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where have all the fit and interesting available men gone?

1000 replies

aseriouslyblondemoment · 27/01/2009 20:02

its just a thought which has been pondered upon by a few of us on here
as Lou 33 said if she knew the answer then she wouldn't be on MN

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 18:15

isn't it?
add it to your list!
beats fcuk off fat minger!
thanks niceguy2 i owe you lol!

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elmoandella · 02/02/2009 18:17
Grin
aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 18:19

will lie low for a bit tho
til he pesters for an answer
then i can tell him
jobs a good un
asbm can move on

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elmoandella · 02/02/2009 18:21

lol. excellent plan. how bads your snow??

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 18:25

few inches here in the midlands
not enough for decent snowman
didnt take dcs into school this morning as its a long school run that i have
and i was knackd with all this MSN-ing into the early wee hours
so i rang them from my bed!
anyhow children all sent home at 1pm
school shut tomorrow too
woo bloody hoo!

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elmoandella · 02/02/2009 18:30

it's about ankle deep here. and finally stopped. no idea if it'll be gone by the morning.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 18:37

just thought of another thing to add to sweetshop syndrome
you're friends point it out to you but you are for some reason unable to see it despite being a sensible savvy woman

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sincitylover · 02/02/2009 18:50

I don't really look at it like that - I expect ppl (myself included) to just be generally looking around and communicating with several people at once and then maybe dating more than one at the beginning. So wld expect him to be looking around.

But maybe I have misunderstood or am not savvy enough!!

I don't think I could get the full measure of someone until I met them really. So few of them are of interest too me then most of them are ruled out at the beginning.

And can't say for sure what I am looking for ie some people are certain they want serious relationship but I am not sure that's what I want.

elmoandella · 02/02/2009 18:57

when i'm actually dating and meeting i cant do more than 1 at a time. too emotional confusing to be stringing more than one fella along at once.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 19:02

SCL you are very savvy!
it was my cynical side
i know exactly what you're saying
i also don't exactly know what i want or am looking for
i am open minded tho now
i will just know when i meet him

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 19:03

perhaps i already have lol!

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sincitylover · 02/02/2009 19:04

maybe I am weird but I could do that because until you meet then you can't possibly know what they are like - as last week would testify!

And the two dates I went on in the summer were just that dates - there was quite alot of texting and emailing and chatting beforehand where on the face of it you would think we would get on well but when we actually met there was zero chemistry or a big fat red flag appeared that wasn't evident before.

I am beginning to think that I am too old cynical and jaded to be otherwise. Also bit of a butterfly mind and personality. However very loyal once serious and committed I should add!!

sincitylover · 02/02/2009 19:05

yeah perhaps I have too and that's the problem.

N1 · 02/02/2009 19:47

I went out at 7 this morning and there was an inch of snow and I was pleased. Car started (which has made a change from the last few weeks) and I was on the school run - one child, my son. Half way to school (30 miles away) I was nearly an hour late and in 2 inches of snow. I was not so pleased. Long story short. Got to school and my son was less than an hour late, school was ok with that.

I went to court, walked into court half way through a final hearing and it seems like everything is not as it should be... not good. Submissions in the morning.

I get home and there is about 4 inches of snow - I am pleased about the snow.

I had a nice early night this morning, I was fast asleep before the sun came up. Sometimes a coffee is better than a glass of water.

elmoandella. If I were you, I would ask if you can give the ex a bill thats in your name and see if you can get him to agree to pay the bill during the week that you give it to him. Explain that you want to keep the bill in your name because a bill in his name suggests that he lives in your house, which isn't true. Also mention that if he was paying the telephone that you can't retain your privacy which you feel you should have. See what he says. Solicitors know how to stir up people and the hostility that follows isn't justified, but you get it anyways. Try to choose bills that are the same amount each month, so that the amount stays the same and becomes predictable. That's my suggestion. Also ask if you can scan the bill in and email it to him, then ask him to email the receipt back to you - so you don't have to talk to him.

I share sincitylover's sentiments about knowing a person on text and MSN and then meeting them. I have had to text someone who was standing 10ft away from me to find them - they look nothing like their profile. Meeting in person makes all the diffrence.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 20:17

SCL we're back onto exbf here
N1 if you like chatting to someone on MSN and the conversation is easy and just flows you are part of the way there IMO
meeting them just seals the deal i think

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N1 · 02/02/2009 20:37

You need to know where someone lives before you can meet them and your advice might apply to them as well (not trying to throw anything back at you)

aseriouslyblondemoment on Sun 01-Feb-09 21:48:40 "no i wouldnt go
unless i had spoken on phone
i refused to meet my exbf til he had called me....."

So....I was thinking about the advice you presented.

and asking myself....

You wouldn't go to meet someone who you didn't speak to on the phone, but does the same apply if they go to meet you - in your honest opinion.

Tricky that one - isn't it?

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 20:54

hmm
ok nothing has been thrown back at me as such
as is say i generally get a feel for a person thru in my case MSN
if that person man interests me enough then i will give him my mobile no
might not be straight away,but eventually
and no i would need to chat properly first and i would expect that the man would want to do the same thing
i would find it rather odd if he didnt IMO

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N1 · 02/02/2009 21:07

Good that nothing feels thrown back.

Right, so I am getting these key points here.

  • You need to get a feel for the person, as in you being the?? person that someone is interested in.

  • If you feel interested enough in the person showing interest, you give them your phone number, although that extension might take a while....or eventually.

  • There needs to be a mutual desire to chat properly first before the above points can be applied to the point of expectation. If the expectation isn't shared, then the person showing interest is automatically "odd".

or....and I wrong somewhere?

I just like to be clear, I might just need this advice in the future.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 21:32

no the person showing interest isn't odd at all
i would find it strange and not at all me to purely go by MSN or text i would also need to chat first
if i or he then decided not to take things further i.e meet up properly then that is just one of those things i guess
it is of course different in a RL situation as those you meet you can talk to face to face as such and observe various things about them and obviously get more of a feel for a person,and then if you obviously both want to meet again.
but there again like many here i do not go out that often to the 'places' where i am likely to meet a like minded single man
hence we're back to the internet
and you can take my advice if it is advice and use it
it is merely my way of explaining how i do things
obviously one or more of the others might chip in here

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Remotew · 02/02/2009 22:55

The last two men that I've met in person off the internet, I hadn't chatted to on the phone previously, just on email and msn. I don't thinks its necessary to speak on the phone first and would prefer not too.

That could be a quirk as I would find it awkward.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 23:09

why would you find it awkward?
i like to but then that's me and seems the natural progression from msn etc
how did you find them in real life then?

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Remotew · 02/02/2009 23:15

Had a love affair with one. The other was OK and we had a nice date, was going to see him again but got busy and it's too cold to go out

I don't know why I find it awkward, just prefer to skip that stage.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 23:26

perhaps you're not as downright curious as me
thou my curiosity often gets the better of me lol!

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 23:29

i am also a bit of a chatterbox too i hasten to add
and then there's me and accents again
could not sit and listen to a voice i didn't like the sound of
would be looking to find excuses to leave or clock watching

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aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/02/2009 23:49

OMG!
have just checked messages on FRD
the man who i have to let down has messaged and is online
am afraid to look!

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