By HOLLY23 on Tue 17-Feb-09 15:14:38 - "N1 - Need a male opinion on this. If a man says he's not too bothered by looks but feels personality is more important, is he saying this because a) He's ugly and knows it, b)He thinks its what women like to hear or c)another reason entirely?"
I might not be the best person to ask because I seem to differ from some men. You did ask for a male opinion and I can give that.
I will give you the opinion and experience answer.
I can't say that I know many men who can honestly say that looks don't count at all. For me, looks do count to start the attraction. If I don't like the initial look of the person, nothing is going to happen.
You might want to think more about what the man is not bothered by. Perhaps figure out what the man imagines would happen between you and him. If it's only sex, then he might not feel bothered by any person's looks. If the man just wants to go out and have fun with female company, looks might not be an issue.
Personality is important. You can have the best looks but have a right bitch of a personality with to much sarcasm and to much venom in your personality. No one will like you.
When the "looks matter less and personality counts" point shines through, to me that's a person wanting to start something and see how it goes, but they want to start something in real life. If you think you might have a problem saying "no" or might fold to someone being a bit persistent, then don't start something that you don't feel you can end.
Looks matter for most people. How much it matters is not something you will find out at the start. There are risks in life and if you like the person, then you can weigh up your own risk (if it's a risk) and take the chance. It's better to have a few fun months and come away from that than do nothing and live a fife of hope.
The important point is that you choose the points that you consider important. Rather enter into a friendship than a relationship. Friendships have a set of moral values, relationships have a different set of moral values.
A person interested in you would have a friendship as well as a relationship and be happy with either.
You can't limit me with an a,b or c option. Unless you want me to specifically answer with an answer like that. In your question, I couldn't offer the individual answer because I don't know what I am looking at. You make reference to someone that you don't like and someone that you do. If you want my perspective, I would want to know about you and him, then make my own comparison and then give you an answer.
If I were to be in a position to know about you and the man, then I would use you as a leading person. If you don't really like the person, is there any point in trying - on the off chance that you grow to like him?
There is a chance that the man feels unattractive, but that's not your concern. If you like him you should feel some attraction.