DH now earns more.. He's taken on more overtime to ensure that we can provide a similar lifestyle (not better not worse) for our son.

FWIW, My husband actually works abroad 5 days a week so I have a tiny idea what it's like to be a single parent... I have no support locally (we live here to be near DH's daughters), so I know what it's like trying to work around childcare, and what it's like having to look after a baby when you've had no sleep and feel like s**t...

But, IM(very humble)O, I don't think the CSA guidelines are enough. 10% of someone's salary is peanuts.